motorcycle approaching ahhh. Got one of those for me . Nice try, you little creep. Mr. Buttermaker. Mr. Buttermaker. Youre late. I got held up, sorry about that. Are you drinking . Oh, hell, no. Thats, uh. Nonalcoholic. Im drivin, you know. laughs oh. Im so sorry. You hear that, toby . Drinking and driving dont mix. Thats right. Stay away from crack too. One hit of that stuff, and you wake up in prison married to some guy named big blue, and hes branding his initials in your ass with a hot coat hanger. I knew a guy. Uh uh uh, yes, crack. Is bad too. Yeah, i know, mom. But we are really excited to have you do this, and tobys really excited to play. Arent ya, honey . Uhhuh. Between his trumpet lessons, photo club, boy scouts and swimming, this is his favorite, isnt it, honey . Can you believe they tried to keep these kids out of the league . All kids should be able to play baseball, no matter what their skills. Well, i think they heard me loud and clear. All that aside, forget i filed the injunction. Just go out there and have fun. Dont let the legalese crimp your enthusiasm in any way. Yeah, i got enthusiasm flying out my ass. Got the check . Its a shame none of the fathers could be here. Is that thing glued to your fingers . Oh laughs i almost forgot. There. I think its really important what were doing for the kids. I feel really good about it, dont you . Yeah. inhales ohhh. Toby, have fun. Mr. Buttermaker . Yeah. Is it true you were on the mariners . Long ago and far away. Here, carry that. Where do we get the equipment . Over there. Woman sorry the stuffs so ratty, but this is a sixteam league. And im afraid your boys are gettin the spit end of the stick. Yeah, i can spell it all right. Does she think im 11 . Woman nice goin, girls girls cheering announcer over p. A. next up for the flyers, number 9, sarah green. Girl softball players. Think we all know what that means, right . How you doin . Ray bullock. Hey, Morris Buttermaker no, no, no. No introduction necessary. Morris the blade buttermaker. Carvin up batters, one by one. Huh . Sound familiar . I used to watch you over at regis field in high school. You were. Amazing. Man, i was just a kid, but. You owned it. Its great youre doin this, morris, really. I mean, a pro, finally, somebody who gets it, you know . I gotta tell you, a lot of these dads, they dont. They dont understand the dedication that it takes to run a serious program. No offense, but that, uh. Ms. Whitewood friend of yours, shes shes not helping things, you know . I mean, yeah, i get it. We were a little selective, kept some of the lesser players out. But. Stoppin the season till we complied . Come on. This is a serious program. Not because i want it that way, either. Its for the kids, you know . Ah, listen to me goin on and on. You know what it takes. Anyway, i think were gonna have a lot of fun. Learn a lot from each other, you know . Huh . You know. I never thought id hear myself say, look at the ass on that second baseman. But look at the ass on that second baseman. A lot of brisket butt. All right. Well, listen, ill ill see you around. Uh. Or stop by, see me sometime. Im over at chevy valley subaru. Quality you can drive. Heh. fun, mellow theme playing all you need is a jar of honey and a glass coffee table. Its more fun than a taffy pull, i promise you. Buttermaker laughs buttermaker. Theyre here. See you later, buttermaker. Come on. Kid, let me explain something to you, okay . clears throat all right, listen up. Tanner boyle. Yeah, here. Mike engelberg. Here. Timmy lupus. Timmy lupus . Raise your hand, lupus. He cant see you sitting behind planet fat ass. Up your. Tanner tanner yelling buttermaker come on, come on, come on. Play nice. Hey, hey, hey. Let go of him. Prem lahiri. Present. But you dont have to use me. Im just doing this for my transcript, for college. Okay. clears throat lets see, toby white oh, whitewood, i know youre here. Um. Matthew hooper . Matthew hooper . Okay, no hooper. The hell . Garo daragagabragadagian. What the hell is that, aztec or something . Armenian. Ah, same. They both built pyramids. All right. Uh. Ahmad abdul rahim. Here. Yo, bro, what up . Nothing much. Just ready to play some baseball. Twentyfive, huh . Ken griffey, right . No. Satchel paige . No. No . Willie mays . No, its mark mcgwire. chuckles mark mcgwire . But hes a white. Yes, hes from claremont. Hes my favorite player. chuckles okay. Uh, agilar. Miguel and jose. You guys twins . Estoy, sir, apesadumbrado. No hablamos ingles. Nuestro padre dijo que podriamos jugar beisbol aqui. Yo quisiera jugar a la tercera base, y a mi hermano you you can save it, son. Ii dont understand a damn thing youre sayin, okay . All right. Got the damn league of nations here. Their dads our gardener. Mom said we need em to fill out the team. Okay, lets hit the field. Come on. Tanner jeez. Could this team be any lamer . So theres no hooper . You dont know a Matthew Hooper . You dont know where he is . Boy right here. You gotta be kidding me. Thats right, im in a wheelchair bizets habanera playing okay. Buttermaker charge it. Oh, yeah, thats chargin it, all right. Good hustle. There you go, bro. Ow another good one. Whats the . Whats the cripple kids name . Engelberg hooper. Hooper. Hooper roll your machine up. Dont necessarily have to catch it, i guess. Cant hope for miracles, can you . You gotta get under the ball. Theres too many gnats out here. bat cracks sighs buttermaker give me a ball. The hell is that, a baggy full of bacon . Im on atkins. What . I have to eat all the time to keep my metabolism up so my body becomes a fatburning machine so airheads like you dont give me spit all the time easy, sport. All right, get ready. Its comin at you. You might wanna back up. clears throat guys, its a bunt. You seemed to imply youre going to hit it out here. Yeah. Engelberg, thats a bunt, bud. Youre supposed to pick it up, throw the guy out at first base, okay . Here we go again, pickin on the fat kid. Theres laws against this, you know. Harassment you better shut up before i tell somebody you touched my pecker. Tanner engelberg, will you throw the damn ball already . glass smashes okay, listen up. Listen very carefully. Rule number one dont mess with the cadillac. Engelberg calm down. Its a piece of crap anyway. For your information, its a classic. And i got half a mind to find your old man and kick him in the nuts so hard he can never foul the earth with another like you. So you keep your trap shut, okay . Ooh toby were gonna get laughed at. We only have a week till the season starts. Everyones gonna laugh at us. This game is about a lot more than talent, son. Believe me. horn playing dignified melody band playing festive polka music bullock iim out there with the kids for nothing. And im gettin very tired of having to justify myself to parents who drop the kid off at 4 00, call me at midnight, wonderin why hes so pissed off. Say, ray, you got a minute . I wanna say to them, im not your babysitter, im your coach. Oh, yeah. Mr. Bill deaver. Hey. Hey. Just. Checking in. Just checkin in. Listen, ray, um, i wanted to see if maybe, uh, jake could. Get a little more playing time this season. Hes been workin hard. It would really mean a lot to him. Yeah. Sure. Why not . Really . Well, great. Well, uh thanks a lot, ray. laughs guys. You know, i spoke to your boy. You know what he said to me . What . He said all that matters to him is that we win. Even if it means givin up a little game time. Really . Yeah. I was really touched by this. Hes a hell of a team player. Thanks, ray. I appreciate it. Thanks. Thats the kind of horse crap im talking about right there. Exactly. Unbelievable. festive polka music continues playing man oh woman scoffs hey, buttermaker, ya made it. And you brought. Oh, this is my friend paradise. Hi, nice to meet ya. Hey, buttermaker, you gotta get your uniform orders in. Uniforms . Yeah. All the good colors are taken black and white, red and white, blue and white, white and blue, white and black, white and red. Theyre all gone. What uniforms . Whitewood mochte ich nicht sweet and sour, okay . No sweet and sour. Just cointreau, patron, lime juice and superfine salt. Bartender yes, maam. Listen, whitewood, whats the deal with the uniforms . What about them . I didnt well, whatshername said that i gotta have uniforms. I dont know about hey, buddy, gimme a beer and a. A c c. Bartender yes, sir. Buttermaker, you dont actually buy them. You just need a sponsor. Youre the coach, its your job. Okay, so not only do i have to coach the bronze medalist for the special olympics, but i gotta be an amway salesman too, is that it . Buttermaker, dont turn this into high drama. Do what other coaches do restaurants, sportinggoods stores, you know. You know, i got a job. I got houses to spray. Its ant season, you know . What is it about being a man that makes everything so hard . I own my own law firm. Im a single mother, and i still have time for extension courses, pilates, the flowerseed business, pottery you know what, im busy too, okay . I got important crap to do. I got stuff stacked up all over the place. Okay . Mmhmm. Come on, buttermaker, lets go. John Fogertys centerfield playing siren wailing in distance well, beat the drum and hold the phone the sun came out today um. Mr. Buttermaker . Yeah. Where are we going . Already told you, to the batting cages. You guys swing like helen keller at a pinata party. Gonna do somethin about it. Tell us about the majors, coach. Ahmad you were in the majors . Yeah, for a little while. Hey, lupus, dont lean against that door, bud, all right . Yes, i was recently perusing baseballstats. Org, and it said mr. Buttermaker played pitcher for the Seattle Mariners for 2 3 of an inning in 1984. Twothirds . Thats it . Well, it was the end of the season. You know, september callups. Yes, his lifetime era was 36. Thats lame. Yeah, well, i closed the inning out, okay . Theres only a few thousand guys ever set foot on a major league mound. Im one of em. What have you done with your life, smartass . Why didnt you stay . Well, i was gonna come back, but i. Had a little incident. I punched an ump. Really just a bitchslap, but i dunno. How the hell was i supposed to know he was a bleeder . Fourteen stitches. Like that means something. They used to stitch everything up. It was like the dark ages. I got stitches on my foot. Oh, yeah . Well, im in a damn wheelchair. Put me in, coach im ready to play anyway, after that, i blew off a few offers. You know, japan, stuff like that. You know what i mean . door opens lupus whoa crap. tanner laughing engelberg what the hell . Prem is he okay . Hooper its not my fault. Lupus. Lupus . Lupus . Lupus. The hell are you grinnin at . You scared the hell outta me. Dont be leanin on the door. Boy did i hear about it. The cheeseburger pizza, biggbill7 writes are you kidding me . No more cheeseburgers on a pizza . Are you kidding me . Theyre back, big bill with bacon. Are you kidding me . papas Bacon Cheeseburger pizza is back. Piled high with Hickory Smoked bacon, dill pickles, and zesty burger sauce. And try our new mushroom swiss burger pizza. Just ten dollars each for a large. Papa johns dot com choose any two mcdonaldsing classics for five bucks. Like the 100 beef big mac, filetofish made with sustainably sourced fish, or 10piece chicken mcnuggets made with white meat enjoy the choice lemme get a mcpick2 find more delicious deals in our app. Ba da da da da new aquafina sparkling. Lightness and refreshment in perfect sync. Aquafina sparkling. For happy bodies. Were always looking for ways to speed up your Car Insurance search. Heres the latest. Problem is, we havent figured out how to reverse it. For now, just log on to compare. Com. Plug in some simple info and get up to 50 free quotes. Choose the lowest and hit purchase. Now. If youll excuse me, im late for an important function. Compare. Com. Saving humanity from high insurance rates. suspenseful theme playing mice squeaking buttermaker how many are in there . The infestations quite advanced. All right, pull the pin, throw it. gas hissing coughing buttermaker there you go. Good job, buddy. Good job, man. Youre a natural. wheezes thanks. Die die how you like that, huh . Hey you sprayed my foot, dumbass. Oh, yeah . Hey hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey stop it its expensive. All right . Thanks for holdin the fort down, buddy. Hey, i got somethin for ya. Youre gonna dig this. Hey, guys, come here a minute. Got somethin for ya. Now you can quit your bitching about the whole uniform thing. boys cheering here you go. Hey, harper. Heads up, buddy. Hooper its hooper. There you go. all chattering happy, peaceful theme playing engelberg cannonball okay. Tanner hey, engelberg. You do that again, youll learn how to surf. Garo mr. Buttermaker . We have a game tomorrow. Shouldnt we be practicing . Buttermaker uhhuh. Lupus, alcohol. Excellent. God bless you. You got a future, lupus. You ever play with anyone famous . Hell, yeah, i played with people who are famous. What do you think . I mean, i was in the game, you know. Oh, i know one. One time, i struck out mike schmidt in an exhibition game. Struck his ass right out. It was 1980. It was two outs, bottom of the seventh inning. It was the bottom of the seventh. Top of the seventh. It was top of the seventh. And when i put my foot on that rubber, i was zoned in, man. It was just one of those times when. You just know you got it workin, you know . cool, lively theme playing ahhh. All right, tubby. Im gonna throw you something called a screwball. Its an oldschool thing. Now, its gonna look like its coming right at ya, but its gonna drop right off the table. So you dont bail out, you gotta stick in there. You see what im sayin . Ow son of a bitch shake it off. Next. Ah damn it i know it stings a little bit, but its worth it. Okay, here it comes. Ah its all right, kid. You had a helmet on. Imagine if you didnt. You know what im sayin . Ow oh what are you doing, buttermaker . Ow okay. Comin at ya. Whoa hey what . Hooper mr. Buttermaker . Is he dead . Hell, no. Hes drunk. The season starts tomorrow. We dont got our positions, batting order, nothing. What are we gonna do . We aint ready to play. We got nothin but a boozer for a coach. We can wait till he sobers up. Yeah, right. Nothing else we can do. Screw this. Im taking his wallet. El borracho lo merece. Gimme gimme hey, watch it leave me alone gimme that grand, bold march playing grunting march continues playing indistinct chatter right this way. Good. shutter clicks shutter clicks man over p. A. because in this time of terror, there is one thing we all need the grace of our lord, our heroes overseas. mild applause . And baseball. mild applause casey at the bat by ernest thayer. The outlook wasnt brilliant for the mudville nine that day. man continues speaking indistinctly announcer all rise for the national anthem. band playing starspangled banner buttermaker. Where have you been . You missed the team photo. I was just gettin gatorade for the guys, you know. Oh. Well, we need to talk about this. My son cant wear this. Well get him another size. No big deal. Thats not what im talking about. Mmhmm. Look, its a legitimate business, honey. You know, they pay taxes like everybody else. Intrthe only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. Its a crisp, refreshing twist on lemon lime. Insist on the twist. Booking. Com offers free cancellations, so youre free to decide if the trip youre on. Hahahahahaha . Isnt really the trip you want to be on. Hahahaha. Hahaha. 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And get a slush when you download the new sonic app. cheering applause bullock all right, can you believe it . Its here, opening day. Well, we got a lot of great athletes this year, and, uh, im lookin forward to a great season. motorcycle approaching before we get started, i do wanna remind you that it is summer discount days at valley chevy subaru. So, uh, come on down if you get a chance. Meanwhile, so many volunteers. crowd chattering and, uh, people that i wanna thank hey, hey, hey what is he . Whats his . Hey, get hey, get the hell off my field ill deal with you later, you little punk come on. Hurry up. Lets go. Come on. Okay. Um. Lets welcome all our, uh, teams. feedback squealing uh. We got. Ray bullock and our returning champs, the yankees. cheering applause Lenny Hendricks and the giants. cheering applause exmariner Morris Buttermaker and the bears. Man who . women cheering bob jones and the white sox. Play ball man all right, lets go. Man 2 cmon, yankees cheering applause bullock there you go, mitch. There you go bullock round it, round it, round it bullock there you go alrighty thats it announcer over p. A. number 9, joey bullock. Thats it, thats it, thats it. Go joey joey announcer and thats a tworun homer for joey bullock. Thats my boy. We worked on that announcer the yankees lead 3nothing. Way to go, sweetie. Thats your boy. Announcer next batter, number 3, danny patello. Lets go, danny bizets song of the toreador playing go two, go two, go two cheering applause get off me let go. cheering applause cheering applause i got it i got it what do you think, lupus . Sometimes bird poo tastes like candy. Arent you supposed to be in left field . Where you goin, coach . Keep your drawers on, officer, ill get back to you. Hey, bullock. Announcer up next, number 8, brian fox. Morris the blade. Im callin it. What . Whatre you talkin about . Im callin the game. The kids are gettin creamed out there, you know . Yeah, its a bloodbath. Yeah. Umpire ball one dont wanna make quitters outta them now, do you . They dont have to quit. Theyre losin, cant you see . Eh, 10run rule kicks in after three. I think you should hang on. Yeah . Yeah. Umpire ball two then after that, maybe you think about. Pft what . softly you know, drop dropping out. Huh . Whatd ya say . Dropping out of the league. Morris, this isnt gonna work. They dont know the fundamentals of the game out here. To save them the humiliation. Im callin the game, okay . Hey, im just trying to help. Wheres the honor and respect for the game from the former pro, by the way . Who the hell are you, shoeless joe walkin out of the holy cornfield . I dont buy that. Im callin the game. All right, call it. Quit. Quit the whole league. What i just said. Forfeit. Time its over. Bears forfeit game over cheering applause all heyyyyyyyy. One, two, three, bears move. Its not that bad, but shut the hell up, drunk bastard okay. Hey, bears, thanks for batting practice. laughs yeah, you guys suck. Ill give you batting practice hey, hey, hey. Come here. Come here. Get down off of there. Get your hands off of me thanks. I really needed another reason for people to laugh at me. I heard you switched to geico. Yeah, saved money and got a lot more. More . 24 7 access to licensed agents. That is more. One more reason geicos the fastestgrowing auto insurer. Huh. For over 10 years running. I guess more is more. laughing geico. Expect great savings and a whole lot more. She is. Shes cute. Its good for you,i. And somehow still tastes really good. It doesnt make sense. Sort of like marrying a man you met on tv. I love you. I love you too. Yeah. With a cheesy gordita crunch,. Burrito supreme®. Nachos. Taco. And a baja blast®. All the cravings one person can handle, just 5. Only at taco bell. [bong ] some said wendys 4 for 4 was the biggest thing since. And now for tonights biggest news. 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New s ohabanera playing weed softly and solemnly brakes squeak need a ride . Go away. Come on, hop in. Ill take you home. Im not going home. sighs all right, whats wrong . My dads not from here. He thinks baseballs stupid. He says i should just worry about school and work. But i wanna do the things my friends do. You know, american things. He said if i played, id just embarrass myself. Guess he was right. Im just gonna run away. Where you gonna go . Salt lake city. chuckles why the hell would you wanna go there . I hear it looks like washington, d. C. Listen, kid. You dont wanna go to salt lake, trust me. They dont even like africans up there. Arnian. Yeah, right. Right. sighs anyway, i think i can help you. Yeah . Yup. How . Heres what you do you go home, you look your old man straight in the eye, and you say, guess what, dad. We won today. You know . But we didnt win. I know that. You lie your ass off. Its the only way. Look, this is america. Besides that, you know, hes not gonna know. Hes from riki tiki tavi, or wherever the hell it is. I used to do it with my pop all the time. Really . Yeah. You just tell em what they wanna hear. You know, i didnt take the stereo. I dont smoke. She said she was 18. You know, stuff like that. Its all part of growing up. The important thing is, is that youre right, and theyre wrong. Maybe ill just tell him we tied. You could do that. Thatll work. Now, come on, ill take you home. Lets go. Woman 180 bucks . Thats norma kamali. Its vintage. They cant even make rayon like that anymore. Woman really. Hey, does your mother know youre sellin that crap . Whatre you doin here . Just passin by. After three years . Three years . Its been three years . Well, you sure are growin up fast, thats for sure. Not fast enough, if you ask me. Theres plenty of time for that, honey. Just like that story about the. Caterpillar whos crawlin along like a worm, and then the next thing you know, hes in that cocoon and. Bam look at me now, im a. Moth or whatever the hell i turn into, you know . I dont want wings. I want nice hips and c cups. Hey, dont talk like that. Whats wrong with you . Come on. So hows your mom . Shes fine. What do you care . Amanda, listen, just cause we didnt get along so well all the time, doesnt mean i dont care about her, okay . You know, adults, they. Sometimes, i dont know, its just its like that story i was tellin you about the caterpillar and the worm deal. You just walked out, you jerk. You couldve said goodbye. Well, im sorry. huffs so, what do you want . Why are you here . Im coachin a team out in the valley, and i was just thinkin, you know, maybe. You might wanna. Come play with us. No way. Im a woman now, and we dont do that kind of thing. Well, sure you do. Girls play baseball all the time. Besides that, you owe me. I was like a dad to you. A drunk, lazy dad. You made me climb under houses looking for rats. Well, thats what my dad did. Builds character. This guy bothering you, amanda . No, its okay. He was just going. Go away, boilermaker. Youre scarin off the clientele. Designer jeans. Calvins, jordache, certified vintage. light, playful theme playing what do you say there, hooper . You feelin ready today . Gonna go get them . Whats with the eye patch . You gonna swab the ondeck circle for us, matey . Huh . Playin pirate . Mom says i have cancer of the eye. The hells wrong with you guys . We dont wanna play no more. Hooper we took a vote. Were disbanding the team. So one game, and you wanna quit, is that it . Weve been taking a lot of crap in school. Prem by crap, he means ridicule. sighs and depantsing. Its been tough. Really . Tough, huh . The hell happened to you, tanner . Got in a fight. With who . The sixth grade. Buttermaker the sixth grade. So i guess you wanna quit too, huh . Okay. sighs look, guys, i know ive been lazy. And, uh. Irresponsible and a few other things i could mention. And ive let you down. Baseballs hard, guys. I mean, it really is. You can love it, but believe me, it dont always love you back. Its kind of like dating a german chick, you know . But what i do know is that once you start quitting, its a hard thing to stop. Ive quit just about everything i ever tried in my life. sighs as far as i can tell. My life hasnt added up to much more than a bag full of empty promises. And im not gonna put that on you guys. I havent been as good a coach as i can be. I know i can do it cause i i know this game. You know, and. And we can do better, and a lot of thats my responsibility, so. Um. I know youre down, but. Lets get our stuff together, and and go hit the field. Okay . You with me . Like i said, we took a vote. This is not a democracy it is a dictatorship, and im hitler you understand me . So get your stuff, and get your asses on the field this saturday we play the athletics. And you know what that means for the athletics . Bad news for the athletics, thats what it means. That could stand up to weather like this. Or this. Or even this . If a stain can survive any amount of torture. Is it still stain . Arborcoat from Benjamin Moore. Boy did i hear about it. The cheeseburger pizza, biggbill7 writes are you kidding me . No more cheeseburgers on a pizza . Are you kidding me . Theyre back, big bill with bacon. Are you kidding me . papas Bacon Cheeseburger pizza is back. Piled high with Hickory Smoked bacon, dill pickles, and zesty burger sauce. And try our new mushroom swiss burger pizza. Just ten dollars each for a large. Papa johns dot com they have smart online tools, which saves money. They settle claims quickly, which saves money. They drive an all hybrid claims fleet, which saves money. They were born online and built to save money. Thats auto and Home Insurance for the modern world. Esurance. An allstate company. Click or call. Fill your family of four up, with eight pieces of delicious original recipe chicken and sides. Its a meal thats freshly prepared every day. Court adjourned colonel quality, guaranteed. I am never getting married. Were never having kids. Mmmmmm. We are never moving to the suburbs. We are never having another kid. Im pregnant. I am never letting go. For all the nevers in life, state farm is there. Show me what you got show me what you got introducing the only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. New mist twst. Lets twist insist on the twist. Lets twist okawhoa ady . [ explosion ] nothing should get in the way of the things you love. Get americas fastest internet. Only from xfinity. Keep you knees bent, your butt down. That way if it hops either way. See . You use your legs. All right . bizets song of the toreador playing you wanna run this way. Catch the ball like that. Kids yeah kids nice three. See . Swivel on the back foot, throw your hips, and keep your eye on the ball. You follow the ball right into here. See that . Okay . Try it, sparkplug. Swing out a little bit when you run around the bases. You wanna point in this direction. Left foot on the inside of the bag. Youre gonna push off with that left foot. Whats with the patch . Nothing. Cat scratched me. But dont tell buttermaker. Engelberg dying. Dying. You know, theres a mennonite anecdote about a simple farm hand who lifted a calf every morning until one day he found himself able to lift a cow. What the hell does that mean . If we stay focused, eventually our strength will build. Thats the dorkiest stuff ive ever heard. Come on, guys two more laps youre draggin ass nice. Engelberg. Buttermaker. Glad i caught ya. Feel like we got off on the wrong foot last week. Said some things we didnt mean, you know. Lets forget about it, huh . Sorry. All right. All right. Youre sorry too, or. . I said, all right. Okay . Uhhuh. Hows that . Hows what . You feel that . Feel what . Hm . You know, your face is turning a little red, ray. So, uh. You know, what it might be is those, uh. Gym shorts might be a little tight for ya. Hm. Looks like youre smuggling grapes down there. Smells like somebody ate a fifth of scotch for lunch again. Not that its any of your business, you know. Mm. Really . But maybe, so. All right. You know what . You keep stinkin up the ballpark, buttermaker. Yeah, yeah, okay. You play your game, well play ours, ray. Hows that . Well, good luck with that. The championship games gonna be a lot of fun. It would be more fun if you guys were there, huh . Oh, well be there, morris. Dont worry about that. Hey, i know all about you. Minor league junkballer. Whatd you have, five seconds in the majors . May work with the ladies, but that crap doesnt work out here. These kids need role models. And youre not it. Have a nice night, ray. Strike three cheering applause engelberg, i got Something Special for you. Its for power hitters. Thanks, coach. Announcer over p. A. now batting for the bears, number 20, mike engelberg. What the hell is this . I dont know. Buttermaker, what the hell are you trying to pull . Hey, its a league bat, okay . Youre on thin ice, pal. You try one more stunt like this again, im gonna bounce you out of the league. Boy good game. Tanner bite me. Boy 2 good game. Good job. Kiss my ass. Kiss my ass. Bitch. What are you smiling at, henry . All up the alley, down the street, whos the Toughest Team to beat . Bears bears yay, bears hey, come on, guys. Sit up straight, you look like a bunch of hound dogs. You got nothing to be ashamed of. You got a few hits today. You played all six innings. You ought to be proud of yourselves. Proud of what . These things take time, guys. So does heart disease. And torture. And physical therapy. Um, i did do some simple flowcharting and data analysis. And if you got graph out our errors and other parameters, compared to the last game, weve actually improved by a considerable percentage. Great. We went from suck to stink. See, thats the spirit. Were getting better. Now, friday we play the angels. Now, what does that mean for the angels . all bad news for the angels. Youre damn right, it does. Now, come on. Get off your asses, lets go get some hotdogs and some sunny d or whatever the hell you guys drink these days. indistinct chatter whistling cheerfully just leave me alone, will you, buttermaker . Im too young to have a stalker. Come on, amanda, just a few games, please . I need to make money. I need to buy clothes, makeup. Im saving up for a car. You wear makeup . What happened to the. Barbie. Oven with the. Muffin light . That was like 20 years ago. Im all grown up now. Yeah, youre probably right. Im sure your arm sucks now, anyhow. God, that is so lame. Reverse psychology . Youre such a loser. Man, you must have a big one, cause i dont know what else my mom saw in you. Youre not supposed to be talkin about my my one. Youre 12 years old. As far as you know, im like g. I. Joe down there, okay . I have the internet, you know. Im not stupid. Just come play with us, will you . Iitll be fun. Ill pay for the clothes, okay . And ill help you out with a car. Whwhen it gets to that time. But you know, you just no dont you get it . Just. No. All right, ive been disappointed before. ted nugents stranglehold playing buttermaker all right, guys, listen up. This is amanda whurlitzer. Shes your new pitcher. Tanner a girl. Whats next, a cripple . Oh. I forgot. chuckles hey. Aint you ever heard of throws like a girl . No, i never heard that. Get a mitt, fatass. I think i just entered puberty. Kid come on, amanda. Steerike three cheering applause announcer over p. A. up next, number 18, justin cahill. Boy you can hit it. Cmon, lets go. Woman watch her. Man beat it out now, come on. Hes out announcer now batting for the angels, second baseman yanek goldanueva. Hey, hooper, check this out. Shes gonna come with a changeup. I can tell. Shes psychin him out. Changeup is when it looks like its gonna be a fastball, but she takes a little off of it. Strike three youre out ball four take your base. Come on, somebody hit something. Announcer next batter, ahmad abdul rahim. Man watch it. cheering applause tanner go safe ahmad. slow, mysterious theme playing garo. Announcer next up for the bears, toby whitewood. Toby. Man i say we shut em down, huh . Umpire ball buttermaker watch this, hooper. The catchers good. Just good enough to get in trouble. Strike one run, run, run safe yes buttermaker all right way to go, guys way to go good hustle theyre playin ball now, man. Theyre playin ball. cheering laughter ball four take your base. Come on, guys lets hold em cant win if they dont score. Announcer number 28, tyler coen. Way to go, miguel good catch, buddy way to go we need two more, guys. Two more. Strike three buttermaker come on, guys two out. We need one more, amanda. Shut em down, honey. Announcer number 15, jack kruger. crowd cheering tanner get under it get under it tanner throw it throw the ball hurry come on safe cheering applause tanner what the hell is wrong with you . Announcer and the angels win, 21. Buttermaker come on, guys, gather in. How do you choose a mcpick 2 . Et a mcpick2 are you a beardstroker . Or a visualizer . Perhaps youre a handwarmer. A lippursing eyebrow shifter. Or maybe a doalittledancer. However you choose, get just what youre craving with a mcpick 2. Lemme get a mcpick2 for a limited time, choose any two mcdonalds classics for five bucks. Like the 100 beef big mac, filetofish made with sustainably sourced fish, or 10piece chicken mcnuggets made with white meat enjoy the choice lemme get a mcpick2 find more delicious deals in our app. Ba da da da da gii dont netold ya. T karma to know that my score sucks. Thats about what my score was when i signed up. No way i mean it took some work but credit karma made it alot easie. Hey, maybe ill give it a shot. Check out credit karma today. Credit karma, give yourself some credit. No missed payments. Ooohh, up 5 points. Paid off a loan. Uh oh. Oh. Henry oh my. Good, youre good. Back, back, back. vo according to kelley blue book, subaru has the highest resale value of any brand. Again. You might find that comforting. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Announcing pizza huts new applewood smoked bacon and melty cheese in the crust pizza huts bacon stuffed crust pizza is here now with applewood smoked bacon shhh and loaded with cheese just 12. 99. Only at pizza hut. No way, its a chevy. Oh wow its the chevy memorial day sale. Time to get the crossover thats right for you. Trax, equinox, or traverse. Its very impressive. Its awesome. This is incredible. Itd be a good road trip car. The wifi is cool. 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Everyone except you, you boogereatin moron. Cant you catch one damn ball . Come on, tanner. Even i could have caught that, and look at me. Cant even move. Hey, guys, come on. Its like i told you before, theres no i in team. Yeah . But theres an m and an e. There should be an f and a u. Hey, hey. Dont fall apart at the seams on me now. Come on, guys. Remember how bad we sucked two weeks ago . They smelled that up in fresno. You almost won today. Hold your heads up high. Everybody in. Lets go. Ready. One, two, three. All bears good hit. That was a good one. Choke up on your bat. About that far, okay . Put it back on your shoulder. Back here. There you go, all right . Excellent. There you go. Yes, sir. Good cut, honey. Last pitch, guys cool rock theme playing all right, guys, lets bring it in sister sledge, that kids got an arm on him. Who is that . Thats kelly leak. Yep. Hes a real badass. El es un demonio. Como el chupacabra. I heard he spent two years in juvie. Buttermaker you dont know how old he is, do you . Toby hes in our grade, but he dates an eighthgrader. Someone told me he got a teacher pregnant. Engelberg i heard he broke some kids arm who owed him money. Ahmad why, i heard he broke both of his arms. I heard he puts money under your pillow when you lose a tooth. Thats the tooth fairy, you freak. Prem actually, he only broke one arm. The other was just a minor fracture at the base of the humerus. Who cares about that crap, can he play . You kidding . You saw that arm. I dont know, honey. Ill be fine. sighs i dont like the looks of the place. I mean, look at those creeps. Ill be fine. Im cool. You sure . Yeah. You dont want me to go with you . No, im good. Dont talk to anybody but whatshisass. Ill be fine. Amanda . Shut up. Okay . wild rock playing over speakers i bet i could do what you just did, easy. How much . I pull it off, you come play for the bears . And if you dont . Whatever you want. laughs deal. humming indistinctly well, what happened . No deal. No deal . I thought you said you were good at this. I am. Hes better. See you later. What does that mean . Ill see you later . I thought you said he was out. He is. I just lost the bet, and now i have to go out with him. You have to go out with him . You mean out like out . Huh . Youre 12. There aint no out when youre 12. Calm down, boilermaker. Its just a show with some stupid band. Im not a little girl anymore. I had my period, all right . Do . Do you want me to have a stroke or something . Shut up. Ill be fine. Well, im goin to the concert with you. Whatever. Its just some dumb skate band. What the hell is a skate band . You know, a skate band. The bloodfarts. Bloodfarts. The bloodfarts . Oh, im im goin with ya. Bet your ass on that. groans no doubt. Im goin with ya. cool rock theme playing umpire strike three strike three strike three yeah, way to go, amanda. Good game. Buttermaker pitched a good game, amanda. No duh. Too bad we couldnt even score one run. Well, thats okay. Were doin better. We tied, guys. I mean, i know a ties a lot like kissin your sister, as my old coach used to say. But. The way weve been comin along, its more like kissin a. Really hot stepsister, or Something Like that, you know, that you dont have so much, uh, tied up in. But, um. Ahem, anyway, uh, i think. Im im just sayin, pat yourselves on the back. Stay focused. Ill catch up with you guys. Kelly, how you doin . Girl later. Hey, coach. I havent seen you around. What you been up to . Nothin. Wait. I have seen you around. We havent even talked since you pulled that little. Evel knievel stunt the other day out there, huh . Whats an evel knievel . Dont be a smartass. I could have called the cops on you for that. Thanks. Im real scared. No, im serious. Vandalizing public property. Disturbing the peace. Youre too young to be riding that thing, you know. Youre just a kid. Kelly, this field, its for ball players. Its not for quitters. If it was for quitters, itd be your field. But its not. Id call your dad, if anybody knew where he was. Listen, old man hey, now, you listen to me. Nobody wants you around here, all right . Do you understand . Do you think people like seeing your nuts . New aquafina sparkling. Lightness and refreshment in perfect sync. Aquafina sparkling. For happy bodies. Some said wendys 4 for 4 was the biggest thing since. And now for tonights biggest news. The 4 for 4 now comes with your choice of a junior Bacon Cheeseburger or the new Crispy Chicken blt. Its the biggest thing until. Because its a lot faster than walking for president. Have you found a running mate . I think i just did. No you didnt. This press conference is over. Thats the wrong way sir supported by hotels. Com. catchy upbe music how do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. There are those who evolved. To control energy, teleport, and even fly. Still others evolved so much. They dont even need to wear pants. With hanes xtemp technology, youll stay cool under pressure. Even when saving the world from apocalypse. Wait. What now . Hanes xtemp technology. Because when youre cool, youre comfortable. Xmen apocalypse in theaters may 27 the cure for firehthe common cold cut. Ered vast volumes of premium meats and cheeses steam heated to palate pleasing perfection atop a toasted roll. Rescue todays lunch at firehouse subs, the hero of all subs. Hey, look who it is. Yeah, its the bears best player. chuckling push. Ha, this pottys rockin. Hope youre not gettin wet both laughing tanner hey nobody picks on him but me jimmy lets go come on ah laughs yeah, thats right. Run away, bitches both chuckling nobody ever stood up for me before. Yeah . Maybe if you werent such a spaz all the time, i wouldnt have to. Buttermaker all right, guys, inside corner of the bag. Hey, guys . Lets bring it in. Come on, to the dugout. Everybody to the dugout. Hey, buttermaker. Yeah. Remember that time i played sick, and mom went to work and then you busted me . Mmhmm. And then you guys, sit down and then we went to zuma and went bodysurfing . Uhhuh. We should do that again. Sit down. I got something to talk to you about. Mr. Buttermaker. Dont tanner mr. Buttermaker. What . I gotta leave early today. Were doing leather tanning in art club. Okay, go. Another class. Great, okay. Buttermaker all right, guys, listen up. To coach buttermaker from league headquarters. Regarding player safety and league liability. A reminder that according to regulation 236, all players must wear a comprehensive genital defense apparatus. Now, basically, what that translates to is that if any you guys get hurt, then theyre gonna sue my ass so hard, theyre gonna garnish my turds. So wear these things. Pass them down, sweetie. Alsoyoull wanna write your names on em, because thats how you get crabs. And trust me, you dont wanna spend your sunday afternoon pickin through your Pumpkin Patch with a little comb. Gimme one. Gotta protect the family jewels. Who you kidding . Whens the last time you even saw em . Para La Proteccion de sus huevos preciosos. Does that make any sense . Yeah. Do you speak latin . Im much better at latin. scoffs i dont need these. Buttermaker really . Ill take it. Engelberg all right. He can throw all right, but you think he can hit . Lets find out. Here. Is that all you got . Okay. Got a smartass here. Burn it up. Dont hold back. bizets march of the toreadors playing crowd cheering all cheering Eric Claptons cocaine playing over speakers hey, what time you get off . Engelberg, what kind of diet lets you eat seven hotdogs . No buns. I can have as many as i want, idiot. My dad says the only people who put ketchup on hotdogs. Are mental patients. And texans. Chinese people count with beads. All she dont lie, she dont lie she dont lie cocaine all whooping hey, coach. Ow bloodfarts playing wipeout crowd cheering wipeout continues playing out ooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh go lets go all right all right go go lets go, lets go lets go, lets go ooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh yeah three feet he missed it by three feet three feet it was three feet oh, you want to see spit . Yeah oh, thats nice. Theres spit. Theres spit, okay . And what are you on . cause i want some. [h avy sigh] real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. [deep breath] finger lickin, finger lickin, finger lickin. 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The 4 for 4 now comes with your choice of a junior Bacon Cheeseburger or the new Crispy Chicken blt. Its the biggest thing until. Oohoohooh crowd cheering out cheering all one, two, three angels lets go all right all right go go lets go, lets go lets go, lets go ooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh yeah lets go all right all right umpire youre out go go lets go, lets go lets go, lets go ooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh yeah all right crowd cheering all right safe go go lets go, lets go lets go, lets go ooh oohoohooh crowd cheering oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh oohoohooh come on, get outta my way. Damn it let go of me watch it. I said, watch it let go of me let me tell you something hey put me down put me down put me down damn it. wipeout ends thank you. God bless you, francois. Sorry im late, but, uh. Ive been up to my ears in rat pellets all day. Oh. Thats okay. Thank you for coming. No sweat. Buttermaker, you deserve a celebration. What you have done for toby and those children, it is nothing short of miraculous. I mean, we are one game away from the championships. Its. Unbelievable. Its. Congratulations. Thank you. Well, the kids are great. You know, they really are. So its, you know, kind of their deal. You know, i have to admit that while growing up, i was never much for sports, or the sportstype, really. But since ive been watching you turn the team around, i have been thinking a lot about you. I have an effect on women. Really. Yeah. Well, i havent paid for sex in years. I think a lot of it has to do with, um. Getting older and. You know, being more distinguished. Thats it, yeah. I was thinking more along the lines of the dangerous type. What you hear about the. Bad boy, the sexy scumbag, the serial killer who gets married in prison. I. Have never felt like that. Until i met you. Well. Thanks. toilet flushing mr. Buttermaker. What do you say, whitewood . Wh . Wh . What are doin here . Um. Listen, kid, i, uh. Theres something, um. That you need to do, and thats oil your mitt all the time. So i came by to check and make sure you oil your mitt. Really . Mmhmm. Yeah, im always watchin, yeah. Okay, ill go get it. Be right back. Good deal. I dont have to tell you who well play for the pennant when we blow past these giants today. Right now, were the hottest team in the league. What does that mean for the giants . All bad news for the giants engelberg yeah here we go. One, two, three all break hey, kelly, hang on. Listen, i want you to be like a vacuum cleaner out there today, all right . Anything even close to you, you suck it up. These boys are a little weak. I dont wanna blow it, all right . Were knocking on the door, understand . Cmon, lets go all right, guys, lets go. bizets les tringles des Sistres Tintaient playing buttermaker way to go, kelly way to go, buddy way to hustle. Way to hustle. Strike three announcer shortstop, vigo gonzales. I got it i got it hey, i told you i got it. Yeah. Sorry. Way to go way to go, tanner. Good job, buddy. Good job. I aint doin it no more. Hey, hey, hey. Nows not the time to punk out, okay . You understand me . You do what i told you, do you hear me . Do what i told ya. Youre not gonna screw this up for me. Understand . Understand . Go get your bat. Youre up. Otherwise, why are you here . Announcer leading off for the bears, kelly leak. cheering applause tanner knock it out the park man yeah strike one tanner come on, kelly strike two he could have hit that. Time timeout. Time kelly, come here. Come here quietly come here. What, are you playing mind games with me now . Were that close to the championship. You got daddy issues or something . Hit the damn ball. Now get in there. Come on. Man 2 heads up, now. applause man 3 yeah bizets march of the toreadors playing all cheering yeah we won we won announcer thats a walkoff home run for kelly leak. The bears win 21. The bears advance to the finals this saturday against the yankees. cheering applause engelberg way to go, kelly were going to the championship way to go, buddy. Way to go. Way to go. See you there. march of the toreadors ends how do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. Evil weeds are always lurking. New scotts turf builder kills the weeds you see and the ones you dont with its weed Grip Technology and feeds your grass for a thicker lawn too. New scotts turf builder weed and feed. Go to participating retailers for 10 off. New scotts turf builder weed and feed. Give extra. Get extra. There are those who evolved. To control energy, teleport, and even fly. Still others evolved so much. They dont even need to wear pants. With hanes xtemp technology, youll stay cool under pressure. 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Halfprice cheeseburgers tuesday, may 31st. And get a slush when you download the new sonic app. Aha cinnamon. Milk. Cinnamilk. Cinnamon toast crunch. Crunch crave those crazy squares. Cinnamilk with this contract, i relinquish part of my freedom to you. Theres a contract in every cigarette. When you light up, you sign up. Dont let Tobacco Control you. Its cold. Its supposed to be cold. Just keep your arm in it. Hey, buttermaker, moms gonna be here tomorrow. Oh, perfect. You know, i was thinking, maybe afterwards, we can go to tony romas for the carolina honeys, right . Youre not serious. Tony romas . What do you think . Im mr. Moneybags . Fine. Just us, then. sighs amanda, you really. You gotta quit tryin to make me daddy, cause i didnt say that. Just friends. You know, we can hang out. We can go to zuma. Go bodysurfing. Why are you talking about bodysurfing . Remember when i played sick and we went to zuma . Dont you remember . No, i dont remember that. I dont know what youre talkin about. But, you know, i was always drunk in those days, so i forgot a lot of. Look, i mean, the fact of the matter is. sighs . You dont have any business hanging out with me. Im a damn loser, and you know it. No, youre not. Not to me. chuckles come on, amanda. Im a drunk. You said it yourself. I make a living killing rats to pay rent on a trailer. In sun valley. scoffs im a washout. Come on, buttermaker just stop it dont you think if i wanted to play house with you, i might have called you sometime in the last three years . But i didnt, did i . You know what . Just stop it youre here for one reason, and that reason is sittin in that ice right now. Just leave it at that, will ya . I know why im here. Just felt sorry for you, thats all. sniffles sniffles dramatic march playing march stops im just sayin, keep your glove oiled. I mean, he came over to check mine. Really . Yeah. Hey. Dont talk to me. Im only here for them. Toby. Yo, what the hell . What . Somethin wrong . You would know. Whatd you say . You heard me. Hey hey, whats up with you guys . Hes a ballhog yeah . Well, that ballhog won your last game. So calm your ass down. Stay out of it, engelberg speak for yourself, shorty. Takin sides, slimfast . You got a problem, tanner . No, you do. Its called me puttin a foot up your ass. Guys, come on all clamoring buttermaker hey hey prem guys, break it up break it up come on, come on, come on. Get up, get up. Get up now, stand still and listen to me. I said, stop it. Okay . Now, what the hells goin on . Hes a. He thinks hes better than us. Who . Him. He is. How do you think we got this far . Wasnt your playin, thats for sure. I dont need this crap, im outta here. Come here. Toby no, stop. You stand still. Stop it stop it i said, stop it now, i told him to cover for you. So if youre gonna yell at somebody, you yell at me, okay . You did . Yeah, i did. You wanna win, right . Isnt that what you guys wanna do, win . Now, quit actin like a bunch of damn babies. cause we got a chance. Pick your gloves up. We got a championship to win. Bullock the entire season and everything weve worked for comes down to the next six innings that you play. How you do and the result of that effort, is gonna have a big bearing on how you feel about yourself in the next year. You gonna go through the world seeing yourself as a winner . Or a loser . Because believe me, being a winner is just. Is, i dont know, just better. chuckles way i see it, that trophy up there has got your name on it. And those guys over there. Are trying to steal it from you. Whose trophy is it, danny . Ours, coach. Whose name is on that trophy, sanchez . Yankees . Take a good long look at your opponents over there. Do they look like champions . Huh . Not for me to say. But no, they dont. Youre a great team, its been a great season, but its not over yet. Lets go finish it, huh . One, two, three all yankees buttermaker all right, lets go, guys. Bears one, two, three bears buttermaker hustle up, guys. Lets go get em. cheering applause all b, e, ars go, bears go, bears whooping go, toby honks announcer next up for the yankees, number 10, jimmy wilkins. Strike one all right all right, amanda way to go, honey. Boy yeah, run man bring it in safe way to go, jimmy good hustle. Thats pretty good, guys. Did you see that . Damn near got him. Way to get down the line. If it wasnt for kelly and that chick, you guys wouldnt even be here. Excuse me . You heard me. None of you can play worth crap. Oh, yeah . Yeah. What are you going to do about it. Oreo . My m. About my toothpasteice. She eveand mouthwash. Ice. But shes a dentist so. I kind of have to listen. She said jen, go pro with crest prohealth advanced. Advance to healthier gums. And stronger teeth from day one. Using crest toothpaste and mouthwash makes my. Whole mouth feel awesome. And my teeth are stronger too. Crestpro health advanced. Is superior to colgate total. 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Thwe didnt know if it wasg a even something that we could plausibly do. But having the zestimate in which they kinda calculate out what the approximate value of the house, maybe, should be. It took all of that kind of scary risk away. I cant tell you how much happier we are having a place of our own. Whatever home means to you, well help you find it. Zillow. Now batting, number 9, joey bullock. Bullock there it is bullock lets go, lets go take third take third safe crowd cheering boy amanda, your training bras too tight all jeering strike three engelberg we got one, we got two. Pitch this one out easy out. Announcer number 5, rightfielder, richard card. Man its about time, amanda ball. Batter go, go, go, go safe crowd groaning engelberg you okay . Come on, get up. Come on. All right you okay, sweetie . Heres what im gonna do, cracker. Unh bullock hey, hey, hey, get back in the dugout. Hey all clamoring hey, hey, hey bullock break it up buttermaker break it up, guys. Come on see you, mr. groans damn right, loser get off him get off of me get behind the plate. Come on. Get back. Get back. Get back. Come on. Come on. Buttermaker back on the field kelly, i said, back on the field get out there boy you guys are a bunch of punks so is this what you teach em . You bowl over little girls like that . Is that what you do . Its called baseball, or maybe you forgot. And dont talk to me about fair play when your kids are throwing punches. You watch em, okay . You ought to take a good look at yourself, you hasbeen. Traded it all in for booze and broads. Youre disgusting. What did you say . Oh, you cant hear me . Say it again say it again get back to your dugout, you crybaby listen to you, crybaby. Get your drugout, you. Back to your dugouts sorry, chief. Sorry. Umpire ready . Bullock yeah. Hey, you wanna play ball, grapenuts . Lets play. All right . Piece of crap. Play ball cream it, whitewood honks buttermaker come on, whitewood. Come on, buddy. Get a piece of it. Come on, joe. Youre better than that, son. Good job, toby. Thanks. Man whitewood i wouldve tagged you out, but i was afraid your mom wouldve sued the ball. chuckles lets go, abdul. Lets go, buddy. Keep it goin. Ahmad is it abdul or ahmad . Hooper ahmad. Buttermaker whatever it is. Ahmad, lets keep it goin, buddy way to go bullock joey hey, that was your play that was your play. Get your ass over there. Pull your head out, son. Hey, garo, come here. Listen, you hit lefty, so hes gonna pitch you in tight, all right . So i want you to lean into it and take the hit. I i cant. But see, heres the thing. If you get on, were loaded, and kellys up next. So come on. Lets do it. But i i just wanna hit the ball. Well, sometimes its better if the ball hits you. Its called takin one for the team. Now, lets go. Come on, garo lets go, buddy lets go. Be alert, guys announcer now batting from the left side of the plate, number 10, garo daragebrigadian. Oh ball take your base. Thats the way, buddy thats what im talking about, right there. Thats what im talking about. Way to take it, buddy. Next batter for the bears, number five, kelly leak. Tanner come on, kelly kick some ass hey, buttocks watch this. Yeah. bizets march of the toreadors playing crowd cheering man whatre you guys doin . Strike two thats okay, joey. Its all right. Focus. Just relax. Relax engelberg your old man help you pee too . Shake it a little more, joey. Dont wanna get any stains on your underwear. Keep talkin, fatty. Whatever. God see you later, joey. Have a nice time on the bench. Announcer now batting, number three, andrew wong. Go, baby go, baby go, baby watch it, watch it. Go yes yes yes get out there thats how you do it . That made you look what paint differently. What if its built with better ingredients. And even given super powers . Since Benjamin Moore reinvented paint. Is it still paint . Benjamin moore. Paint like no other. Pizza with Bacon Cheeseburger on it. 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So we constantly scrutinize millions of rates. Answering the question once and for all, who has the lowest. Just go to compare. Com and get up to 50 free quotes. Choose the lowest, and hit purchase. So you can get back to whatever it is you civilians do when youre not thinking about Car Insurance. Compare. Com shoshow me more like this. E. Show me previously watched. Whats recommended for me. X1 makes it easy to find what you love. Call or go online and switch to x1. Only with xfinity. Hey, buttermaker cheering applause slow, solemn theme playing time what the hells wrong with you . Why dont you just put a bow on it, huh . Its my arm. Its killin me. I dont wanna hear it. You want toby in . No, i dont. Yeah, you wanna win . Yeah, i do. Yeah . Yeah. Then get it together, okay . Announcer number 12, mike van horn. crowd cheering safe good hustle, van horn way to beat it out what in the hell are you doin . this is not tball you guys watchin that . Lets go, lets go. Good job. What are these kids doing . Announcer number 14, left fielder, jeff wong. Umpire fair ball safe wait. Whoa. Hey, hey, hey, ump. What are you talking about . He got it. The throw was here on time. That was stupid what, are you helen keller . He was under the tag. Are you kidding me . Butterballs, stay in your dugout keep your eyes peeled, man. Its your job. Stop embarrassing yourself, crybaby. Its a good call, ump. Very good call. Garo, that was perfect last time. Do the same thing. Lean in, just get on base. Kellys up next. Why cant i just hit the ball like everyone else . Because thats selfish. You gotta think about the team. I know it stings a little, but itll be worth it. Come on. Next up for the bears. Lets go, garo . Garo daragebrigadian. Lets go, buddy. Boy you got this guy, joey umpire out. What in the hell are you doin out there . Get in here ump, time time. What the hells the matter with you, kid . Whats the matter with all of you . My arm hurts. Why cant i hit away like the other kids . Do you remember what it was like . Remember the first game . They were laughin at us. Now we got their backs up against the wall, theyre scared of us, and now you wanna give up. Is that the deal . I thought you wanted to win. I thought you wanted to be champions. Well, do ya . Do ya . sighs look. sighs youre up next, kelly. Come on, lets go. Umpire lets play ball. Announcer now batting, number five, kelly leak. Go, joey. Catcher, mike engelberg. Hi, joey. Kiss my ass. Umpire time. Uhoh. Here comes daddy. How you doin . Fine. All right. The way this guy is hittin, and the way youre pitchin today, i think maybe we ought to go and walk him. Next batters an easy out. But i can take him. I know you can. Come on, dad. Hey. Do as youre told. Come on. Lets get em. Lets go boy okay, lets get this guy. Boy 2 get him, joey. Hey, hey what was that . You tried to hit him. Did you try to hit him . No, it just got away from me. Thats nonsense, joey crowd murmurs dont you ever throw at a batter you never ever throw at a batter you understand me . You never do that crowd gasps never do that get up. Bullock you couldve hurt him. wind whistling crowd murmuring when you can choose to smooth . Choose suprises over dull. Design, over in a lull. Choose skin you adore. Choose venus. Choose more. Choose to take a stand. Choose to smooth. Venus. [h avy sigh] real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. [deep breath] finger lickin, finger lickin, finger lickin. Gooooood dright now at lowes. Memorial day savings like 5 bags of mulch for only 10. Plus get a free bag of 5m scotts® turf builder lawn fertilizer with purchase of select scotts® turf builder products. Hurry in today to make your home happy at lowes. Introducing pizza huts first 5 flavor menu. Just five bucks each when you order two or more. 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X1 makes it easy to find what you love. Call or go online and switch to x1. Only with xfinity. Sharihe couldve hurt him. Dont overreact. Tch. Im taking him home. Now. Are you kidding . Its the middle of the game. He finishes the ga, after that, you can take him wherever you want. Dont do the arm cross. Do not do the arm cross. cheering gradually resumes hey, engelberg. cheering applause ohhh. Oh whitewood yes, go bizets habanera playing Engelberg Engelberg Engelberg Engelberg justin. Youre on the mound. Strike two umpire strike three crowd applauds announcer going into the sixth and final inning, bears lead 54. Okay, jose, you and tanner sit this one out. What . What the hell . lupus, you go to second base. Hooper, go to right field. Prem wheres prem . Go to left. Are you sure . Yeah, im sure. What . You heard me. Right field. Hooper are you crazy . I cant go out there, im in a wheelchair. I thought you wanted to play baseball. Hell, no. Why the hell would i want to play baseball . Im a damn paraplegic. So you just wanna sit here and get splinters in your ass all season . Is that what you want . If you wont play ball, why are you here . Last time i checked, this is a baseball team. And youre all on the team. Every one of you. So do what i said. You guys go out there and play baseball, okay . Whurlitzer, where are you goin . Finish the game. Not with that arm, honey. What . You go and put it on ice. Come on, sit down. Toby, hit the mound. Toby really . Yes, im serious. I know youre not used to listening to me, but for a change, just sit here and enjoy the game with me, all right . And try to forgive, i dont know. Just try to forgive me, will ya . All right, guys, lets show the yankees what bad news is all about. Look at hooper. chuckles i bet its just blowin their minds. Pitched a great game, honey. Come here. And hooper, the kid in the wheelchair, uhhuh. He goes to right for whitewood. What does that do to your batting order . Well, one goes to four, four goes to five, two goes to three, three goes to two, six goes to one, and seven, eight, nine are cool. I guess you know what youre doing, buttermaker. Yeah, i do. cheering applause light, cheerful theme playing batting practice. Hey, lets keep the rally going, guys. Come on. Hey, toby, you need to scoot up a little bit . Announcer now batting for the yankees, danny patello. cheering applause youre out bat clanks cheering applause announcer speaks indistinctly here we go, richie keep it goin. bat clanks boy down, down. Get down youre out yeah, buddy yes, sir. Way to go, kelly good throw, buddy. Good throw. Two out. We need one more out, guys. Cmon. One more out. Cmon. Announcer next for the yankees, mike van horn. Boy come on, kill it plane ascending suspenseful theme playing cheering applause oh he did it did you see that . Unbelievable. Way to go, hooper whooooo the little crippled boy did it announcer and at the bottom of the sixth, yankees lead 8 to 5. Pretty impressive, guys. Way to go, lupus. Way to go, man. Thats a hero right there. All right. Hooper come on, man. Yeah, hooper get in here. Put that thing in fourth gear. Good goin, man. Great catch. Nice catch. All right, hooper. Buttermaker hey, guys, four more runs, we win the game. How about that . Prem. Wheres prem . Youre up, buddy. I have to remind you, mr. Buttermaker, that my batting average is well below the norm. And whats that . Zero for a lifetime. Well. Youre due one, man. So. Get out there. Really . Absolutely, buddy. Lets go, guys. All right. Buttermaker, come here. Excellent. This should be fun. Listen, im a little busy right now. What the hell are you doing . We had the lead, and now youre putting wheelchairs in the outfield . I mean, youre letting toby pitch . What are you thinking . You know, hes your son. Yes, and he wants to win just like everyone else. Really . How would you know what he wants . When do you see him, between basket weaving and ballet . You have some damn nerve. Are you actually telling me how to raise my child . No, im not telling you how to raise your child. But maybe somebody should. I got a game to coach. Announcer leading off for the bears, number 19, prem lahiri. Lets go, prem. Buttermaker lets go. Keep your eye on it. Ill be damned. Way to go way to go, prem. Way to go safe did you see that . Way to go, buddy way to go now batting, number 4, timmy lupus. Strike one come on, lupus. Strike two come on, lupus if you wanna hit the ball, you gotta swing the bat look at that lupus hit the ball run run tanner run buttermaker run run run run run run safe all luuuupus luuuupus luuuupus luuuupus buttermaker all right, guys. Hey, miguel. Miguel, you know what to do. Next up, number 14, miguel agilar. Buttermaker lets go, guys crowd cheers umpire youre out dadgum it buttermaker its okay, prem. Its all right, buddy. Way to hustle, way to hustle. Good hit, miguel. Lucky hit. We showed these hey yeveryday experts. Ide . 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Lets go. Lets go. Boy get back get back bullock collins. Ball one boy chicken ball two kelly. Kelly. suspenseful theme playing boy back, back get back cheering applause joyous theme playing groans two outs. Come on, one more. Hey, garo. Garo, come here. Boy one more out, guys one more. Hit the ball, buddy. Boy come on, garo number 10. Bullock no pressure, guys . Garo daragebrigadian. Lets get that out come on, justin right to him strike one bullock come on, guys justin strike two boy one more, baby. One more boy 2 come on, justin thrilling theme playing oh. Oh come on slide slide slide youre. Out cheering applause we won we did it yells indistinctly squawks, hisses it was a hell of a hit, son. Im proud of you, man. Im really proud of you. Hey, who wants a beer . What are you doing . Were celebrating. You deserve it. Wait. Nonalcoholic. Whats the damn point . chuckles just drink it, man. There you go. All right, guys. Want you to listen up. I wanna tell you something. In all my years of being associated with baseball teams, being around em, seeing em, whatever. I gotta tell you, this is my favorite team. Im real proud of you guys. You played your asses off against. Well, pretty. Pretty big odds, i guess. But, uh. Look at those little bastards over there. Well. Lets go get this over with, okay . On a game like this, kids, i just want you all to know that theres no losers, and theres no winners. I mean, technically, yeah, but. These things, they dont mean anything. Wow. Thats some good weight. Jimmy, you wanted to say a few words . Uh. Yyou guys had a good season. You started off pretty lame. But then you got better. We just wanted you to know that. Yyou got our respect. Bullock respect. Boy right on. And to the bears. Your secondplace trophy. crowd applauds gee, thanks, mister. Bullock hey, lets bring it in and give em a cheer, huh . Bring it in here. One, two, three all bears cheering applause prem hey, yankees you can take your crappy trophies and shove em right up your asses. Nice. See ya next year, bitches simple plans promise playing engelberg way to go, you guys i promise i wont let you down you down if you take my hand tonight i promise well be just fine hooper, i told you i was gonna make you into a ballplayer, didnt i, buddy . Good game, buttermaker. You too, sweetie. You too. Oh, and by the way, i meant to tell you this. It was redondo beach. What . When we went out to the beach, surfing and all that stuff, it wasnt zuma, it was redondo beach. You wore that stupid yellow bathing suit. You remember. Of course i remember. Next time, well go to zuma. Hows that . Okay. Im proud of you. Great game. Im proud of you. Good game. Way to go, lupus. This is whats called a moral victory, toby. Now, its not quite as good as the real thing, but its very nice. Way to go, garo. Good game, brother. I told him we won. Excellent. See what im talkin about . I promise i wont let you down you down. [music playing] [music lindsey buckingham, holiday road]