For outstanding literary work, Jason Reynolds is joining us, everybody cheers and applause but first, amazon, the company we cant live without. Well, theyve just taken shopping to the next level. After revolutionizing the way we shop online, amazon now has its sites on the way we shop in person. Tonight long lines outside the store thats trying to get rid of them altogether. Lets get ready to shop. Inside amazon go, a new Grocery Store opening to the public first time today. No checkout or register in site. Customers use a new app to scan in, start shopping. Customers leave without checking out and their amazon account is automatically charged. Trevor this is genius all those people have to do is wait in line and they dont have to wait in line at all, huh . Yeah, just two more hours, then i will be in and out in record time look at those geniuses, huh . You know, like the store is so insane. I cant wait for the first amazon store robbery. It will be so awkward. The robber will run in,
I notice theres a guy in the audience named chuck who years ago taught me to powder my balls and i thank him for it. Thanks chuck. Hey were on the brink of a government shut down and congress are trying to hammer out some kind of agreement to keep the country open. Its amazing weve reached a point which north and south koreas have a better relationship than republicans and democrats. Republicans are saying the democrats are shutting the government down even though the republicans are in control of the house, senate and white house. The democrats cant even shut their computers down without paul ryans permission. But the republicans have done something that i think is bad. Theyve lumped chip into their spending bill, thats the Childrens Health Insurance Program that covered 9 million lowincome kids and is yet to be reauthorized its been 100 days since it expired. Its scary for parents the funding should not have ran out it is supported overwhelmingly by republicans and democrats and all
From england, ed sheeran won two grammy awards. But poor ed sheeran. He was up for best pop Solo Performance in a category, he was up against four female nominees and when he won twitter attacked him. This is ridiculous and this year of all years, how dare ed sheeran beat those women. You know ed sheeran didnt actually beat any women. [ laughter ] there was a vote. I mean, whats he supposed to do . Write less popular songs . The big winner of last night was bruno mars. Bruno won six grammy awards. [ cheers and applause ] including song of the year, album of the year, and record of the year. You shouldnt be able to win that many categories for the same thing. Imagine tuning in to the oscars to see meryl streep win best actress, best actress with long hair, and best actress in a movie about newspapers. Its too much. [ laughter ] and not only that, bruno mars now, show this. This is bruno mars accepting an award for song of the year for the song thats what i like. Song of the years an awa
Like it does every day. And nothing really happened, which was strange. And then i realized oh, yeah, the reason its quiet is because donald trump is on a plane right it felt like skull island after they abducted king kong. President trump is on his way to davos, switzerland for the to s ratist. Hes there to meet with other world leaders, to give a speech and there judging the swiss miss trump plans to tell the world that america is open for business. And who better to make that declaration than a man who declared bankr according to a new poll, the majority of americans dont trust President Trump with the nuclear button. 52 of the public say theyre worried the president might launch a Nuclear Attack for no good reason. I just wonder who are the 48 not worried. I wick i could be that relaxed. I wouldnt trust donald trump with a belly button. The fact that someone is even conducting a poll asking whether or not the president shouk trusted with Nuclear Weapons is a reason to take those Nu
States. Its funny. We were in the office today, just kind of hanging out, waiting for something to happen like it does every day. And nothing really happened, which was strange. And then i realized oh, yeah, the reason its quiet is because donald trump is on a plane right now. Hes out of the country. Hes in the air so he cant [ applause ] it felt like skull island after they abducted king kong. President trump is on his way to davos, switzerland for the World Economic forum. Hell only be there for a night, but that should be plenty of time for him to Say Something ratist. Hes there to meet with other world leaders, to give a speech and there judging the swiss Miss Universe pageant. Really the best pageant because the women come with mini marshmallows and theyre delicious. Trump plans to tell the world that america is open for business. And who better to make that declaration than a man who declared bankruptcy six different times. According to a new poll, the majority of americans dont