Crazyass stuff, like last week, when he made this case for his inclusion in the president ial debates. And do you think if you were able to get on the debate stage, that you could pull even with trump and clinton in these polls . I do. And it wouldnt have anything to do with my debate performance. Either it would just be that people would recognize that theres another choice and that there would be an examination of me and bill weld as who we are and what weve done, and based on that, i think i could stand up there for the whole debate and not say anything and emerge as the leader. laughter applause mocking stephen i think that park bench is where gary johnson lives. laughter and it doesnt get much better when you can understand him. For example, take his position on climate change, as he explained back in 2011. Change. I think the world is getting warmer. I think its mancaused. We should building new coalfired plants. Should we take the longterm view when it comes to Global Warming . I think we should. The long term view is that, in billions of years, the sun is going to actually grow and encompass the earth, right . So Global Warming is in our in our future. laughter stephen thats the same excuse i use around the house. Sorry, honey, id take out the trash, but in a couple of billion years the sun is going to engulf the earth, so, whats just a few days ago, johnson clarified his position, saying that his long Term Solution to Global Warming is that we do have to inhabit other planets. I believe gary johnson already does. applause gary johnson seems like a bit of a masochist, and its not just biting his tongue. According to the economist, he once shut himself inside a freezer to prove he could withstand the cold, and he clamped an alligator clip onto his tongue to show he could withstand pain. Which means if he doesnt win the presidency, hes still got a good shot to be in the next jackass movie. laughter applause he didnt help his chances earlier this month on msnbcs the coffee joe morning show when coffee joe barnacle asked him his position on the epicenter of the syrian refugee crisis, aleppo. And what would you do if you were elected, about aleppo . About. . Aleppo. And what is aleppo . Youre kidding. Stephen yes. Obviously, hes just kidding its a joke knockknock. Whos e . 400,000 refugeees. No surprise johnson is polling at nearly 37 among military Service Members because if the president doesnt know about syria, theres no way hes sending you there. applause i think we just applauded for yay what are we applauding for . We dont know im with you, my friends. And just last night, johnson made another gaffe at an msnbc town hall. Whos your favorite foreign leader . Whos my favorite any, just name anywhere in the country, any one of the continents, any country. Name one foreign leader that you respect and look up to. Anybody. exhales you got to do this. Anywhere. Any continent. Canada . Mexico . Europe, over there . Asian . South america . Africa . Name a foreign leader that you respect. I guess im having an aleppo moment. Stephen that is an aleppo moment because bombing like that should be a war crime. Eventually, johnson was bailed out by his running mate, former Massachusetts Governor and guy wholl be played in the showtime miniseries by a wheel of cheese, william weld. Anybody in the world you like. Anybody pick any leader the former president of mexico. Which one . sighs heavily im having a brain, im having a brain zedillo . Fox thank you who is your favorite leader . Get him off the hook, name a foreign leader. Fox stephen fox thats it mexican president megan fox laughter obviously, Gary Johnsons ignorance, crazy ideas and strange tongue exercises make him the most laughable candidate out there. Or, should. laughter but things might be looking up for gary johnson because it was Just Announced that former nickolodeon star Melissa Joan Hart was named chair of his connecticut campaign. Thats right clarissa. Perfect. He could really use someone who explains it all to him. applause point is, hes staying in the race despite fivethirtyeight giving him a less than 0. 1 chance of winning in november. So voting for johnson might be throwing your vote away, but going to swallow the earth anyway. laughter well be right back with Morgan Freeman. . Cheeps wow this toilet paper reminds me of a washcloth thats charmin ultra strong, dude. Cleans so well. It keeps your underwear cleaner. secretly so clean. You could wear them a second day. Tell me i did not just hear that sheepishly i said you could. Not that you would . Charmin ultra strong with its washclothlike texture, helps clean better than the leading flattextured bargain brand. S better. You should try it, skidz. We all go. 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Every time i travel, its the moments that are most rewarding. Because youll never forget them. Join Marriott Rewards and well help you find your moments with our diverse collection of hotels and resorts around the world. So no matter where you go, you are here. Why am i so devastatingly handsome, im in a fragrance. Ad, and my sweethearts gone sayonara. This scarf, all thats left to remember. What she washed this like a month ago . cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody hey we did it welcome back to the late show. My first guest tonight is an Academy Awardwinning actor, a director, and the executive producer of madam secretary, here on cbs. Please welcome Morgan Freeman stephen welcome, Morgan Freeman thank you very much, Stephen Colbert stephen youre always a lovely guest to have. Thank you. Stephen before we go any further, Morgan Freeman, can i ask what i am orlando 2016 means . This has to do with the Invictus Games, the Wounded WarriorsInvictus Games started by he did. It was him. Stephen are you competing in the games this year . Not this year, no. Stephen were you an athlete when you were younger . Did you compete in athletics when you were younger . No. Stephen all right. Lets move on. Okay. Stephen do you know what you are a champion at . No. Stephen the arts, because you just received this is fantastic, a goal nor any artist you just received the highest award the United States can give to any artist, the cheers and applause stephen thats pretty exciting. How did you find out you were getting it . I uh stephen am i telling you right now for the first time . No, i usually get a call. Stephen was his name no, he didnt call. Stephen nor did you go to the ceremony, i understand. No. Well, he didnt call. Stephen you werent able to make it to the ceremony, so theres no photo of you at the ceremony, so we made up one for you. There you are. applause just so you have something. A memento. Have you gotten a medal . No. Theyll probably send it to the house. Stephen yeah . Do you know what it looks like . No idea. Stephen there is such a thing as being too casual about this, Morgan Freeman. Im sorry. I apologize. Stephen dont apologize to me. Who . Stephen apologize to the national art people . Do you know who decides to give this to you . Is it congress . Who makes the decision . Well, the note said the president. Stephen really . Yeah stephen hes just sitting in bed watching shawshank one night and goes, im going to give that man a medal. apse right . I dont know. Stephen you just dont know. These powerful people make up their mind and things happen. Thats for sure. Stephen when youre not doing your fancy hollywood stuff and your executive producing madam secretary, youre down in mississippi. Youve got a ranch there, right . Sort of. I have horses. Stephen you have horses. When i think ranch, i think of cattle and stuff, and i dont do any of that. You have bees. I have bees. I have a bee ranch. Stephen how do the horses feel about the bees . They get along quite well, and ill tell you why. Stephen why . The bees dont fool around with the horses. laughter they just dont. Stephen they dont fool around with Morgan Freeman either, i understand. Not really, no. Stephen is it true that you actually didnt wear the apiary, the beekeeper outfit . If youre going to harvest and fool around with them a lot, yes, you wear the paraphernalia. But just to check the hives, they wont bother you. Stephen anyone or they wont bother Morgan Freeman . laughter because you just mellow them out . You get on their wavelength. Thats all they need. They just need calmness. Stephen really . Yeah, if youre just grapes once in 1962 in nappa valley, and bees are all over you, and youre not getting stung or bothered in any way. If you get sugar on you, you will get a bee on you. Stephen dont go to a beehive slattered in sugar is the lesson there. Stephen do you sell this Morgan Freeman honey . And i dont just mean your delicious voice freeman . I havent figured that out. Stephen just put Morgan Freeman on the label. There is the f. D. A. , the Health Department people youve got to deal with and i havent figured out how to get past them. Stephen just flash your little president ial medal and say, back off. applause this is the National Medal of the arts. Youve got nothing to worry about. Youve got a getoutofjailfree medal, my friend. Would work . Stephen i do why dont you ask my friend barack. I will. Ill get a chance to ask him. Stephen also, do you have any kind of relationship with hillary clinton, by the way . Yes, i do. Stephen you do. Because i understand she was one of the inspirations for madam secretary, which you are executive producer and you play chief justice and direct the premiere. The second and third original you know, the first series season show. Stephen whens the season premiere this year . Sunday night. Stephen and you directed that. Yes applause stephen someones already seen it. What was the inspiration . What was the ahha we should make a movie . When we saw hillary going through that whole thing about benghazi stephen when she was in the hearings for 11 hours there . Yeah, and we have been up with some idea that you would want to hang with, a story you want to tell, and we thought, you know, weve had three female secretaries of state, and theyve all been pretty good at it. And so applause awful lot of material there to feed from, so why dont we try that . And then somebody that sounds good. What will we call it . Madam secretary. Stephen and thats how you executive produce. There it is. Thats precisely it. Stephen wow. And my producing partner really gets angry with me when i say, yeah, executive producer, its a title. He says, you work, you do a lot of stuff i say, yeah, what . If she gets elected, do you think that will change your tv show at all, the story line at all . No, no, because theyre not based on her. Stephen inspired by her. You understand stephen i know its not a bio pic of hillary clinton. No, its not. If she gets to be president , well do that. Stephen you had a riabout her life at the democratic convention. I narrated a lot of stuff for her. Stephen what is more challenging, the migration of penguins across antarctica or narrating for hillary clinton. No, actually, its all in your belief system, as it were, and i like the story of the penguins, and i like hillary. Stephen Everybody Loves any similarities . , none. Stephen so the story is going nowhere. Ill drop it. I like that about you. Stephen youre a friend of elon musk. Yeah. Stephen he says you can go to mars for 10 billion. Would you want to go to live on mars if you had the money . Not yet. Stephen why. Its not even like the western frontier where there was nothing out there but grass and buffalo but there was stephen right. There is nothing on mars. There is not even water that you can be sure of. Stephen hes not a great salesman for it because he said, it will cost 10 million and pretty sure youre gonna die. laughter before you get back here, sure. Stephen its a oneway trip, 10 million and a oneway trip and youre probably gonna die. Well, like you say, not much of a sales pitch. Stephen yes. Well, the new season of madam secretary starts this sunday, i directed it. Its going to be on at 9 00. Its going to be very exciting. Were going to have a very exciting season actually, because im reading the scripts as they come in. Stephen at some points she becomes elected president and then laughter watch my lips, stephen no. applause stephen the new season of madam secretary premieres sunday at 9 00 on cbs Morgan Freeman, everybody mars pioneer well be back with judith light this is the story of falls biggest fan. Autumn was born on the first day of fall. And from an early age she learned to love the season. Leaf piles and pumpkin pies. Hot apple cider and cozy sweaters. Which brings us to the very moment she fell for fall all over again. Was she expecting to find the perfect designer boots at such an amazing price . No. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. A find, but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. Can a toothpaste do everything well . This clean was like pow. It felt like i had just gone to the dentist. It just kind of like, wiped everything clean. My teeth are glowing. They look great. They are so white. Crest hd 6x cleaning. 6x whitening. And at two weeks, superior sensitivity relief to the leading sensitivity toothpaste. I actually really like the two steps crest healthy, beautiful smiles for life. This man can lift a 526 pound barrel of tennessee whiskey. These people can do everything else. . This is lynchburg, tennessee. The home of jack daniels. This is lynchburg, tennessee. You know, in any job, any profession, image matters. I want some gray. But not too much. Only touch of gray uses oxygen salt and pepper look. Satisfaction guaranteed. Just you and the look you want. Just for men touch of gray looking for balance in your digestive system . Try align probiotic. 7. With 24 7 digestive support. Kids. Yes, you did. You treat me horribly most of the time. Why dont you just go. Youre kicking us out . Es, this is my place, my time, me pampering myself. Im going to have a massage, a mannypedi and im going to trevor is teaching me about self care. Who is trevor. The gay who comes with the room. Stephen please welcome judith light cheers and applause . And you, sir, very nice to see you. Stephen nice to see you, too. Really, i adore you, just let that be known. Stephen i have sudden very strong affections for you as well. Thank you so much. Stephen if i told you five years ago that you were going to be on a hit series that was available only through a company that also sells bulk toilet paper yes. Stephen amazon, what would you have said to me in response . I would hsa stephen but isnt it strange all the different places you can get entertainment now . Extraordinary. Somebody once said what does it feel like to do a show on a Home Shopping network . I said it is that kind of thing that is changing the world. Amazon is the best partner anybody could possibly have. Theyre amazing. Stephen other than cbs. Yes, and we do love cbs. Stephen and if anybody paper, just let me know. I get a deal. Stephen do you really get a deal . I do. Stephen do you get a deal on amazon products . I get a deal. Stephen i would negotiate that. Do you get Free Shipping . I do get Free Shipping. Stephen the show has been really groundbreaking in talking about introducing people to the trans community, trans concerns. Do you feel like a pressure to continue that . Because its a family story, but its also been sort of a cultural milestone. Does the cultural milestone aspect of it feel like we have to continue this, we have to continue educating people . Its the context from which everything comes. It is the gift that keeps on giving. It is jills story, it is about her parent and we never let that go, and Jeffrey Tambor who is so brilliant in this show applause he has really taken up the us feel an incredible responsibility and, for me, i have been an ally for the Lgbt Community for many, many years and, so, for me, its just another part of the advocacy of my life and the joy i get to do that. Stephen your new character this season is sort of a selfstyled, selfhelp guru. Thats correct. Stephen have you ever indulged in the selfhelp gurudom . Im a girl of the 60s i mean, we did all of that. I mea stephen what did you try . Because i would love to be in a cult. I would love somebody to tell me what to do, how to think. Youre in television laughter stephen exactly right. I talk there, i say these words, i talk to her. Exactly stephen no, but, really, were you in any sort of selfhelp movements in the 70s . I did probably a lot of stephen where you cant leave the room for seven hours . There were other things. You werent allowed to go to the bathroom, everybody said things like that. Stephen was that true . Yes. Stephen did it help . I couldnt focus on anything if i had to go to the bathroom. I understand. But they have adapted the organizations over time, but, you know, the thing that was really valuable for me is i realized i wanted to investigate my life. What was really important to is the unexamined life is not worth living and i wanted to understand myself better and it was the thing that brought me into therapy and helped me tremendously because i wanted to understand myself. Whenever i do a part, any character i play, i want to understand them psychologically and i knew i had to understand myself and i knew i didnt. Stephen youre doing a play now called the onewoman play. Its all the ways to say i love you here in new york city. Yourself. Does it get lonely . Its really lonely. And our brilliant director Lee Silverman placed the setting so theres no door, there is no escape. I cant get out until im done. Stephen would you if there was a door . You would like bleep im out of here . Can you say that . Stephen its okay for me to say it. No other show on cbs can say it. Theyre not going to bleep that, right . Theyre saying its c people. cheers and applause thank you for being here for my last show oh, my goodness. And goodbye. laughter stephen when youre doing a show by yourself, youve got no partner to play off of. You know, if its not going well, you cant blame anyone else. Thats exactly right. Stephen right. Its a very odd experience. Its the hardest thing ive ever done. I have been on stage bald, i have been on stage naked, but this is harder than that. Stephen why were you on stage naked . Just curious. He wants to come to see that play. Stephen im just curious, i was on stage naked once. You were . Stephen i was 19 years old. I was an extra in ken russell, the director, he was doing madam stephen and the beginning of it is in a whore house and he says i want somebody to run out on stage naked trying to get away from a night of pain and pleasure and they pointed at me and said you. And i said to myself, im 19, this isnt going to get any better in fact, it gets worse. Stephen not at all. Not at all. No . Stephen im imagining you naked now and youre lovely. Naked . Not at all. Stephen hold on this one really should have embarrassed you. laughter because you werent alone really . Stephen there were two of you. Oh, two of me . And this year, now, we should be stopping this conversation. Stephen no, cbs lets me talk about any of this stuff that i want. So you are in a cult. Very nice. Stephen i am, in the cbs cult. Yeah, we all worship a big eye. I know. laughter stephen thank you so much, judith light. The third season of transparent is now available on amazon prime video. Judith light, everybody. Well be right back with a performance by Jimmy Eat World. cheers and applause . My mother passed 2003, but she always told me i dont care if you turn out to be a great athlete or whatever but, phone ringing answering machine hi, leave a message after the beep. beep hey mom, this is larry. I just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. Love you. beep only twice a year and its here kohls lowest prices of the season. Save on levis tees for her just 6. 99 toddlers tops and bottoms only 4. 99 and on the big one bath towel. Youll get kohls cash too going on now at kohls. My sweethearts gone sayonara. This scarf all thats left to remem. What she washed this like a month ago the long lasting scent of gain flings [ on the road again, by Willie Nelson ] . On the road again . [ rear alert sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] . On the road again . . Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway . [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. Ah, im in there as katie. Ill call you later. Or. No i wont, ill text you, because what am i your dad . Dont stay out too late . Yea, just text me. This must be what Antonio Brown feels like when hes dancing in the end zone. Touchdown Antonio Brown [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he finally got katies number. . . . . [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] cheers and applause . . Oh, look. Another antiwrinkle cream in no hurry to make anything happen. Neutrogena . Rapid wrinkle repair works. In one week. With the. Fastest retinol formula available. Its clinically proven to work on fine lines and. Even deep wrinkles. One week . Works rapid wrinkle repair. And for dark spots, rapid tone repair. Neutrogena . See whats possible. Then we wad it up to make it nice and soft. Mmm, cushiony. And we can use less. Charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. It has comfort cushions you can see that are softer. And more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. Remember, thats charmin in there. No wasteful wadding im ted strickland, and i approve this message. I carried a rifle in iraq and afghanistan, so we wouldnt have to worry about terrorists using them here. But now rob portmans blocking common sense laws to stop terrorists and criminals from getting guns. Senator portman said no to background checks on all purchases. Even voted to allow people on the terrorism watch list to buy guns. Senator portman, i fought to keep america safe. Why wont you . Stephen and now, performing their new song sure and certain, ladies and gentlemen, Jimmy Eat World cheers and applause . . . . . . . The clever ways i try to change . Happen and pass, leaving me the same . Of course it must be Something Else . Leading questions i might ask myself . Sure and certain wander til were old . Lost and lurking . What you do works for a time until you drop . Without a warning sign if you keep going on like this . Ill be one more thing for you to miss . Sure and certain wander til were old . Lost and lurking . Sure and certain wander til were old . Lost and lurking . . . . . . . Ahhhahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhhahhh . Ahhhahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhhahhh . Ahhhahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhhahhh . Ahhhahhhahhhahhh ahhhahhhahhhahhh . . . . Sure and certain wander til were old . Lost and lurking stephen their 9th studio album, integrity blues, comes out on october 21 Jimmy Eat World, everybody well be right back. When youre close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment . If you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. With taltz, up to 90 of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. In fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. Do not use if you are allergic to taltz. Before starting you should be checked for tuberculosis. Taltz may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. Tell your doctor if you are being treated for an infection or have symptoms. Inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz. Including worsening of symptoms. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Nows your chance at completely clear skin. Just ask your doctor about taltz. Stephen thats it for the late show, everybody tune in tomorrow when my guests will be samantha bee, abby elliott, and asa butterfield. Greenfield and tig notaro. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org . Are you ready to have some fun . Feel the love tonight dont you worry bout . Where you come from its gonna be all right . Its the late, late show way from give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden cheers and applause . James hello, good evening, welcome to this, the late, late show, thanks for being here. Thanks for waiting up for us. A fun show for you tonight. Thanks, guys. Cheesier. Thank you so much. Have a seat. Were going to start tonight, thank you. Were going to start tonight. Were going to talk about gary johnson. You know gary johnson, the Third Party Libertarian candidate running for president. Now a lot of you right now, you may be thinking, you know, i dont really like trump or well, lets find out. Whos your favorite foreign leader. Who is my favorite. Any one of the continent, any country, name one foreign leader you respect and look up to. Anybody. I as with shimon peres. Im talking about living, go ahead. We have to do this, anywhere, any con nent. Name a foreign leader. I guess im having an aleppo moment in the former president of mexico type of. Im giving you the whole world, anybody in the world you like. James forget running for president. I am not sure gary johnson should be allowed to vote like gary johnson if you didnt know is in favor of legalizing marijuana and i think its clear that he has done a lot of personal research on this issue. Like he couldnt name one nobody would know. If i told you the Prime Minister of Trinidad And Tobago was carl bin ardi. Are you not going to go isnt their preem keith rolely. Now you are going to go this is the strangest interaction ive ever had in a mens bathroom. But garys excuse is he was having an aleppo moment if if you dont know a few weeks ago in another interview, he was famously stumped when he didnt know aleppo was a capitol in syria. And you know you have to have a lot of gaffes when your gary johnson and yo just pulled a gary johnson. laughter that is classic me. Now i think its safe to say were talking to a few more viewers here tonight because today is National Coffee day. So applause a guy down here yentd yeah imagine a lot of people at home are like i dont know what it is, i just cant get to sleep. Coffee shops all over the country celebrated by giving out free coffee. Now i want everyone, take a look under your seats, right now. Have a look under there. If anyone finds a blue pen, i dropped it at rehearsal. laughter what did you think we were going to have hot coffee under there . Heres the thing, coffee isnt just a delicious beverage, its in fact there are some baristas who make a living actually drawing art on the coffee, art like this. Which is amazing. Its not just unicorns, they can do portraits, landscapes, sports logos. In fact, the only things these baristas can never draw is the words im proud of you from their fathers mouth. laughter should we have a look and see tonight . cheers and applause in the orange room, hes an emmy nominated actor you know from new girl and the movies hello my name is dorris, the big shore, its always charming, the ever handsome Max Greenfield is here tonight. Hey, max, how are you . Look, this is. James hey, look at that guy. Excited to be here. James w todd is here. Wow. James it looks like todd had a coffee also, have you met before or firs time. Firs time. I found him in here. James amazing. We do that a lot. Is this the gift you give with the show. James no just trying to mix people up. We will leave you too it. Go for it, Max Greenfield, everybody. And in the red room, an emmy and Grammy Nominated comedian you know from the documentary tig notaro boyish girl interrupted, without question, i think, quite possibly, maybe the funniest person on the planet. We agree. Tig notaro is here, everybody. applause hey, how are you . Im great. James nice to see you. Its good to see you. James thanks for coming back to see us. Thanks for having me. James we always love having you. We would have you every da if you could. You only had me once, a year and a half ago. James thats not our you have been busy. Its true. James its true. Tig notaro, everybody. applause and in the blue room, a Grammy Nominated artist is here to perform a song from her highly anticipated brilliant new album, the flawless, the tal gented, are you all right, are you excited. Look at you. Who do you think it is going to be . No . James oh my we pretaped it last week. She is in new york. Have you come all the way to see. Yeah. James im so sorry. Regina spektor is here, everybody. cheers and applause its me. Im here. James look at this, how are you doing . How do you think im doing . James like. Whooo james i see for most people i would say thats great am but for you i wonder if thats just medium. Whatevs. James regina spektor, everybody. Are you ready . Hes reggie watt, im james corden. This, this is the late, late show, roll the titles. Captioning sponsored by cbs . The late, late show, oh, oh the late, late show . Oh, oh its the late, late show . Last night i posted this photo online just here as you can see of me and usain bolt. Him just totally ripping off my style, for some reason. But once again, i was stuck on what the caption could be. Yesterday. We, like its crazy. We have 37 million responses. To the show, yeah. It was trending, apparently we got a from cbs that said one in three people on the planet sent in a caption on the planet last night. Reggie that i believe. James isnt it amazing. It is incredible just how much, it has gone so far beyond anything we thought it could have ever. Reggie it is caption city james but i thought i would share some of our favorites with you here tonight. This is late late captions. . Late late captions. James all right. This first one comes from hanna k hansen. And she, her caption was, between the two of us we have nine gold medals. Factually true, guys, factually true. This next one came from tperr22 twitter. They put Cool Runnings remaining finally in the works. I dont know. Would you like to see that . Would you like i dont know. I just think it would be weird for usain bolt to play john candys role. This next one comes to us from randi bin onolsen on facebook. It says a visual definition of i dont know if that i dont know if thats fair because i dont think when you think about it, handsome and very handsome, are not exact opposites. If nik theyre, in a lane. Randi, you bitch. Up next, we have a caption from the bill dozenner 35, who on instagram suggested that moment you realize hes not your biological son. applause moving on. charlotte lx gave us this option. She put when you meet up with your tinder date and realize you have been kaft erred. I think if usain bolt turned up on my tinder date i would be thrilled. What is the opposite of a catfish . Reggie octosquid. That the opposite of catfish . You start with a dogsquid. Dogsquid. Reggie oh right, right, yeah. James either way, its not going to catch on as a thing. Heres another one from instagram, from user amies4man. Is that like a group of amies who are just looking for one man on craigslist. A group of amies. Wrote, nuts and bolt. How many amies does it take to come up with that. Next up, this suggestion from jheather. Wrote james, you look like a greek god, bolt, you look like a greek yogurt. James i will have you percent fat. Thank you very much. That was a compliment, thank you. Also on instagram, john r jew wrote ebony and rifery living in skin tight hosiery. Quite good, that. Ebony and ivory. . Live together. . In skin type . In the shadow. . Thats it. We cant afford any more. I think we can afford like 45 seconds, that was under 45 seconds, right. Reggie that is a parody. James we dont want to blow the music budget. This is how we do it. . This is how we do it. . James we get in so much trouble. Ellis on instagram wrote please read this on the show. Nice tries are. We ran out of time it was never going to oh. Reggie there was to way. James there was just no way it would ever happen. Better luck next time. Big shame, thanks to everyone who participated, that was late late captions. Now you can see more late late captions, in all our other videos on the youtube page and if you would like to come to the show in person just head to one iota. Com, click on the link that says the late, late show. 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