[telephone ringing] ill get it. Thanks. Hello . Oh, hi, honey. Well, gee, ii was just gonna rest a while. All right, ill be right in. There goes my nap. As soon as i get comfortable, my wife finds something for me to do. Thats why youll never see a horse with a wedding ring. [yawning] carol, did you want me . Oh, wilbur, i got the most wonderful idea from the decorators journal on how to rearrange all the furniture in our living room. Oh, my aching back. Honey, would you please move that couch over here, so itll face the fireplace . Carol, carol, please. Look, ii havent slept for 3 nights. I am worn out. Well, if you dont want to help me, just say so. Ok, i dont want to help you. Honey, itll only take a minute. [sighs] ok. [yawning] youll never see a horse wearing a wedding ring. Huh . Oh, nothing, nothing. [groans] you both have a perfect driving record. Perfect. No tickets. No accidents. That is until one of you clips a food truck, ruining your perfect record. Yup. Now, you would thi
Groundhog day, gee. Groundhog day knock on door mister ed . Uh, no. Come in. Hes in there. In there . Yeah, go ahead and sing. Ahem for hes a jolly good fellow for hes a jolly good fellow for hes a jo. Well, wheres mister ed . Thats him. A horse . Ive been singing to a horse . Its his birthday. Birthday . For hes a jolly good fellow for hes a jolly good fellow humming heres a couple of bucks for you. Well, ah, thanks, mister. Yes, youre. Youre quite welcome. Thank you very much. And let me know when your dog has a birthday. And happy birthday, horsey. Well, ed, did i remember your birthday . Yeah, but you forgot my gift. Oh, youre a tough customer. What do you buy for a horse who has everything . Well, i just happened to have a catalogue. We cant have the Club Luncheon in her garden. Her child came down with chicken pox. Oh, thats too bad. I hope hes all right. Mmmhmm. Mildred hinted for me to have the Club Luncheon in my backyard, but you know how addison worries about his precious di
[mac] well, hector, it looks like a beauty contest. Oh, boy bikinis havent been invented yet. Well, what is it, shad, some kind of a contest . Choose a girl once a year. So far mlor not win. Well thats ridiculous, mlor makes these girls look like two cents worth of ground mastodon meat. Gronk not sure if want daughter mlor to win. Oh, you say that now, but once she wins youll be telling everybody her good looks come from your side of the family. somber woodwind music pick straws . Thats a heck of a way to run a beauty contest. To pick miss cave girl of one million b. C. . [boss] mlor get long stick. Mlor win cheering whatd i tell you, miss shad . Mlor win mean will be sacrifice to dinosaur. Oh, sacrifice to a dinosaur. subdued orchestral music i dont believe it. You mean they actually put a girl out in the jungle to get eaten by a dinosaur every year . Well, i wish i didnt believe it, but i do. They seem to think that a sacrifice will keep the dinosaurs away from the village for the re
And well give them a hand. No. I promised linda id watch madeline. And it just wouldnt be fair to pass her on to the neighbors. Why not . We can both take turns watching her, until the kids old enough to get married. Honey, ive got a thousand things to do. Will you move the crib upstairs while i fix the formula . Well. Thats a good boy. I. If that baby thinks that shes gonna steal wilbur away from me, [humming] and down will come baby cradle and all carol wilbur [crying] [cooing] shh, baby. [bawling] what happened . It sounded like an earthquake. Youre close, winnie. It was hurricane wilbur. Well, its not my fault. My wifes carpet sweeper was doubleparked. Give the little angel to me. winnie ah, there. There, sweetie. [baby crying] nothing like the sound of a baby to brighten a home. Dont cry, honey. Here, look at the colonel. [stops crying] i wonder what made her stop crying. Women of all ages find me irresistible. From diapers to bikinis. [crying] [stops crying] [crying] well, theres
Ben Hecht was a prolific and entertaining journalist in Chicago in the early 1900s before becoming an Oscar-winning screenwriter (his scripts were nominated for six Oscars), and “A Child of