Wow i dont know if tts anywhere near where you what you paid for it. Thats quite a bit higher. Okay, good. The last one that sold locally sold for 1,500. So if it were in better condition, and didnt have some of the marks, i think wed actually be looking at something more along the lines of 2,200, 2,500. So it has a lot of things going for it. Not the least of which is the fact that its a nice ship, and its local. Continue to enjoy this. Hang it in a place of prominence. Thank you for coming to chesapeake collectibles today. Can you tell me a little bit about what brought you here. Well, i have this collection of 452 different steamship line coffee cups. You are coffee drinker of the extreme. Well, with 50 years of taking ships up and down the bay, they brought me coffee on the bridge. And i noticed all the logos were on the cups and i became fascinated with them. So i asked skippers on the ships, or the mates, could i have a cup to take home . And they all said, yes. You drank at least 452 cups of coffee in your lifetime. Maybe a few more than that. Thousands of them. You were a pilot on the chesapeake bay. Thats true, from cape henry, virginia to baltimore. We would board the ships at cape henry and i would navigate the vessels all the way up the bay into baltimore. Now, these are not passenger liners, these are more of the commercial ships that would be transporting cargo and things of that nature. But i do have a couple of cups from the passenger vessels because we piloted not only merchant ships, but naval vessels. I have a few cups from naval, regular submarines during the war. They came and went into annapolis. They were the smaller diesel subs in those days. Wow now, by virtue of interacting with the crews of these ships, youve really not spent any money to acquire the collection. Not a dime. Not a dime. Those are the best kind of collections, arent they . Lets talk a little about the array that we have here, which is really a modest sampling of what you have. And we see in the photographs some of the larger bits of the collection. When a ship was built and christened, it was christened with a set of china with the emblem of the ship or the line that was the ownership. And thats what we have here. A lot are a variety of mainly iron stone, theres a little bit of porcelain, but it was mainly iron sne because it would wear better in difficult conditions. But what we see are a host of really international representations. Every country in the world had even switzerland had a steamship. A landlocked country and they still had a good ship to come up with. Thats right. I had several swiss ships. I dont know in all the time that ive been in this business that ive ever seen a collection like this. We see within our auctions one, two, three pieces. Down in southern virginia, we also saw a lot of the ss United States iron stoneware because thats where that ship resided for so many years. Its different to value a collection of over 400 pieces in exactly what the collection in itself is worth. I mean, it also has an emotional value to you and your family that im not sure would ever equal the market value. But when we see good pieces, and youve got some wonderful examples, and one of the important elements of value is condition, the condition on these is wonderful. So often we have pieces that come in, theyll have a chip or theyve lost a handle. Even so, those pieces will do 25, 30 per piece. Real good pieces, depending again on the line, you know, if its a white star line, q r line, those tend to carry some of the premiums. But equally from what youve described, a submarine, if you had a submarine piece, i think that could be a very interesting piece to a collector. It would not be unusual, quite candidly, for i think that the average price, if they were being auctioned now im not proposing that, but somewhere between 60 and a 100 per piece. Per cup . 60 to 100 per piece. Is that right . Yeah. Oh my but im not going to do the math here on the air because all of my math teachers will be embarrassed for me. But i think you could be in that 30,000 to 40,000 range for the collection. Oh my and its virtually irreplaceable. You could not go out and redo this today. Weve got everything from small espresso cups all the way up to the, you know, the thats gonna keep me awake for a couple of hours mug. But what i find fascinating is the story of how you acquired them because you were right there skippering all these boats. Thats right. And so little is paid in the attention of what the harbor pilots do for transporting cargo traffic up the chesapeake bay. And its really, thats a big part of marylands history, has been it as a major seaport on the eastern seaboard. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely fabulous. Thank you, sir. The expression old money has a certain meaning in various social circles. But when it comes to chesapeake collectibles , it takes on a whole new definition. Mpts john davis discovered a collector of Maryland National currency thats both beautiful and a History Lesson tucked in a wallet. Money makes the world go around, the world go around the world go around money makes the world go around it makes the world go round money, money, money, money, money john money is a subject that piques everyones interest but few of us are experts in money. But im here with mark hotz who is bonified expert in money, but more specifically, paper currency. Mark, what are we looking at . These are some of the most unusual bills ive ever seen. Mark well, thank you. These are Maryland National bank notes, a series of currency that was issued between 1863 and 1935 by National Banks around the country as a way of getting money into circulation. John why did the federal government allow the banks to actually issue their own currency. Mark when the civil war started, the government needed to sell bonds to pay for all the weapons, and they couldnt find enough people to buy bonds, so they simply made it available for people to start up National Banks, people bought bonds, and then they were allowed to issue currency up to 90 of the value of the bonds that they bought. John a lot of these particular bank notes have a lot of local interest. Point out some of the details that people would be familiar with. Mark heres one. It was issued by the first National Bank of baltimore. This is from the first series of National Currency issued. And this note was issued around 1870 or so. And its signed, here at the bottom, by thomas swann, who was the president of this bank, but had been the mayor of baltimore before the civil war and was governor of maryland from 1865 to 1869. John theres an enoch pratt in here somewhere, isnt there . Mark yeah, right here. This is a 5 bill that was issued in the series of 1882, note that has the portrait of president garfield, who had just been assassinated the year before. Enoch pratt, one of the biggest benefactors of baltimore and also of its Library System thats named for him, was the president of the farmers and planters National Bank of baltimore, and here is his signature as presint. This was the size of all u. S. Currency issued prior to 1929. They were all this big size notes. John this is where we get the term folding money . Mark folding money. Also we used to refer to them as horse blankets. Its what we used to refer to them back then. And you could see notes like these. This is from towson. This is from cockeysville, which are local, but there would be notes from all over the country; minnesota, oklahoma, california, that look exactly the same as this but just have different town names and bank names on them. John some of these bills have incredibly ornate engravings, art work. Where did these engravings come from and do they exist as art in real life. Mark okay, on the very first series of notes, this series we call the first charter series, or issue of 1863, all the notes have these elaborate paintings on the back; the landing of columbus, de soto discovering the mississippi, and these were all designed from large mural paintings that you can find in the rotunda of the capitol in washington. But these were only used on the very first series and were never used on notes after the 1880s. John so this is all still legal tender . Mark all legal tender. Everything the federal government has issued since 1861 still retains its legal tender status. However, all of these notes have a premium value to collectors and you wouldnt want to actually want to spend them. Plus, i cant imagine if you took a large note into any store that anybody would be willing to accept it. Theyd all think it was counterfeit. John so a five dollar bill from this period could be worth as little and as much as what . Mark a note from a big city, from new york or philadelphia, might be worth as little as 25, 30, 40. Notes from really rare towns, or territories, or places that are highly collected and very few notes available, could be worth upwards of tens of thousands of dollars. John mark, they say its only money, but to me this is a very special array of currency and thank you very much for bringing it to us and helping us share in your experience. Thank you for coming in. Tell us what youve brought in today. Well, this is a swagger stick that my father obtained during world war ii on a liberty ship that he was commander of the naval armed guard. It was coming back from north africa with 1,001 prisoners of war and i presume that the german artisan made this for my father for a pack of cigarettes or some such thing. It was made from this shell, or a shell similar to this, with a 50caliber machine gun shell at one end, a 30caliber on the other end, and the swastika at the top. Handinscribed on here in pencil is the history of the voyage. Okay. And youve transcribed it. Yes, i did. Its in english. Yes, it is. And youve wrote it to this 3 x 5 card. So the text on the stick reads, ss Lewis Marshall , thats the ship on which they traveled, sailed from north africa october 27, 1943, lieutenant j. G. H. Ross black, jr. U. S. Naval armed guard commander. It arrived at newport news, virginia, u. S. A. November 13, 1943 with 1,001 prisoners of war. So most of these were germans, i presume. Presumed, yes perhaps some italians. All right, well, let me tell you a little about what you have. You have something that in the antiques trade and the appraisal profession we call trench art, even though it may not have been made in a trench, and because it was made by maybe a skilledhand, but not by a trained hand, its also considered folk art. Okay. So it has crossover potential from trench art collectors, which are sort of niche military art collectors to the folk art collectors as well. Then you have subcollectors that would also be interested. You have baltimore, lawyers, navy, world war ii, canes, walking sticks, all sorts of different crossover interesting groups that would all bid on this if it were presented to the marketplace in auction format. So, because of that, it doesnt have ordinary demand, it has enhanced demand in the marketplace because of the crossover potential. Now, the other pieces of trench art that are in the marketplace, for instance, this artillery shell here, which is a practice round casing, theyre often decorated, and they were often decorated in world war i. My mother decorated one. Oh, she did . She painted it pink and used it for mops and brooms. Is that right . And they would use tools to dent it and pierce patterns into it. It could be flowers, it could be animals. It could be artillery, cannons. Tanks, all sorts of things. Often it will say verdon or some other town in france, if it was a world war i shell. So these collectors of trench art would be very interested in this. Now, there are two values for this; an auction value and then a replacement value if you were to have to replace this. Now, you couldnt replace this precise stick because this was a custom made swagger stick. Youre not going to find another one like it, but you could find others that are just as interesting, but different texts, different lengths, different casings on either end of it. So, in an auction market, in a military auction, or a folk art auction, i would expect this would probably sell between 3,000 and 4,000. Im probably going to donate these to project liberty ship, the john w. Brown in baltimore. Oh, thats very good. Well, when that comes to pass, then youll need an appraisal for. Tax purposes. For tax purposes, so you might be considering that. Now, a retail replacement value would probably be twice that, maybe even higher. It depends on the time that you present it. In this current economy, it might be less. If you wait a little bit longer it might be more. This is all written in pencil. What can i do to conserve that. Dont touch it. Dont let other people touch it. Now, if you have a pal that can work with metal, he can take an artillery shell or another brass object and cut it up and make a little stand, so this can stand vertically, like this. And the stand needs to be heavy enough in order to keep it vertical instead of tipping over. And then you put it in a glass case at the museum with a little plaque that you donated it in your fathers name, or Something Like that. So youll get credit for it, and since its a baltimore piece it will have a lot of interest to local collectors. Thank you very much for bringing that in. Thank you very much. Welcome to chesapeake collectibles. Thank you very much. What did you bring in for us to look at today . Well, i brought three items. The two larger ones would be explanation or provenance for the smaller one. This large one is a headline from the new york worldtelegram and it talks about a meeting between churchill and Franklin Roosevelt on the uss augusta , a secret meeting actually in the north atlantic. This photograph is onboard the uss augusta after i believe a banquet. This here is an obituary of my mother, who died in 2009. The reason thats significant is she worked for Averill Harriman. Averill harriman was the lendlease coordinator for churchill, and this smaller item is an original menu from one of the banquets onboard the uss augusta. I believe it was august 9, 1941, which was before we entered the war. The whole story and the interest in world war ii right now has skyrocketed internationally. And here were dealing with the era before the United States got into the war. We were bound by the neutrality laws to be able to get directly involved because at this point in time france had fallen and england had been brought to its knees. And the question was, was democracy going to continue to survive in europe and what were we going to do . The neutrality forces in the United States, in part Charles Lindbergh was involved with that were very strong. And roosevelt was bound by law that we couldnt sell military equipment, we couldnt give money to england. Thats when he came up with the unique idea of lendlease. Well, well lend you stuff. Well rent it to you. So they signed a lendlease agreement. But as time went on, churchill and roosevelt decided that they really needed to be able to talk to each other facetoface. So, yes, youre absolutely right, they had this secret meeting. Roosevelt saying he was going fishing at the time and this meeting on this ship generated the Atlantic Charter, and the Atlantic Charter was not a legal treaty, but it was an agreement between the United States and england of what their goals would be with the future of the war, in part that we had no designs on acquiring property and that if any borders were to be shifted it would be through the approval of the citizenry, freedom of the seas. All of these ideas were bound into the Atlantic Charter. And thats what came out of this meeting. And when you laid down the menu and i looked at that, very interesting. Then i opened up the menu. Well, you look at the menu and they had a nice dinner, and i found it interesting there too, at the very end they had cigarettes and cigars. Cigars for churchill, cigarettes for roosevelt. But what took my breath away is all of the principles and their staffs names on the lefthand side and they have all autographed it. These are the exciting things, the pieces of history with the connection of the story, the connection of your family. How did your mother acquire it . My mother worked for Averill Harriman in the early 80s. He lived in georgetown and she was his personal assistant. You can imagine that this man was history personified. And he had stuff all over the place. And she was admiring it and he said, oh, what are you looking at. And he gifted it to her. Well, for documents that relate to such incredibly important moments in history, theres not many of them to start with, undoubtedly rare, undoubtedly historically important and then it becomes interesting for these oneofakind things to be able to place a value on them. And in a good auction i would conservatively, conservatively put a value on this of at least 20,000, and i would go up from there. If you got two people who were serious you had, at one time you had the forbes, serious collectors of this type of historic americana. Some of that collection has been dispersed here recently. But you have people that would really appreciate Something Like this. And so i emphasize and up. I would expect to see Something Like that in a showcase at the national archives. Its that important. And it just excites me to be able to look at it and figure that all these men, that they had held that document at this very critically important meeting. This is what history is all about. And i thank you very much for bringing that in for us today. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. I hope youve enjoyed this weeks exploration of our history through our heirlooms. Now, heres whats in store for our next show. Winfield scott clime was painting primarily in connecticut, and what fascinated me was that in 1913 he spent a little bit of time in the d. C. Area. And this depicts harpers ferry. Keep in mind, you have other photographs tied into this magnificent story. I do. And as soon as we get home, were going to start looking for them. This is what artifacts in connection with interpreting history is all about. You have an incredible story here. See you next time on chesapeake collectibles. Im rhea feikin. Announcer chesapeake collectibles is made possible in part by the mpt new Initiative Fund founded by irene and edward h. Kaplan. Additional funding for chesapeake collectibles provided by preston scheffenacker properties, a real estate tradition since 1867. Closed captioning provided by Maryland Public Television and made possible in part by the hearing and speech agency, committed to better communication for all in maryland. Www. Hasa. Org. Opening jingle where are you going with that mash . Im papering the gents on the fourth floor. Shouldnt that be done by decorating and maintenance . Not this sort of papering. Just a minute mash, you are supposed to use the staff lift. Now look here peacock it aint even quarter to nine. Captain peacock to you. And its mister mash to you. You aint got no authority over me until the official commencement of your employment which is at nine oclock, now if you come in here early just cause your wife cant stand you its no concern of mine brother. Hey. Hey. Mr. Mr. Mash. Sorry captain peacock. Electrical fault. Hilary, deardrey you are supposed to be cleaning the department not drinking tea in it. Now get on with your work and get that vacuum cleaner out of here before i come in and get the bags changed. The old ones are blowing out more dust than they are sucking in. Captain peacock. Yes sir. Can i have a word with you . Certainly sir. What is that . A cup of tea, sir. I do not expect to find you of all people drinking tea in the department, the canteen is the place for that sort of thing. I got it from the cleaner, sir, and they are paid to clean the place not bring you tea. You misunderstand me sir, i took it away from them at the same time complaining about the mess that the old bags were making. I dont think you should refer to the cleaning staff as old bags captain peacock. Thats right you tell him mister rumbold. Dirt, thats how he treats us. Rubbish. Rubbish. Do you know, he dont even call me mister. That will do mash and get rid of that tea cup. Can you spare me a word captain peacock. I havent signed in yet sir. Later, later this is urgent. Yes sir. I hope i havent dropped you in it, stephen. Morning mr. Humphries. Morning mr. Lucas. Oh i say, i like your hat, what were you hunting last night. You keep a civil tongue in your head sauce box. I bought it to stop me from getting mugged. You know people arent so keen to creep up behind you if they thing youre looking over your shoulder. Look, the center displays gone. The phantom trouser stealer has struck again. What ever will mr. Grainger say . Well perhaps he knows about it all ready. Well if he doesnt hell have a heart attack. What were you up to last night . Oh, i picked up this bird in the library. You. . What were you doing in the library . Oh its a great place for chatting up the birds. You know mind youve got to keep your voice down a bit. I always do. Youve got to be careful to what section you hang around. Oh really, i suppose you like to keep away from gardening, science and historical novels. I usually hang around between fanny hill and lady chattel. The sport section. As soon as you see one thumbing through a copy, you go over and say, o. K. Darling thats enough of the theory now how about a bit of practice. You smooth talking sex maniac. They cant slap you in the face can they because there is a big sign that says silence. So what happened . I picked up this big one. An encyclopedia . No. A big bird, a big bit. Enormous, she was enormous, she was built like a brick chicken house. Ive never seen one of those. What a brick chicken house. No. Rrrrrrrr. Well anyway i took her to the pictures. What did you see . I don t remember but it was a double feature. Morning shirley, hey do you know youve got a ladder in your tights. Trust you to notice. Does it go all the way up . Well theres one person wholl never find out. Oh look, peacock hasnt signed in. Perhaps his wife was late blowing reveille this morning. It wont seem the same signing the book without him looking at his watch and making caustic comments. Well ill tell you what you sign and ill caustic comment. Eightfortysix mr. Humphries, one minute late for battle again. Oh not again. Oh, please captain peacock i beg of you, dont tell the evil mr. Rumbold, otherwise i shall loose my position at grace brothers. A position which ive held for these thirty summers, and a lot more winters. Please captain peacock, i beg of you ill do anything, anything no wonder you wear that hat. Im late too captain peacock. Its no good miss brahms, you know what happens when youre late. Not that again captain peacock. Peacock. Captain peacock to you dog, come here my beauty and ill show you how grace brothers treats their deserters. Now . Now. she screams and he growls with delight mr. Lucas captain peacock. Get up miss brahms, and you have a ladder that goes the whole length of your tights. Thats one person thats found out. I will not have this larking about in my absence mr. Lucas. Im sorry captain peacock. Its a disgrace and very discourteous to me. Im sorry. It wont happen again captain peacock. Mind you sir if we didnt know what a real good sport you are we wouldnt take such terrible liberties. Dont let it happen again. No sir. clicks heels im surprised at you allowing it mr. Humphries. My hand isnt as firm as yours captain peacock. Good morning captain peacock, youre rather later than customary are you not . Well apart from one or two other things i had to get my wife off. Off what . Off on the train mrs. Slocombe. Shes staying with her sister at cliftonwille for a few days. Oh a grass widow, eh . We girls will have to watch our step. And our ladders. Mrs. Slocombe, it had crossed my mind that if you had nothing on during the next few days i might suggest a small diner a deux. Surely theres something missing. Candles perhaps, or anything that takes your fancy. No trousers. Mrs. Peacock is only away for two days. Mr. Graingers trousers are missing. And so is the centre display stand. I noticed as soon as i came in didnt i mr. Lucas . Oh yes you did mr. Humphries, my goodness you said its gone you said. What i said, mr. Graingers centre display stand you said. 0h dear i said my goodness, mr. Grainger will have a fit when he sees it you said. grumbles loudly and you were right. What has happened to the centre display stand . Mr. Rumbold has ordered its removal. Removal . Glass of water for mr. Grainger. Glass of water coming up. Is this one of your machinations mrs. Slocombe. I dont do machinations mr. Grainger, but im very relieved that its gone. Right, i shall have to have some words with mr. Rumbold and give him a piece of my mind. Good morning. Oh good morning sir, i was just asking what had happened to the centre display stand ah yes mr. Grainger, i was meaning to have a word with you about that, in fact i have an announcement to make. Gather round everybody, mr. Rumbold has an announcement to make mr. Lucas, gather round i think mr. Rumbold is going to do a bit of announcing. This doesnt concern the cleaning staff captain peacock. Hilary, deardrey you heard what mr. Rumbold said. Now get about your business. Come on. claps hands grace brothers has entered into a promotion agreement with a perfumery company to promote their products by having a special stand on this floor to promote them. Dyou mean were going to sell scent . Yes, you could put it like that. Well if its scent why cant you clear some Counter Space in the ladies department. Precisely, mrs. Slocombe is all ready displaying far too much underwear. Are you suggesting mr. Grainger, that i remove my underwear and put perfume there instead . Are you suggesting i remove my trousers and put perfume there instead. Now, now, now. Yes, as i was about to say, now, now, now. I must point out that this is a board room decision and that the perfume in question is going to be on sale to both sexes under the brand name of his and hers. Im not going to sell hers and i refuse to have anything to do with his. But im trying to point out mrs. Slocombe, its to be promoted by a member of the perfume companys sale staff. A him or a her . Probably a half and half. Ah, here comes the special stand now. Ices, ices. Come on get four lovely ices. Uggg. Oh, sorry. Thatll do mr. Mash. Times getting on a bit i think wed better all lend a hand. Where shall i stick it, as the stamp collector said to may west. Thatll do mr. Mash. Come on everybody lend a hand. Thats what may west said to the stamp collector. Mr. Grainger i shall take no part in this at all. Ha, ha, mutiny on the counter. Now, come, come mr. Grainger thats not like you. Well even in the french revolution victims were not expected to chop off their own heads. Im sure it wont come to that mr. Grainger. Nevertheless my staff will not cooperate with the outfitting of that stand. Im behind you mr. Grainger. And im behind mr. Humphries, yes unless captain peacock says i mustnt be behind mr. Humphries in which case im behind mr. Rumbold. Captain peacock seeing as our mr. Grainger is behaving like a bear with a sore head perhaps i can help. No, no, i wouldnt dream of allowing a lady in your position to do such work. You are such a gent, miss brahms lend a hand. Ah. Mrs. Slocombe, how would tonight suit you. Suit me for what . For our little dinner date. Captain peacock im surprised at you, you a happily married man. Ah, would that were true. Oh not another one. After fourteen years you dont know what its like. I didnt know what it was like after seven. opening bell rings positions everybody, the store is open. Mrs. Slocombe let me know what you think after you have given it a little thought. Come along everybody the store is open, about your business. Come on mr. Mash leave the floor. Eh . Leave the floor mr. Mash. Oh yes sir, we mustnt let the customers see me must we. Its time cinderella was back to the kitchen isnt it, eh. Miss french i wonder if you can help me. Im sorry im not serving, the ladies is over there. Oh i dont want the ladies. I mean the ladies department. Guess what, youve got a customer. Are you being served, madam . Its quite all right thank you. Im the representative for his and hers. Oh yes. Can i see the floor walker . I doubt it with those on. Are you free, captain peacock . At the moment, mrs. Slocombe. This is the sales girl from the scent people. Good morning and may i welcome you most cordially to grace brothers. Oh, blimey. That must be the sales girl from his and hers, boy, shes a bit of a turnon isnt she. Thats all you think about, its all up here you know. Not one hundred percent its not. Who is that young lady engaging captain peacock in conversation . Its the girl from his and hers. Oh, oh then i think we had better ignore her. Mr. Lucas is trying but hes not doing very well at the moment. Just my luck isnt it for a bird like that to sail in my life on a thursday. Look at that one lousy quid. Where can i take a bird like that on one quid . You could buy six penneth of worms and take her for a walk along the canal bank with your bent pin. Does she look like the sort of girl youd take along the canal bank. What about some of your witty chat over sausage, eggs and chips at the transport cafe. Hey old peacock chatting her up a bit isnt he, look at him, look at him, look at him. Perhaps hes hoping she goes for the father figure. More like a grandfather figure. Well im sure youll be very happy here. And if there is anything at all you need dont hesitate to get in touch. Well thats very kind of you. Where do i find you . About here actually. Hes not working well on her, dyou think he fancies her . Oh no, a young thing like that, men of captain peacocks age prefer some more mature woman, someone he can talk to. Yes i suppose that when you get to his age i suppose thats all thats left. Hullo, hullo, its my turn now, peacocks leaving the field of battle. Well i shouldnt tempt her into no mans land until hes left the department. A word with you mrs. Slocombe. Excuse me miss brahms im going to have a word with captain peacock. Yes captain peacock. About tonight. Oh yes, ive been thinking about that and i said to myself, why not. I mean what have i to lose. What indeed and i have been thinking about it too, but on second thoughts, i feel it would be unwise for us to start something we couldnt finish. What are you suggesting. Well two attractive people thrown together, the spark that lights the tinder, the all consuming fire. I thought it was just dinner. Well i think that perhaps lunch in the executive canteen would be safer. Are you canceling . In a manner of speaking, yes. Well fancy leading a girl on like that. Oh look, hes going to chat her up again. Hes chatting her up again. Look at him, look at him. With his Bedroom Department smile. The randy old floor walker. Its very quiet at the moment isnt it . Yes isnt it. I hope this doesnt seem premature, i do hope you dont mind my mentioning it. Go on. Well let me put it another way, do you have a particular boyfriend . All my boyfriends are particular. Good. laughs and then chokes yes, no, what i was trying to say was, i wondered if you might by any chance be free to join me for a drink when we close tonight. Are you chatting me up . Not so loud, er no. I just wondered if you were free. Well its very kind of you captain pocock. Peacock. Peacock, but my boyfriends picking me up at fivethirty. Ah well say no more. I was just worried that you might have been at a loose end, excuse me. Mrs. Slocombe. Yes captain peacock. Ive been thinking over what i said to you and ive had second thoughts. Well i havent and the answer is no, and regarding what you said about that fire i think its just as well if you didnt get your matches out. Excuse me. Excuse me, wheres your changing room. May i inquire what purpose you want to know for. I want to change. Im sorry, our rooms are not staff. Thank you for your help. It was a pleasure. That told her. Your turn ons coming across. Oh you see old peacock given up, you see he couldnt get anywhere with that sexy talk and smooth smile and all that. I think ill use the direct approach, yes its very good with those toffee nosed sort of birds you know, you just grab them and they go mad. Oh i must watch that, i might learn a thing or two from the casanova of the cufflink counter. Im not going to do it in front of you. Excuse me, i wonder if you could help me . Im very glad you came over. Its a funny thing i wanted to have a word with you see its really something very important. bang. Crash what happened . I grabbed her and she went mad. I wonder if you can help me . It would be a pleasure. Do i need a bodyguard . I wonder if you have a changing room i can use. A changing room. Are you having any difficulties, mr. Humphries . Not yet, mr. Grainger, this young lady wanted to use one of our changing rooms. May one inquire for what purpose. Would you believe to change. I dont like the tone of your voice, and our changing rooms are not for the use of the female staff. Oh all right then have it your own way. seductive music as she strips glass of water for mr. Grainger and a tranquiliser for mr. Lucas. I think you will find that it will fall into your shape sir, and dont worry about the sleeves, theyll ride up with wear. Dont worry about the colour being too bright it will wash out in the rain. Are you being served, sir . Its all right thanks, just looking. Thats all ive had this morning, four just lookings, three. Its no thank you, and two. Wheres the gents. Mr. Humphries, are you free . Well i was just having a chat to mr. Lucas, mr. Grainger, but i am free. Arent i mr. Lucas . Oh yes youre free. Where did those ties come from . What ties . The ones shes putting up on the stand. Oh yes, shes put some cards up there too. What do they say . I cant, quite focus, mr. Grainger. Shall i go over and observe. No i dont think we should fraternize ahh. Call mr. Lucas. He has younger eyes. Mr. Lucas, are you free . Yes, yes, im free. Mr. Grainger was just observing that young lady on the centre stand and was wondering whats on the cards. Well at his time of life, very little i should think. The print, mr. Lucas. Ah yes. With every bottle of his perfume purchased you get a free tie. A free tie, take over will you mr. Humphries im going to see captain peacock. It says what it says with every bottle of hers you get a free pair of stockings. Thats very good for our trade i must say im going to have a word with captain peacock. Here you are then. Lets hope we dont get a short circuit when we plug it in, as may west said when she picked up the midget. I expect it will take a few moments to warm up as may west said to the eskimo. laughs uncontrollably if youve finished im sure you are urgently required elsewhere. Youre quite right captain peacock, ive got a bunged up karsy in the bargain basement. I wonder if may west ever said that. I think its disgusting, its undermining my underwear. And my accessories. You must do something about it captain peacock. For once i entirely agree with you, mrs. Slocombe. This thing must be stamped on right now. I must deal with this my own way, mrs. Slocombe. Well go on then. Im just trying to think of the best way to handle it. Tell her to push off. Mrs. Slocombe, please. Well youve got to put something under them to get them going. Ive found that myself lately. Is everything to your satisfaction . Yes, its all fine thank you. Well you certainly caused a stir in the trouser department. Yes, this outfit usually gets the men going. Its the gym slip look that does it, that and the stocking tops. Yes, yes, if youre that type it does have a certain affect. clears throat your stockings also seem to have upset the head of the ladies department. Well i suppose that job would attract a rather odd sort of person. No, no, no, no, its the free sample that have upset them. Im having to make the appearance of complaining on their behalf, you understand. Of course. Well i think that has made the departments attitude quite clear and theres no more to say. seductice girls voice on tape dont move you man you. Cover your body with me. Youre sophisticated and dangerous, youre slightly aloof. Yet you have a hint of pulsating virility, youre wearing his the man sized perfume. Oh yes, yes, yes, very nice, may i congratulate you on the very arresting sales technique. Well, its corny, but it works. You should hear what theyve cooked up for the ladies. powerful mans voice on tape stay just where you are, dont move a muscle. If you want a real he man youll find im a killer. Just let me caress you and wrap myself around you. Who am i . Im the hers perfume to attract the perfect him. Glass of water for mr. Humphries. sales voice on tape with music yes sir, if youre wearing his. And yes madam, if youre wearing hers you can be sure of instant results, and remember this week only you get an amazing free gift. For him a tie. Yes a tie in these gay irresistible his colours. For the lady a fantastic pair of garter grip stockings, they never let you down. Keep your chappie happie happy with something snappy. Get your amazing free gift now, with every purchase of his and hers. And todays special price ladies and gentlemen, eightyfive p. stressed did you ever hear the likes in all your born days mr. Grainger. I dont think we should take it lying down, do you mrs. Slocombe. No i dont. Mr. Humphries are you free . Mr. Lucas, miss brabms . You no doubt youve noticed the way in which this young lady operates. Yes we have mr. Grainger. I felt it. She is certainly drawing customers away from our departments. Now if youll back me up ill take the matter to a higher authority. Ill back you up mr. Grainger. Its no good going to peacock, hes going to have his eyes glued to her garters till closing time. Its no good going to rumbold hell back up peacock. Weak as water he is, weak as water. Were lumbered then arent we . Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest . I beg your pardon mr. Grainger. Mr. Grainger is quoting from henry ii, when he wanted to bump off becket. Oh not that nice mr. Becket from hardware. No, no, no. Mr. Grainger played becket in grace brothers production of murder in the cathedral. Im sorry i missed that. Mr. Grainger was very good in spite of his gammy leg. He fell of the cathedral steps