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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Stephen colbert. Togh hng rttom. Plus, stephen welcomes deusus and mero and musical guest jake isaac featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen thank you, friendly announcer lady. I never say thank you to her. Thats on me. Im sorry. Its been years now. Thank you, friendly announcer lady. I hope we meet some day. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It will be a while because we cant meet anybody right now. Too bad, we cant go for a walk. Happy first day of fall. Theres a crispness in the air, the leaves are changing, our nation is ravaged by a preventable disease due to our president s criminal negligence. So happy is a relative term. Its a mixed bag. But despite his historic shanking of the coronavirus response, yesterday in ohio, our Pumpkin Spice potus put a positive spin on things. We now know the disease. We didnt know it. Now we know it. It affects elderly

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170707

[ laughter ] thats right. James comey confirmed that the fbi is looking for links between President Trump and the russian government. But so far, the only missing link theyve found is eric. [ laughter ] james comey also said today that he has found no information that supports President Trumps tweets that former president Obama Wiretapped trump tower. Added comey, to be fair, the only place weve checked is hillarys emails. [ laughter and applause ] you cant check her emails enough. According to a new survey, only 43 of u. S. Voters can name a Supreme Court justice. Said one voter, hey, i tried to name one, but they wouldnt let me. [ laughter ] so [ cheers and applause ] a moscow zoo is suing a company that hired one of its raccoons to appear in a commercial, saying that when the animal returned, it was attracted to womens breasts. Or as mike pence calls it, a successful conversion. [ laughter and applause ] we fixed your raccoon. [ laughter ] President Trump met with microsoft found bi

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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170707

[ laughter ] thats right. James comey confirmed that the fbi is looking for links between President Trump and the russian government. But so far, the only missing link theyve found is eric. [ laughter ] james comey also said today that he has found no information that supports President Trumps tweets that former president Obama Wiretapped trump tower. Added comey, to be fair, the only place weve checked is hillarys emails. [ laughter and applause ] you cant check her emails enough. According to a new survey, only 43 of u. S. Voters can name a Supreme Court justice. Said one voter, hey, i tried to name one, but they wouldnt let me. [ laughter ] so [ cheers and applause ] a moscow zoo is suing a company that hired one of its raccoons to appear in a commercial, saying that when the animal returned, it was attracted to womens breasts. Or as mike pence calls it, a successful conversion. [ laughter and applause ] we fixed your raccoon. [ laughter ] President Trump met with microsoft found bi

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170321

Thats right. James comey confirmed that the fbi is looking for links between President Trump and the russian government. But so far, the only missing link theyve found is eric. [ laughter ] james comey also said today that he has found no information that supports President Trumps tweets that former president Obama Wiretapped trump tower. Added comey, to be fair, the only place weve checked is hillarys emails. [ laughter and applause ] you cant check her emails enough. According to a new survey, only 43 of u. S. Voters can name a Supreme Court justice. Said one voter, hey, i tried to name one, but they wouldnt let me. [ laughter ] so [ cheers and applause ] Hillary Clinton said during a speech on friday that she is ready to come out of the woods. Oh, thats cool. I wonder why . Oh, yeah, you got to get out of there [ laughter ] donald trump jr. Is in the woods. [ light laughter ] a moscow zoo is suing a company that hired one of its raccoons to appear in a commercial, saying that when t

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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170321

Thats right. James comey confirmed that the fbi is looking for links between President Trump and the russian government. But so far, the only missing link theyve found is eric. [ laughter ] james comey also said today that he has found no information that supports President Trumps tweets that former president Obama Wiretapped trump tower. Added comey, to be fair, the only place weve checked is hillarys emails. [ laughter and applause ] you cant check her emails enough. According to a new survey, only 43 of u. S. Voters can name a Supreme Court justice. Said one voter, hey, i tried to name one, but they wouldnt let me. [ laughter ] so [ cheers and applause ] Hillary Clinton said during a speech on friday that she is ready to come out of the woods. Oh, thats cool. I wonder why . Oh, yeah, you got to get out of there [ laughter ] donald trump jr. Is in the woods. [ light laughter ] a moscow zoo is suing a company that hired one of its raccoons to appear in a commercial, saying that when t

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