His name is george washington. George is at 100 is no way im going to get there no matter what i tell you. Oh, man, what about the wall . Is it moving along . The wall is moving along, its moving along rapidly. Its beautiful, stronger, bigger, better and cheaper, sometimes when they dont give you the money, you to make it cheaper. Its true, do we have to pay . You pay for the very distinct privilege of not having to pay, but you had to pay a lot. Now you dont have to pay anymore. I have no idea what that meant. [laughter] but i ask, do you need a magic wand . You need a magic wand to bring back manufacturing, well, we will tell sleepy joe that we found the magic wand. At least he has brilliant talented campaign people. We have a lot of brilliant brillianttalent campaign people, they cost a fortune and they never give me any ideas, im only kidding. You know hes not kidding, it makes you wonder what country youre in. Maga, maga, we are in maga country i can tell you. I can tell you maga is no longer the motto, its keep america great. See the first motto maga said its time for a change, the new one says lets preserve what weve changed. I cant wait to see the slogan for his third term. [laughter] [applause] anyway, thats impossible, people, its impossible. But as he throws his First Political tailgate the orlando paper pulled first two and antiendorsement of trump even before the dems have a nominee, meaning they hate trump so much the dems could not nominate a zombie raccoon and go with zombie raccoon, but enough of bernie sanders, i still think its infantile much like cnn after being insulted at the rally actually shut their coverage down, proving how emotional they really are, im surprise they didnt say say i hate all of you and ran upstairs and closed the door sobbing into a pillow, at least they provided coverage for creepy stuff. The academic definition of concentration camps are targeting a community and putting them in detention camps without a trial. Thats what the Trump Administration is doing. And the genocide of the jews, yes. So as one side celebrates a country, the other floats in an impervious idiotic bubble insulting Holocaust Victims and justifying with lame semantics, again, the contrast, this is trump. [laughter] [cheers and applause] crazy group and this is the critics. [laughter] you can do it. Now, im bad at predicting things but the side having most fun usually win, on the republican side its fun and on the democrats its a funk, deep small smelly bottom of the hamper funk, you know where the socks have gone stiff. Every candidate staking out the gloomiest vision of the country, thank heaven trump will be livetweeting the debate. How often is that . People wont be watching the debates, theyll be watching him watching debates. If someone can make Amy Klobuchar interesting its trump and his tweet machine. [laughter] hard to see how special it is when youre in it, one of those times that can be revealed back at it decades from now. Lucky for you i took the time machine in the future and found the perfect product. I own tom, do you forget in just a few minutes, well, im thrilled to share with you a collection of no other. I wont talk about jeb bush, i will not say, i will not say hes low energy, i will not say it. I will not say it. Now for the First Time Ever unforgettable trump hits are together in one musthave selection. Star unicorn entertainment and greg present the best of trump. We will build the wall. And who is going to pay for the wall . Before we go any further id like to introduce my cohost kat kemf. You might recognize with titanic 17, jacks revenge, but today im excited to look back on the voice that defined an era. Donald supported the invasion of iraq. Wrong. Thats absolutely proved over and over again. Wrong. He actually the best of trump is great so when you want to have friends over. Like me if you dont have friends. Im officially running for president of the United States and we are going to make our country great again. This collection brings back so many memories like before my wife left me for geraldo. Thats right, tom, with more than 47,000 hours of content youll be transported back to all the most iconic moments, untold. Let me run the country and you run cnn and if you did it well your ratings before if you wanted this much trump, youd have to watch the news 24 7 and ignore your family completely. Dont i know it, kat. My son still wont talk to me but now i can get the greatest trump moments all in one place, whenever i want i can see classics like get him out of here. Get him out of here, please, get him out, out. Out, go home to mommy. How was your nap, kat . Great, tom. Every clip tells a great story. Thats right. Who could forget bing, bing, bong, bing, bing. Bing, bing, bong, bong, you know what that is . You wont find this collection on cnn . Youre telling me, do you remember wheres nick . Nick, stand up. [applause] come here. Get up here, nick. Order trump hits today, call any time within the next 4 years and youll limited edition lock of the president s hair, no additional charge. Trump hits. [cheers and applause] welcome tonights guest, has more guts than belly contest, technician Staff Sergeant joye joe. His comedy special ive got the house now streaming everywhere, jim florentine. [cheers and applause] her glasses are thick but part of her stick, kat tempf. Hes a shoplifter he can actually lift an entire shop, sidekick and host of enough said, tyrus. [cheers and applause] joe, what do you make of the Campaign Kickoff . Well, i love the video, by the way. Cat jumping. Stop, stop. Hes cool with it. [laughter] im a bit of onetrick pony over here. [laughter] listen, arguing with Holocaust Survivors over the definition of trancation camp, if ive reached that level of my political career, put a fork with me, im done, that level of stupidity doesnt have any place for american politics which leads me to believe the conspiracy theorist. Anyway. [laughter] shall i stop there . Yeah. Im going to get mad. What did you make of the week so far . I thought he was great and got criticism because he was complaining the first hour, he has every right to complain. Theyve been on him, democrats wont work with them, Mueller Report hanging over his head, media against him, media is like a nagging wife, they pick at him. Look at the way he yawn, can you believe it. Like a man who just got divorced. Exactly. [laughter] thats why my comedy special i got the house. Did you get the house . Yeah. Was it a nice house . Yeah. Just call me petey prenup. The guy is an animal. [cheers and applause] i kind of want you to get the movie that you said you were in which you said was was titanic 14 . 17, jacks revenge. Ive been writing it, yes. You make an excellent elderly kat tempf. Thank you. I want to go back to what you were talking about aoc and concentration camp thing, that was so stupid i was trying to think of what it was like so i wrote a bunch of analogies and i couldnt find which one was best so i will saying all. Thats like saying cold having a cancer and phone dying is like your mom dying, thats like saying that wearing a tie thats too tight is like being beheaded, thats like saying that eating hot soup and having it burn your mouth is like being burned alive while eating hot soup. Interesting. And thats like saying breaking a fingernail is as bad as having a nail in your finger. [laughter] [cheers and applause] i dont know i didnt know which one to pick so they all made the air. Yes, tyrus. I think thats accurate because there were no onesentence to describe the moronicness of what she said. Right. Somebody breaks into your house, trips and false and breaks their neck and you go to jail for murder because thats kind of the same thing. [applause] trump had a big week, kicked it off and we didnt see any democrats again, like it was once he got on the news, the only thing we had going on was they are really mad at joe biden for telling how it is. Yeah. Cory booker was mad at joe because joe told the truth of actually happened in historic event, not something he made up on twitter. Cory booker is funny to me, im all for civil rights and fighting for our stuff but going after joe biden, he led the legislation, everybody know that lynch mob is a crime. Its officially a crime. [laughter] yeah. Like we didnt already know that if you form a lynch mob youre going to jail. Thank you, corey. Youre prefacing the next segment, we will talk about that, all right, you want to story from joe biden, well, youre not going get one, thats next. What do we want for dinner . Burger i want a sugar cookie i want a bucket of chicken i want. Its the easiest, because its the cheesiest kraft. For the win win. At red lobster. Featuring three new dishes that are planked to perfection. Feast on new cedarplank lobster shrimp. Or new colossal shrimp salmon with a citrusy drizzle. Tender, smoky and together on one plank. But only till june 30th, so hurry in. We were paying an arm and a leg for postage. I remember setting up shipstation. One or two clicks and everything was up and running. I was printing out labels and saving money. Shipstation saves us so much time. It makes it really easy and seamless. Pick an order, print everything you need, slap the label onto the box, and its ready to go. Our costs for shipping were cut in half. Just like that. Shipstation. The 1 choice of online sellers. Go to shipstation. Com tv and get 2 months free. Shipstation. The too many people oa restless nights sleep. Theres a better choice. Aleve pm. The only one to combine a safe sleep aid and the 12hour painrelieving strength of aleve. That dares to last into the morning. So you feel refreshed. Aleve pm. Theres a better choice. Now the greg gutfeld show presents the 2020 camp today. [cheers and applause] its a civil war over being civil at fundraiser this week. Joe biden was talking about the importance of working together even with people you disagree like bigots who were also democrats because thats what you did back then, that didnt go over well. The reputation of segregation of people if they had their way i would not be standing here as member of the United States senate is i think its misinformed and its wrong. I know that i was raised to speak truth to power and that i should never apology for doing that and Vice President shouldnt need this lesson. Thank you, sparticus. Of course, asked joe biden to apologize. Apologize for what . He knows better. Im theres no racist bone in my body. Its now how you do it. Period. But then congressman john lewis vouched for biden. We worked with people that were members of the klan, people who opposed us. Do the other candidates think hes a racist, probably not, are they trying to knock biden out the top . Of course. They dont care, will someone bring up on debate stage next week, we will see. Should i stop asking and answering my own questions . [cheers and applause] [applause] we are talking about this at the end, lets continue, do you feel any sympathy for joe . No. Theres no reason to feel sympathy, he was telling something that actually happened. There was a time in this country that we had to work with certain individuals who prefer me serving drinks and not being on camera, thats a part of our history, ughy, or whatever, his whole point was he worked for common good and passed legislation to stop those types of beliefs because he had to work with them, find a way, so people who are legit joe crowe tshirt rocking racist who are proud to stick it out, he can work with them. Exact opposite of what he believes, joe has been a good dude when it comes to respecting different races. Except for indians at 7eleven. Yeah. It is a different story. It is a different story. The point is he can work with those people on those types of situations and we live in a world today that nobody can Work Together and its not even that. Theres not. Theres no issue between the two sides that something is polarizing as civil rights and they found a way but we cant find a way and thats pathetic. Yeah, what do you make of this [cheers and applause] they are going to eat him alive, arent they . The Mainstream Media is starting to turn on him and keep attack. Now, what was that 3 weeks ago. [laughter] i love it. Flipflopping, fumbling. Hes almost like willy maize when he played for the mets. Yes, yes. When he played the chiefs. I did a sports analogy. [cheers and applause] do you see him making it to the nomination . I dont know, i dont know, im not a fortune teller, i just think its so interesting that they are attacking each other so much especially when people like bill de blasio attack him u who is that for, its not going to help him win the nomination, its probably just going to help trump eventually win, because they are going to have to attack each other, its like if youre a boxer, im going to do a sports analogy too. Yeah. You have to box 20something people before get to go final match and the other dudes have been chilling, itll be a lot harder and thats exactly what they are doing. Thats an interesting boxing metaphor. [cheers and applause] last word to you. I mean, biden would have the opportunity to be the trump of the democrats, right, apologize for what, im not sorry, im already there and the problem is hes been around for too long. Yeah. The goodole boy, come on, man. Huge. He did this to mitt romney when he said mitt romney will put you all the chains. I feel bad for the guy but at the same time its like you got in bed with the smear machine and now the smear machine is screwing you. Yeah. [cheers and applause] all right, up next, pretty good team, right . Hey, who are you . Oh, hey jeff, im a car thief. What . im here to steal your car because, well, thats my job. What . What . . What . laughing what . . What . what . [crash] what . haha, it happens. 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He says the ice was to build a Global Coalition against what he describes as the Worlds Largest state sponsor of terror. President trump giving congress two weeks to work on a solution to the problems of the southern border. I. C. E. Agents were prepared to begin a massive roundup of Illegal Immigrants today. But a spokesman for the agency says the president decided to delay the operation after information about the raids was leaked. I am jon scott i will see you at the top of the hour for the fox report. Back to the greg gutfeld show. Yes,. [cheers and applause] maybe a french horn, yes. [cheers and applause] how do you like that growing out of your skull. Perhaps this horn. [laughter] you really think the music makes it pleasurable, thats why i have it playing in my spa. All right, i dont know what i meant there. The study could be full of crap because some magazine is debunking saying it has more to do with poster but i dont care that its false because i like the story. I like it too. Im in heavy metal music, the devils music, ive worn horns for years. Its kind of nerdy that i will get it from my iphone 8 horns. Yeah. I much rather get it from the lust greeting [laughter] thats way cooler. And pornography is offering you the ability to satisfy your needs without the messiness of human contact, we are turning into cyber lords. Thats okay. I saw the horn story and should have been concerned seeing as i stair stare at my phone literally all day long, if they are real, i definitely have the horns and i dont care because what else am i supposed to look at that, like the world around me . Barf. You cant see your own horns. I dont understand the downside of being on the phone all of the time because phones are much more interesting than most people except, except for maybe one. Who . No, one downside. Okay. [laughter] it would make me very easy to kidnap, i wouldnt realize its happening, i would look 3 days later and say, wait, whose dungeon is this . Keep texts. Keep texting her, who is this, i want to know who you are. [laughter] that would be great. So joe, would you mind having some horns . Listen, what i read the headline, when they started doing scientific studies . [laughter] listen, humans are the only ones that adapt to our environment, we wear jackets instead of growing fur, its true that we are wearing our pinky toe because we wear shows. My pinky toe is just stupid. Right, you look at pinky toe and its like why. Mine is the out of rubber. [laughter] im complaining to joey that i dont like my pinky toe. My pinky toe. [laughter] so when i saw this i thought they meant having your phone up there with bone spur, how did people read books for 2,000 years, i dont know. I think this is not entirely true, tyrus, however, the greater idea that the human, the human mind or the human body is in community own with technology, we are producing offspring thats commingling of electronic, of computers and humans. Right. [laughter] i did not drop acid. Good science story and im all for evolution but this doesnt make sense. Its in the back. Its only pushing this way. If your little theory, wouldnt it be a phone holder. [laughter] that would be like, wow, kat can have more free time with her other hand to drink while she texts. Its all about the headlines, the hell with the facts of the story, one kid has bad posture and apparently stuff growing off the back of his neck and the best thing parents cocome up with is bone. Its like, you know, when they would tell you that you would go blind when you [laughter] i didnt have to finish the line. Up next what an embarrassing slogan on plastic bag get you to stop using them, yeah, me get ready for the insurancethemed experience of a lifetime. Its progressive on ice. Everything you love about Car Insurance the discounts. The rate comparisons. And flo in a boat. Insurance adventure awaits at progressive on ice. Tickets not available now or ever. 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Hey, whatre neighbors for . Its beautiful. Run with us. Search john deere x300 for more. [laughter] im okay. But prevagen helps your brain with an ingredient originally discovered. In jellyfish. In clinical trials, prevagen has been shown to improve shortterm memory. Prevagen. Healthier brain. Better life. The stupid nags want your plastic bags, a Grocery Store in vancouver, they have them there, has introduced plastic bags with embarrassing logos to shame customers into bringing their own reusable ones. The bags make it look like the items come from places like the colon care coopt and into the weird adult video. [cheers and applause] popular. So these are supposed to be embarrassing, colon care, ointment and porn, thats my wednesday. Yeah. [cheers and applause] especially in the summer with the extra hours, now, stores in vancouver are required by law to come up with plants to reduce plastic bags, but people think these bags are funny so they want to use them. [cheers and applause] so here is what what you have to do, vancouver, just say whats actually inside the bag and youre good to go, cheap wine can make your pain go away until your divorce is finalized, shes taking me for everything, or assorted lunch meats for my stupid brat, they make my life hell but i still have to feed them. He smells like vinegar and never slips fly all the top. Stuff for the itching and the burning, mostly the itching and sometimes for the burning too. All right, kat, would these bags shame you . No. [laughter] no. I want all of these bags. [laughter] who wants a bag that just says cvs . I thrive and survive on attention and that could be very exhausting not only for me but for all of those around me. Puts a strain on the relationship and youre telling me if i go to vancouver and i dont bring the bag i dont have to do anything for attention, i can just carry it around and people will look at me, i never have to eat soup on Instagram Live again. [cheers and applause] i like these bags because its kind of like, if youre sitting on a bus its a way to keep somebody away from you, right . Thats a good idea. Look, i would collect them like art. I have two, i have her piece bag. [laughter] im missing the audi bag. Why does every cashier put one item in each bag. Yes. [applause] that is so true, i end up with 12 bags and i bought 11 items, tyrus. We are missing the point here, this is more of the stores and the companies that are so full of crap when it comes to they care about the environment, they are trying to turn a buck, they are trying to make you buy the stupid reusable bag that is you keep having to buy. They cared so much about the environment, they wouldnt have plastic bags there. If they dont do that. Everything in their stores joey sorry u do you want to donate to such and such, if you say no, everyone looks at you because the button beeps louder. Same with the bag, 12 bucks for a bag that looks this horrible. If you dont clean the bag, joey, people are getting sick from reusable bag because arent cleaning them. If you buy vegetables, i dont. [laughter] i dont know. I eat all my food raw and ive never gotten sick. Really . I do kill my own animal. Good of you. I love to kill animals. No, everybody thinks the food at the store wasnt killed. Yeah, yeah. It grew that way in plastic. But the thing about the bags, perfect example from canada and the United States, some canadian store, came up with these, what they underestimated were the thousands of american who is will fly a thousand miles putting carbon into the atmosphere to do Instagram Story holding one of the bags in vancouver. Exactly. Think about this, what about all the aging celebrities with plastic surgery, will they have to have little insulting stains on their face, i dont know what it means. No, the surgery itself is insulting when the human duck walks up to you and says remember me. [laughter] all right. Its true. Up next oj is on twitter and other things i never thought id hear myself say limu emu doug look limu. A civilian buying a new car. Lets go. Limus right. Liberty mutual can save you money by customizing your Car Insurance, so you only pay for what you need. Oh. Yeah, ive been a customer for years. Huh. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. I can taste your beer. I want to taste his beer. [ indistinct conversations ] Samuel Adams Sam 76 finally a refreshing lager that you can taste. Today, lifechanging technology from abbott is helping hunt them down at their source. Because the faster we can identify new viruses, the faster we can get to stopping them. The most personal technology, is technology with the power to change your life. Life. To the fullest. Oj is on twitter and he sounds bitter, launched twitter account this week with pretty ominous message after a very friendly greeting, hey, twitter world. Hey, twitter, this is yours truly, coming soon to twitter you will get to read my thoughts and opinions just about everything. Hey, twitter world, for years people have been able to say whatever they want to say about me with no accountability, but now i get to challenge a lot of that bs, this should be a lot of fun, god bless. [laughter] and god is like dont drag me into this, oj. You think people would accuse double murder on there and close out account in protest, theres so many other worthwhile things to do with your time, id rather be doing this. Yeah. That did not go over well, what a mess. I think this is a bad idea, short temper and social media is a more concentrated version of reallife hostilities, i dont think his short fuse and twitter is a good mix. When he said i got each with people, i immediately deleted all my oj jokes. [laughter] he has the time now. He does. He says i want to set the record straight, nothing about the murder setting record straight. Listen look, listen, i didnt sleep with kris jenner. Not the double murder. A rumor that you should keep floating out there, kris jenner. I wouldnt acknowledge that. That bothered him. That bothered him. What do you make of this . Should this drive people off twitter . [laughter] can i get a closeup . Yes. Oj, go away. You went to jail for 20 years for taking your own stuff back. You didnt get the hint. Is there any lawyers that are still alive and can say, dont talk, go away. Bye. You know joey, this is going people are going to love tweeting at him just to get him mad. Yeah, its already there. Theyll go look at comments under all tweets. Its a rabbit hole that youll go down for a long time, what devastates me about this is twitters is 20 years too late. What if we had twitter when he was in the bronco, hey, twitter world, it isnt me in the bronco, im not driving and im just riding along. The legal record says hes innocent. What is he setting it straight for . Yeah. Kat, what if he starts following you . I dont know, greg, i ate a lot of rice pudding today. I mean, like a lot of rice pudding. Who does that . Apparently me, im talking multiple servings of rice pudding where it didnt make me feel bad physically but made me feel bad emotionally, like, really, ka, the, you will eat all the rice pudding, how did you think you were going to feel good after that and i didnt really feel like, you know, i ate so much pudding i didnt feel like coming out here. What are these people going to care what i have to say when i cant control myself around ice pudding, you know who doesnt feel that way, oj. I was trying to figure out where this was going to come, how tie that to rice pudding it was an alarming of rice pudding and im having a hard time thinking about anything else so the rice pudding was going to come into the show at some point. Im glad it was in the oj segment. Juice does go with rice pudding. 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I run a veterans transition program, camp, its a week long. Post911 veteran, if you want to go through a week with me and transition, go find a job. Thats great. [cheers and applause] and jimmy. Ill be in dallas, texas next week at hyenas comedy club. [laughter] [applause] hyenas. All right, kat, what youve got . Thursday june 27th at Caroline Broadway in new york city, tyrus and me will be there doing live show, its going to be fun, please come, it really was so much fun. Yeah. All right. You and tyrus together. You have to go. Get tickets. Get tickets, thanks, joey, thanks, kat, tyrus. Im greg gutfeld, i love you, america. [cheers and applause] jon president trumps delay on deportation raids brings mixed reaction as the president puts pressure on democrats to help fix immigration laws. Good evening, im jon scott, youre watching the fox report. Jon a spokesperson for immigration and Customs Enforcement says the president s decision to delay the operation protects i. C. E. Officers after information about the raids was leaked. President trump telling lawmakers they have two weeks to work on a, quote, solution to asylum and loophole problems at the southern border, but democrats and republicans appear to be miles apart from reaching a consensus. This is a mess that this administration has created