Donald trump claims he didnt watch the hearings yesterday. And yet even though he didnt watch, this morning at 6 54 a. M. He wrote, representative radcliff asked the two star witnesses, where is the impeachable offenses. That would be the end of the case run by normal people, but not shifty, shifty is what he calls adam shift, but i guess hes not a normal person. You know normal, like the person who asks a porn star to spank him. A normal person. Like you, guillermo. Ngs that yothank you, jimmy,. Jimmy and after weeks of demanding to know the whistleblowers identity, he tweeted wheres the fake whistleblower . Is the whistle itself not real . We dont know. Neither of us know. He puts the word fake in front of everything now. Everything is fake except for his tan, thats real. Which might be the case [cheers and applause] my favorite headline of the day today. Frustrated trump allies urge him to stop talking about himself. Oh, yeah. Good luck with that. While youre at it, try to urge him
Hey announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, quid pro quo. Plus, stephen welcomes mark ruffalo and mew cal guest thom yorke and jon batiste and stay human. Live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen well, there you are there it is fun for the whole family hello, friends how are you . Hello, john, whats going on . Were going to make it happy thursday cheers and applause hey, everybody oh, my friends welcome whoo cheers and applause oh, my gosh its like warming yourself beside a roaring fire, john. Jon thats right. Stephen welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Seem l talking about yesterdays live televised impeachment hearings, including me, and ill tell you all about it in tonights don and the giant impeach. Its all a hoax. Its a scam. Stephen yesterday, the acting u. S. Ambassador to ukraine, bill taylor, testified that a staffer overheard President Trump on a phone call discu
Democratic primary is an option under uber pool. [ laughter ] amid speculation that he could become a scapegoat, Rudy Giuliani said in a new interview that he is confident President Trump will remain loyal to him in the impeachment inquiry. Responded trump, you can count on it, randy. [ laughter ] the Trump Administration has proposed a new measure that could nearly double the cost of applying for american citizenship. Man, just be glad people still want to come here. I mean, this is like blockbuster raising its rental fees now. [ laughter ] according [ cheers and applause according to new data, senator Bernie Sanders poll numbers in iowa and New Hampshire have improved since he suffered a heart attack last month, and when he heard that, Steve Bullock started eating fistfuls of bacon. [ laughter and applause a new article has been published detailing how senator Bernie Sanders has been trying to lead a healthier lifestyle. Like, for example, he switched to the 1 . [ laughter and applau
Of being responsible for saving daylight. Its time for daylight to learn to save itself. Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] yes, we got an extra hour of sleep, but we also got an extra hour of donald trump being president of the united states. Id like to set my calendar ahead a year. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] as of today were one day short of a year from the next president ial election. Interesting fact. At this point in 2015 a year ahead of the election you know who the republican frontrunner was . For real. Dr. Ben carson. [ laughter ] and then he woke up and it was all just a dream and then he went back to sleep. But at the white house today the president played host to the world series champion washington nationals. It was a little bit confusing. He was under the impression he was hosting white nationalists, not the nationals. [ laughter ] oh, its a baseball team. Thats nice. As players have been known to odo the nationals brought the president a jerzy. But not the usu
Tonight, join jimmy and his guests chris evans, naomie scott musical guest, earthgang and featuring the legey roots crew questlove 1149 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause that is a hot crowd. Welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, to the tonight show, baby. [ cheers and applause oh, my goodness. You guys, my guest tonight is chris evans. Thats right [ cheers and applause and right now even chris pine, Chris Hemsworth and chris pratt are like, wait, which one is he again . [ light laughter ] i want to say congratulations to the 50,000 runners who finished yesterdays new York City Marathon [ cheers and applause i love the marathon. Its the one day of year you can rub vaseline on your nipples in public and not get arrested [ laughter ] i cant imagine the excitement of finishing a marathon, for real i mean i get excited when im out running errands and i accidentally get 10,000 steps. Im like, oh, my. Yes [ laughter ] im