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Jimmy very nice. Welcome. Hi, everyone. Im jimmy, im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thanks to each and every one of you for coming. I appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you for clapping, thanks for everything. Hey, remember when donald trump said he would give up tweeting when he became president . That was fun 90. That was a good one. [ laughter ] the president woke up bright and early this morning, the day after what had to be his worst birthday ever. He woke up, walked down the hall to melanias bedroom, the door was locked. [ laughter ] so he went downstairs, punched sean spicer in the stomach, wrestled the phone out of his little pink hands and tweeted about this special investigation into him. You know yesterday we learned that the president is being investigated by a special counsel led by Robert Mueller for possible obstruction of justice. So this morning at 7 57 a. M. , trump tweeted, you are witnessing the single greatest witch hunt in american political history led by some very bad and conflicted people. Maga. Making witch hunts great again. I dont think witches play golf every weekend. The way well know is a witch is when the white house falls on top of him. [ laughter ] and we see his feet curl up. And while a lot of people are making fun, there is some question as to whether this might be a witch hunt. So joining us now from actually, where are you from, maam . [ cheers and applause ] hello jimmy where are you join us from . From witchburg. Jimmy witchburg . Where is witchburg . What state is that in . Florida. [ laughter ] jimmy okay, joining from us witchburg, florida, High Priestess of the pagan fed laying abigail shipton. Hello, abigail. Yes, bright blessings and merry meet. Jimmy right back at you. As you probably heard, President Trump is saying this investigation is a witch hunt. Is it a witch hunt . Oh, no, of course not. Ive been hunted. And its nothing like this. Jimmy okay, so that i guess that do you want to see how cold my tits are . [ laughter ] you can feel them. Jimmy no, thats okay, thank you. Okay, your loss. Blight blessings and merry meet again. Jimmy all right, thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so you heard it from a witch, this is not a witch hunt. Trumps later said the leak of this information to the press was outrageous, inexcusable, and illegal. So at the very least i think he just found his next campaign slogan. Outrageous. Put that on a hat, ill buy it. One of americas next top diplomats, Dennis Rodman, is worming his way through north korea. Dennis rodman is in the middle of what is planned to be a fourday trip. And he brought gifts on this trip. He brought gifts for his bff kim jongun. This is what he brought. He brought a variety of seasons. You see it wrapped in sell tape. Whi cellophane. He brought a mermaid jigsaw puzzle. Two nondeskrupt number 91 jer sit. This is line a sad yard sale or terrible flea market. And two books, wheres waldo . And the art of the deal. As if he needs help negotiating. Negotiating with kim jongun goes like this. You do everything i say and i wont feed you to a boa constrictor, that is a deal, mom . Wheres waldo they think is for kim jonguns daughter, who i think is 5 years old. They love american books in north korea. They adapt them to suit the north korean lifestyle. Theres good night un. Oh the places youll never go. The very hungry caterpillar and millions of other people. The caterpillars hungry because theres no food. It really is amazing Dennis Rodman and kim jongun are friends. Especially considering kim jongun doesnt speak english and Dennis Rodman doesnt speak english. I dont know what theyre saying to each other. I dont know if trump has read wheres waldo but i have to say i feel like he has. Ive noticed when he gives a speech, he always seems to be reading it aloud. Wheres leo, is leo around here . Where is he . Hes got to be here. Where is he . Where is franklin . Hes around. Where is robert . Wheres jim . Where are they . Where is general flynn . Where are you guys . Where is kim . Where is she . Where are they . Where are you, airplane . Theres cecil . Where are they . Where is his father . Where are they . Where is bruce . Where are these folk. Jimmy sometimes the person you were looking for was right in front of you the whole time. And while Dennis Rodman is in north korea, this is whats happening in south korea. This from a mixed martial arts heavyweight fight in seoul that got testy, literally. Jimmy hes looking around like, did anyone see that . [ applause ] we did see it. This morning in oakland, hundreds of thousands of people lined up starting at 4 00 a. M. For a parade for the Golden State Warriors. While the series might be over some of the players are still going at it. Draymond green of the warriors, he was here with us last night, draymond is one of the great trash talkers in the nba. Today he did some trash wearing. He wore a tshirt that says quick quickie. The cavaliers play at the quick arena, golden state beat them in five games, hence the quickie. Lebron james saw this and he posted to instagram, thats what she said. And some emojis. [ laughter ] then draymond came back an hour later, he wrote about lebrons new hairlessness, them ws finally made him go bald. You know theres only one way this ends and its with sex, right . While were on the subject of shenaniga shenanigans, this is a good prank or a bad one, you are the judge. This is from the magical midway Amusement Park in orlando. They have one of those slingshot rides. The guy operating the ride decided to have some fun. Right before it started he told the couple to fasten their seat belts even though this is a ride that does not have seat belts. And thats when hilarity ensued. Fasten your seat belt. Who, him . What this. It slipped off. Pull on them. Oh my gosh. Pull it close to your body. Like a this . Wait, is mine is mine too loose . Actually, both of them. Hey, i got both seat belts completely removed. [ screaming ] [ laughter ] [ screaming ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i dont know. Wow. Thats i need to find if anyone knows that guy, on the off chance hes still alive, please tell him im looking for him. Because i have to know. Sometimes i just like to get to know people, honestly. The next great space race is on the way. A team of german scientists is working on a project called bake in space. Their man plan is to attempt toe bread in outer space. Theyre hoping to do it sometime next year. They say their goal is to address the scientific and technical challenges related to the production of fresh bread in space. Apparently its hard to bake bread in space. Which ill be honest, i thought baking in space was a euphemism for smoking weed on the roof. [ laughter ] i didnt know they were doing any of that. Its an interesting goal. Not only has the idea of baking bread in space inspired the scientific community, it also got creative juices flowing here in hollywood and is breathing muchneeded life into the space action genre. The missions primary goal has been achieved. Were looking at the first proof of bread. Beyond earth. Its beautiful. Aglh whats going on . Aahhh weve lost all communication. Aahh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guillermo, did you understand what was going on there . Guillermo yeah, i did. Jimmy what was going on there . Guillermo the bread was moving. [ laughter ] jimmy right. Youre hammered, arent you . Im looking at you right now. Guillermo yeah, yeah. Jimmy you are, yeah. How many drinks did you have before the show . Guillermo two big ones. Jimmy two big ones. Guillermo yeah. Jimmy two big ones. All right. All right, thursday night, that means its time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. Weve got two big ones for you. Its this week in unnecessary sen sonship. This morping a close friend of President Trumps says that he is considering [ bleep ]ing Robert Mueller. It has been absolutely extraordinary. That saying, i cant remember the last time i had so much [ bleep ] up my ass but there is no more room. Mr. Sessions, are you familiar with what spies call tradecraft . [ bleep ] you, senator cotton. Did you say that i had to [ bleep ] kevin durant . Yeah. It really wasnt that hard. Can you call draymond . I want to ride on his [ bleep ]. Its not easy for someone whos a [ bleep ], [ bleep ], like myself or yourself many times i stick a butter bean up my [ bleep ]. They always came out. I think the president i know because he and i have [ bleep ]ed a little bit. When was the last time you [ bleep ]ed . Last night. Wait a minute, last night . Yeah. Why are you keeping these girls prisoners, jerk . You dont understand. I [ bleep ] princesses because i want to marry one. Whyd you [ bleep ] six of them if you just want to marry one . Im [ bleep ]ing them all first to be sure i made the right choice. Parades, picnics, and [ bleep ]s. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were going to take a break. When we come back, in honor of fathers day on sunday, we asked people to tell their dads the worst thing they haver done, and they did. Stick around, well share that together. [ cheers and applause ] we, the device loving people want more than just unlimited data. We want unlimited entertainment. So we can stream unlimited action. Watch unlimited robots. Watch unlimited romance. If you are into that. But we also want more like. Unlimited hbo. Can i stop dying now mark . No can do mi amigo. Its unlimited. Besides you are really good at it james. Dont settle for any unlimited plan. Get at t unlimited plus. And, now get the amazing iphone 7 on us. When your friends come over, theyll be like, what does this thing do . And youll be all, hey google, play house of cards on netflix and itll be like, house of cards from netflix playing on your tv. And theyll be like whoa, what else . And itll go, at 1pm you have a haircut. And then youll be like, play me that song that goes, strawberry champagne on ice and itll be like, playing thats what i like by bruno mars and theyll be like o. M. G. And youll be like i k. N. O. W. Hey, bud. You need some help . No, im good. Come on, moe. I have to go. vo we always trusted our Subaru Impreza would be there for him someday. Ok. Thats it. vo we just didnt think someday would come so fast. See ya later, moe. vo introducing the Subaru Impreza. The longestlasting vehicle in its class. More than a car, its a subaru. The best tour of italy is the at olive garden. Create your own tour of italy starting at 12. 99. Choose 3 of 9 of your favorites. And have everything you love all on one plate. Create your own tour of italy for a limited time only at olive garden. Doto be our next spokesperson . M seems like a good fit. But hes so boring. Im yawning just talking about him. Well its our job to change that. Uh guys. I think he can hear us. Hm. Sounds like youre on the fence. Why dont i just leave you my resume . Yes, its laminated. No thanks. Youre hired caramel has been square for far too long. Uh. Ow. Introducing new caramel m ms. [music volume rises] you guys wanna go . [whistles] lets go run in to get up to 50 percent off the entire store. Hi, fashion. Old navy. To have greattasting they sailight beer. Possible boom. Awardwinning heineken light, brewed with cascade hops. They also said a hologram cant pour a beer. Thats unfortunate. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Andy samberg, gillian music from 2chainz, trey songz and Ty Dolla Sign. Fathers day is almost here. If you havent picked out a gift yet let me save you time. Sunday give your father what he really wants, an extra 20 minutes of ipad toilet time, thats all, its enough. If you really want to make the most of fathers day i invite you to take part in our annual youtube challenge. We have a longstanding tradition now of making fathers day mischief. Weve asked one year we asked kids to serve their dads breakfast the hard way. Heres your breakfast. I get breakfast . Hey geez. What the heck is that . Aah jimmy we asked people to spray dad with a hose one year. Hey, dad. [ bleep ] what are you doing . Aah [ bleep ] jimmy another year we told people to play catch with dad with something other than a ball. We got some creative responses to that. Hey, dad, catch. [ bleep ] dammit jimmy kimmel said to do it jimmy yeah, and you need to blame me, go right ahead, i dont mind. This years challenge, its not physical, its a verbal challenge. I want you to sneak up on your dad, and when he least expects it, yell 80 love you dad as loud as you can. Do this whenever and wherever you want. Be sure that, a, you surprise him, and b, you do not injure him in any way. Do not do this while hes driving, while hes being wheeled into heart surgery, none of those things. [ laughter ] otherwise record yourself yelling i love you dad and post to it youtube with the title hey jimmy kimmel i told my dad i love him. Its going to be very sweet. Look for a message from us. Well put the best ones on the show next week. Say as much as most of us love our fathers, we keep secrets from them. And everyone knows that honesty is the best policy. So we went out on the street and we asked kids to tell us the worst thing they ever did, while theired dad was standing right next to them. This is how that went. Whats the worst thing youve done that youve never told your dad . Probably when i got in trouble by using bad words. What bad words . Like the fword. Whats the fword . I cant tell you. You can tell me. [ bleep ]. How do you feel about that . Not too good. [ laughter ] tell your dad the worst thing youve ever done. I went to a party and i got really messed up and i had to walk 10 miles home. Oh, that scares you to walk the 10 miles home, though. I got chased by the well, it wasnt like the police but it was like the Security Guard at the mall. Ive gotten chased multiple times. You have not. I have. Oh my gosh. When my friends over and stuff, we do a lot of prank calls. Prank calls . Who do you call . We call walgreens, we call like almost like every store. What do you say . Poke butt. You sell vanilla biscuit . What else . I think i pooped. Awhile ago he had these blue tooth ear buds. And i sold them on the internet. You sold them . For how much . 20 bucks. Seriously . I wondered where they were, too. Watched a rated r movie. Snuck out. You didnt know. Smoked weed. Shrooms. Happy fathers day [ cheers and applause ] jimmy maybe he should have stopped at 12 kids. We have a good show tonight. We have music from 2 chainz with trey songz and Ty Dolla Sign. Julian bell is here. Well be right back with andy samberg dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live brought to you by google home. The Google Assistant is always ready to help. Or make a backseat. That feels nothing like a backseat. Why give it every feature you could want. Along with a few you didnt know you needed. Its simple. You can build a car, or you can build a cadillac. Ttake an extra 20 off a greatt kohls last minute gift for your dad like mens golf apparel starting at 17. 59 dress him up with a new van heusen dress shirt for just 23. 99 Philips Norelco razors start at 23. 99 or give dad a stylish new timex weekender watch. Plus everyone gets kohls cash earn it on everything spend it on anything get the gifts dad really wants thursday through sunday at kohls. You know what i could go for right hmmm some sweet barbeque. Or spicy crave van here, try my new barbeque Bacon Cheeseburger and chicken sandwich with your choice of sweet or spicy barbeque sauce. You crave it, we serve it. Crave van but the way we watch it is not. So, lets do something else. Like what . Like, watch tv wherever. Whats that supposed to mean . It means, anywhere. In a car . Yep. Oof. But not like that. Like this. Oooh, family boat trip yeah. And check this, record as many shows as you want. What . What . I just got chills. I know tv, like, made for us. Finally finally. Yeah. Finally. Wait, thats way cheaper than cable. You know what i could go for right hmmm some sweet barbeque. Or spicy crave van here, try my new barbeque Bacon Cheeseburger and chicken sandwich with your choice of sweet or spicy barbeque sauce. You crave it, we serve it. Crave van jimmy hi there, welcome back to the show. Tonight from the new movie rough night, gillian bell is here. Then, his new album comes out tomorrow. Its called pretty girls like trap music. 2 chainz featuring trey songz and Ty Dolla Sign from the mercedesbenz stage. We have something very theatrical planned, they really put something together. We have a whole week of new shows with el fanning, casey affleck, tatiana mass lawny, paul w. Downs, alison toll man, sir anthony hopkins, music from playboy, carty, and queen with adam lambert singing lead. So that will be a lot of fun, please join us for all of that next week. Our first guest is an emmy and golden globewinning american citizen with a very funny new mockumentary about racing bicycles on drugs, its called tour de pharmacy. You seem very, very proud of your homeland. Indeed i am, i miss it. Being here in france, i miss it back home. I bless the rains down in africa. Right, right, like the song. Oh, not familiar with that. Its the lyrics to the toto song africa. Not familiar with that. But at any rate. Its going to take a lot to to drag me away from you. Thats what i was going to say, thats so bizarre, i was going to say drag away from this great interview. Jimmy tour de pharmacy premieres july 8th on hbo. Please welcome andy samberg. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you look great. Yes jimmy the glasses. The glasses are yours. Yes. Jimmy yeah. Is that a bandaid . Adhering your nose to your face . I finally did it, i got the nose job. [ laughter ] jimmy who is your doctor . He did a beautiful job. I left it on because i just wanted to see if anyone noticed the difference. Jimmy well, yeah, we all noticed so you can rest easy. Surprise jimmy how are you doing . Whats going on with you . Im great. Jimmy youre good, everythings good in your life . Yeah, wonderful, i feel happy. I got to say, though. Craziest thing. I dvrd the oscars. Jimmy oh . I just watched it last night jimmy really. Jimmy, that was crazy. They got best picture wrong jimmy wait a minute, you you must have been freaking out have you been talking about it a lot . Have you had to talk about it a lot . Jimmy i did mention it, yeah. I was in my house like, no its moonlight the la la land people must have been so embarrassed. Have you talked about it a lot . Jimmy i mentioned it, yeah. It was actually a good while ago. I dont want to ruin anything for you. Yeah. Jimmy you know i know youre from the way area. I am. Jimmy the nba finals are also over. That i watched. Jimmy and your Golden State Warriors won the nba finals. Yes, yes, yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy are you a big fan . Huge warriors fan. Jimmy oh, wow. And look. I know it sucks for everyone else. Like no one from the bay is like, yeah, its fair were just like the warriors were bad for so long. I watched the warriors my whole life. Jimmy yeah. And like really watched them. Ive been a fan for a long time. And now its like, we watched them get beat down by shaq and kobe. Beat down by the spurs with all their allstars and stuff. Its like, now its our turn not to be embarrassd to beat people down. People do get upset about it not being fair but theres not a team in the league that wouldnt swap lineups, really. Everybody would want to be in the same position. Even lebron has been saying, oh, yeah, i get it. Jimmy do you think lebron i would think he would, he did the same thing when he went to miami, right . Your words, not mine. Im biased. Obviously im biased. Jimmy did you play sports . Basketball or whatnot . I wanted to play football. And my mom said no. Jimmy oh. Because i was super dinky. I played soccer, played a lot of soccer. Jimmy gotcha. Yeah. Yeah, most popular sport in the world, america. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know youre not that popular when you have to keep reminding people youre the most popular sport in the world. Its like David Hasselhoff telling people hes huge in germany, kind of that same thing. Yeah, yeah. You think he goes around just saying that . Jimmy i dont think he probably has ever said that in his life. I unfairly attributed that to him. I like to think he does. Im huge in germany oh, okay. Jimmy i think its something we all know. By the way, ive checked this out with germans before. We have many germans that will come to the show. He is popular over there. He is. Jimmy its a real thing. Its a phenomenon that you cant necessarily be explained. Good for him. Jimmy yeah, well sure, great for him. Its like the Dennis Rodman of north korea. Hes that determined. Yeah. [ laughter ] but jimmy, David Hasselhoff, would you . [ laughter ] jimmy would it be wrong to say i have . Oh sweet jimmy this is baywatch, you know. What do you do over the summer when you were a kid . What kind of summers did you have as a young man . I was a summer camp kid. Jimmy you were . Yeah, i started out as a camper, went there for so long that i then became a counselor. Jimmy was it a good camp . It was wonderful. It was in yosemite. Beautiful. Bass lake. Jimmy how did they decide which of the kids going there for a long time get to be counselors . Kind of the ones that just wont stop come. [ laughter ] it was interesting for me because you know, theres activities during the day, theres like someone who does the softball, someone who does archery, people do sailing. And i had no skill set. So they made up a job for me. I was campfire coordinator. [ laughter ] jimmy what did that entail . What were your responsibilities . At the end of every day theres a campfire, whole camp comes together, you sing songs and do skits and stuff. Jimmy would you pick the songs . Yeah, lets go John Jacob Jinglehymer Smith again im getting paid jimmy and would you arrange the smores and that sort of thing, light the fire . No, i would not do well with that. Jimmy you were the campfire coordinator, you did not light the fire . No, no good services, no. Jimmy and do you have still did you have like a girlfriend or anything at camp . Were there girls at the camp . It was like there was hookup stuff happening at camp. One of my well, it didnt always go great for me. [ laughter ] one year i went. And look, i had grown my hair pretty long that year. Like below the shoulders. And im from berkeley. All my friends were into reggae. I noticed one day i had sort of stopped brushing my hair and it started kind of gnatting up and dreading up. Yeah ill see where this goes. [ laughter ] and it started kind of grossly dreading. And i went to camp. The school year ended, i went to camp. All my friends were like, oh. Dreads. And i was like, kind of, i dont know. And it went on for a couple of days. Finally they were like, this is not happening, and they kind of like held me down and shaved my head. And i was kind of bummed and i was like, man, i cant believe they shaved my white dreads. [ laughter ] and then that night i made out with a girl. Jimmy oh, wow [ cheers and applause ] it was good luck. I was like i am the poster child for why white people should not have dread locks. Just never should happen. Jimmy like the opposite of samson in a way. Yeah. Jimmy that particular situation. Like an inverted samson. Jimmy by the way youve done it again with your mockumentary. The last one was about tennis and i loved that, that was great. This one now is about bicycle racing. Yes. Jimmy and its very, very funny. Talk about some of the people that are in it just to start with. Its a crazy stacked cast, you guys. Jimmy yeah. Everyone will be in everything now. Its me, Orlando Bloom, john cena, w. Diggs from hamilton, freddie high is there more, dolph lundgren, mike tyson, james marsden, julia ormond, flesher ahad, who am i forgetting . Jimmy jon hamm is the narrator. We got edgar wright to do the voice of an announcer, thats kind of hidden, not anymore. Jimmy theres a guy i know named chris romano whose penis got to see. Its a very penisheavy project. We believe in equal opportunity nudity in our projects. Jimmy right off the bat, Orlando Bloom, theres a yeah. Jimmy yeah. Theres a bit in the beginning with orlando. Where, you know, cyclists actually do go pee while they ride, thats a thing, because they cant stop. We were like, this will be so funny, well start with orlandos character, juju pepe, an italian psych list. [ laughter ] like hell start going pee and it will be crazy, like Orlando Bloom showing his [ bleep ], thats so crazy we shot and it everyones laughing, like this is so awesome, people are going to be so shocked and then like a week after we wrapped shooting, like a thousand photos of Orlando Bloom with his [ bleep ] out. Like paddle boarding around cape perry came out. We were like, you ruined it you ruined the joke of your wang he does that, thats his thing. So he cut it way down. The joke, not his [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its very funny. Its called tour de pharmacy. It premieres july 8th on hbo. Andy samberg, everybody well be right back. s splintere, triggered an Award Winning sigh, and inspired 1 incredible makeover. Just clean, conceal, cover. Since then its hosted 1 dance party, staged 4 soldout shows, and sparked deckover doovers for days. Its your made to last deck. One great leap for bare feet. Behr deckover, available in 3 finishes. Only at the home depot. its here ahhhhhhh boom open it should i open it . Ahahaaa yeaaa this is worth every penny this is so my color we, the tv loving people, roooooaaar want our whole house to be filled with entertainment. Easy boy but we dont want annual contracts and hardware. You scoundrel we just want to stream live tv. And we want it for 10 dollars a month. batman raspy wow. Id like that in my house. Its a very big house. Yeah, mine too. Look at us. Just two bros with sick houses. High five. Directv now. A big streaming deal for 10 a month. Its entertainment your way. Sarah destroy. Dent. But when it comes to mortgages, shes less confident. Fortunately, theres Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. Jimmy hi, welcome back. Gillian bell and music from 2 chainz, trey songz and dolla sign on the way. First the nice people at google home powered by the Google Assistant, guillermo and i decided to take it for a spin. Here we are sitting at a table together just as i mentioned moments ago. Guillermo, you want to try it . Okay, google, then ask a question. Guillermo okay, google. What is a dog . Dog, a domesticated carnivorous mammal that typically has a long snout and a barking, howling or whining voice. It is widely kept as a pet or for work or field sports. Thats your question . What is a dog . Guillermo yeah, i want to test jimmy the question you want to ask is, okay, google, what is the temperature of the sun . The surface temperature of sun is 5,778 kelvin. Jimmy see . Thats practical information you can use. This is incredible. Jimmy ask another one. Guillermo okay. Okay, google. What kind of knowledge a monkey make . Jimmy what . Guillermo okay sorry, im not sure how to help with that. Jimmy i dont know either how to help with that. Guillermo i got confused. Jimmy try again. Guillermo okay, google. What kind of noise a monkey make . Heres a monkey sound. [ monkey screeching ] jimmy google speaks guillermo. I wonder if it speaks spanish. Hey, google, how do you say pineapple should never be on pizza in spanish . [ speaking spanish ] guillermo wow thats amazing. Jimmy im going to replace you with this thing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well be right back with gillian bell you totaled your brand new car. Nobodys hurt, but there will still be pain. It comes when your Insurance Company says theyll only pay threequarters of what it takes to replace it. What are you supposed to do . Drive threequarters of a car . Now if you had Liberty Mutual new car replacement™, youd get your whole car back. I guess they dont want you driving around on three wheels. Smart. With Liberty Mutual new car replacement™, well replace the full value of your car. Liberty stands with you™. Liberty mutual insurance. cheering woo going on my first targetrun. Need anything . Laundry detergent toothpaste ill get my purse. Ok, nana. Get everyday low prices on everyday essentials, targetrun and done. Schick hydro®. Protecting mankind, one face at a time. Schick hydro®. Technology that transforms. When i feel controlled by frequent, unpredictable abdominal pain or discomfort and diarrhea. I tried Lifestyle Changes and overthecounter treatments, but my symptoms keep coming back. It turns out i have Irritable Bowel Syndrome with diarrhea, or ibsd. A condition thats really frustrating. Thats why i talked to my doctor about viberzi. A different way to treat ibsd. Viberzi is a Prescription Medication you take every day that helps proactively manage both abdominal pain and diarrhea at the same time. So i can stay ahead of my symptoms. Viberzi can cause new or worsening abdominal pain. Do not take viberzi if you have no gallbladder, have pancreas or severe liver problems, problems with alcohol abuse, longlasting or severe constipation, or a bowel or gallbladder blockage. Pancreatitis may occur and can lead to hospitalization and death. If you are taking viberzi, you should not take medicines that cause constipation. The most common side effects of viberzi include constipation, nausea, and abdominal pain. Stay ahead of ibsd with viberzi. Pshare the same values in helping others. Lo thats why we support service dogs for heroes. We provide welltrained service dogs for veterans in need. Our goal . To raise 1 million. Visit petsmart to donate at the register. Petsmart for the love of pets. Its not just a car, its your daily retreat. Innovative technology. Refined styling. That feeling you can only find in a lexus. Go ahead, spoil yourself. The es and es hybrid. Lease the 2017 es 350 for 329 a month for 36 months. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Going on a targetrun out oneed anything . Watermelon water please and soda grandpa got it get everyday low prices on everyday essentials, targetrun and done. We, the tv loving people, roooooaaar want our whole house to be filled with entertainment. Easy boy but we dont want annual contracts and hardware. You scoundrel we just want to stream live tv. And we want it for 10 dollars a month. batman raspy wow. Id like that in my house. Its a very big house. Yeah, mine too. Look at us. Just two bros with sick houses. High five. Directv now. A big streaming deal for 10 a month. Its entertainment your way. Jimmy hello there. Still to come, music from 2 chainz. You know our next guest from curb your enthusiasm, workaholics, 22 jump street, and eastbound down. Starting tomorrow, she presides over Scarlett Johanssons very bad Bachelorette Party in rough night. Ing, before you go, you have to do a human friendipede. Like a photo Human Centipede where theyre sewn together mouth to bum, but theyre friends, so its special. Might not be appropriate. If i dont post a ton of pictures from this weekend its going to look suspicious, like we killed someone. Okay. I cant believe im saying this but i think we should do the human friend yourpede. Okay. I get the middle you want middle . Jimmy please welcome jillian bell [ cheers and applause ] wow. Wow. Jimmy something weird, andy samberg had a nose that looked just like that. Thats crazy, i did see that earlier. He got a nose job or something. Im just a genuine witch. No, im going to take this off now and be a human being. Hi jimmy you should be a human being. How are you doing . I want to tell you something, i know this wont mean much to most everyone. But i was excited to learn that you were from las vegas. Because i am from las vegas. We are both from las vegas. Jimmy and i get excited when other people from las vegas, you know, become popular. And you have done that. Well, thank you. Jimmy how did you do that from las vegas . How did you because most people go to las vegas to end their careers. [ laughter ] rather than to begin them. Right, right. I started early. I did improv at 8 years old, which is really weird. Jimmy what is an 8yearold improv set like . Im like, give me a place, give me a no. No, we just played around. I have sort of a wild imagination. And i think my parents sort of wanted to get me out of the house for a bit because i was a lot. [ laughter ] jimmy i see. But yeah, i ended up really loving it. And kept taking improv class. Have you had the experience that ive had where when you grow up in las vegas, you dont know its weird that youre growing up in las vegas . Zero idea. Jimmy you move and then everybody goes, you grew up in las vegas . What was that like . Which hotel did you live in . [ laughter ] jimmy exactly. Im like, it was a motel. [ laughter ] yeah, no, its very odd. I mean, i always thought that Grocery Stores had slot machines in them. Jimmy its true. There are slot machines in the Grocery Stores. Every 7eleven has a slot machine. Yeah, for prom i went to blue man group. [ laughter ] jimmy you did. Yeah, i thought that was a normal thing. Dinner and a show. What show did you go to for prom . Everyones like what . Jimmy yeah, prom would be not that i ever went. But im told you didnt go . Jimmy no. Would you well, we dont have jimmy it wasnt a choice. Dont worry, im over it, okay . [ laughter ] hes so cool. Hes so cool. Youre doing great. Jimmy no, it wasnt about being cool, it was about being unattractive. [ laughter ] but prom would be held at like Caesars Palace or something. Yes, yeah. I worked at Caesars Palace. Jimmy where did you work there . I worked at this place called Banana Republic, heard of it . Jimmy yes, i have. I was a greeter. Welcome to Banana Republic so many different ways all day long. Jimmy they have Department Stores now. They didnt have those back in those days. Did you go to buffets and stuff with your parents . Oh, yeah. Hi my dad did advertising for the orleans casino. I would just have a plate of shrimp. I dated a lot. Jimmy so you would get to go to the orleans buffet for free, was that the thing . Yes, my dad had a stamp everyone had a comp to everything in las vegas. Jimmy in those days they did. I think that has changed now. Yeah, no, you didnt get into anything now. Jimmy we went to see siegfried and roy for free in las vegas when i was a kid. Oh jimmy that was a rare moment where my dad like got something. Because that was the only time wed ever go anyplace is if there were some free, like 99 cent anything over 99 cents in las vegas is unacceptably expensive. When you started to have to pay for parking your car, were like, what is happening . Because everything was free. Jimmy valet parking, yeah. I think theyre changing that in las vegas. They are. Boo jimmy its all very sad. Shame on you jimmy i know, its not enough that you give that money anyway into the casino. Absolutely. Jimmy when you went in there. Even the supermarkets you have change in your hand, you just put it in the machine. You just play a slot. Jimmy you didnt have to carry your change around like an animal. [ laughter ] well, this is so great. Now youre in this big movie with all these bit way, are you an impressionist . Do you do impressions . I do a couple. Jimmy who do you do . I can do drew barrymore, and i can do Kate Mckinnon. Jimmy oh, really . Kate mckinnon is new . Two, so youre not an impressionist r. But Kate Mckinnon is an impressionist. She is. Jimmy you do an impression of an impressionist. Thats very meta in a way. Do a little of that. I dont know if we have a sense of what kates if you see her in interviews, she does sort of like wow. A lot of this. Its sort of yeah. Uh wow. And im so happy to be here. Uh a lot of that. Jimmy does she like when you do that . I dont know. Well find out. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im going to guess not. Maybe not. Jimmy its funny you do that. I think i always felt when she was doing that, she was maybe doing an impression doing a character. That is her. Jimmy of somebody we dont know. I know. Jimmy did you do relatives and stuff like that growing up . Oh, my nana was pretty good. She was romanian. She was actually this is her word. She said she was the first woman to ever be behind the front desk of a las vegas casino. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah, and i believe it was caesars pal has or something. Jimmy oh, wow. Yeah. Jimmy thats pretty crazy. Theres no way to verify it. No. Somebody look into it. Jimmy so she was the first woman allowed to greet people as they came in and check them . Yeah, and she was quite a character. She was like leather pants at christmas dinner. Jimmy oh, really. And fake enhancements. Jimmy she would wear that to your house . Oh, yeah. Jimmy oh, really . Oh, yeah. Shed walk in on my grandparents that were older and shed be like like making fun of them. Because she was so cool. Jimmy turns out it is a weird place to grow up. It is a weird place. Jimmy even nana has breast implants. She does. Jimmy its great to have you here. Congratulations. Thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the movie is called rough night. It opens tomorrow. Jillian bell, everybody well be right back with 2 chainz [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Have to travel from its source to the bottle . A hundred miles . A thousand miles . How about less than a mile and a half . Crystal geyser always bottled at the mountain source. Studying to be a dentist and she gave me advice. She said. My daughter is. Dad go pro with crest prohealth. 4 out of 5 dentists confirm. These crest prohealth. Ps help maintain a. Professional clean. Go pro with Crest Pro Health crest prohealth. Really brought my mouth. To the next level. How fafrom its sourcelpine spring to the bottle . Travel how about less than a mile and a half . Crystal geyser is the only major us spring water bottled at the mountain source. Jimmy the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy thanks to andy samberg, jillian bell, apologies to matt damon, we did run out of time for him. Nightline is next but first, his new album pretty girls like trap music is out tomorrow. Here with the song its a vibe, with help from the trap choir, trey songz and ty dolla ign, 2 chainz yeah yeah yeah thats a vibe she wanna vibe thats a vibe yeah uh thats a vibe its a vibe thats a vibe yeah yeah yeah oh thats a vibe oh its a vibe thats a vibe yeah yeah thats a vibe she wanna vibe yeah thats a vibe yeah yeah yeah yeah thats a vibe she wanna vibe thats a vibe this vibe yeah yeah late night oh its a vibe let me slide oh its a vibe yeah yeah dim the lights oh its a vibe yeah get high get high its a vibe oh its a vibe yeah its a vibe dont you like your drippin gushin drippin down your thighs its a vibe get high diggin deep while im lookin in your eyes vibe is the realest i know you feel it its a vibe different vibe this my vibe all the ladies like it okay so i got the ambiance just where i want it and if you get paid its solely based on your performance my ego is enormous like my crib in california if you aint got no heart man you gonna need a donor now i said im from the corner of the atl where we got that clientele avoid paper trails broke so many bales down that im shell shocked i held glocks sold rocks by the mailbox got a vibe make a young chick turn her neck got a vibe make a cougar wanna spend a check got a vibe make an asian want hibachi got a vibe make italian want versace carbon copies get declined im the pioneer beat that up i need riot gear any volunteers gas in a ziploc now thats loud and clear this one outta here this is our year thats a vibe thats a vibe thats a vibe oh thats a vibe yeah yeah thats a vibe its a vibe its a vibe thats a vibe yeah yeah its a vibe am i your type tight maybe ill spend the night yeah yeah thats a vibe bust it bust it wide this the type of i like yeah yeah thats a vibe its a vibe thats a vibe oh its a vibe yeah yeah its a vibe yeah yeah yeah thats a vibe thats a vibe thats a vibe oh thats a vibe yeah yeah thats a vibe thats a vibe yeah yeah am i your type tight maybe ill spend the night yeah yeah thats a vibe bust it bust it wide you know my type its a vibe yeah yeah yeah you know my type my money ripe ima jump it tonight yaya tonight, a special edition of nightline. Declassified the Chelsea Manning story. Convicted of the largest leak of government secrets in american history. So many people call you a traitor. Many call you a hero. Who is Chelsea Manning . Now after seven years in prison, Transgender Army soldier Chelsea Manning speaking out. I have a responsibility to the public. A lightning rod for some of the most incendiary issues of our time. Private manning is a traitor. Her fight to be her true self from inside a mens military prison. And the letter to president obama that helped win her release. Do you feel as though you owe the American Public an apology . This special edition of nightline will be right back

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