Am but i can never quite get them to match. So instead, i want won two emmies. cheers and applause you know what yeah, yeah. Point is, the point is, folks, these are meaningless. And i will kill you if you try to take them. The point is, im back. Which is good. Because without me around for the past two weeks the world went into a big old tragedy party it was like dont tell mom the babysitters dead except everyone is dead. And we havent heard from mom in a while. But violence escalated in the middle east. The east, middle east and most unstable of all, the middle west. Jim . 18yearold Michael Brown was shot multiple times by a Police Officer in broad daylight. Witnesses say brown had his hands up an was surrendering when he was shot multiple times. Browns death has sparked a week of protests, looting, a shooting and sometimes violent responses from police. Sadly ferguson missouri is now best known for racial conflict, Police Brutality and violence in the streets. And not as they claim proudly on the official city web site, for food truck mondays. laughter because now this is the food truck. And it serves fresh, high velocity rubber burritos. And the hot pepper sauce is not optional. Folks, this is a genuine tragedy that many are saying is the foul harvest of our racist past. But i urge everyone to wait to pass judgement on officer darren wilson. Some are rushing to judge this man as a violent racist cop without gunned down an unarmed black teenager. But others argue that he is a heroic Police Officer doing his job by gunning down an unarmed black teenager. laughter but we dont know if this was racist or even if racism still exists. I for one dont see race. Not even my own. People tell me im white and i believe them because i keep asking waiters about gluten. What we do know, what we do know is the shooting of an unarmed young black man say story weve heard far too many times before. And the only way to assure we never hear it again is for the press to stop reporting it. I think the coverage has been a tra vesty. Look at it first from the standpoint of quantity. How did this incident justify hundreds if not thousands of nonstop hours of coverage when there is so much going on in the world. There are a lot of bad things that i think have come from journalists being there and from all the 24 7 media speculation. And i think one is that its probably made things more volatile. I wrote a column for fox this week saying just theoretically floating the idea, what if all the journalists in this town packed up the equipment and left. Would that have had an impact on the violence. A lot of people responded and said yes. Yes, i respond. Its true. The presence of a camera clearly makes people behave recklessly. Because i done believe for a minute that howie kurtz would have floated the idea that journalists from to blame for the ferguson violence if a camera wasnt pointed at him. For his own safety get this man off of television. Is there nothing applause is there nothing to be gained . And there is nothing to be gained by inflaming the volatile situation other than a whole lot of money. The fundraising effort has raised more money than the Michael Brown memorial sunday on the web site. Financial contributions for wilsons legal fees have reached around 400,000. Even in missouri chapter of the ku klux klan has a fundraiser planned for wilson. Even the clan is pitching in. I believe they held a big inee car wash. Now folk bikini car wash. That was pretty good. Now as it stands supporters of officer wilson have crowd sourced more money than supporters of Michael Brown. Yet somehow neither have raised more money than the glyph mobile personal theatre. This is what our country needs. That guy, he cant see race or the truck that is about to hit him. And while more money is going to officer wilson, brown supporters are being backed by an organization with no respect for the law. The white house. President obama is sending three white house officials to attend browns funeral in st. Louis missouri. They sent three white house officials to the funeral of Michael Brown. When Margaret Thatcher died last year they sent nobody. In what universe does Margaret Thatcher, one of the greatest leaders merit nobody and Michael Brown merits 3 white house officials. The president says a delegation to ferguson yet he sent not one Justice Department official to investigate the murder of Margaret Thatcher. applause at the very least he could have sent angela landsbury. With boiling on both sides people are beginning to call for the unthinkable. A rational discussion. We do have an opportunity here to talk about incidents of rage. We still need to have a discussion on race in america. It is important we have open dialogue about the realities of issues like this. I think we should continue this conversation long after the Michael Brown case is done. In is again another time to have an open discussion about race in society. Well, if there has to be a frank and Honest National discussion about race in america, i guess im already talking. Ill go for it folks, our nation has a long shameful legacy of o systemic oppression of africanamericans. White people have better economic and Educational Opportunities and are regarded without suspicion by law enforcement. But on the other hand, black people get to use the nword. Cant put a price on that. If you could, cliven bundy and his buddies might have paid it. By the way black people, why cant you be more like these guys. They were armed and they dared the cops to shoot them and nothing happened. Just figure out whatever was different about them and youll be fine. laughter but thats just one perspective. Thats just one, mine. Mine is just one voice. Im just one perspective when it comes to the National Conversation on race. This is a dialogue. So now i cede the floor to one of the black late night hosts to respond . January of 2015. Well be right back. [ dog barks ] [ male announcer ] imagine the cars we drive. Being able to see so clearly. To respond so intelligently and so quickly, they can help protect us from a world of unseen danger. Its the stuff of science fiction. Minus the fiction. And it is mercedesbenz. Today. See your authorized dealer for exceptional offers through mercedesbenz financial services. See your authorized dealer for exceptional offers you just have to win 70 of your points at net. And keep unforced errors under 10 . On the ibm cloud, the us open analyzes 41 million data points from 8 years of competition to uncover key insights. Data can help show you how to win, no matter what business youre in. Today theres a new way to work. And its made with ibm. Stephen welcome back, everybody, thank you so much. Folks, folks, my vacation was just fan tas tk. And one of the great things about being on vacation is spending more time with the wife and kid, i especially look forward to my familys weekly game night. Because nothing is better than a round of clue to take everyones mine off that take everyones mind off that candlestick murder that happened in our conserve tore. But i recently learned something disturbing about one of our classic games. For its first time in nearly a decade 5,000 new words will appear in the new edition of scrabbles official dictionary including words like hashtag, selfie, buzzkill and bromans. Thats right, hasbro add nud scrabble words and im sorry, but this ends our hasbromance because this assault on our traditional scrabble vocabulary makes me mad, no, change that to cheers and applause folks, this is nothing but a cheap attempt by the lexi conartists over at hasbro to pander to the young lings out there. At robin pollock daniel champion of the Scrabble Association put it, it makes the game more accessible to younger people. Which were always looking for, all the technology word make it more attractive to them. Thats right, folks. The new words capture the way young people speak, at least the ones who are chillaxing at the funplex while geocaching some schmutz. And check this out. To appeal to the value eskimo use demo they have also added kajak which is the inuit spelling for kayak. We cannot allow inuit words in skrabable. Now any random jumbles will be one of their 400 worsd of snow. And worst of all, truthiness, a word that i created, that became miriam websters 2006 word of the year applause stephen is not in the revised scrabble dictionary. But ask yourself, ask yourself, doesnt it feel like it is . laughter and when you play doesnt it feel like it has a silent z. Well, just because this new dictionary is filled with schmutz, doesnt mean i cant still beat any young person at scrabble. Brandon, get on out here. Brandon, everybody. cheers and applause here we go. Here you go. Brandon and i, brandon and i earlier before the show we were playing a game right here. Fun game, isnt it, brandon . Sure. Its like words with friends. Stephen we are not friends. Okay, ill go first. Lets see. Lets try this. L, oh, the g, log, speak that. Hmmmm. Zging. Stephen okay, what is vlogging, that is a maid up word. No t is when you create a blog with video material, its in the new dictionary. Stephen okay, fine, fine, then im going to spell burglkaf. laughter there you go. Go. Thats not a word. Stephen oh, really, because you just used it in a sentence, smart guy. cheers and applause and youre a young person, youre a young person so i will just wait a few months and scrabble will put it in their stupid dictionary. Go. Okay. Here. Burglkofs is. Triple word score. applause stephen god dammit get out of here get out of here, you cheater applause well be right back. I i want him out. Look at you. Can i pet your cloud please . Sure [ rumbling ] woah aah he doesnt like to be touched there. Mmm [ male announcer ] pet the rainbow taste the rainbow. [ male announcer ] pet the rainbow [ shutter clicks ] hi there [ laughs ] im flo i know im going to get you your rental car. This is so ridiculous. Were going to manage your entire repair process from paperwork to pickup, okay, little tiny baby . Your car is ready, and your repairs are guaranteed for as long as you own it. The Progressive Service center a real place, where we really manage your claim from start to finish. Really. Easy as easy can be bye [ laughter ] [ beeping ] [ laughs ] [ siren wailing ] [ male announcer ] theyll see you before you see them. Cops are cracking down on drinking and driving. Drive sober, or get pulled over. Welcome back, everybody, my guest tonight plays a researcher of human sexuality in the show time series masters of sex. I assumed he rezfernd his part by watching a lot of cineplex. Please welcome michael sheen. cheers and applause thank you so much. Thanks for coming on. All right, i am an enormous fan, and enormous fan of yours. I will bring out the guns later but first i want to say, i really liked you, i saw you on broadway, incredible. Obviously people know you from the queen, midnight in paris. You currently star in show times masters of sex, now in its secretary season, suns at 10 p. M. The more importantly youre a well shallman, correct. I am first and foremost a well shallman. Stephen if any moment you want to break into a coal mining ditty or sing, i am here for you. Men of we must always be at ready. Stephen thank you very much. Stephen . Now listen, ive always wanted to sing that with a well shall, thank you very much. Okay, masters of sex, you play tony blair in this one too . I do. Tony blair. Stephen i cant picture tony blair having sex, frankly. That could never be pictured. Stephen now tell the people masters and johnson are the people this is based on so these were real people, right what were they trying to do. They were real people. Virginia johnson had no medical background. She turned out to become dr. And found out that she was doing sort of secret sex study because it was very controversial this was in the 50ses,. Stephen back then it was just farm handshake, good night, mad aim and nine months later it was a baby. A shake of the leg, and youre on to the next one am but yeah, so they were doing this this sex study but they had to sort of do it behind closed doors. Because otherwise they would be outdoors and that would be wrong. Stephen which is also a little sexy. Yes. And so she helped him with that and eventually she became an equal part. But obviously it was very controversial at the time. Stephen mckenzy had already done some stuff. He had. But mainly relied on hab tants. Stephen like i heard this guy did this thing. Yeah. There this is interesting because a lot of people say so much has changed now. Weve come such a long way. When i was in drama school. Stephen oh my god. Yes. We used to with a medical school down the road and sometimes they would come and improvise as some sort of sexual dysfunction in their relationship for the doctors to learn from. So we without get all these real cases and then we would have to pretend we were then and they would have to work out the problem. At one point the problem was that the couple, they couldnt understand why they werent getting preg nance pregnant and it turned out the couple were having sex in each others armpits. Stephen was it good . I can understand how he has sex in her arm pit. But i cant understand how she has sex in his armpit. How much dow have to learn, stephen. Stephen that might be what is. As an acker doing this, what kind of research did you do. Did you have to do any sex research. I did the sex once and i have a beautiful dar lily. As a result. Are you clapping for my daughter or the sex i had. So i did it the once it was like going to school, on the first day of school i went. My mother said how was t i said it was lovely but im to the going again, but that was sort of what it was like with the sex. Stephen but did you learn anything, because heres my problem. Here somewhere the guns come out. I think sex is fine, im a fan, okay. But do we have to learn about it . Doesnt that take some of the mystery out of it . You know, not knowing. I know im a guy, i know what ive got. And the girls have got the and need we know more than that . I mean why dissect the rainbow. This is just the attitude that William Masters had to deal with in the 50s. Stephen and because he dealt with that, now we know everything and nothing is really exciting any more. Back then the Sears Catalog was a turnon. Now theres nothing on the internet that doesnt make me yawn. Havent we gone too far. That was a former bet, yawning. The special pornographic web sites for people that get turned on by yawning. Do you have we have gone too far. I mean obviously sex, we are now inundated with images of sex and sexuality all the time. It has become brand, commercialized. In some ways we are just as prone to feeling shame about sex as in its 50s when they knew nothing about it. Did these guys get in trouble what happened to him . They got in a fair amount of trouble, yes. They went through very controversial things like at one point they said they could cure someone from being gay. How did they do that . Its for a friend. Tell me later. Michael, thank you so much. Michael sheen, masters of sex, sundays at 10 00 on show time. Well be right back. 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Well, did you know words really can hurt you . What. . Jesse dont go jesse. No im sorry daisy, but im a loner. And a loner gotta be alone. Heee yawww geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. Jesse . Chocolate, soybeans, thisand apricots. Made with what kind of chef comes up with this . A chef working with ibm watson, on the cloud. Ingredients are just data. Watson turns big data into new ideas. And not just for food. Watson is working with doctors and bankers to help transform their industries. Today theres a new way to work. And its made with ibm. Stuart Stuart Stuart stuart check it out. This my account thing. We can tweet directly toa comcast expert for help. Or we can select a time for them to call us back. The future, right . This doesnt do it for you . [ doorbell rings, dog barks ] oh, thats what blows your mind the advanced technology of a doorbell. [ male announcer ] tweet an expert and schedule a callback from any device. Introducing the xfinity my account app. Stephen s thiss it for the report. Before we g i just want to wish a big warm welcome to the newest member of the colbert nation eva jeanmarco, brandnew daughter of colbert report graphics designer bill marco. Bill swufern the photo shop wizards who traches reality and digitally enhances it until it is to my liking. What a beautiful family. So congratulations to bill, his wife katie and eva. Coy not be happier if i were riding on a flying tiger with kate upton an donald trump. Bill, get back to work. Good night. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org im going down to south park, gonna have myself a time Friendly Faces everywhere humble folks without temptation going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ample parking day or night people spouting, howdy, neighbor heading on up to south park, gonna see if i cant unwind mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine hold still, ike. We have to get you dressed. Where the heck is kyle . I dont know. Come on, kyle youre gonna be late for jew scouts [ humming ] kyle im coming, ma [ doorbell rings ] go get the door, kyle get ready, answer the door. Make up your frickin mind oh, hey, kenny. Mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmh rmphm