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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240711

Personal friend barack, as he has asked me not to call him, president obama. Well, it turns out the president and i had so much to talk about, we actually couldnt fit it all in one show. I mean, we could have, but that would have meant more time with an american icon, and fewer commercials for nasal decongestant and obviously no one wants that. So in the great tradition of this postthanksgiving season, tonight, im going to serve up some delicious leftovers, in what im calling a late shows chockablockabarack obamarama extravagama as you know, the former president has been making the rounds recently to promote his new book, a Promised Land. Its the story of Barack Obamas first 27 months as president , and, at almost 800 pages, it will take most people 27 months to finish. Its the first memoir meant to be read in realtime. My favorite part about a Promised Land is that, just like most books, on the dust jacket, its got a little author bio barack obama was the 44th president of the United

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Hello, im sam water ston. You may recognize me from law order, or my personal pasta sauces where none of the money goes to charity. Tonight i will be your guide as we look at the the late show with Stephen Colberts 2020 Campaign Coverage. And while this will be a collection of some of the best moments from the late show, i assure you this is not some silly best of show. It is something much more important. Tonight, we fulfill a cotractual obligation to the network. We begin with some of colberts best monologues from the democratic primary. First, of course, the opening credits. Its a late show with Stephen Colbert 2020 Campaign Coverage special. Plus the best of candidat monologues, the best of candidate interviews and Campaign Field pieces. And Sam Waterston eating a giant sandwich. And now live on a burch of tapes from the ed sullivan theater, its Stephen Colbert trumps days are numbered. At least for his first term, because were getting closer and closer to the next president ial el

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Bark. One more thing does it remind you of something . Reminds you of this, right . With Stephen Colbert tonight, social distancing, plus stephen welcomes trevor noah, and musical guests willie, lukas and micah nelson, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody. Welcome to a late show. I am still your host Stephen Colbert. My crew is still one of my children. Tonight it is my son john. Hello, john. Havebe ltht. Youre not micd. Hello stephen there you go. John is doing his homework right now. Hes in high school about to graduate. What homework are you doing now . Im reading beloved by toni morrison. Stephen beloved by toni morrison. Is it funny . I dont know. It could be a kneeslapper. Im ignorant. How many pages are on . Um, page four. Stephen page four maybe its all set up, maybe theres a punchline coming up on the next page. I hope you had a lovely weekend. Actually, i hope you had a weekend because that

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Happening. Plus, stephen welcomes former National Security advisor john bolton. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen got your props ready . All the props for our prop comedy show were going to do . Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were a little over four months from the president ial election, and things are not looking great for donald trump. Hes trailing biden by double digits in polls by cnn and cnbc. Hes even down by 12 points in a fox news poll. Ooh, you know it hurts more when you get the news from someone you love. The only way it could have been worse is if he found out from the bottom of a chicken bucket. Trump is so far behind, that according to the hill, there is no plausible scenario where trump would lose the National Popular vote by the kind of margin currently projected, yet why would you say that, you idiots i gotta knock on wood. Its aged in oak. Trumps still stinging from th

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Fire. Does it remind you of something . Reminds you of this, right . Bark. One more thing does it remind you of something . Reminds you of this, right . Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, ocial distancing, plus stephen welcomes trevor noah, and musical guests willie, lukas and micah nelson, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody. Welcome to a late show. I am still your host Stephen Colbert. My crew is still one of my children. Tonight it is my son john. Hello, john. You have to be louder than that. Youre not micd. Hello stephen there you go. John is doing his homework right now. Hes in school about to graduate. What homework are you doing now . Im reading beloved by toni morrison. Stephen beloved by toni morrison. Is it funny . Not very. Stephen i havent read it. I dont know. It could be a kneeslapper. How many pages are on . Um, page four. Stephen page four maybe its all set up, m

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