Youre very happy to be here youre very happy to be here [ light laughter ] welcome back to my terrible, awful, no good, very unfair week in office [ light laughter ] i got to tell you, folks, donnys not a happy president right now, no. [ laughter ] impeachment is heating up. The stock markets going down. And worst of all, nickelbacks mad at me. [ laughter ] not only that, the media has been very mean to me, very mean and very nasty [ laughter ] very mean, and very, very nasty. [ laughter ] they keep saying im unhinged. Which is completely untrue, because everyone knows that ive never been hinged [ laughter ] im like one of those folding accordion doors, folks you know the ones you find at a cheap massage parlor with the little magnets on the side [ light laughter ] just like that cheap massage parlor, you dont know whats going on inside, but you know its not good. [ laughter ] but anyway, ive learned my lesson this week dont ask ukraine for dirt on joe biden. [ light laughter ] thats w
[ light laughter ] welcome back to my terrible, awful, no good, very unfair week in office [ light laughter ] i got to tell you, folks, donnys not a happy president right now, no. [ laughter ] impeachment is heating up, the stock markets going down and worst of all, nickelbacks mad at me. [ laughter ] not only that, the media has been very mean to me, very mean and very nasty [ laughter ] very mean, and very, very nasty. [ laughter ] they keep saying im unhinged. Which is completely untrue, because everyone knows that ive never been hinged [ laughter ] im like one of those folding accordion doors, folks you know the ones you find at a cheap massage parlor with the little magnets on the side [ light laughter ] just like that cheap massage parlor, you dont know whats going on inside, but you know its not good. [ laughter ] but anyway, ive learned my lesson this week dont ask ukraine for dirt on joe biden. [ light laughter ] thats why today i asked china for dirt on joe biden. [ laughter
Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, trumps french faux pas. Plus stephen welcomes john mulaney. With a special appearance by jason segel. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen whoo hey cheers and applause there is nothing like there is nothing like a friday crowd, man. There is nothing like it in the world. cheers and applause theyre lit. Theyre electric. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert, everybody. cheers and applause its been a heck of a week. Its been an interesting five days. This week saw the oneyear anniversary of Donald Trumps election. Audience booo stephen give him a chance. laughter and were still learning new reasons why we shouldnt have done it. laughter for instance, we just learned was it today or yesterday . Yesterday. We just learned of this strange phone call that donald trump made the day a
Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, trumps french faux pas. Plus stephen welcomes john mulaney. With a special appearance by jason segel. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen whoo hey cheers and applause there is nothing like there is nothing like a friday crowd, man. There is nothing like it in the world. cheers and applause theyre lit. Theyre electric. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert, everybody. cheers and applause its been a heck of a week. Its been an interesting five days. This week saw the oneyear anniversary of Donald Trumps election. Audience booo stephen give him a chance. laughter and were still learning new reasons why we shouldnt have done it. laughter for instance, we just learned was it today or yesterday . Yesterday. We just learned of this strange phone call that donald trump made the day a
Using it in las vegas . Wr we begip todaytodays eye opener. Your worryour world ip. On the road regime. There are no guarantees there. We have a cloudier which everyone believes is unstable. We dont know what they will do. Now we know what the president does when it rains on his vacation. He tweets a lot. The president tweeted this about you. He told stories about neen battles and it was all a lie. He cried like a baby and begged forgiveness like a child. I will not be distracted by this bullying. The wind picked up. We saw glass shattering on a building. A tornado pulled through maryland Strong Enough to rip up trees and flip cars. Trees going down to the ground. I was like, thats a tornado. San antonio, texas, a man narrowly escaped his flooded suv thanks to senator firefighters and quick thinking. Hes okay, a little embarrassed being stuck out there. In florida, a sink hole making more homes unfit for habitation. A catastrophic event. Backpackers got too close to nature. They still