audience chanting Stephen Stephen whoo whoo number one audience chanting Stephen Stephen whoo well come to the report, everybody thank you so much for joining us cheers and applause folks, it is fantastic to have you here it is so exciting cheers and applause you know, nation, im sure you can tell from the excitement in this room we are entering the last few months of my show, and i pledge to you that i will stay strong on family values to the bitter end. Since day one of this program, ive had an unshakeable stamp on gay marriage. It is a moral evil that threatens our sacred institutions, our families and lives until it became popular and then, since then, who knows. You know, to each his own. You know, none of my business. cheers and applause i might even officiate at a wedding some day, who knows . cheers and applause and every day, theres another reason for me to not give a what ev epees. Its a big guy for gay right and couple ace cross the country have tied the knot after Court Hearings at a national and local level made samesex marriage legal in a majority of states. Samesex marriage may soon be legal in 35 states. Supporters of samesex marriage supporting another legal victory this morning. A federal judge striking down alaskas ban on gay marriage. Stephen yeah, gay marriage is legal in alaska. Now gay couples will have the right to celebrate the traditional alaskan way by having Bristol Palin coldcock one of their guests. laughter as much as i love america, as a person of faith, all that really matters to me is the position of the Catholic Church and thats always been, guy on girl, light on, a little weeping, a little praying. Until now. News from the vatican, widely described as something of an earthquake by the Catholic Church. A stunning shift by the vatican on approach to gays and lesbians. Bishops drafted different words stephen vatican is welcoming the gays in next thing you know, the place will be filled wan techniques just listen to the immoral, depraved support the vatican offered in this document saying homosexuals have gifts and qualities to offer the christian community. Okay, they have gifts but its mostly kimonos and im always feeling like im in a bathrobe. The document goes on to ask the f the church is capable of well coming gay people and guaranteeing them fraternal space in our communities . Arent frats already gay enough . Listen up pope fabulous i, the lord is perfectly clear on the gays. The first time he saw a naked guy running around, he ribbed out his rib and forced him to have sex with a woman. He was clear with her, too, no fruity stuff im so excited, the midterms will almost here. Its almost like christmas but with more talk about jeez. With 21 days left before the election, one group the g. O. P. Is trying to still woo, woman the Republican Party is in worse shape with women than in 2010. Republicans and women, its been a message problem. The Republican Party has a problem communicating with women. Study ordered by two republican groups found female voters feel the party is stuck in the past, said the g. O. P. Is intolerant and lacks compassion. Stephen the g. O. P. Has problems communicating with women but that doesnt mean they dont care. Its like the shy kid at the dance who wants to get your attention by denying you equal pay. Means he likes you. laughter fortunately, one g. O. P. Group developed a campaign thats sure to win the lady vote, the College RepublicanNational Committee or crnc they created an ad for the governors race of Charlie Crist and naked mole rat rick, and the ad asks women to make november 4 the most magical day of their lives. Its a big deal for me now that i just graduated from college. Rick scott is perfect . He has ideas that dont break the budget. They are imitating the popular tlc show say yes to the dress to appeal to the female voters in the 15eu78 way you would appeal to veterans with cupcake wars. In this ad, each candidate is metaphorically represented by a different Wedding Dress and the bride looks radiant in the rick scott but mom has other ideas. I like the Charlie Crist. Its expensive and a little outdated, but i know best. Dont forget, the Charlie Crist comes with additional cost. Theres over 2 billion in taxes. Mom, this is my decision. I see a Better Future with rick scott. Sometimes its hard to let go of old style but it all works out in the end because she said yes to rick scott cheering stephen this ad is touching, isnt it . Awww passed with with all kind of classic conservative marriage. Traditional marriage, fiscal conservatism and hating mom. I look forward to the next g. O. P. Ad selling baseball and apple pie to go bleep themselves. This ad cheers and applause this ad this ad shows that the modern g. O. P. Finally understands the real concerns of women weddings i mean, who needs access to contraception or equal pay. Youre getting married. Let him take care of that hard stuff. Of course, there are a lot of race this is year so they have Custom Fitness add for blushing voters nationwide. Tom corp corbett is perfect. He rick snyder is perfect. Hutchinson is perfect the bruce is perfect. Stephen trying out that many candidates disqualifies her from wearing white cheers and applause stephen ive created my own ad i believe addresses the real concerns of young, single women. Jim . Wow you are looking confident and selfassured. I am. Even though right now its that time. Mid term . Yeah. Me, too i dont have your confidence. Whats your secret . Well, im being represented by rick scott in my private sector. That explains it. Im still using. Charlie crist. Its been four years since he was governor. He could never give you that fresh feeling. Just look at this side by side comparison. Under Charlie Crist, taxpayer dollars will be leaking everywhere. But rick scott keeps your tax dollars where they belong, even on heavy spending days. But where does scott stand on employers providing coverage for contraceptives . Rick scott, the best candidate. Period cheers and applause stephen and, ladies. If youre looking for even more freshness, dont worry. The g. O. P. Also has a full line of douche bags. Of douche bags. Well be right rock and roll music stephen well come back. My guest has been inducted into the hall of fame twice. Please well come neil young cheers and applause neil, good to see you again thanks for coming back you look fantastic neil, thanks for being back. Thank you for dressing up for the occasion cheering thank you for putting on your formal tshirt. Earth. Earth. Were still on the earth . Were standing on it. I thought we were going to have a spaceship that would take us someplace else. Is that deal over now . Were trying to stop that. Stephen well, neil, everybody should know who you are. Your career spans over 40 years. You have albums, induction into the hall of fame twice three times . Maybe. Maybe. Claptons been in three times. Okay. laughter your new book is called special deluxe, a memoir of life and scars. Right. And wallpaper. Stephen yes. These are all water colors you did of how many cars have you had in your life . Many, many, many cars. Stephen these are many, many m cars. I was looking for a more specific number from a guy who wrote a damn book about it. Thanks to people, thanks to America Thanks to america for building these great cars. Stephen these would make excellent pajamas for an 8yearold. They would stephen youre a save the earth guy. You have the tshirt. Yeah. Stephen a lot of pollution with cars. Thats right. Stephen cant have it both ways. How can you drive a hot rod lincoln if you know its spewing out all the carbons. I caught you, you hypocrite. You caught me driving a 1959 lincoln from San Francisco to the tar sands in alberta and to new york city without using one drop of gasoline. cheers and applause stephen what are you talking about . How can you drive a hot rod lincoln from San Francisco to the tar sands . Its beautiful till you get there. Stephen yeah . Then it looks like a war zone, a disaster area. Stephen thats why i never go to canada, beautiful till you get there. I spoke to a few remaining fish up there. They said it was not right up there. Stephen your lincoln doesnt use gas . No, it uses electricity and cellulosic ethanol. As a matter of fact, its faster than it used to be. It performance better. Its cleaner. I hate to say the word green, but it is green. No, its not green. Its white. I like white, not green cars. Stephen why are cars so important to you . Well, they represent the culture. They represent our culture and our lot you know, like american history. Look at these things, the way people felt, except for the english car, the third one up. The last time you were here, you tried to get me to sing a long about impeaching the president who, at the time, was george w. Bush and you wanted to impeach him over getting us into the war in iraq. Now that obama is getting us into a war in iraq, are you up for impeaching him, too . Stephen no, no. No . Stephen no . No. Stephen then youre a double hypocrite . Dont care this time . I think wish impeach him for fracking. Stephen really . In the interest of the american people. Stephen are you an american . Are you a canadian or american . I am part of the free world. Stephen are you a canadian or american . Im a canadian. I dont have to go. I stay i travel the free world. All right, all right. I love the world i love it cheers and applause stephen youve got another thing youre pushing here, youre pushing the music player. Why is this better than an ipad other than not ipod other than not coming preloaded with the youtube album. This button gets the youtube album off of it and came on the player. Stephen whats the improvement of the pono . Whats better about the music . This music is 100 of the sound, and the ipod, compared to the best this can do, is 5 of the sound. Its a great bargain. Stephen i thought it was a great bargain. Yes, it is, because you get to have a million of songs but you just get a tiny bit of each one, but you can recognize them. Stephen how much is this . 399. Stephen so not only does it look like a toborone, it costs as much as a toborone in a hotel room. Stephen depends on which hotel you stay . laughter but you dont have to listen. You feel the music. Stephen really . Where do you put it, neil . Thats up to you, stephen. Look at that guy. Look at those guys. Stephen look at those guys. Yeah, look at all those awards. Oh, yeah stephen you know where to put it. There you go. cheers and applause all right stephen neil, neil, will you do a song with us . cheering well be right back with a performance by neil young cheers and applause what makes thermacare different . Two words it heals. How . With heat. Unlike creams and rubs that mask the pain, thermacare has patented heat cells that penetrate deep to increase circulation and accelerate healing. Lets review heat, plus relief, plus healing, equals thermacare. The proof that it heals is you. There they are. Hey. Clustered around power outlets. Did you jiggle it . Denied the freedom to enjoy even the most basic things. Uhhuh. I gotta plug in. You coming . Actually, im okay. Dont be a wallhugger. Sorry. With ultra power saving mode on the Samsung Galaxy s5. The next big thing is here. Stephen hold on, ive got to introduce you. cheers and applause host, guest. Host, guest. Are you ready now, mr. Colbert . Stephen i was ready before. You see the stuff in the thing, me talking, not you . laughter lets do it ladies and gentlemen stephen no, no, dont you dare ladies and gentlemen, neil young and crazy host. cheers and applause whoa protect the wild tomorrows child protect the land from the greed of man en end fracking now. Lets save the water and some mans daughter whos gonna stand up and save the earth whos gonna say shes had enough. Whos gonna take on the big machine whos gonna stand up and save the earth this all starts with you and me i know it feels good to save the earth. But what if the dolphins attack us first. Solar power is bound to fail. I say its time we save the whales. Stephen whos gonna stand up and save the earth . Stephen i dont know. Whos gonna say shes had enough. Stephen whos asking . Whos gonna take on the big machine. Whos gonna stand up and gave the earth . This all starts with you and me. Stephen wha what if the problem isnt really here. Im heavily invested. The problem will heel itself if we just drill the continental shelf. Whos gonna stand up and save the earth . Stephen not me. Whos gonna say shes had enough . Stephen you mean the earth . Whos gonna take on the big machine . Whos gonna take on the big machine . This all starts with you and me. cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen yeah so did you hear the new iphone is out . Im getting one sprint is offering this exclusive new plan with unlimited data. The plan is only 50 a month 50 . Unlimited iphone [glass shattering] so should we eat . The new sprint simply unlimited plan, exclusively for iphone 6. Unlimited data, talk and text for just 50 a month. Switch to sprint and well buy out your contract. Its the best value in wireless. Californians are discovering the real risks behind prop 46. It was written and paid for by the trial lawyers to make them millions. While, for the rest of us, Health Care Costs go up. No wonder every major newspaper in the state opposes prop 46. They say 46 overreached in a decidedly cynical way. Its a ploy for trial lawyers to enrich themselves. And prop 46 has too many potential drawbacks to be worth the risk. Time to vote no on prop 46. To be worth the risk. Everyone is looking for ways while to cut expenses. S unique, and thats where pg es Online BusinessEnergy Checkup tool can really help. You can use it to track your Actual Energy use. Find rebates that make equipment upgrades more affordable. Even develop a Customized Energy plan for your company. Think of it as a way to take more control over your operating costs. And yet another Energy Saving opportunity from pg e. Find new ways to save energy and money with pg es Business Energy checkup. Stephen thats the show, everybody neil young god night ored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org cheers and applause its 11 59d this happened on reddit today, kids today have no sense of history when their pocket computers and their dub steps and their malted 4 lowe co benches, but when you see a young person embrace clavicle music really gives me hope for the future, lets all enjoy together