Guest Host Shaquille Oneal tonight, mila kunis, from criminal minds, aisha tyler, and music from ty dolla ign featuring yg. And now, heres Shaquille Oneal [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] welcome to jimmy kimmel i am your guest host tonight. Shaquille oneal. [ cheers and applause ] thats right. Tonight, abc goes from blackish to shaqish. [ laughter ] before we get started, i have one rule tonight. If you dont laugh, ill kick your ass. [ laughter ] got it . That goes for you too, galaremo. Its guillermo. Whatever. [ laughter ] for those of you wondering where jimmy is, hes right here. [ laughter ] he was delicious. And he will be missed. [ belches ] all right. [ cheers and applause ] lets do a monologue. Do you guys like impressions . Thats too bad. Because i dont do that. [ laughter ] hosting a late night show is a new thing for me. Its like when Michael Jordan decided to play baseball, except [ laughter and applause ] i have all the things you need to host this show. A
Today is take your enormous children to work day. [ laughter ] we had to put them in the back row so they dont block any of the cameras. [ laughter and applause ] thanks for being here. Love you guys. Speaking of kids, you know how every year jimmy has parents pretend they ate all their kids halloween candy . If you havent seen it before, it goes like this. Last night, we ate all your candy. Why . Because it was good. You ruined my life we ate all your halloween candy. [ stomping ] mommy and i last night, we were watching a movie and we ate all of your candy. No here, step up, look at it again. All gone. I got really, really hungry, and i ate all your halloween candy while you were at school. How . What do you mean how . I ate it. I dont want to see you ever again. Now go get a job. [ laughter and applause ] im sorry, but thats hilarious. Well guess what, the youtube challenge is happening again this year. If you want to be a part of it, heres what you do. After your kids trickortreat,
And music from ty dolla ign featuring yg. And now, heres Shaquille Oneal [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] welcome to Jimmy Kimmel Live. Im not jimmy kimmel. I am your guest host tonight. Shaquille oneal. [ cheers and applause ] thats right. Tonight, abc goes from blackish to shaqish. [ laughter ] before we get started, i have one rule tonight. If you dont laugh, ill kick your ass. [ laughter ] got it . That goes for you too, galaremo. Its guillermo. Whatever. [ laughter ] for those of you wondering where jimmy is, hes right here. [ laughter ] he was delicious. And he will be missed. [ belches ] all right. [ cheers and applause ] lets do a monologue. Do you guys like impressions . Thats too bad. Because i dont do that. [ laughter ] hosting a late night show is a new thing for me. Its like when Michael Jordan decided to play baseball, except im going to be good at this. [ laughter and applause ] i have all the things you need to host this show. A suit, a band, and a stupid
Featuring yg. And now, heres Shaquille Oneal [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] welcome to Jimmy Kimmel Live. Im not jimmy kimmel. I am your guest host tonight. Shaquille oneal. [ applause ] thats right. Tonight, abc goes from blackish to shaqish. Before we get started, i have one rule tonight. If you dont laugh, ill kick your ass. Got it . That goes for you too, galaremo. Its guillermo. Whatever. For those of you wondering where jimmy is, hes right here. He was delicious. And he will be missed. [ belches ] all right. [ applause ] lets do a monologue. Do you guys like impressions . Thats too bad. Because i dont do that. Hosting a late night show is a new thing for me. Its like when Michael Jordan decided to play baseball, except im going to be good at this. [ laughter and applause ] i have all the things you need to host this show. A suit, a band, and a stupid, notalent nemesis. Jimmy has matt damon, i have charles barkley. Hes like a balder, fatter matt damon. As you may
Ill clean this up later. Alice from hollywood its Jimmy Kimmel Live with special guest host dave grohl tonight kristen bell, alice cooper and our 12th annual half and half halloween pageant. And now welcome to my nightmare. Heres dave grohl [ cheers and applause ] dave woo [ cheers and applause ] happy halloween, everybody. Tonight, Dave Letterman rules. Yes, im dave grohl dressed as Dave Letterman in for jimmy kimmel. Its confusing, i get it. Especially if youre home right now watching, stoned to the bone. And just like dave, i would like to announce my retirement from late night tv. Yeah. This will be my final show. Its been quite a ride though, you know. You may know me from my role as lobby passerby in the 1996 episode of the xfiles. Or maybe from my vanity show. Okay. [ applause ] its the second one, i guess. Im not the only one in costume tonight. Everyone on the kimmel staff is dressed up as a musician from the 80s. Our announcer, de schneider. There you go. Good luck. Our band