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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Last night, 14 candidates appeared to see who would be chosen as their partys president ial nominee. That was different from a collection of indistinguishable individual undergoing a much more skillbased shrek. Do we have anything from the forum . The twohour forum played out like political speed date, 14 republican candidates sharing a single stage in new hampshire. Jon a single stage the worst dinner production of cats ever looked like this. Senator ted cruz attended via satellite. What was so important he couldnt attend in person . In texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks. gunfire laughter jon are we sure thats grease . Perhaps some ejaculate from how much you love guns . By the way, you really need to add bacon to get americans to like guns . For gods sake, its not salad or medicine. Americans use guns for a lot of things coring apples, unclogging toilets, ear pierci piercing ah. Listen, gitter done i shouldnt complain about the the republican race. At least its

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Last night, 14 candidates appeared to see who would be chosen as their partys president ial nominee. That was different from a collection of indistinguishable individual undergoing a much more skillbased shrek. Do we have anything from the forum . The twohour forum played out like political speed date, 14 republican candidates sharing a single stage in new hampshire. Jon a single stage the worst dinner production of cats ever looked like this. Senator ted cruz attended via satellite. What was so important he couldnt attend in person . In texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks. gunfire laughter jon are we sure thats grease . Perhaps some ejaculate from how much you love guns . By the way, you really need to add bacon to get americans to like guns . For gods sake, its not salad or medicine. Americans use guns for a lot of things coring apples, unclogging toilets, ear pierci piercing ah. Listen, gitter done i shouldnt complain about the the republican race. At least its

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

iraqi accent oh, these Boston Red Sox are oh, boy. Thats right. But the defeat of Saddam Hussein may be but the appetizer on a banquet of american whoopass. Though the United States military has digested and passed an entire middle eastern country its maw hangs slack and drooling for more. Syria in particular has been the subject of much saber rattling among the hawks and the bush administration, or as theyre collectively known, the bush administration. [laughter] secretary of state Donald Rumsfeld has said he believes syria is harboring low level members of Saddam Husseins regime. When asked recently if syria was next after iraq, the secretary responded, it depends on peoples behavior. Certainly i have nothing to announce, a dark hint from rumsfeld, who is the only high Ranking Member of the United States government ever to speak entirely in dark hints. [laughter] deputy secretary of defense Paul Wolfowitz whose ideology is a wheelchair away from dr. Strangeloves, is also casting an e

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Kentucky Alison Lundergan grimes is running. Why do you not want to give an answer whether youre voting for president obama. Theres no ruluctancy. This is a matter of principle. Our constitution grants here in kentucky the Constitutional Rights for privacy at the ballot box. Jon my country tis of thee. No, you cannot see. [laughter] i would be voting as a right to privacy issue. Thats why they give you those stickers. [laughter] grimes principles stand is only undermined by her announcing lastvoted for health rea clinto. But thats different, health rea clinton is popular. Look democrats arent the only ones running from their party. Republicans are retreating on the culture wars. The fact is i support over the counter contraception. You supported a constitutional amendment on marriage. Do you still support that. When i was chairman of that committee it was the platform called for a federal marriage amendment and as chairman of the rnc, i stood for the platform. Im talking now about my p

Transcripts For WCAU Dateline NBC 20240622

Wanted the burglary staged. This is a guy who aspired to be a hit man. She was a sitting target. Reporter didnt that mean that you can now go out and charge them all with murder right then . I have no facts. Reporter so detectives lay a trap. The hunt. Trying to play cat and mouse. He was already really paranoid about being setup and he held up a note that says are you wired. Reporter will they catch their prey . You hold your breath. Um, the world kind of stops. Reporter you never think its going to be you. Oh, no, no, no, no. Reporter no. The young man is right. In fact, this is the kind of thing that just doesnt happen to anyone. No. Never. Never would have thought i would have ever seen anything like this. Reporter no. And not here. Not in this neighborhood. In this house. But certainly not, surely not, at the very moment when at least three policemen were just outside the front door and just over the backyard wall not more than 30 feet away. We had to be told a few times just to g

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