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Hovis Friday diary: I am traumatised, severely traumatised and may not recover

Hovis Friday diary: I am traumatised, severely traumatised and may not recover
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Hovis Friday diary: Do you need me to write this in braille?

Dear Diary, I would like to start by asking you if you need me to write this diary in braille? Because frankly, I’m starting to worry about many, many, many of yous’ eyesight if the response to a certain photograph mother put on Facebook the other day is anything to go by (the one above). […]

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Hovis Friday diary: My field sounds like mother – prone to over exaggeration and a tad high-maintenance

Dear diary, Thank you to all of you for your sympathy and good wishes upon seeing the damage that the cutesy carrot coloured carnivore had wreaked upon my mouth last week. It was fair to say I looked like I had attempted to play tonsil hockey with a shark and the thought of putting anything […]

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Hovis Friday diary: She s my mother and if anyone is going to deck her it s me

Dear diary, Over the years, I have often heard an expression regarding the Karma Bus, but up until this week, was not sure of its existence. Don’t get me wrong, I have seen plenty of buses, but they’re usually headed to exotic sounding places like Frog-In-A-Marsh and full of octogenarians eating Worthers Originals and discussing […]

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Hovis Friday diary: I am the most handsome gelding in the world

Dear diary, So, the countdown is firmly on now to Your Horse is Alive. I know this because a) I am highly intelligent and can read a calendar and b) because mother is running about like a blue-footed booby in mating season. Last week, as I told you, I had Evil Army Man come and […]

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