shortly after her interrogation, amber was charged with josh s murder. two months later, out on bond, she gave birth to their son. he s 20 months old now. my mom sends me pictures every day. he s he s my world. but now she can only see him through a pane of glass in the visitation room. nobody can understand how much that simple contact with the people that you love matters until you don t have it anymore. hilberling s jail i.d. reminds her of better days. i miss this girl. i don t miss what she was going through. at the time. but i m i miss being a girl. that s one of the options we don t really have in jail. i get reminded at least once a day that i don t look anything like i used to. the girls here make makeup out of colored pencil, toothpaste, hair grease. we just do it because kind of makes us feel like we re normal, like we re girls.
still kind of a shock. jail policy is to make sure that inmate who s have just suffered the emotional distress of a long sentence don t intent to harm themselves. so soon after her return, hilberling must meet with mental health staff. here you have to ask the inmates point blank, do you want to kill yourself? are you suicidal? do you have plans of harming yourself? i said, i wish i did. you know? it might make this easier. but i m okay. i ll be okay. she was ready to cry. she was holding back tears, trying to be stoic as best that she could after receiving a 25-year sentence. but she was cleared to go back to her general population unit. hilberling says she s made a conscious choice to view her future with optimism. i don t mean to sound all religious, but i think that s the whole point of faith is knowing that it can be a lot worse. somebody in the holding cell today was messing with me about
headlines in tulsa. her case was covered nationwide. was this an accident or something else? 18 months earlier, police were called to the high-rise apartment building overlooking the arkansas river near downtown tulsa. i man had fallen out of a window from the 25th floor down to the eighth floor on the parking garage. he was pronounced dead on the eighth floor of the parking garage. the victim, amber hilberling s 23-year-old husband, josh. from day one, i know what happened. i was the only other person there and i will always maintain my innocence. i did not kill my husband. i ll spend the next 25 years proving that if i have to.
mommy loves you infinity, squirt. for everyone involved in this train, i pray for. nobody can begin to see or estimate what i ve been through in more places that only this courtroom. aside from my sentencing today i will live with this for the rest will live with this for the rest of my existence. i miss my husband just as much and i know my family misses me. but i put my faith in so much more than anything happening here and now. do you think that letter s going to have an impact? they ll need to know that i have remorse, not because of guilt, but i do have remorse that people hurt. i hurt. hilberling could be sentenced to as much as 25 years. prior to the trial, she turned down the prosecution s offer for far less time if she pled guilty. i was offered five years, no contest, a week before i went to trial. and the judge asked me why i
one will be revealed. and my appeal, something will change. because of the processing that must take place, sentenced inmates are rarely transported immediately to state prison. it can be a matter of months before the transfer occurs. three days after her sentencing hilberling has been told the transfer is imminent. the last few days have been hard. the last few days have been really hard. now that my trial is kind of over and everything, i actually have room to grieve. there s a lot of things you mourn over. not just people, you know? but places, identities, people you could have been, things you could have done. late that night, hilberling s transfer comes through. she is awoken and told she s being sent to prison. the next day, hilberling s best