[cheers and applause] i cant believe we have a picture for that. [laughter] all the democrats have to do to gain like an 80 to 20 advantage in this country, all that stands in their way, is a mildly competent impation of the Health Care Policy they battled so hard to keep. Lets take a look. The word glitch has been used by the white house. Jon that sounds promising. [ laughter ] lets hear more. Healthcare. Gov is plagued by glitches. Riddled with glitches. Glitches. Snafu. Bugs, kinks, whatever you want to call this. Jon glitches. Yes apparently the health care. Com goff has 99 problems healthcare. Gov has 99 problems but a glitch is all of them. [laughter] lets introduce the new segment spinning beach ball of health care. What re talking about here . Page freezes . Many are having trouble just getting on to the web site, logging on. Jon okay so the first step doesnt work. [ laughter ] well, i have a feeling after that its [laughter] wrong information on Medicaid Eligibility and long delays in timeouts. Jon thats not so bad its also a feature of nfl games in america. America loves those. Confusing error messages, broken calculators. Jon the bleep call cue later doesnt work . Calculator doesnt work . The one thing included in computers since 1972, you couldnt make that work . What is the only thing that calculator does is spell out the word boobs no matter what you plug into it . How does it not work . Give it to us straight, how bad is it . According to a poll by the Associated Press fewer than one in ten people would who tried to sign up were actually to complete the process. Thats a success rate of less than 10 . Jon how bad is that . 20 is the number of dentists who recommend sugared gum. [ laughter ] how low is it . According to a recent poll more of this country believes obamacare has been repealed than have been able to sign up for obamacare. [ laughter ] the whole point of web sites is to design them so that it is nearly impossible to not sign up for something. Every time i go on amazon has a 6 ill overnight myself seasons of night court. Are you sure you want to leave this message . Yes, oops turns out i ordered something. I think the number one point about the rollout is theres huge interest. 19 million individual visits to the web site its huge. Jon yeah, thats huge, youve angered a lot of people. The number one worry before we started was are people going to be interested . Will people sign snup and the answer signup . And that the answer is yes. Jon yeah, but their number one worry was will i be table get Health Insurance out of this thing and the answer appears to be 90 . At least for the 10 percenters able to log on and enroll life is beautiful. Theres flawed data everything from duplicate enrollments, to missing data fields to problems with eligibility and spouses reported as children. [ laughter ] jon what kind of Computer Program forces you to mary your own marry your own children . How dare you . [laughter] turns out the obamacare rollout was plagued by a lot more than just glitches. So much so the president of the United States, who as you know, does not usually man this countrys it support center summoned us all this morning to the rose guard frn a little Glenn Gary Glenn Ross closer schpiel. The Health Insurance is working just fine. Instead of paying 1600 a more, we have a plan that will only cost us 962 6912 a month. The product is g. I want people to get the great product. The product is working. Its really good. [ laughter ] jon when did the president of the United States turn into gill from the simpsons . Shes a beaut. You cant beat a coleco. How many can i put you down for . A lot. Please say a lot, i need this. [ laughter ] jon this is a good product. All right. But listen [cheers and applause] he didnt stop baby. He kept on selling. You just heard janices story. He owns her own small business. She became the first woman to enroll in coverage through delawares exchange. Jon so thats one. [ laughter ] you know people say you cant use the web site, have you told them about janice from delaware . Hey b you you know what god bless. She signed up. She deserves to be up there to prove it could be done easily. It took her seven hours on the phone and on line. She had to go there you and clean out the cookies and then she was able to sign up but she signed up from the small state of delaware. Jon she had to move. She had to move and shes no longer married but it is done. Shes done. She had to move d oh, she had to do a giant tattoo of a spider. [ laughter ] on her neck but its done. She has it its done. As it turns out even the photo op to address the poorly planned rollout of obamacare suffered from a clear lack of planning as evidenced by the decision to place the pregnant woman with diabetes in the sun next to the president. [laughter] good save. [laughter] give the woman some water but fear not, help is on the way. Weve had some of the best it talent in the entire country join the team and were well into a tech surge to fix the problem. A surge. Jon you are web site is so bleep , we have to use the same strategy we used to salvage the iraq war. Well our own john oliver has been trying to sign up for obamacare. He joins us right now. John. Hi, jon is that you . Thank god. Please dont leave, dont leave, jon, please. Jon are where are you . Here is what happened. I went to healthcare. Gov like you asked. I gave them all my information. I pressed enter. There was a giant sucking sound. Next thing i knew i was inside the web site, jon. Im stuck in here. Its all of. Awful. Its horrible in here. Jon there are still a few glitches . Glitches look at me, jon. I didnt get a four on found sound screen i got sucked in the mainframe. Glitches. Jon is that code behind you . Isnt it supposed to be zeros and ones . Its fours and fives here. Thats elementarial coding. Jon do you at least have Health Insurance now . I dont. Im still being processed but like the president says the product is go, jon. Its just that there is a small risk that applicants might get suctd into a subjectinged into a cyber bureaucratic nightmare with no escape. Jon have you tried hitting escape. Thank you sanjay, that was the first thing i tried. The first thing. My hope is that theyll begin to fix in some way. No, jon, i have to get out of here. Jon is that what i think it is . How old is this software, jon . Jon wow that was unbelievable. Well, the web site is very busy so you cant get you help right now. Quickly coment come back jon you hate to see that. John oliver, everybody. [cheers and applause] ers aheers aht back. [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. I dont know if you saw this. Very Exciting Development in my home state. Ladies and gentlemen, its officially passed midnight. Marriage is equal in new jersey. [cheers and applause] jon lets get ready to couple [cheers and applause] at long last, people from new jersey can legally marry each other. I think thats what it means. Its wedding day for hundreds of same sex couples in new jersey. Gay marriage now flel that state. Jon that makes a lot more sense. I thought it was just that people from new jersey are allowed to marry other people from new jersey. You know, i now pronounce you bada bing and bada boom. You may now bada bing the bada boom. [ laughter ] apparently what happened was last month a lower court judge ruled that new jersey had to allow gay marriages and the state Supreme Court ruled 70 that they had so start today. Why today . Greg and michael arent getting any younger. It was an exciting night and few more excited that newark mayor elect. I have to do this by law. [ laughter ] jon is this one of those stop and frisk deals . Is that what is happen something in what does he have to do by law . Why is he even talking about the law . Maybe i should just let him all right. So i have to do this by law and so before we exchange the vows, i must ask if theres anyone present here today that should know of any reason why joseph and orville should not be marriaged married, speak now or forever hold your peace. Jon in new jersey that is the law. You are required by law to ask if anyone objects to a wedding. Not just weddings in new jersey you have to do that for everything. Its part of the states you got a problem with that act 1794. At any bar in new jersey at some point during the night, somebody looks at you and says do you have a problem with that . They dont want to fight they are obeying the law. Time for the special moment theyve been waiting for all their lives. Do you wish to be joined in marriage. Yes. Yes. Yes. And i wish to join you. Not until marriage but join you together. [ laughter ] jon too late it already got weird so. I declare joasive and orville to be lawful spouses in the state of new jersey. [cheers and applause] you may kiss your spouse [cheers and applause] all right jon getting weirder all right [cheers and applause] you may hug your mayor. [cheers and applause] jon leave them alone. It is not about you. And you think thats bad you should have seen what happened during their first dance. Let them go well be right back. [cheers and appla [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. My guest tonight former chairman of the Federal Reserve board his new book is called the map and the territory. Please welcome back to the program alan greenspan. Sir [cheers and applause] how are you, my friend . [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] how are you . Please, have a heat seethe there, my have a street my friend. Yes, sir. Jon the book is called the map and the territory. Can we wait until i stop laughing. Jon you like it back there . Chocolate back there. Its a good time. Im very talented. [laughter] jon so in at the same time, you are the fed chairman, in 2008 you testify that the one thing about this financial collapse that you didnt see coming was that you thought the banks would have been better stewards of their own capital, that they would have been better self regulators. Yep. Jon and that this book was your journey into finding out why they were terrible. Please have it at it. [ laughter ] i couldnt have said it better. Jon thank you very much i appreciate that why were they terrible at regulating their own risks . I dont think they fully understood the types of risks that were out there. Its interesting in the financial business to try to figure out why markets behave as they do. Its tough. A lot of people think they can do it very easily, but we really cant forecast all that well. We pretend that we can but we really cant. And markets do very weird things because its been it reacts to the way people behave and sometimes people are a little screwy. [ laughter ] jon you just learned this . [laughter] people are always screwy. Its greed, isnt it, its greed and hubris, no . Yeah, but its also a lot of other things. Look, i was brought up in the canyons of wall street and i know what screwiness is. I watched it all of my life. What is very different about this is that we that is those of us who did analysis always thought that screwiness would wash out and that all you had to look at was the real numbers in the real world. That was right. And ill tell you that was wrong. And ill tell you its very hard for me to convey but the simple premise which we all made was that people would act rationally in their longterm self interest made a huge impact in how you viewed how the economy would function. Jon even if you look at the simple numbers, these guys are, you know, taking 30 to 1 risks on stuff that they are not capitalized on. Thats not even studying human behavior. Thats looking at a basic Balance Sheet and going what is this . Precisely. We began to see what was going, you couldnt believe that there would be people who would be that disregarding of their own companies. How can you run, as you say 30 times jon on the leverage. Isnt it because they dont pay the penalty. The rewards they were getting, the system was incentivized for the crazy shortterm bursts of rewards. Back in 1970, the New York Stock Exchange said that broker dealers which is what all these people are could incorporate. Prior to then they were all partnerships. Let me tell you something about a partnership. Your partners dont let you take any risk. I remember they wouldnt lend you a nickle overnight and the system worked. It did not get anybody failing because the equity was protected. As soon as they started to go to corporations, at the took risks for exactly the reason you suggested. Jon didnt we then deregulate the corporations and allow them to take the risks. Because a lot of safeguards in there were going to have busts and booms but they are not as large because there were clear cut regulations in place that controlled how much they could lend overnight or the amount of money they could speculate from their savings holdings to their more speculative derive active businesses. The easiest thing to do is to increase capital requirements. If they want to do things which make no sense, whatever, let them do it and let them suffer the consequences but dont put them in a position where they can default. Jon right. Because what the real problem in all of these areas are, the fact that when a bank fails, it tends to create a contagious effect and rumbles through the system. Jon sure. Thats precisely what happened on september 15, 2008. Jon right. Those of us who looked at that sort of stuff recognize that you just cant tell which are going to be the toxic assets. So i think the only way to solve this problem is to get enough leg are tory capital in place regulatory capital in place and then they can do a lot of things that you shouldnt be able shouldnt worry about. Jon who are you saying 121, what are we dealing with here . 10 1, 20 1. Right now they are at 10 . I think it should be twice that. Jon are they going to do it . No. Jon thank you very much for your [laughter] can you stick around for a second. Im going to ask you about ways the system can become more agile because it seems like were always fighting the previous wars and they are already far beyond our ability to catch up with them. The map and the territory on the bookshelves now. Alan greenspan. Goet [cheers and applause] jon hello, everybody. That is our show. I am your new fed chairman [cheers and applause] join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen. This is a rather large basin and here is the your heart, normal heart but basically about the size of two fists clamped together like this, maybe a little bit smaller and its a a. Tonight a new way to eat ont. Tracheotomies arent just for breathing anymore. Then its Christmas Gift season. I know whos been naughty, whos been nice, and thanks to the n. S. A. , everything else. laughter and my guest, a. Scott berg,