Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20160511

Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now its time for the late show with Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen hey hey hey thank you, jon good to see you, my man. Thank you. cheers welcome to the late show. Thanks everybody. Thank you down here, up there. Lovely crowd. Beautiful people. Thank you very much. Thank you. Please, everybody. Welcome to the late show. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Thank you for all that positive energy. Everybody feeling nice tonight . Everybody feeling good . cheers and applause we are going to need that positive energy Going Forward because the election is getting nastier day by day. Donald trump is accusing Hillary Clinton of enabling bill clintons affairs. Thats what he said this weekend, which trump frowns on because he was able to accomplish all of his affairs on his own, did it himself. cheers and applause by his own by his own bootstraps. I believe all he was wearing at the time was his boots. Trump even said that hillary was nasty and mean to the women who slept with her husband. Trumps wives did not treat his mistresses like that at all. They had the courtesy to let him marry them. Tag, youre it hes all yours i think personally that it is ridiculous to blame a wife for her husbands affairs. You agree . Do you agree . applause its ridiculous. We all know when theres this kind of trouble in a marriage, its the kids fault. If you were better, if you were better, mommy and daddy would love each other. I dont know what it is. Didnt clean your room or Something Like that. Dont know what it is. Fix it. Heres the thing, donald trump has been married three times. Attacking Hillary Clinton for having marital problems is like the pot calling the kettle black, or in trumps case, calling the kettles the blacks. By the way, the kettles love him. For anybody concern abouted election, theres a new dating web site out there promising to match canadians with americans who want to escape the trump presidency. Thats right. Thats right. You can escape to the great white north if youre afraid of the great orange here. The site is called maple match, the third most canadian sounding dating site behind moose mates and beaver buddies. Dont look that up, by the way. Now, thousands of people have signed up to maple match, but about 70 of the them are canadian, which means theyve got plenty of mounties. Theyre just looking for a few more mounters. Its not as dirty as it sounds. Theres also big news about facebook book out in the last 24 hours, a. K. A. , the friendster that lived. It came out yesterday that facebooks trending news section isnt actually determined by an algorithm but by facebook workers who routinely suppressed conservative news. Yeah, yeah, its shocking. Before this, the most popular way to suppress conservative news was to change the channel in the hospital waiting room. laughter apparently laughter let it sink in. Let it sink in. Apparently, facebook censored popular stories about conservative topics from appearing on the trending news section. Folks, i think this is wrong. If facebook is going to censor things, why not get rid of the stuff people really dont want to see, like your exs tropical honeymoon . Or invitations to coworkers improv shows . Mike, im glad youre getting out after the divorce, but im not going out at midnight on a tuesday to see your improvised episode of dawsons creek. applause . cheers ill be there. Save me one ticket. laughter the only thing i want to see on facebook is people who were mean to me in high school who are now fat and bald. cheers and applause okay . You know who you are laughter im depressed. Ill tell you why. And, job, you and i were talking about this earlier today. Jon thats right. Stephen we just recently learned that love is dead. Jon thats right. Stephen love is dead, its sad. Because this weekend, ozzy and Sharon Osbourne said that theyre getting a divorce. Ozzy announced the separation by biting the head off their lawyer. Its sad news. They were married for 33 years, six of which ozzy remembers. laughter now, Sharon Osbourne is not talking about it, but ozzy released the following statement, abbit fernum viskie. Blee gerd muh muh filt. Innit . All aboard ayeayea. Say hello to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. Jon everybody cheers and applause stephen all right hey, ive got some good news for people who experience time. Who experiences time here . I do. Yeah, we all want to stay younger jon, how do you stay so youthful and fresh looking. Jon i try to drink green juice every day. Stephen oh, really . Jon and i exercised and play happy music. Stephen do you moisturize . Jon yeah. Stephen because seem so young. I have no idea how old are you. Jon yeah, you know, im black, so i have to moisturize. Stephen you have to . Jon in the corners it will get ashy. You dont want that. Stephen well, my body doesnt have cornerrers . Jon oh, yeah. Stephen if i exer side, my body might actually have corners. Right now, my body is like the oval office, no corners at all. Jon thats right stephen listen, if you are someone who does age, you might be excited to find out scientists have now developed something called a second skin that you apply to your own skin, and it can temporarily reduce wrinkles. For instance the wrinkles you might get from having scientists haik on your eyeball bags. It takes a unique scientific mind to look at wrinkly old people and say, you know what they need . More skin. laughter this breakthrough in second skin comes from dr. Buffallo bill at the university of silent lambs. laughter remember to follow the doctors instructions. It puts the lotion on its skin, then it puts the lotion in the basket. Apparently, its a twostep process. First, you apply a transparent cream and then a catalyst that binds it to your skin as a smooth film. Since its not on the market yet, the best i can do is saran wrap. laughter cheers and applause bleep . laughter cheers and applause am i beautiful yet . Ah ah ah its amazing, its amazing how quickly you panic in there. laughter ah i feel younger already. Folks, im glad ive got this stuff because were all going to need thicker stin because. Donald trump. Now that trump is the presumptive g. O. P. Nominee, his fellow republicans are slowly getting behind him, though some of them might be back there to push him down a flight of stairs because while hes gotten support from some Party Leaders like g. O. P. Senate leader mitch mcconnell, r. N. C. Chairman reince priebus, and Supreme Leader smoke. But not everybody has love for the trump. For example, the georges bush have refused to endorse trump. Also former Massachusetts Governor and former mitt romney, mitt romney. But other republicans are conflicted. Republicans like New Hampshire senator kelly ayotte say theyll support the nominee but will not endorse him. Stephen yes, support but not endorse. Shes holding multiple positions at once. Shes in some sort of political quantum state. Its like shrodingers cat, except shed rather endorse a dead cat than donald trump. applause . cheers but the endorsement Everybody Knows people love quantum physics jokes. But the endorsement donald trump really needs is from speaker of the house and man who truly believes that hes smiling, paul ryan. Ryan, right here is the. Ryan is the highest ranking republican and will be chairman of the g. O. P. Convention so, naturally, last week he gave his partys nominee his full can i get back to you . You have said throughout this process that you will support the republican nominee. Now you have a nominee, donald trump. Will you support him . Well, to be perfectly candid with you, jake, im just not ready to do that at this point. I am not there right now. And i hope to, though. And i want to. Stephen yeah, hes not there right now, he just needs a little more time. One assumes to fill out his profile on maple match. cheers and applause okay, now, to try and work out their differences, trump and ryan have scheduled a meeting this thursday. But before they do, trump is sending in his most dynamic surrogate to win paul ryan over ben carson. Makes sense. Nobody can stay mad around ben carson. Or stay awake. Hes like a tranq dart you use to sedate a rhino before you ask the rhino to endorse donald trump. But carson can be very persuasive. Hes Donald Trumps number one hype man. laughter applause stephen four, four. I can just the chanting at the rallies now only four years only four years they were actually chanting it. So are you there yet, speaker . I am not there right now. And i hope to, though. And i want to. Stephen i understand. This is a big decision. Speaker ryan may not be ready to support trump right now, but someday he hopes to and wants to. I just want to give him a little advice. Hey, paul. Its me, steve. I know youre under a lot of pressure right now to endorse trump. And i just want to say, its okay to take it slow. Just because all the cool people like ben carson are doing it doesnt mean you have to. You want the first time you endorse donald trump to be special. I mean, look at chris christie. He rushed right into endorse, and now everywhere he goes is a walk of shame. cheers and applause dont worry. But dont worry, paul. When you decide the time is finally right for you to endorse trump, itll only last a minute. Just just shut your eyes and think of reagan. But you know what, until then, i know youre a young, vital speaker of the house. You have needs. So until youre completely ready, maybe its best if you just stay home and endorse yourself. Well be right back with chloe grace moritz. cheers and applause while the other guys gouge you for every bit of data you use. Now, tmobile lets you stream all the video and music that you want from your favorite services. Free without using one bit of your lte data. Plus, you can roll your unused data forward. Nobody does data like tmobile. Get four lines. With ten gigs of 4g lte data each. For just thirtyfive bucks per line. From tmobile. Never underestimate the power of energizer. Our longest lasting energizer max ever. Id wash them, and itd be back before i even got to class. Finally, i discovered the new tide and downy odor defense collection. Tide gets out the yogaaroma, while downy keeps them fresh all day. Now, i dont smell like wet dog. I smell good. Dont just mask odors. Eliminate them with new tide and downy odor defense collection. Padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. Helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. Advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. The seal you can trust. With stain and sealer in one. And easy to choose colors. Exceptional beauty and protection have never been easier. Thompsons waterseal stain and sealer. Available at national retailers. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. My first guest tonight is a talented actor known for her roles in kickass, hugo and carrie. Her new film is neighbors 2 sorority rising. Stop it dont you see whats happening this is what the old people want us to do they want to tear us apart. They know if were a united front, we cant lose, because we are sisters. And for the first time in my life, i feel like i belong right now. This is so much better than i ever thought college could be. This is the most fun i ever had, and i went to space camp. I havent slept in, like, a week. I just dont want to miss out on anything. You guys are so fun. We are never going to lose each other. What do you call a house of united women . A brothel. No, man, a sorority oh stephen please welcome chloe grace moritz. Stephen thanks for being here. Im happy to be here. Stephen i was saying backstage, youre much taller than i imagined you would be. Its fake, its all fake. Stephen how old were you when you first started acting . I was six years old. Stephen wow. Yeah. Stephen its amazing, youre 19 now. Yes. Stephen so the last 13 years youve been a performer on screen, but you dont have any, like, childhood actor crash and burn. Youve got no scandal. I know, its a shame. I need to work on that. Stephen if you could have a scandal, if you could choose your scandal, what would you want it to be . If i could choose my scandal, okay, i would want to go to the met ball, and wear, like, a really nice dress, right, and walk up to a huge star, like Angelina Jolie and grab a glass of red line and, like, throw it on her, and get into a big cat fight,un, and end up tumbling down the front steps of the met. Yeah. And theres a snapshot of me tumbling head first. Stephen thats a really good one. While i screamed, red faced half my exceptions falling out. Stephen have you been to the met before. I was there last week. I was there. Stephen why didnt you throw a glass of wine in my face and wrestled me down. We could have figured out a scandal. Stephen yx year . Its a deal. Ill throw that wine in your face. Stephen as somebody who is a brilliant young actress, you havent had, like, ench new roles. Wiewf done different roles where you fly in the face of what you might think a beautiful young actress might be cast in. Youve been a disturbed psychic teen. Yup. Stephen youve been an action kickass hero in kick ass. Do you want to wear the period costume and say lines from a jane austen novelil . Be the demure young lady . When i was younger i didnt make a decision to go against the grain. I grew up with four older brothering. Stephen you have four older brothers. Youre the youngest. Im youngest with four brothers. I didnt grow up wearing pink and wearing this, so i kind of grew up being may have tomboy in that sense, and that reflected itself on screen. Stephen you have no sisters. Yes. Stephen so youre in a sor roarity. Yeah, big shock. If it was cappa nu, i would like to be in it. Its an antisorority sorority its a series of squad rant s. Stephen do you have a squad, do you have a girl squad gidont have a girl squad, per se. I have more kind of a random collection of friends. I dont know if were cool enough to be a squad, per se. Stephen if you got invited in somebody elses squad if taylor swift said, get in the squad . Would you get in the squad. What are the ramifications of being in the squad. Stephen i think she has to order you to kill people. I think swifts squad is blood in, blood out. How do i have to kill them . Whatry rwe talk here . How dirty i do have to get. Stephen ive never been in a girl squad. You can be in my girl squad. Stephen its a deal. After our fight. Stephen after our fight. After our big fight. Stephen in this movie, you are with seth rogan, rose byrne, zac effron, and zac effrons abs. His abs, like that. And his abs, which is the fourth character in the movie. Stephen exactly. Did they get their own trailer . Yeah, they get their own trailer. They have their own chair to sit in. They have their own, you know, makeup artist. Everything involved. Stephen and there are wild parties in this in this movie. Wild, yeah. Stephen well, there are, there are wild parties. Theyre insane. Stephen are you a wild partier yourself or do you not have time for that because youre a working person at 19 . Not per se. We love a good themed party at my house, like a Halloween Party or 4th of july, i dont know if thats a theme America Stephen its a common theme. People have it all on the same day around the nation. But, yes. Its not the most inventive theme. I thought it was specific to my family. Stephen if you had 4th of july on christmas that would be crazy, but 4th of july in july is common. Do you dress up . Yeah, we love dressup partys. We do, like air, Christmas Party but everybody has to wear, like, all white. I just like a theme. I love a theme. Stephen super what. Bougie. Stephen what does that mean . Im sorry, i dont know. Bougie means an extra. Im being really millennial right now. laughter applause stephen yeah. Yeah. Im sorry. Stephen now, i understand that you actually canvassed for Hillary Clinton when you were out in nevada. Di. Stephen youre politically involved. I traveled to colleges and was talking to men and women about it. Stephen and youre an outspoken feminist yourself. Yeah. Stephen why do you, so many young women dont want to say theyre feminists . I dont know. The word has become polarizing. I dont know why. I talked to a lot of them during the caucusing time and a lot of them were afraid to say they were feminists and i think we need to get to a point where its gender neutrality, and not just about feminism and raising one particular sex. You know what i mean . I think we need to make it more neutral because the i think the word has become demonized applause . Stephen i wont demonize it, because that would make me bougie. You dont want to be bougie. You want to be extra. Stephen i want to be cool. Dont look to me for the cool cards. Stephen i always will. See you next year at the met . I will throw the wine in your face. Stephen neighbors 2 so close. Its not always easy to control your enthusiasm. But with unitedhealthcare its easy to find quick care options and compare costs. Thats my husband. Let me try this. Second times a charm. Oh there goes mine. Unitedhealthcare life is a sport. We are the utility. The new ford escape. And youre talking to your doctor about your medication. 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While eating a crispety, crunchety butterfinger bar. Even when his mother tells him not to. Youll spoil your dinner . Now thats bolder than bolder than bolder than bold crispety, crunchety, peanutbuttery butterfinger. I smbut ended up nowhere. A lot now i use this. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent the urge to smoke all day. I want this time to be my last time. Thats why i choose nicoderm cq. applause stephen welcome back, everybody. My next guest tonight has hosted shows on three Major Networks and is now the global news stephen welcome back, anchor at yahoo. Her new documentary is called under the gun. Please welcome katie couric. Stephen have a seat. Thank you. band playing . Ae stephen nice to see you again. I am so happy to see you, too. Stephen i am you know, were friends, right. We are. Stephen are we friends . I would say were definitely friendly. We dont really hang. Stephen no, i saw you at the Bruce Springsteen center the other night. I saw you at the barkley center. Stephen we waved to each other. Somebody tried to give you cheesecake. Everybody on the pit, on the floor, they were all looking at stephen. The whole concert i spent watching you watching bruce. We went to this springsteen cons expert it was so funny because i wanted to see your concert behavior. Stephen what was my concert behavior . Your concert behavior was very subsued. You were very. Stephen well i dont want to i know hes up there with the e. Street band working so hard i dont want to draw focus from him with my moves. Im very selfconscious at concerts and i dont stand up and dance. I really admire people the girls in the row in front of me were smoking some serious weed. Stephen i smelled them. That cheesecake was very tempting by the end of the night. laughter . You had the munchies. Stephen because were friendly, this is hard for me to say angry i am at you. Oh, no stephen yes, because you got to meet his holiness, pope francis. I did. That was such a thrill. Stephen when did you meet him . I was at a scientific conference at the vatican a week ago and i thought it was very progressive of the Catholic Church to understand science yeah the sun goes around the earth. But katie couric, i want to meet the pope, too. By the way, dont you love this pope, stephen. Stephen i do, but are you a catholic . I am not. Stephen i am. I know stephen i think its a sin you get to meet him before i do. I know, i felt really guilty about that. But i can just tell you, he was i mean, this guy brings eye contact to a whole new level. I felt like he was staring into my soul. Stephen katie, i dont know how to break this to you, but hes in a relationship right now. I know. Stephen a very jealous partner. I was hoping he would break up with god but thats not going to happen. His hands were so soft and warm. Im not being weird, im not being weird. Stephen youre being a little weird. I wanted to say mucho gracias per toto. Thats my little spanish because i think hes been such an exceptional figure for the Catholic Church. How do you feel about this pope, stephen. Stephen i think hes fantastic. Thats more spanish than i know. I think he would have i brought you a present from rome. I knew you were going to be upset what did you just take out of your shirt . This is cbs now. Were not on cable anymore. This is cbs. I took it out of my bra, but i knew you would be upset over meeting the pope les moonves, get over it. Its a popeener. Do you like it . Stephen yes. Listen, thats a very special gift. Stephen that is unnervingly warm, for one thing. It was not blessed by the pope, though. So it was it was blessed by my breast. Stephen blessed by your breast, exactly. Lets do it. Yeah, see if it works. Stephen hold on, hold on. I hope it works. I havent tried it. Its a virgin popeener. Stephen lets see whether it worked. Hold on. Yeah because when i put it in here that was just water. Thats funny. Stephen thank you very much. We try. We try, you know. Thats very nice of you to say. That was very funny. Stephen you have a documentary youre doing now. Its called under the gun. Right. Stephen and its about gun control and the n. R. A. Yeah, we try on say gun safety. Stephen gun safety, not gun control. Gun safety and gun violence prevention because gun control i think makes people freak out. Thats one of the things we discovered, it seems to be such a polarizing issue. Stephen it is. You say the word n. R. A. And people start picking sides. As youll see from this clip its really not. Theres much more room, Common Ground than we really expected. Stephen jim, lets talk a look. One of the complexities of the n. R. A. , is that most gun owners dont want criminals and Domestic Violence abusers and people who are dangerously mentally ill to have guns. Do you think people should have to pass a background check before they can buy a gun . Yes. Background check, yes. Yes, i think people, a background check needs to be done. Universal background checks. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yup. Stephen so was that the most surprising thing you learned . Well, a lot of 74 of the n. R. A. Members actually favor universal background checks. Stephen which is very close to what the population in general thinks. 90 of the population favors universal background checks, and the n. R. A. Represents only 5 of gun openers in this country. One of the gratifying thing about this film and many gun openers came up to us after seeing it and said, thank you so much for showing our point of view. I think one of the things we discovered is the tentacles of the gun lobby reached far and ride. For example, they prevented the c. D. C. From studying gun violence as a Public Health issue because they dont want the data that will help sort of bolster any kind of gun safety measure. Stephen what do you mean they prevented the through congress. They passed legislation that says the c. D. C. Cannot study gun violence. Stephen they cant track gun deaths . No. And the a. T. F. , they dont have computerized records alcohol, tobacco, and firearms dont have computerized records . No, its shock. They have to go through it by paper. I think some of the things theyve done to prevent even a foundation for a conversation has really hurt sort of the two sides coming together. But i think this film is not antigun, its antigun violence. I think everybody wants to reduce the number of gun deaths that are happening in this country. cheers and applause at least your audience does. Stephen ill drink to that. Katie couric, everybody. Well be right back. Has more highspeed data nowthan ever before. Reless. 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For instance, i can summon the police on a whim simply by driving my car through a senior center. But tragically, there are those even more powerful than i. I speak, of course, of historys most despotic leaders genghis khan, benito musolini, cara delavigne. These merciless tyrants have but two things in common absolute authority and a big furry hat cheers and applause cheers and applause now that this hat is upon mine head, i am endowed with unquestionable power. This is due to my hats main attributes its bigness and its furriness. re. Any proclamations i make while wearing the hat are now and forever law. Let us begin. cheers and applause henceforth, turkey bacon is not bacon. It shall be known by its more accurate name bird leather. cheers and applause henceforth, if you can make it back to your driveway before the police pull you over, they cannot give you a ticket. cheers and applause from now on, your cars Cruise Control lets you control tom cruise. The hat declares anyone who corrects you for calling a crocodile an alligator will be thrown into a pit of both. If someone upsets you and you dont think of a good comeback until later, you are allowed to whisper it in their ear as they sleep. cheers and applause sweet and low shall be renamed old and possibly poison. applause old and poison. If you are on the second floor, you may not take the elevator down. Your only two options are stairs or falling. applause any guy who spends more than one weekend a month playing paintball is not allowed to get mad when his wife cheats on him. applause fortune cookies will now be called what they are nonspecific but generally positive prediction treats. In bed. Airlines must update their computers. If your technology is keeping my plane in the sky, the checkin person should be able to change my seat in less than 500 keystrokes. cheers and applause from this day forward, billie joel must finally admit that he did, in fact, start the fire. 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No. Cleaning the windows the living rooms a disaster vo most Insurance Companies give you every reason to avoid them. Plants need planting well the leaves arent going to rake themselves vo nationwide is different. Hon, did you call nationwide to check on our claim . vo we put members first. Actually, they called me. Nationwide is on your side nationwide is the exclusive Insurance Partner of plenti. With provolone, cheddar, pepperjack, and a crispy hash brown. Then he announced it to the world in the most legendary way. Ahhem. Triple cheeeeeese the triple cheese and hash brown breakfast burrito. Hurry in before its gone. band playing stephen welcome back, everybody. My next guest is cohost of the morning radio show the Breakfast Club and has been called the hip hop howard stern. Please welcome Charlamagne Tha God. band playing cheers and applause whats up, my sowk brother. Stephen nice to see you my South Carolina brother. Our area code is on it. Stephen i got a big head. I got a really thats even too small right there. Yeah, yeah. Stephen while im fitting this hat you can tell me something . Yes, sir. Stephen why charlamagne . Is your real name charlamagne . No, my real name is lenard mckelvey. I used to do bad things like sell crack and i never wanted my father to know i was doing that, so when i fiend rolled i would say my name was charles or charlie and i had a low hat. And i read that charlamagne meant charles the great. And i thought that was cool. Stephen first of all, am i rocking the hat. Youre rocking the hat, baby. You know whats funny . Your brother was a teacher at my middle school. Stephen wait did my brother jay teach you . Yeah. Stephen did you sell my brother jay crack . No, i never sold him crack. He was a seventh grade social studies teacher. Stephen mr. Coalbert. Mr. Coalbert. Why did you get fancy and start calling yourself coalbear on tv. Stephen excuse me, excuse me. applause excuse me, charlamagne. laughter why did i get french . Why did i get french, charlamagne . I said fancy. Stephen youre fancy, youre french. And colbert is french. I at least didnt call myself colbert tha god. By the way, which tha god, and which god . I used to study of five teachings of islam. And genesis chapter 126 said god created man in his image according to his likeness. It gives me something to strive for. Stephen thats dog backwards. Thats very nice. Puts you on top. Exactly. Stephen theres a lot of responsibility being god. A lot of pressure, a lot of responsibility. Stephen you have a show called the Breakfast Club here in new york, available on i harder road of radio, your cohosts are d. J. Envy, and angela yee. And youre the ruler of rubbing people the wrong way, the architect of aggravation. Why do you wish to aggravate the people . Its kind of the eminem eight mile theory. You have ever seend the end of 8 mile where eminem starts rapping about everything they say, and he owned it. I own what people say about me. Stephen you say this about other people. You asked p. Diddy if he had tupac killed . Lets put that in context. laughter there was a documentary out that basically pointed the finger at him and said that he arranged hit on tupac. Stephen okay. So i figure, you know, the best way to find that answer is just to ask him. laughter . Stephen thats good. Thats really good. I know were in this industry where nobody just likes to ask the obvious question anymore. Stephen you actually asked Hillary Clinton what she carries around in her bag. And she said hot sauce. My cohost said, hot sauce. And i said you know hillary people are going to say youre pandering to black people again. Stephen and she said . Is it working. Stephen thats a great answer. It was a great, honest answer. I respect honesty, you know, regardless of whether i agree with it or disagree with it, i respect the fact that people are being honest. The hot sauce was confusing. I didnt feel like she was pandering to black people. I felt she was pandering to people who like hot sauce. Stephen jon and i were talking about this the day after it happened and a couple of guys in the band, i did not know hot sauce was associated with black people. I did not know that, either. I need a black handboch. Do you have the black handbook. Jon i didnt know i had to have it today. Stephen you guys, no offense, you guys have to got to put that thing up online. Im from the south, we put hot sauce on everything. Im sure you put hot sauce on everything growing up. Stephen i did, i did well, not so much. I associate hot sauce with a lot of gulf coast states. We put butter on things. Anything could be dipped in concrete and deep fat fried. Thats what crack is. We started frying cotain, started frying cocaine now, youre making my mouth water, my friend. laughter is this original recipe or extra cracky youre talking about . Extra tracky. Gluten free, too. Stephen its not got the dpliewten in it. I thought you were reaching for crack. I was like what are you doing . Youve got beers back there. Stephen you want a beer . Sure. Stephen have a little hold on, hold on wow, its real stephen weve got to pope it. We have to pope it up here. Wow aing toast soSouth Carolina. Stephen to South Carolina. Absolutely. Stephen now, actually tweeted something about me which im very happy to hear about i just found out back in january which is, i like, that but what i really like is the guy down here who responds, see the god, what is that. What is his occupation. Hashtag serious occupation. I am dedicated this interview to mista nephew nhmg, the real nephew 901. Im sure there are a bunch of people in your audience saying, the black guy from fast and furious are on steveo show. Stephen thats a great series and movies congratulations on those. Thank you. Stephen charlamagne, good to see you. Cheers. To see you. Cheers. You can catch him on,,, music plays from one way or another im gonna find y im gonna Getcha Getcha Getcha Getcha one way or another im gonna win ya im gonna Getcha Getcha Getcha Getcha one way or another im gonna see ya inhales cigarette cheers and applause stephen thats it for the show, everybody. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be kate beckinsale, b. J. Novak and a musical performance by designer. James corden is up next with his guest, jane lynch. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org [cheers and applause] reggie are you ready to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout your hangups and fears bout to set you right its the late, late show