Doing business for the past few days. Is that an accurate way to describe what we were doing . Guillermo yeah. Jimmy it was a jam packed five days for me. Not for you, really. You ate pizza most of the time, but he did call his wife and tell her he was working very hard. Right . Did your wife ask how hard you were working . Guillermo yeah, 16 hours day. Jimmy 16 hours. We announced the new shows, i was on the view, kelly ripa, guillermo ate pizza. He was on Sports Center offering his tutelage to host kenny main. This reminds me of when i hosted at show and i said home run in spanish. Guillermo thats right, home run. Home run. Guillermo home run. Lets see some players hit home runs and see if we can do it better. Its a dominican native for the yankees. Guillermo home run. Home run. Guillermo home run. Jimmy youre a regular ben steller. Guillermo home run. Jimmy any of you see the big megyn kelly, donald trump interview last night . Not too many people did. Out of five networks, it came in fifth. The important thing is that wounds have been healed which is good. It was difficult to watch donald and her fight. Its hard to watch a fight between two people with such similar hair styles. It seems donald trump is integrating himself into the Republican Party establishment, and making amends with those he steam rolled during the race, including the increasingly sleepy dr. Ben carson. You know, during the heat of the Campaign People say all kinds of amazing things. And then they turn out being buddies. Im sure you remember the whole voodoo economics between bush ask and reagans. I remember him saying you were a child molester too. Exactly. Jimmy exactly. She almost woke him up with that. Who among us hasnt called a friend a child molester. On the democratic side, Bernie Sanders won oregon. Hillary clinton won kentucky its funny with oregon. If Recreational Marijuana is legal in your state, you can pretty much guarantee bernie will win it. Hillary is too far ahead to catch. Bernies said hes staying in. His Campaign Manager said i dont think the voters are ready for this race to be over. I disagree. I think were ready. Democrats are [ applause ] jimmy there you go. Democrats are concerned that Sanders Campaign could alienate enough voters to hand donald trump the election. In a that happened with ralph nader. Bernie said listen, im 74 years old. Im surrounded by College Girls screaming my name. Dont ruin this for me. So clinton won kentucky. And sanders won oregon, and now this will be settled by whose supporters can be most annoying on facebook. Good luck, everybody. Bill clinton was on the campaign trail in puerto rico yesterday where they asked him to weigh in on donald trump calling him one of the worst political abusers in history. Do you want to respond to donald trump . Jimmy that is the happiest ive ever seen anybody. That is the hillary is at home, im in puerto rico smile. Hillary yesterday released her finances. She made more than 5 million for book royalties and another 1. 5 million from speaking. Donald trump also filed one. Its required by law. The officials are calling it inadequate. This is the form he submitted which is apparently thats not good enough, but on top of that, trump still hasnt released his tax returns which is something candidates do. He claims to be waiting until his irs audit is done. I dont blame him for wanting to keep it private. Hes not a person who likes to talk about money. Im really rich. Money, i want more money. My father gave me a loan of 1 million. I borrowed 1 million and now its worth over 10 billion. I built a net worth of billions. Ive made billions and billions and billions of dollars. Thats what i do. Ive made a tremendous amount of money. Tremendous cash flow. I have a store thats worth more money than mitt romney. Hes probably not as rich as people think. Turns out its more. Turns out im much richer than anybody knew. Oh, did i get rich. Jimmy one of the reasons he wont release his tax returns is because he actually doesnt have any money. Hes been goofing on us. Wouldnt that be rich . Can i get some music and a podium . Yes, slide in my podium. Thank you. [ applause ] jimmy i know how you feel. I love podiums too. I am running for Vice President of these united states, and i am running alone, ladies and gentlemen. I dont need to be picked by a nominee. Im my own man or woman if you prefer, and over the last few days people have come to me and said jimmy, jim, why are you running for Vice President. My answer is because i love this country so much i would have sex with it. And i mean that. And im not afraid to disclose my financial records. Im prepared to do that right now. Put that up. In 2015, you can see, plain as day i made 500 a week hosting this show. I made 600 teaching caratty lessons and i found a 20 bill in my pants. I hope that is sufficient. [ applause ] jimmy if you need my follow up, im happy to do it. I probably couldnt even find washington on a map. Put a map up on the wall. Lets see if i can find it. Im the perfect washington outsider. Nope, i have no idea where it is. I think it might be over there, but im not sure. Listen, i have no idea where i am or where i am going. What i know is that my passion is for you, the american people, and when i am Vice President , i promise to put a chicken in every pot and a pot in every chicken, and [ applause ] jimmy if you want to show your support, please go to our website, jkforvp. Com. You can get merchandise. This is a baby onesie. It says vice vice baby on the front, and on the back you can see my slogan, a good solid number two. [ applause ] jimmy put that on your child. Jason, slip into that, will you . Ive already learned so much from this campaign. [ laughter ] jimmy you know what . The fbi is going to be calling you, my friend. You cant throw stuff at the Vice President. Youre in a lot of trouble. More than anything, i want people to know who i am and that is why tonight i am proud to unveil my very First Campaign ad. Watch it and if you like what you see, share it with the americans you love. My story is like that of so many americans. I am the son of my parents, one of three white children born in brooklyn, raised in las vegas. My father went to work every day doing what, we never asked. My mother washed our clothes and laid on the ground pretending to be dead until we cried. I try to instill these same values in my own family. My wife and my children. My critics will say im unqualified, that i have no Foreign Policy experience, and yet ive been to cancun multiple times. I have negotiated with cancun people. They said so many dollars for this, i said this much. We settled in the middle. I am against terror. Terror is bad. Always have been. Really bad. Always will be. I knitted this american flag. I love people. I love talking to people. I love talking at people. My father always said no man ever learned anything by listening. Now, pull my finger. Its time to stop listening and to start voting for change because together we can make today yesterdays tomorrow again. Im jimmy kimmel, and i hit this home run in a televised softball game. One of the favorites, only down 21. Hes right. Watch out. Watch out. Home run, kimmel has it. Jimmy i paid for it. Join me. When we come back, dax shepard versus macklemore and ryan lewis to see who can name the most things. Stick around. Well be right back. Uh oh. Oh. Henry oh my. Good, youre good. Back, back, back. vo according to kelley blue book, subaru has the highest resale value of any brand. Again. You might find that comforting. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Perfect union of a cheezit and a chip. You mean like they got married . Umm. I guess. Youd make a pretty bride in that wedding gown. Oh, its a lab coat so. Hey everyone, joes getting married bam bam ba bam. Oh, im not. We take time for our cheese to mature in our crispy cheezit grooves. My son and i used to watch the red carpet shows on tv now, im walking them. Life is unpredictable being flake free isnt. Because i have used head and shoulders for 20 years. Used regularly, it removes up to 100 of flakes keeping you protected live flake free for life intrthe only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. Its a crisp, refreshing twist on lemon lime. Insist on the twist. All the other guys are talking about these days is how good their coverage is. But only one network is giving you more than just great coverage. Tmobile only tmobiles lets you stream video and music for free not only that, but we doubled our lte coverage in the last year. Thats right our coverage now stacks up with anybody. Including verizon and at t. So now you can get rid of the other guys and get great coverage from tmobile. We got you covered. And we wont stop they go ooh ooh. Hey they go ohoohooooh. Sitting, watching, waiting, wishing. I tell you one thing, you never knew it. At the back of the bus there is so much to give, so dream big. Yeah. And when they screaming get out, get out. All i wanna hear is get down, get down. Yeah. And when they screaming get out, get out. All i wanna hear is get down, get down. Get down, get down. Jimmy welcome back. You know, there are so many things in this world, and its hard to keep track sometimes of what all of them are. Tonight a game show that identifies famous people to identify not so famous objects. Its time to play name that thing. Lets meet your contestants, mr. Dax shepherd, everyone. [ applause ] and his opponent, say hello to macklemore and ryan lewis. [ applause ] jimmy gentlemen, macklemore, dax, ryan. Welcome to name that thing. The rules are very simple. Its always two against one . Jimmy its not, but in this case the contestant is so highly sophisticated, but needed to put two sophisticated but not as sophisticated men against him. This is historic. The thing is this. Ryan and macklemore, you only get to give one answer. Even though there are two brains combining, you cannot have two chances to answer. The object is to name the thing we show you. 15 points for a correct answer or 10 for a correctishness, 0 points for an incorrect answer. Ready to play . Yeah. Jimmy lets play name that thing. This item. You have 10 seconds to figure it out. Start your pens. Theres a conversation between ryan and macklemore. Theyre looking over here or there. Jimmy i didnt know they were cheaters, i guess. Jimmy dax has his answer. Dax, what is that thing. Probably not spelled right or legible, but the grappling hook. Jimmy thats right. Ryan and macklemore . A raptor toenail. Jimmy that is not correct, but you have another chance and another thing. Spin the wall and name that thing. You guys are musicians. This is a in your wheel house. Examine that thing. As you can see, its a musical instrument. Our audience knows what it is. Contestants do not. I dont know if i agree with that, guys. Thats wrong. Jimmy dax has his answer. Ryan, name that thing. Ryan says it is a sitar mandolin combo. No, im sorry it is not. Dax . Dax, the time for writing has passed. I was clarifying my wrong answer. Jimmy a lute. It is a lute. It is . Jimmy very big lead. Im going to say, also, for the record, there are no backup answers. There can only be one answer per item, please. Our next thing is name this thing. Oh. Jimmy you have ten seconds. Ryan, macklemore, probably never seen anything like this before. Everyone is busy writing. Time is up. Gentleman, do your thing. Dax says a stenograph. That is what it is. Youre correct. Gentleman, ryan, macklemore, what do you say that thing is . You say its hospital equipment. No, it is not hospital equipment. Im pretty sure they have those in hospitals. Jimmy wow, dax is up did you get it right . Yeah. But i had to reverse engineer and i said stenographer uses a what. I wont bore you next time with how i figured it out. Jimmy you did that very well. Next thing, spin the wheel and the wall and the next thing is, now, this one, oh, boy. Every woman in our audience knows what this is. It is not a duck. You might want to just use your last card for this one ryan and macklemore. Theyre examining. Time is almost up, folks. Here we go. Name that thing. Dax, well start with you. Dax has gotten all three right so far. I didnt here. He says an ouch. Jimmy might have to give you ten points for that. Ryan, macklemore, you say jimmy yes, that is absolutely correct. Give them 50 points. Wow, all right. We made a game out of it. This is our final in this category. Its sudden death. Im going to ask you to write down everything in this category that comes to mind. The category name as many of these in twentyseconds as you can, is cheese. Write down as many kinds of cheeses as you can think of. All right . Here we go. Dax is off to the races. Ryan seems to be doing all the work here as macklemore looks on. Dax is on fire. Ryan is on fire. All right. Gentlemen, cap your pens. Dax, lets see what do you have there . Lets see. Dax got eight. Ryan and macklemore . Very well done. Gentleman, dax shepard is our name that thing champion. Congratulations dax. Because you won, you get to pick one of the things you named. Is there anything you can really think of that you really liked . Lets go with the vagina opener. Jimmy thanks for playing. Tonight on the show music from macklemore and ryan lewis. Katie nolan is here and well be right back with dax shepard. Whatcha gonna do when you get outta here . Im gonna have some fun what do you consider fun . Fun, natural fun. Yeah, we rocking right now. Its a party over here. Hey im in heaven owww. Nice to meet you welcome, welcome today im going to show you the allnew 2016 chevy cruze and ask you what you think. But heres the catch. You can only answer in emojis. What emoji would you use to describe the design . Sfx message sent i think its sexy. Mmmmmm it has available builtin 4g lte wifi® sfx message sent rock on. Thats excellent. We got wifi. The cruze offers up to an epa estimated 42 mpg highway. Sfx message sent this car is like a unicorn. Its Magical Group laughing create your own seafood trios you can try something new with every bite. Pick 3 of 9 allnew creations for 15. 99. Like baked lobster alfredo chimichurri shrimp and crab cakes bursting with crab meat. Just hurry in before it ends. You may know what its like to deal with high. And low blood sugar. Januvia sitagliptin is a oncedaily pill that, along with diet and exercise, helps lower blood sugar. Januvia works when your blood sugar is high and works less when your blood sugar is low, because it works by enhancing your bodys own ability to lower blood sugar. Plus januvia, by itself, is not likely to cause weight gain or low blood sugar hypoglycemia . Januvia should not be used in patients with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. Tell your doctor if you have a history of pancreatitis. Serious side effects can happen, including pancreatitis which may be severe and lead to death. Stop taking januvia and call your doctor right away if you have severe pain in your stomach area which may be pancreatitis. Tell your doctor right away and stop taking januvia if you have an allergic reaction that causes swelling of the face, lips, tongue, or throat, or affects your breathing or causes rash or hives. Kidney problems sometimes requiring dialysis have been reported. Some people may develop severe joint pain. Call your doctor if this happens. Using januvia with a sulfonylurea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. To reduce the risk, your doctor may prescribe a lower dose of the sulfonylurea or insulin. Your doctor may do blood tests before and during treatment to check your kidneys. If you have kidney problems a lower dose may be prescribed. Side effects may include upper respiratory tract infection, stuffy or runny nose, sore throat, and headache. For help lowering your blood sugar talk to your doctor about januvia. Jimmy tonight, shes the host of the emmywinning sports show garbage time with katie nolan. Katie nolan is here. Then their album is called this unruly mess ive made, macklemore and ryan lewis from the samsung outdoor stage. And you can see the boys live here in l. A. At the shrine, may 31st. Tomorrow night, the great Magic Johnson will be here, ludacris and ciara will join us, and well have music from ariana grande. And on friday, we have a new show with bryan cranston, aneeka noni rose, and music from joanna newsome. You know our first guest is one of the funniest people i know and i know a lot of them. His credits span from parenthood to punkd and he is now the director and star of big screen version of chips. Please welcome dax shepard. [ applause ] jimmy very happy to see you. You know, i saw your lovely and very charming wife kristen bell, and i said i havent seen dax in a long time. Three years probably. Not truly, but i had a kid three years ago. Youve recently had a kid. So really we see each other here. This is our date night. This is how we maintain our friendship. Jimmy how old are the girls . I have nothing to promote. Im here to check in with you and make sure you dont need any money or anything. Its a minimal maintenance two humans can do. People think were best friends because im proud to be friends with you. I constantly talk about being friends with you. Whats he up to. Jimmy how old are you girls . Three and one and a half. Jimmy ive seen pictures. Its the offensive. Its hot. Jimmy is two a lot harder than one. Exponentially so, yeah. When you have one, you have a twohour nap if things go well, and then they go to bed two hours before you. When you have two, there is no hours. Its just them. From sun up to sun down. Its over. Jimmy they dont block it out for you . They dont care. Jimmy do they go with you when you work . Yes. These two girls have been to more places than i had been when i was 30. I kind of resent them. Yeah. Its like jimmy where have they been . Theyve been to cuba. Jimmy no. Who here has been to cuba . Dont worry about raising your hands. The Rolling Stones havent been there yet. My kids have been to cuba. Jimmy i dont think pit bull has been to cuba and he seems to be cuban. Was that a work thing . My wife was shooting her show there, so i went to watch the kids. And take her exstep dad out to see the historic red light district. Jimmy hold on. Go back. Does her exstep dad live in cuba . He lives in miami which is a skip and throw away, so we thought lets bring him in, and he and i are buddies. He loves house power and women. Every meal larry eats he says, with total sincerity, i love food, as if its the first time hes ever eaten food. Its so sincere. He should be an actor in commercials. He could eat a paper towel and go, oh, i love paper towels. But hes a party, this guy. Larry, so she brought him down, and i said to kristen, if time permits i wouldnt mind showing larry the seedier side of havana, and she said well how seedy . Like youll come home with an std, and i said no, but id like to be within striking distance of an std. But my wife to combat this, she gave everything we own away there. This is sincere. We came with luggage and toys for the kids and their clothing. We got to the next stop because we went to new orleans for her movie. I got there and theres nothing in our bags. She gave it all to the people of cuba. She gave everything we own away. She didnt run it by me. She just heard they need things. So she found a charity and she gave everything we own away. So we got to new orleans, theres no diapers. Theres no jammies or toys. Its just a fresh do over. Jimmy she didnt give larry away. Did he come with you . Larry has not been heard from in a while. I think he stayed down there. They got great food. He loves the food. Jimmy do you think youll have more children . Not, no. Last year my wife was working in atlanta. We were there, and she all of a sudden goes, im so stupid. Ive been sick for ten days and ignoring it. Im definitely pregnant. Im like were going to turn into john and kate plus eight. We already have no life. I was freaked out. It was so bad. That was tuesday. That happened on tuesday. And she had to work. For eight hours we didnt get a pregnancy test. For eight hours i was imagining my life with all these kids. That was tuesday. I flew home wednesday for a meeting. Thursday morning i had a vasectomy. Jimmy wow. I had a vasectomy. Theres a lot of urologists in the audience. I had a vasectomy and kristen was not thrilled that i did it so quickly, but im a man of action. I was in and out. I was back in atlanta two days after that shooting a samsung commercial. Jimmy whats that process like, a vasectomy . Its pretty great. They knock you out. Ps, a guy said you want me to check your prostate while youre out. While im out, i dont want to hear about any other check ups for a while. You have to about three weeks later take your semen in to make sure its worked. Jimmy what . They test it to see if the semen is sterile or not. Jimmy you take it in. They dont provide an area at the clinic to service yourself, so you have to bring in a sample. Jimmy okay. So i had an appointment at 5 00 in Beverly Hills, and you have to you have to procure your sample within two hours of when you get there. You follow me . Jimmy yeah. Theyll start dying and who will know if they were fertile . So i was working. I had a meeting scheduled at three. No problem. Ill have time to go into my office, relax, extract, go to Beverly Hills. I brought a jar that was rinsed and sterile, i think. My friend knows the time crunch and im in this meeting. I cant get out of this meeting. The clock is ticking. I have 15 minutes to get from burbank to Beverly Hills and procure my sample. This is the gods truth. I had to drive across town, rush hour, thank god there was heavy traffic on Laurel Canyon, so it slowed down enough that i could [ laughter ] jimmy really . I literally masturbated on Laurel Canyon in heavy traffic. [ applause ] youre not just dealing with that. Its one going to be just go for it, but i have a jar, and you know, its heavy traffic. Its a curvy for those of those who have not been on that road. Its hard enough to get through that road while not making love to yourself into a container. Jimmy wow. The great news is, im sterile. Jimmy dax shepard, everybody. Well be right back. Hey there, can i help you with anything . Hey siri, whats at ts latest offer . Oh, i dont think that siri can. Right now, switch to at t for an iphone and get one free. Wow, is that right . Yeah, its basically. Yes. That is the current offer from at t. Okay siri, you dont know everything. Well, i know you asked me to call you the at t hostess with the mostest. Okay, shut her down. Turn it off. Right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. Thats not fair, he should give you your rollerblades back. And, shes back. Storm coming . A very dangerous cheese storm. Presenting the American Express blue cash everyday card with cash back on this. Mouth toys. That really takes me back. Cash back on this. Baloney and medical gauze. And even this. Who said shrimmpppppppppppp . Ahhh, shrimp. The lobsters little brother. Great choice. Ughhhhhh, im so shrimp rich. All with no annual fee. Cash back on purchases. Backed by the service and security of American Express. Cash back on purchases. Perfect union of a cheezit and a chip. You mean like they got married . Umm. I guess. Youd make a pretty bride in that wedding gown. Oh, its a lab coat so. Hey everyone, joes getting married bam bam ba bam. Oh, im not. We take time for our cheese to mature in our crispy cheezit grooves. Because you cant beat zero heartburn i take prilosec otc each morning for my frequent heartburn ahhh the sweet taste of victory prilosec otc. One pill each morning. 24 hours. Zero heartburn. It was all pencil and paper. Started out, the surface pro is very intuitive. I can draw lightly, just like i would with a real pencil. Ive been a forensic artist for over 30 years. I do the composite sketches which are the bad guy sketches. You need good resolution, powerful processor because the computer has to start thinking as fast as my brain does. I do this because i want my artwork to help people. Jimmy were back with dax shepard. Katie nolan is on the way. The last time you were here you were getting ready to release chips. You wrote it and starred it. I even did one of the stunts so in the credits it would say stun man dax shepherd. Jimmy when does the movie come out . August of 17. It is enough time for the topical jokes to not be funny anymore. I dont think my election jokes are going to be as poignant. Someone could make another chips i suppose. Jimmy you have to be careful. You really do. Jimmy this was a photograph at the premier of game of thrones. Our shirts say stark in the streets, wilding in the sheets. Were also wearing tattoos. This is a formal event. Everyone there is black tie except for us in our tank tops and tons of tattoos. And when we were together, it was awesome. I felt like the bell of the ball. We were so popular. I felt wonderful. We got separated. She started talking to somebody, and then i saw lisa bonet, probably my all time crush of all time. I love her. So i saw her. Ive met her maybe twice. Weve been at the party long enough where im comfortable in my tank top and tattoos. Im not thinking about it. I go up to her to say hi, and its not the warm reception ive had in the past, and then i realized im in a tank top. I have bad tattoos all over my neck. Im not with kristen. I look insane. I look like they let a crazy person in. Im like, i got to get my wife over here. Im like hold on. Kristen. Get over here. Jimmy she did. She came over. Jimmy did you think of lisa bonet in that car on Laurel Canyon . You know, thats between me and that car and the 600 people in traffic around me. Jimmy dax shepard. Chips comes out in a really long time. Coming up next is katie nolan. If youve ever been lured in straight talk. By a low price wireless plan then theres not enough highspeed data or your bill is packed with overages and mystery fees. Stop falling for it with straight talks unlimited plan, you get americas largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. No contract, no tricks. And five gigs of highspeed data for just fortyfive dollars a month. Its time to ask yourself. Why havent i switched . Get a Samsung Galaxy s7 or bring your own phone. Find out more at straighttalkswitch. Com sir, this alien life form at an alarming rate. Growing fast, you say . We cant contain it any long. Oh you know, that reminds me of how geicos been the fastestgrowing auto insurer for over 10 years straight. Over ten years . Mhm, geicos the company your friends and neighbors trust. And deservedly so. Indeed. Geico. Expect great savings and a whole lot more. Versus the lube strip. With a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. Sorry, lube strip. Schick hydro®. Free your skin®. Get your own liquid gold. Go on, git theres gold in them thar shells. Liquid gold. Intromercedesbenz ccoupe, redesigned with its athletic prowess and sleek new body. It doesnt just raise the bar. It completely crushes it. The allnew cclass coupe. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. [liquid dribbling] do you sell highend champagne . In the back. [beep, beep] [cork pop] have a good night. The new waterresistant galaxy s7 edge. Jimmy were back. Our next guest went from boston area bartender to blogger to host of her newly emmy award show that airs at midnight on wednesdays. Tonight its at 12 30 so you can watch her right now. Please welcome, katie nolan. [ applause ] congratulations on your emmy. Thats exciting. Yeah. Jimmy did you expect to win . Not at all. Jimmy were you prepared . Did you thank everyone that needed to be thanked . Nope. Jimmy who did you miss . Everyone. Every person. Jimmy you didnt thank everyone in. I missed everyone. I was backstage because i was presenting a couple awards that night. I had to do that first. I didnt know when our category was up. Its outstanding social tv experience. Jimmy what does that mean . That we are on tv, outstanding and social in experience things. I dont really know. But so i was backstage getting ready to present, and they mentioned, started reading the people in my category that i knew we were up against. I was like thats funny. I recognize those shows and they were like the winner is katie nolan and garbage time. I have no idea what happened next. I think i screamed. I may have collapsed, and then kevin who works with me. Hes like you have to go up and get your emmy. Jimmy you didnt go out . No. I was like thats so cool. They were like go. Jimmy they make you go get it yourself. I learned that. Its a learning experience. Jimmy did you carry it around the rest of the night . I didnt let anybody take it. You go off stage and someone is like ill take this. I was like no. The guy said thats a prop. You dont get to keep that one. Jimmy you did something with your emmy that ive never seen anyone do before. This is very innovative. You put you attached a beer glass to it. [ applause ] so i did not put it down for the entire night. You were supposed to leave it. I said i wanted to take it with me. Its my first emmy, probably my last. I want to keep it forever. I brought it to the bar, and the president of fox sports was like too bad you cant chug out of it. I was like dont challenge me with a good time. Jimmy this guy sounds like some president of a network. He just knows me well and knows if it were a stanley cup, i would have drank it. Jimmy maybe youll get that next. Thats the next goal. Jimmy this show, explain the idea. The idea you could just move the show back a half hour tonight so people can watch you on it its not very rigid. Lets put it that way. Or youre a huge deal. You got to look at it from that view. [ applause ] jimmy well go with the former. No other jimmy. Jimmy you really moved it for yourself. Yes, a little. If our viewers want to watch this, theres no way theyre picking our show. Were low budget, a tiny show. Our studio is probably 1 80th the size of this. Its smaller than my green room here. Jimmy is it really . Yes. Its sports comedy. Its fun. We dont take ourselves to seriously. Jimmy its fun. It catching on. Its once a week on wednesday night very late, but i feel like i see a lot of stuff from it. Thats because i email you. Jimmy is this what you studied in college . No. I studied public relations. Jimmy okay. So i have a degree in that if anyone wants it. Jimmy is your family a big sports family . Fans . Are you nervous. Jimmy i am. Thats me. Jimmy im not really around emmy winners that often. My family, huge sports fans. Were from boston. Everybody is. My dad is the kind of fan who when the team does poorly one time immediately is like red sox are done this season. My mom is the opposite. Shes superstitious. She never she made me watch an entire game in the bathroom once because i was there when someone hit a home run. If i would leave the bathroom, we would lose. Jimmy how many innings were you there . Six. An early home run for us to be that superstitious. Jimmy thats a good title of a book, six innings in the bathroom with mom. She was a bartender in boston for most of my life. In order to be able to interact with her customers, she got into sports. That helped her get more tips. Her and my father have season tickets to the boston bruins. If the bruins are losing shell make my dad get up from his seat that he paid for and walk around the garden instead of watching the game, and now shes got the other people in our section go ahead mike, why are you still here . Get up. He leaves. Hes okay with it because hes always looking for an excuse for another hot dog. Hes like darn. Jimmy if theyre losing, its his fault s p. Right. Jimmy congratulations on your success. The show is on after this. Well be right back with macklemore and ryan lewis. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Jimmy i want to thank dax shepard, katie nolan and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. Nightline is next, but first their album is called this unruly mess ive made. Here with the song dance off, macklemore and ryan lewis. Dance off dance off i challenge you to a dance off hands off no trash talk no back walk on the black top just me, you, thats all no cat calls no tag teams no mascots right now dance off get down the floor get down the get down the floor, go get down the floor do it come on and get down the floor, go i grab my ankle and pull it up and do that thing where i move my butt i got the juice mother dont use it up i say woo there it is then loosen my tux then i shimmy, shimmy shimmy, shimmy, shimmy to the left shimmy, shimmy, shimmy shimmy, shimmy to the right gimme, gimme, gimme everything that you got dance off do the damn thing right she got loose elbows and a big ol neck i like a big boned girl who could work up a sweat i rock shelltoes and a turtleneck she just wanna talk i said i aint ted dance off your grandma thats a bad mama jama she doing the banana grabbing my trunk like a hammock mmm she like the funk dammit she can handle it she tugging im feeling a little bit inadequate dance off your grandpa got a like a ham hock hella old, hella long looking like matlock damn dog i dont even wanna have a standoff he drunk talkin bout he bout to take his pants off dance off the hater with the macarena i can roger rabbit in my office space if you watch my pace looks like im concentrated or im constipated when i walk this way i challenge you to a dance off hands off no trash talk no back walk on the black top just me, you, thats all no cat calls no tag teams no mascots right now dance off get down the floor get down the get down the floor, go get down the floor do it come on and get down the floor rewind go, go, go, go go, go, go, go dance off go, go, go, go go, go, go, go i sneak up behind you like a panther who ordered the private dancer can i get an amen from the pastor pulled the old do you want a back rub you must heard like grey poupon swag on tap like sabian jump on the tablecloth fake a fall pretend to break my arm then im breaking you off but please dont tell my babys mum i wanna dance all night til the break of dawn i wanna sweat, sweat sweat, sweat til your makeups gone baby girl, you looking like a champion hey you, you there get up out of your chair paid twenty bucks to get in this club put your cellphone down you square i be going in i cant help it i got bruises on my pelvis ladies, fellas dont drunk dial your exs hello, bouncer i have a job for you while im dancing watch my shoes tonight is the night that we rendezvous sweat a fountain of youth bust a move fringe jacket pants of leather tank top spandex and pleather been a stressful week i got a lot of pressure you have a lot of great moves but mine are better i challenge you to a dance off hands off no trash talk no back walk on the black top just me, you, thats all no cat calls no tag teams no mascots right now dance off get down the floor get down the get down the floor, go get down the floor do it come on and get down the floor rewind go, go, go, go go, go, go, go dance off go, go, go, go go, go, go, go rewind go, go, go, go get down the floor this is nightline. Tonight, explosive allegations against johnny depp, accused of Domestic Violence throughout his 15 month marriage to amber heard. The actress claiming he threw a cell phone at her face in a drunken rage, trashing their apartment. Tonight what the Hollywood Star is saying. Plus justin bieber, accused of ripping off his mega hit, sorry. An indie musician calling foul. Did he lift this riff from ring the bell . And finally, texting, gaming, snap chatting. Some teens using their phones 12 hours. Is this an addiction, first, the gh