Thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen fox news alert on the sequester. Just the word is so weird. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [eagle caw] stephen tonight, big changes for texas. Their 10gallon hats are now 38liters. [laughter] then, can our Drone Program win the war on terror . Yes, if you go up, up, down down, b, a, b, a, select. [laughter] and my guest, physicist michio kaku believes an asteroid could destroy the earth. Global warming, solved. [laughter] ice land is considering a ban on internet porn. Now theres nothing to do in iceland. [ laughter ] this is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen ] thank you, ladies and gentlemen, please sit down. [cheers and applause] welcome to the
Number, too. [laughter] 661 million . All right. Lets find out how much suge knights worth. [laughter] now i assume, when hes shaking people over the balcony, its like, hey, did anything fall out . [laughter] hugh hefner. Im gonna say hes worth 45 million. [audience ohs] [laughter] thatll buy you plenty of viagra. Okay, larry flynt. If hef is worth 43 million, im gonna say larry flynt is in the ballpark of 25 million. [audience ohs] i guess that proves that soft porn doesnt pay as well as watching someone get peed on. [laughter] lesson learned, america. Daniel tosh. I think the shocking part is that i made the list. [laughter] 400,000 in the red [laughter] by the way, theres good debt and bad debt. Currently, im upside down on a mortgage. [laughter] probably doesnt help that a hot girl flies me to mexico to invest in her familys tequila business either. Next time, im saying, no, gracias. [laughter] go to our blog to see the ones that we didnt have time for. See you next week. Good nigh
Thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen fox news alert on the sequester. Just the word is so weird. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [eagle caw] stephen tonight, big changes for texas. Their 10gallon hats are now 38liters. [laughter] then, can our Drone Program win the war on terror . Yes, if you go up, up, down down, b, a, b, a, select. [laughter] and my guest, physicist michio kaku believes an asteroid could destroy the earth. Global warming, solved. [laughter] ice land is considering a ban on internet porn. Now theres nothing to do in iceland. [ laughter ] this is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen ] thank you, ladies and gentlemen, please sit down. [cheers and applause] welcome to the
Thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen fox news alert on the sequester. Just the word is so weird. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [eagle caw] stephen tonight, big changes for texas. Their 10gallon hats are now 38liters. [laughter] then, can our Drone Program win the war on terror . Yes, if you go up, up, down down, b, a, b, a, select. [laughter] and my guest, physicist michio kaku believes an asteroid could destroy the earth. Global warming, solved. [laughter] ice land is considering a ban on internet porn. Now theres nothing to do in iceland. [ laughter ] this is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause [cheers and applause] welcome to the report, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen ] thank you, ladies and gentlemen, please sit down. [cheers and applause] welcome to the
Here is a recent political ad from the state of alabama. I know, the alabama thing makes it already semiracist, but lets withhold judgment. Im tim james. Why do our politicians make us give drivers license exams in 12 languages . This is alabama, we speak english. If you wanna live here, learn it. Were only giving that test in english if im governor. [audience ohs] is it racist . Uh, yeah. Thats really, really racist this is alabama, we speak english. If you consider hey diddy, theres a june bug on your corn pone english, then i guess so. But at least theyre not being racist towards black people for once. So way to go, alabama. Baby steps. Tell tim james what you think by tweeting him at timjames2010. [chuckles] thats gonna work out. See you next week. Yall come back now, you hear . [cheers and applause] captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com [eagle caw] stephen tonight, big changes for texas. Their 10gallon hats are now 38liters. [laughter] then, can our Drone Program win the w