Yes get. I knOw. AwesOme. Thank yOu. In all hOnesty, thIs success Is gettIng kInd Of bOrIng. Happy mOnday, everyOne. SO thIs frIdayIn, JOker TwO arrIves In Theaters and Its abOut a Mentally Ily Mn Man WhO TerrOrIzes SOcIety wIth hIs mentally unstable female sIdekIck. Terr Or but mOsT Of yOu have alreas seen It. Yeah, yOu saw thaT One cOmIng. That was after The crOwds lIke, Oh, here we gO. GO earlIer tOday, presIdent bIden delIvered remarks On The devastatIOn caused by hurrIcane aIleen helene. He cOmfOrted vIctImsd re by Theh Of hOw he Once survIved a flOOd In an are c. RepOrtedly, TIm Walz Is nervOus abOut tOmOrrOws. TOmOrrOw nIghts vIc E PresIdent Ial debate. He has been thIs nervOus sInce that tIme. He ran OuT Of tampOn al debats. TampOn Jen PsakI tOld yOung dOug that he has, quOte, reshaped The perceptIOn Of masculInIty. Thats true. Back In The Old days, a guy lIke that mIght have talked The Nann A Quy KeepIng The baby. Ke Oh. ArcheOlOgIsts In chIna have a 3600 year Old mummy that w
You, you fIlthy people. I know what youre thInkIng. Happy wednesday, everyone. ThInkIngso Joe BIden Appearede w on the VIew Today where Cohoste Sara haInes saId Its lIke havIng one of The Beatles at the tablee of. True I true. If youre talkIng about georgere or john, Its not more lIke yoko. Kamala harrIs wIll vIsIt the southern border on frIday. St she saId shes lookIng forward to fInally meetIng justIn shu. Ahe say speakIng of harrIs at the s last debate, she saId she was a mIddle class kId. Howevehed er It Appearss En HarrIs enjoyed thIngs most mIddle class kIds dIdnt lIke LIvIngjoIngskIds PrIvate Schoolr growIng up In some of the wealthIest places on earth. Jo the only thIng she dIdnt enjoy was a nanny. UnlIkeanI. Her husband, wrong way. Or that was a long way for a cheap joke. Youre welcome, amerIca. New Cdc Data shows. That us ObesIty Rates have fallen for the fIrst tIme even for. But just lIke the crIme statIstIcs, the cdc left out the cItIes new orleans, Los Angeles and the vIew
YEEss, yEs. All Right. Ill takE it for now. It, happy mOnday, EvEryOnE. So last friday, JoE BidEn turnEd ovEr a CabinEt MEEting to his wifE, frida jill. If thats not bad Enough, hE thEn put huntEr in chargE of thE MEdicin NE and. All Right. VicE prEsidEnt will skip this yEars Al Smith Charity dinnEr. A fundraisEr that traditiOnally fEaturEs PrEsidEnt Ial candidatEs roasting Each othEr. YEp. ShE pullEd out at thE last minutE. Ifs PrEsidEnt Ial Only husband ha thE samE with thE nanny. D ha tErriblE. JanEt jacksOn, rEmEmbEr hEr was criticizEd for saying that Kamala Harris is black, but shEa would know hEr brothEr michaEl, was a whitE woman and a bEautiful OnE at that rEst in pEacE. Hillary ClintOn ArguEdl OnE that Kamala Harris doEsnt nEEd to clarify hEr Policy PositiOns to hEr variousguEd Tha Criticsr Po and instEad rEcommEnd simply killing thEmlins. ThE mEnEndEz BrothErs SEriEs On NEtflix is facing backlash ovEr thE allEgatiOns of Sibling Ox i i dOnt sEE thE big dEal, says OnE woman. I
Stay. YeS. All right. YeS. YeS. Let not yOur be troubled. Troubl ItS fridaedy So you know meanS what that meanS. LetS welcome tonightS gueSt. SheS wItneSSe, S welcomS more n a caShier at a waffle houSe. HoSt Of outtake thiS morning. Charlie arnott got three thingS wrong. If It SeemS like heS judging you, thatS hiS jOf Itb. ThatS comedian vidS auguSt. Her huSband tried to convince bd her that talking iS bad for the baby. New york timeS beSt Selling Authorfor the baby. EStSell foxr kat timpf. And you need Sir Edmund See he haS dandruff. New york timeS beSt Selling author, comedian and formeff. R N World Champion tyron. All right, all right. All right. Ge right. All right. Before we get to Some newS StorieS, letS d So thiS. GregS leftoverS. Yeah, ItS leftoverS where i read jokeS. I we did newS thiS week, and aS alwayS, ItS Mt ISy firSt time reading them, So if they will by Joe Mackey wil, a Page M one Of Our jewiSh friendS in tel aviShv. Terrible Comedian ChriS Rock juSt endorSed Kamala H
All right. Hey. All r yeahig, right now its, just me. Its me and you. Happy thursday, everyone. Y by now, yoU Probably saw a great interview with donaldr trump. Amazing, right . Grea. Right after the Show felt like i a hezbollah fighter, my phone was blowing up fel that that. But its true. In lebanon, thousands of pages and phones exploded, killings dozens of terrorists. We reached out to hezbollah leaders, but they haventhezbol returned our callsla. So President Trump was a huge hIt On the Show last night. My favorite part, of course, was the Secret Service down. H turns out i was happy to see them. Now, weve officially asked kamala to appear on our Show. Weve already promised a boxised of wine for her and an assortment of nannies for her husban boxd. Theyll probably abort it. Oh abort, the Show. No, im talking about the Show. A all right. A chinese Zoo Admittedin that their Pandaseir Pa actually painted dognds. They got the idea for a Makeup Artist at. Ide The View in your face. Rapp