[telephone ringing] ill get it. Thanks. Hello . Oh, hi, honey. Well, gee, ii was just gonna rest a while. All right, ill be right in. There goes my nap. As soon as i get comfortable, my wife finds something for me to do. Thats why youll never see a horse with a wedding ring. [yawning] carol, did you want me . Oh, wilbur, i got the most wonderful idea from the decorators journal on how to rearrange all the furniture in our living room. Oh, my aching back. Honey, would you please move that couch over here, so itll face the fireplace . Carol, carol, please. Look, ii havent slept for 3 nights. I am worn out. Well, if you dont want to help me, just say so. Ok, i dont want to help you. Honey, itll only take a minute. [sighs] ok. [yawning] youll never see a horse wearing a wedding ring. Huh . Oh, nothing, nothing. [groans] you both have a perfect driving record. Perfect. No tickets. No accidents. That is until one of you clips a food truck, ruining your perfect record. Yup. Now, you would think your Insurance Company would cut you some slack, right . No. Your insurance rates go through the roof. Your perfect record doesnt get you anything. Anything. Perfect for drivers with accident forgiveness, due to your first accident. And if you do have an accident, our claim centers are available to assist you 24 7. For a free quote, call Liberty Mutual at switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509 call today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Carol . Hi, paul. Hi, sweetie pie, how are ya . Wheres wilbur . Is he out in his office . What oh, isnt that interesting. Shes using wilbur for a doily. Its very original, but i dont think he matches the drapes. [sighs] wilbur hmm oh dont you think so . Yes, but he clashes with the wallpaper. Oh. [groans] oh. Iii must have dddozed off. Oh, its those noisy neighbors we have. I havent slept for 3 nights. Neither has anybody else in this neighborhood. I came down to spend a quiet week with my sister and its like living in a in a penny arcade. Ill help you, carol. Wilbur, ive drawn up this petition, so we can do something about it. Here, sign it. All right. Uh, aat the bottom. At the bottom, yeah. This is a pleasure, you know. Boy, they have some nerve. We whoa youve got more signatures here than there are people in the neighborhood. Well, some of the people were so mad they signed it twice. Smart idea. If theres anything i cant stand, its neighbors who are thoughtless. Yeah, neither can i. So give me back my pen. Im sorry. Im so sleepy i dont know what im doing, really. On account of those neighbors, i havent done a bit of work all day. Oh, id like to tell them off. Give me that petition. I am gonna deliver this personally, right now thats the old pepper in there. I shouldve done this after the first night. You know, you can only push me so far, and then watch out. Somebody should go along with him. He might get into a fight. Hey, thats a great idea. Ill do the dishes while youre gone, you tiger, you. Oh, come, paul, youre such a fool. Go on, brother dear. Go on. Hey, hey, wilbur. Remember, dont lose your temper. After all, we hardly know anything about these people. We know theyre noisy. Oh. I dont know why youre backing down so suddenly. I mean, this whole petition was your idea. Yes, but it was your idea to deliver the petition in person. Uh, ive got a better idea. Why dont we just slip it under the door and run . If youre scared, get behind me. Scared . Who, me . Oh. [doorbell ringing] yes . How do you do . I represent a committee for we have a c its a committee we have a. Yes, why . Ooh. Allow me to introduce myself. Im paul fenton, a neighbor of yours. How do you do . And im wilbur post, also a neighbor. All right. As a matter of fact, our backyards touch each other. How romantic. You said you are from some kind of a committee . Yes, uh, its a its a welcoming committee. Uh, oh, this is just an informal visit. The, uh, the cake and champagne will come later. Thats very sweet of you boys. Wouldnt you come in, please . Yes. Sure. We can only stay an hour or 2. This paper, is that for me . Yes no no, no, i mean, this is a little speech we wrote. But after seeing you, what is there to say but welcome to the neighborhood. When i rented this house, i didnt know its going to be such a mishmash. And with my maid gone for a week, i really dont know what i would have done without you boys. Wed have been here sooner if wed have known your predicament. Where do you want this, zsa zsa . Willy, darling, why dont you put it right over there to the fireplace . [laughs] ok. Im so lucky to have such wonderful neighbors. Where do you want this, zsash . Is that too heavy to take it upstairs to my bedroom . Nah say the word, ill have it up on the roof. Be careful, darling, careful. Its a matter of balance, you know. Careful, darling. [groaning] ill put it on the stairs while were all. Ii careful oh, ohh. [yelling] [crashes] [doorbell rings] paul fenton what are you doing . I was just mopping the floor. zsa zsa paul, darling . Paul, darling . zsa zsa hello. Ohoh, zsash ii mean, zsa zsa. I mean, miss gabor, uh, this is my, uh. My, uh. My, uh. Sister, remember . Oh, oh, yes, my sister, kay. Hello. Zsa zsa gabor what a surprise. So youre our new neighbor. Only temporarily. I took this place for a month or 2. wilbur ive got it. Ive got it, zsash. Hi, carol carol . Willy, willy darling, are you hurt . No, no, im im all right, zsash. I mean, zsa zsa. I mean try noisy neighbor. How do you do . Carol, this is miss gabor. And id like you to meet pauls sister, kay. Hello. Kay, this is miss gabor. Youve met paul. Yes, of course. Paul is kays brother. Yes. Have you met carol . Yes, thank you. Several times. zsa zsa i think its a wonderful idea, this welcoming committee. Welcoming committee . Yes. [telephone ringing] excuse me. Ill be back. [titters] shes kidding. Hello . Zsa zsa, this is jack brady. Have you changed your mind, sweetheart, about doing that movie for my company . No, no, no, not if i have to ride a horse. You know im deadly afraid of horses. Look, i ride anything. I ride a train, a hotrod, a yacht, a boat. I only ride things with a motor inside of it. Goodbye. That silly man. I keep on telling him i dont want to make his horse picture. Im not a cowsgirl. Im zsa zsa gabor, im not wild bill buffalo. Theyre great animals. I used to feel the very same way you do, until we got our mister ed. Hes smarter than most men. Who cares about smart horses . I feel much safer on a stupid yacht. Uh, i dont want to sound personal, miss gabor, but wont you be losing a lot of money by turning down this picture . Yes, but what else can i do . Look, why dont you drop by the house and meet our horse . Id like to show you how gentle and friendly these animals can be. Thank you very much. But i dont want to put you both through too much trouble. Oh, no. No trouble at all. I mean, after all, what are welcoming committees for . [both laugh] hi, ed. Hi. Im going to spruce you up a little. Zsa zsa gabor is coming over to see you. Whos he . Its not a he. Its a she. With a capital she. Miss gabor is one of the most glamorous stars in hollywood. Uhhuh how many . 2. Not interested. Ed, i want you to be on your best behavior today. See, miss gabor is deathly afraid of horses, so i want you to be real friendly. Ok. The minute she walks in, ill jump in her arms. carol wilbur, miss gabor is here. Tell her to come right in, dear. Look, i want you to be extra nice. Dont do anything that might make her nervous. Ohh hold still sheesh right in here, miss gabor. Thats mister ed, right in there. [chomping] hey, miss gabor. So this is mister ed. Yeah, wont you come and meet him . No, thank you. If you dont mind, ill just stay here and wave at him. Hello. Hello, horse. Is he a natural blonde . Goodness gracious, most women spend a fortune at beauty shops to get what hes born with. [all laugh] may i take your coat . One minute, please. Oh, yes. Dont be afraid of him. No, ill try not to be. zsa zsa thank you oh, my what a beautiful mink id better take it inside and hang it up before it gets dirty. Be right back. Thank you very much. Oh, here you are. Thank you. Now, the first thing is to let a horse know that you like him. Wont you come a little bit closer, huh . Thank you. Dont be afraid, miss gabor. Hes all right. Look at those great big brown eyes, huh . Are you sure hes not going to bite me . Oh, no. Youll never see a gentler horse than ed. You know, he reminds me very much of prince bandini. He has the same type of a nose, except the prince has a bump. [snorts] ahhh he growled at me [laughs] oh, no, thats just eds way of saying hello. Ed, bow for the lady. [laughs] bravo he has wonderful manners. You know, i dont seem to be so afraid of him. Willy, i would like to ask you a favor. You know, it would mean a great deal to me if i could do that picture. Well, what can i do for you . Do you think it would be possible for me to come over here a couple of afternoons and sit on the horse, so i get accustomed to him . wilbur oh, of course. And to make sure hes nice and soft, before you get here, ill stuff him with hay. Now dont make too much noise, anybody. I dont want mister ed to be nervous on his first day with me. Come on, boris, bring the ladder, please. Helen, you hold his back end, and marie, you hold his front end. Ok, thank you. Now, mister ed, please behave yourself. Girls, hold him quietly on both ends. Look, everybody i am sitting on a horse thank you, thank you. Oh, its so nice up here. Now, come on, kids, what are we waiting for . Come on. Eddie, thats my good, beautiful, blonde horse. Thats a good, beautiful horse. There, my dear. Thank you, dear. Now give one for mister eddie. Well now, what was the letter i wanted to dictate to you this morning . Oh, yes, its meant for the tiffanys jewelers in new york. Gentlemen, darlings last month, an acquaintance of mine sent me a beautiful pair of diamond earrings for my birthday from your shop. I would very much appreciate if you would make up a matching necklace for my next birthday, which will be, incidentally, in about 2 weeks. [telephone ringing] hello . A transatlantic call from the duke of morovia. Oh, the duke . Tell him to call me back when hes a king. Marie, darling, the perfume, please. There, thank you. Im going to give a little perfume to mister ed. [all laughing] huh look at him. Hes smiling he likes it [telephone ringing] hello . Mr. Post . This is jack brady of brady productions. I want to thank you for all the help youve given zsa zsa. Shes really fallen in love with that horse of yours. Oh, i was sure she would. Well, no, no. I. I dont mind zsa zsa riding ed in the picture. What . Youre shooting the picture in australia . Thats right. Well be gone for. Oh, at least 6 months. Now, im willing to pay 5,000 for that horse of yours. I couldnt sell ed. Uh, uh, look, were sailing tomorrow at 4 00. And ive already promised zsa zsa wed buy him. 5,000. Uh, please, think it over. Please well, all right, but, uh, i wont change my mind. wilbur ed is not for sale. Goodbye. [telephone disconnecting] 5,000 is a lot of money. I cant let him turn it down. [birds chirping] how do you like that, paul . Zsa zsas producer wanted to buy ed. Of course, i turned him down. Naturally. How much did he offer . 5,000. 5,000 . And you turned him down . Well, ed is like one of the family. Well, so is addison, but for 5,000 id send him to australia. Wilbur, dont be a fool. You call up that producer ed, what are you doing . Packing my gear and extra shoes. Im leaving. Where are you going . Well, uh, zsa zsa wants me to go to australia with her. Zsa to australia . Ed, ddo you want to go . Ii mean, andand leave me . If i dont hitch my wagon to a star, somebody hitches a wagon to me. Well, ififif thats thats the way you feel about it. Thats the way i feel. Oh, well, ed, then ii guess this is goodbye. But youll be seeing me soon, wilbur, on that big screen in glorious color. Oh, i sure miss you, ed. Well, at least i can still listen to your voice. Nobody sang pretty little filly the way you did. ed hi, wilbur. By the time you hear this, ill be on my way to australia. I didnt really want to leave you, buddy boy, but 5,000 is a lot of money, and i know you can use it. [ed sniffling] ii hope carol likes the mink coat. Ill never forget you. Your old stablemate, ed. [ship horn blaring] miss gabor, we cant possibly put this horse in a stateroom. Please this is not a horse. This is my costar. Zsa zsa, its regulations. All livestock has to travel in the hold. Not my mister eddie. I wont let them treat you like an animal. If he travels in the hold, i travel in the hold. And i refuse to travel in the hold. Miss gabor, please be reasonable. I am being reasonable. Look, im not asking you to put him up at the captains table. All i want him to have a comfortable cabin, so he can live like a human being. Forgetting the rules, miss gabor, we dont have any accommodations. Then he is going to sleep with mr. Brady. Now just a minute, zsa zsa. Im taking ed back what are you talking about . We made a deal. Well, i changed my mind. See, i thought my wife wanted a mink coat, but shed rather have ed. Listen, ive got a fortune sunk in this picture. Zsa zsa says she wont make it without your horse. If you pull him out now, ill sue you for every penny youve got, i promise you. Who says i wont make that picture without this horse . You said it oh, if you listen to me, youll go crazy. I can ride any horse in australia. And if it has to be, ill ride a kangaroo goodbye, mr. Wilbur and goodbye, my sweet darling mister ed i have a secret for you. You are much sweeter than my prince. It isnt difficult, either. [both laugh] goodbye, miss gabor. Bon voyage. Merci. Come on, ed. [sighs] well, you really cured her fear of horses. [laughs] yeah, and she cured my fear of hungarians. Ah, come on home, ed. And jane wyatt, with elinor donahue, billy gray, and Lauren Chapin in father knows best. But mommy, all the kids would laugh at me if i wore this dress to school