Heres how it would look if they were dining together. Not a pretty picture. The bat or shrimp primavera. And if dr. Fauci has so much integrity, then why is he working with these unscrupulous characters . Anthony fauci if it were up to him, we would all be alive. Im donald trump and i wish you were dead. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, surgin u. S. A. Plus, stephen welcomes tom hanks. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen what do you think about the hair today . You like it . Its a little fluffy. Grey. Stephen its a little grey. But it was grey before. Now its grey and fluffy. Its got vitality. Im going for a sort of Bernard Henri levy modern french philosopher look. Good. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Its day 123 since i left my theater, but whos counting . I am. By carving notches into my shin just to feel the passage of time. And its beginning to seem like our four months of sacrifice may have been for naught. Because coronavirus cases are spiking all over the country. Even the states that did it right are now backsliding. For instance, yesterday, governor gavin newsom announced a new wave of california closures as covid19 positive rates spiked there. Theyre shutting down, again. Hollywood loves a sequel. This time its shutdown 2 we opened up 2 fast and people are furious. Yesterday, newsom instructed bars, movie theatres,ndoos to ce indoor operations. Also closed are all indoor restaurantzoos like actual panda express. Oh, yeah. Theyll eat ya. They run out of bamboo, they move on to the manboo. It was also announced that los angeles and san diego have abandoned plans for even a partial physical return to classrooms. No inperson schooling. So bullies, youre going to have to get the nerds to venmo you their lunch money. We know trump wants to reopen the schools, and this is surprising, hes not wrong to want that. Because according to experts during the first round of school closures, American Children were set back, on average, by seven months in their reading and math learning. Were already seven months behind on math. If we fall another seven months behind, there will be no way to know how many months that is. But as bad as things are in california, as it says in their tourist logo, its always worse in florida. On saturday, the state broke the nations Covid Infection record, and yesterday florida announced another 12,000 new cases. Well, at least they dont have a lot of old people down there. Or at least, thanks to their governor, they wont in about three weeks. Yesterday, one Infectious Disease expert said this miami is now the epicenter of the pandemic. What we were seeing in wuhan six months ago, five months ago, now we are there. Stephen yes, miami is the his name from mr. 305 to mr. 282,000 cases. This has presented a problem for Florida Governor and escaped museum exhibit, ron desantis. Desantis didnt take the virus seriously and now his state is the epicenter, but hes not worried a lot of folks have been working a long time, really since march on this. I know weve had different blips and now were at a higher blip than we were in may and the beginning of june. Stephen you see, surge is scary, but a blip is just a fun word florida is having a big blip due to record cases of oopsie testies and over 4,000 zippity doodeaths. But its okay, it might not be that bad. Lets take a look at the curve in florida. Gah if you think thats just a blip, governor, youve got blip for brains. Coincidentally, floridas also the site of the upcoming Republican National convention. Theyll be fine, as long as everyone remembers to wear their elephant plague masks. Trump moved the convention from charlotte, North Carolina to jacksonville, florida because North Carolina officials insisted on things like social distancing and masks for attendees. as trump wearing a mask blocks all the sensation. You cant even feel it when you reach nomination. Im just going to take it off at the end and nominate myself. That joke stays in. That joke stays in. A lot of republicans are planning to skip trumps covid comin out party including senator roy blunt of missouri, senator pat roberts of kansas, senator charles e. Grassley, and senator Lamar Alexander. Why are those guys so worried about going . Can we take a look at them, jim . Oh, my god, theyre all beyond high risk. They are blips waiting to happen. They got one blip in the grave. Its not just seniors, as one g. O. P. Representative put it, everybody just assumes no one is going. Even the r. S. V. P. S say check one not attending, what . No or im ready, jesus. But no one wants to get on trumps bad side, so theyre all ready with airtight excuses for why theyre staying home. Take 84 yearold senator pat roberts who explained, he would likely not be attending because he had some things to do in kansas and, in any case, he didnt know what was canceled and what was not and whatever. Oh, id love to go but ive already scheduled. Things. Kansas stuff. Polish the tornadoes. Meet the wheat. Gotta do the whatchamacallit with the whose his face. Not to mention put the doohickey on my thingamabob with. mumbles sorry. I cant hear you, my mask is going through a tunnel i dont blame any of these people for not going. Not only is florida the new epicenter, but in addition Party Officials were considering docking cruise ships in the citys port to provide extra lodging. So youre in florida, spending all day in an auditorium full of screaming people who wont wear masks, then you go home to sleep on a floating petri dish. Only way it would be more infectious is if dinner was an all you can bob lasagna buffet. Of course, not everyones afraid. One 80yearold r. N. C. Member from virginia says, its a risk you have to take. You take risks every day. You drive down the street and a cement truck could crash into you. as trump ooo, thats a great idea for the finale of my speech. I get to drive a cement truck. Toot toot. Hold still florida representative matt gaetz is not concerned about who is and who isnt going, telling reporters, everyone in the media wants to act like its some big deal that Susan Collins and Lamar Alexander arent going to the convention. The octogenarians and septuagenarians of the senate are surely lower than the number who have purchased their third star wars costume. Of course, matt gaetz comes with his own star wars costume. There may be a safer way, though, because republicans are looking into holding their convention outdoors. Thats right. An Outdoor Convention in late august in florida. I dont know if theyve drained the swamp, but they better be believe a previeof swamp ass. Mick mulvaney delivering his keynote speech in the florida heat screaming he looks good. The solution to this rapid spread is as plain as the nose on your face which i shouldnt be able to see because it should be behind a mask but unfortunately for future republican votes, people who dont wear masks seem always to be republicans. Take texas senator and man whose beard shrunk in the dryer, ted cruz. A fellow passenger recently photographed cruz on an American Airlines flight not wearing a mask. You cant expect cruz to hide the moneymaker in that i would pay money to see less of his face. The airlines have a policy that passengers must wear face coverings during the flight but cruzs staff explained that the senator had just temporarily removed his mask to drink coffee. But the same passenger also took this photo of cruz at the gate also not wearing a mas come on, ted, whats it gonna take to get you to be a fan of masks . Have the masks call your wife ugly and accuse your dad of killing j. F. K. . Thats based on a true story, that joke. Republicans are also attacking the most reliable person telling us to wear a mask, dr. Anthony fauci. The latest person to go after the good doctor is trump adviser and paper football goalpost stephen moore. Moore says hes writing a memo that shows how many times dr faucis been wrong during not just this pandemic, but his working on it for weeks. Been i wouldnt make that too long of a memo, steve. Trump tends to lose interest on page any. Moore says, faucis been dr. Doom. Yeah, faucis exactly like dr. Doom. Greetings fantastic four remember to stay six feet apart wash your hands for 20 seconds, and be like me wear a mask or prepare to meet your doom i want you to keep your nana safe hahahahaha stephen okay, while we were taping tonights episode, just now, trump sat down for a stand up interview with cbs news catherine herridge. And in this interview, he reminded us that as bad as he is dealing with the coronavirus, hes just as bad with race relations. Lets talk about george floyd. You said George Floyds death was a terrible thing. Terrible. Why are African Americans still dying at the hands of Law Enforcement in this country . And so are white people. So are white people. What a terrible question to ask. So are white people. More white people, by the way, more white people. Stephen well, thats comforting. as trump such a terrible question. Let me stop you right there. Our meare ki l. No lives matter. Y, herite then turned to, lets would you be comfortable with your supporters displaying the confederate battle flag at political events . Well, you know, it depends on what your definition is, but i am comfortable with freedom of speech. Its very simple. Stephen it depends on what your definition is of what . Of flag . Okay, ill give you that one Confederate Flag noun. Flappy thing people in the south flew when they were fighting the United States so they could continue to enslave black people. Nothing . Sorry, i forgot who i was dealing with. Its that x thing on the top of the dukes of hazzard car. Trump doesnt get what all the fuss with the Confederate Flag is about. But you understand why the flag is a painful symbol for many people because its a reminder of slavery. Well people love it, and i dont view i know people that like the Confederate Flag and theyre not thinking about slavery. Stephen as trump theyre not thinking about slavery, theyre just thinking about the very fine people who fought to preserve slavery. Big difference, cathy. Trumps lousy summer is about to get even lousier because, today, a new tellall was released, and this one hits home because its written by president ial niece, and woman worried how youll feel about her when you find out her last name is trump, mary trump. Trumps own family is turning on him. Hes gonna have to keep an eye on his kids and not just in case eric gets his head stuck inside a birdhouse again. Mary trumps book about her uncle is called too much and never enough. I believe she got the title after watching her uncle at an omelet bar. Trumps brother sued to stop the release of this book, but were seeing it now because, last night, a judge ruled that the books discussion of the trump family was not covered in their 2001 confidentiality agreement. Well, theres a red flag. alrid its family game night but first, lets sign this n. D. A. So no one ever learns that dad loses his bleep when he lands on park place. Okay. Have that notarized. Mary trump has known donald trump all her life, and she does not hold back. In the book, she says that, donald is not simply weak, his ego is a fragile thing that must be bolstered every moment because he knows deep down that he is nothing of what he claims to be. He knows he has never been loved. Hey, okay, thats not fair. We know hes been loved at least twice. 130,000 worth. Mary trump writes a lot about donalds dad, fred trump, labeling him a highfunctioning sociopath. If only he had passed down the highfunctioning part. Weve got a great show for you tonight, tom hanks is here yes, that tom hanks stick around. The new house is amazing. So much character. Original crown molding, walk in closets. At least geico makes bundling our home and Car Insurance easy. It does help us save. Round and round with love well find a way, just give it time. Round and round what comes around, goes around. For bundling made easy, go to geico. Com a mobile plan that blows away those highpriced plans boost mobiles all new hrinkit plan the longer you stay, the less you pay. Watch your bill shrink to 35 month after just 6 ontime payments. Plus get a free lg k51 when you switch on our new, upgraded network. Boost mobile. Its like walking into the Chocolate Factory and you won a golden ticket. Ace sks. Its like walking into the Chocolate Factory this looks like a bottle of vodka. But when we first got these, we were like whoa [laughing] my threeyearold, when we get a box delivered, screams mommys work mommys work. With this pandemic, safety is even more important to make sure we go home safe every single day. I dont have to worry about sthat, do i . Are irritated. Ant to make sure we go home harmful bacteria lurk just below the gum line. Crest gum detoxify, voted product of the year. It works below the gum line to neutralize harmful plaque bacteria and help reverse early gum damage. Gum detoxify, from crest. My psoriasis. Cosentyx works on all of this. Cosentyx treats the multiple symptoms of Psoriatic Arthritis to help you look and feel better. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Watch me learn more at cosentyx. Com. Week one, here we go. Did everybody read the book . [miscellaneous responses of no] [orange] i read it captain. I read it. It was amazing. It opened my eyes. Nah, im just joking. I dont have eyes. [captain] Great Book Club guys. [orange] you know i cant read captain. Stephen welcome back, everybody. My first guest tonight is a great big movie star who has now written and stars in the new film, greyhound. Right hard rudder, hard over right hard rudder, hard over starboard slow astern port ahead full starboard slow astern port ahead full all hands, brace for collision stephen please welcome to a late show, tom hanks hello, tom you know, one thing i have to say, your your your your joke bit rate is sky high when i watch your monologues now, because theres absolutely no gap for anything. You dont have anybody you know, jon isnt over there. You cant stephen nope laughter well, you do, but theres no laughter. Stephen theres no but heres the nice thing, tom, and lets just assume weve already started our interview, shall we . Fine by me. Stephen heres the nice thing is that we always talk about the National Conversation, and the National Conversation has gotten so dark, that, normally, as a performer, you have to worry about what order do i want to tell the stories . I dont want to bum out the f res monologue. Doesnt matter, man. Talk about anything you want. Its just silence, just crickets the entire time. Its like you had a dinner party and nobody showed up, except you and the wife. Stephen thats true. Chatting about your day. Chatting about your day. Stephen speaking of you and the lovely wife, i know that the two of you just celebrated your birthday. Happy birthday, first of all. Thank you. Im 64 years old. There you go. You know how when you turn 64, you just get 900 emails and every single one of them references that beetles song, every. Single. One of them. Stephen did you do anything special for your birthday . Uh, no. Stephen oh, thats too bad. Nothing. Nothing. Stephen i suppose everything seems a little special right now, because the two of you were the first, sort of famous people that any of us knew, to go through the famous people. laughter i love that you not only did you do that, but you threw in sort of as well. Sort of. Stephen well, i dont want you to be defined. I know you dont define yourself as being famous, youre just Thomas Jeffery hanks. Youre not youre just the same guy. No, no. You know, when that came up, we decided because we were down in australia and i was about to start working on the movie. The movie the movie got shut down almost in tandem with us getting our positive results. So, we didnt want there to be, like, a brand of information out there, that we were the cause of the movie being shut down. So its, hey positive and then they put us in the hospital so we would not give it to anybody else, you see. Stephen were you surprised that you got the coronavirus . Because a lot of us were surprised. When we found out that tom hanks and rita wilson had it, we were like, well, then, were all screwed. laughter because we were like, if they if theyre i mean, theyre famous if they got it yeah. Stephen you travel in a hermetic bubble, right, at all times . Youre the boy in the bubble at all times. Yes, i do. I actually have a staff of six that keep an orb of plexiglass around me at all times, and i stephen were you shocked . I breathe purified air inside. Stephen were you surprised . Yes, we were. We had no idea how it could have happened, or where it would have happened. Then we went back, and they actually asked us, where have you been and what have you done . And we had been down in sydney. My wife had actually performed she sang at one of the theaters, inside of the sydney opera house, which was a fabulous thing. Our son was down there. It was fabulous, great. And we took a fabulous tour of sydney harbah on a boat. Went back to our location, where we were shooting the movie. I actually had a day of rehearsal. And then, on the ride home, it was then, i announced grandly and when i speak, honestly, people drop everything theyre doing. Stephen of course. And i said, you know, im feeling a little punky. I feel punky, i dont stephen punky, okay. And they said, okay, were going to get a test. Rita actually had a headache. She was feeling bad. I felt punky. And we were tested in the afternoon. At 10 00, it came back positive, and by the next morning we were surround by people in p. P. E. And isolated in a hospital. Now, everybody says, you know, how did it feel, what was it like . We had very different symptoms. Stephen you and rita, different . Very different. Actually, other than the headache she had a higher fever than i did. She had horrible nausea, horrible nausea. Stephen did you lose the taste and the smell . She did. I did not. And that was before that was known to be a thing. We were eating takeout food that i would have thought was delicious. It was savory goodness. It had butter sauces, it had come from a thing highly recommended joint, and she was saying, this tastes like oatmeal to me. I thought she was insane. But she had lost the i had bones that felt like they were made out of soda crackers. Every time i moved around, i felt like something was cracking inside me. And you know when you have you ever had laughs you ever have a really sore butt, steve . Stephen yes, i have, tom. Yes, i have. It felt like your older brother had held you down and just kept fisting you in the buttocks, you know . Until you until you said something like, i love flipper say it, say it i love flipper say it, say it i love flipper well, i finally said, i love flipper. But it felt like i had my butt was just so sore. And stephen i will never watch the Television Show flipper in the same way now. laughter this tells you something about the relationship between me and my older brother, in which i was forced to admit that i loved flipper. But thats how i felt, thats how i felt. And we got over it over time, and stephen how long, though . How long did it take to recover . With the fatigue i mean, bonecrushing fatigue as well. It was about eight days eight, nine days. Stephen and the australians couldnt have been nicer about it . They were very they were very open, about. Well, they had it down, Contact Tracing and all that kind of stuff. I even said, look, if i wasnt if i wasnt the big sort of celebrity that i am, what would i have done if i had started feeling punky . And they said, well, if you had, you would have gone to one of our fever clinics. They had these fever clinics. And if you had if you had a fever, they would have said, where have you been, who have you talked to . Now, go to the hospital and well lock you up. So they were doing that, already. There was one moment where we were in the hospital and, just to move, just to bend a little bit, i did some kind of, like, stretches on the floor, and i almost passed out, down on the floor. I pulled myself up in the bed. I felt really horrible. And when they came in for one of the 19 times a day they checked my fever, checked my oxygen, checked my lungs, i said, you know, the weirdest thing just happened. I just tried to do some stretches on the floor and i didnt last more than seven minutes and i almost passed out down there, and i had to pull myself in the bed. Whats that about, doctor . And the doctor said, you have covid19. And i said, thats why youre a doctor and im sort of sort of famous. Stephen tom, we have to take a break. Everybody stick around. Well be right back with more mr. Tom hanks. Up at 2 00am again . Tonight, try pure zzzs all night. Unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. And longer. Zzzquil pure zzzs all night. Fall asleep. Stay asleep. Contactless delivery tarright to your door,very designed for your day. So you can work out, join in, and game on. Just download the target app and try it today. Yes. Neutrogena® ultra sheer. 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With tmobiles supercharged network, you can say goodbye to annoying scam calls, and feel free to answer your phone again. Hello stephen hey, everybody, were back here with tom hanks. Famous guy. Now, i understand that youre donating your plasma now. What is that for . I have, yes. Stephen what does that do . Are you the omega man . Will you cure all of us, tom . I am hoping that they will take just a thimble of my plasma, and, from that, create the hanxccine that will, that will stephen trademark. Copyright. Oh, my lawyer is watching, and if he doesnt take care of this, heads are going to roll. Ill fire him on zoom. Thats how fast that will happen, my friend. So stephen legal zoom you know, when you give plasma i thought it was like giving blood. I thought, you go in and they look you up to, essentially, the worlds most complicatedlooking slurpee machine. Stephen sure. And i thought they i thought they took the blood out. They take the blood out, but then they put it right back in. So theyre taking the plasma out of your blood, so youre not losing any blood. Youre essentially losing moisture, water, liquid, the plasma that is in your blood. And i did it twice, and there is no discomfort to it. You just kind of go down and fill out a lot of papers and talk about everywhere youve been for the last 14 years. And then you lay down, you take a nice nap and they give you a free bottle of gatorade when its done. Its a great deal. Stephen but then what happens with the hankscine, what happens with the hanks plasma . What, does it does that get injected into other people and say, here, this guy already had it once and youre youll have immunity now . They take they take we give about 800 milliliters, and from that, four people can be treated. Stephen im from america, tom, whats a i dont, i dont know, whats 800 milliliters . Im going to say, its about the size of a big gulp, you know, a 32ouncer. Im going to say its about that much. I have no idea. Stephen thats a lot thats a lot of fluid but if you split that split that four ways. Stephen wow and those people do get better, according to some of the studies that i have read about. Stephen wow its not like, you dont get to meet them or anything like that. Its not, you dont get to swipe right and see who your plasma mate is. Thats a mystery, as far as that goes. But, heres the latest our antibody numbers have diminished, over time. Stephen okay, ive heard about this. Ive heard about this, that, with this virus, maybe you dont keep the immunity forever. Im not as many people say on television these days now, stephen, i am not a doctor, but thats what i understand. And if thats the case, we said, well, can we get it again . Maybe. Will it be just as bad . Maybe not. Probably not. Are we immune now . Not sure. Okay. So, again, the hangfire status remains. No one really knows the x factor of this. Stephen the uncertainty is one of the unnerving aspects of this. Its, a, also not knowing how long were going to have to do this. As somebody whos gone through this and knows firsthand this is not a hoax, how do you feel when you see people not Wearing Masks out there . I think americans, you know, i dont i dont get it. You know, its literally you know, they say, well, its the least you can do. Its literally the least you can do. Its literally the least you can do, is wear a cloth or a thing. I mean, i wear bandannas, double thing, you know, doublelayered. A mask, and wash your hands, and try to stay six feet away from a person is this impossible now . I think of i think of the George Washingtons troops at valley forge. You know, if you ask them to wear a mask, theyd love it because it would keep them a little bit warm. And they would have washed their hands if the snows were not freezing. They would have been happy to do that. Stephen did you know . Thats why i dont get it. Stephen you probably do know this, because youre a student of american history. Diow tgeorgt oops be inoc yes, yeah, by way of the scarlet fever. Stephen yeah. And i just read Lawrence Wrights new book about called its so prescient, its crazy. But yeah, they would take a little bit of the pus from somebody who had scarlet fever and put inside you, and that would get you a little sick for a little bit, but then you wouldnt be you wouldnt suffer from the fever. But, okay, so, but, honestly, if you drive a car stephen honestly . Honestly, if you drive a car, do you think its your constitutional right not to use your turn signals . You should use your turn signals because otherwise, you might run into somebody, somebody might run into you, right . You want to you want to obey some aspect of the speed limit, right . I mean, you dont want to go 120 miles an hour in a school zone you slow down, right . You try not to hit buildings and pedestrians you give that a shot, right . Isnt that the least you can do when youre driving a car . I think the least you can do in the United States of america and around the world is wear a mask and wash your hands and keep your distance, holy smokes. Stephen in quarantine, and i assume youre staying away from people right now, wherever you are in the world and im not going to ask where you are, because youre tom hanks. And obviously well, if you stick a pin in anytown, u. S. A. Say, lakewood, ohio and you draw a sixinch circle around it, im somewhere outside that sixinch circle. Stephen okay, good, good. Lakewood, quality people there in lakewood, ohio. Home of the great lake shakespeare festival, h. M. Class of 1977. Stephen are you one of the people who, during quarantine, has been productive and has improved their life and learned things . Like, some people are getting very fit, like, my children have been exercising a lot. I have friends that have, like, worked on their music. I i get through, but im not improving myself. I cant say that i you know, i havent learned portuguese or anything like that. I havent i took a stab at some instapot recipes a while back, instant pot. You know, you do that for the third time and, honestly, the family is sick of you bragging about, you know, the stephen how tender the chicken is . They dont care they stopped they stopped caring. I took i took two weeks to test myself, im not going to have any bread, im not going to have any sugar, and im not going to have any alcohol for two weeks. And i made it and i felt great. So, does that count, giving up things . Stephen no. Like the worlds longest lint festiv lent festival. Not lint, lent festival. You know about lent, about giving up things. Stephen i do, i do, i do know about lent. Youve given up laughter. Youve given up laughter, steve. Stephen okay, weve got to take another break, but stick around, everybody. Well be righa little more mr. Tom hanks. Or a lot more. Well see. If youre ordering mcdonalds and your friend says they dont want fries. Get them the fries. Or else, your fries. Will be their fries. Ba da ba ba ba however you go back, weve got your back. However you go back, weve got your back. This. Watch. Tells. Time and takes phone calls. And communicates with satellites thousands of miles above the earth and tracks your distance underwater and tracks your activity and tells you which direction youre going and has an app that measures the electrical waves traveling through your heart otherwise known as an electrocardiogram. So just to reiterate this. Watch. Tells. Time among other things . Charmin ultra soft is so soft much are you hon . Youll have to remind your family they can use less. Charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Stephen hey, everydy. Or bei. I just want to lead with a few quick statements the things that my wife evie and i have been yelling at each other for the past week. Ready . You want to start with one . Right hard rudder. Stephen right hard runner laughs heading zeronineone, full spread oh, gosh. Stephen we yell that at each other constantly. Now, thats just a teaser for the audience, you see. They dont know why were yelling that at each other. I love that, i love that. Stephen now, lets explain to the people why were yelling that to each other all the time. Youve got a fantastic new movie called greyhound which i thought, originally, was about a bus. And i didnt care i thought, tom hanks, bus . Im in. But its even better continental trailways was taken. We couldnt use continental trailways, so we had to go with greyhound. Stephen tell the good people of america, and the world because this is an International Show what its about. Greyhound is about a captain of a navy captain of a destroyer escort that is shepherding 37 ships across the north atlantic at the height of world war ii, fighting off the weather, the night, nazi subs, horrible fatigue, decent coffee but no hot food. Its its 88 minutes of just trying to survive in the heaving north atlantic somewhere, just after the outbreak of world war ii. Stephen its fantastic. If you like tom hanks, if you Like Fighting nazis, how about tom hanks fighting nazis . Okay . Thats a winner. Im not fighting. Fighting nazis. Stephen no, youre actually fighting nazis youre tom hanks fighting nazis. I love the fact that you and the fabulous evie, that is just down stephen down there. Right, in that direction, sitting on an apple crate there, there she is are quoting some of the arcane and yet the, sort of like, percussive language of the movie, because when we delivered the final film, some of the executives wondered what some of those things meant, and if we couldnt explain them a little bit more. Stephen what i love is that it didnt matter. Didnt matter. When we said i dont know, the sonar guy said, too many screw noises, they said, can you say propellers instead of screw noises . Tough, because weve already shot it saying screws. And they said, is there any way that we could understand more of the danger that is at stake in your movie . You mean, like we say, you know, theres a nazi sub out there, skipper, and we think it might be trying to sink us with a torpedo. You want lines like that . Because well put them in if you absolutely need it. But they backed off and we were able to just to go with the you know, this is my favorite thing. Ill take this up and start ill using it in my real life stephen yeah. When i say, hard left rudder meter i love that, meter if you say meter, that means go back to where you were. Meter stephen oh, meter, nice. So, yelling that stuff. Oh, heres another good one, too pipe it. Thats a good one i like. Stephen that means tell everybody. I want to i want to i want to address the company. Yeah, exactly right. Stephen now, in the clip that we showed in your intro, before the interview started, the torpedo barely skimming by the destroyer that youre commanding it really looks like you guys were on a ship on the water. How much of this movie were you on an actual boat, tom hanks . We shot on board for about two weeks. Stephen oh, wow. On the u. S. S. Kidd, that is in the treacherous waters of the mississippi river, right next right next to one of the better showboat casinos in baton rouge, louisiana. Stephen you could have been boarded by riverboat gamblers laughter Bat Masterson could have come on board absolutely, they would have had their silvertop canes and their top hats and they would have studied our ship from taking daguerreotypes from the opposite shore. That ship is actually very well preserved, because its privately held, so it doesnt hae exit ramps and fire doors and things like that going on. But the rest of it was shot on a sound stage, on a very complicated set with everybody working really hard, in baton rouge. I dont want to you know, i dont want to blow it for you, but stephen not at all. But luke and r2d2 werent really on tattooine. Stephen tom, yet another break to pay the bills, but stick around. Well back with more tom hanks. Kapowwww a mobile plan that blows away those highpriced plans boost mobiles all new hrinkit plan the longer you stay, the less you pay. Watch your bill shrink to 35 month after just 6 ontime payments. 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You cant claim that because its inanimate people ask me what sort of a person should become a celebrity accountant. And, i tell them, nobody should. Hey, buddy. Whats the damage . I bought it the waterfall . Nope a new volkswagen. A volkswagen . I think were having a breakthrough here welcome to caesars palace. Thank you. Attorney general barr, do you have any comment on the stone commutation . No comment. You try to stay ahead of the mess but scrubbing still takes time. Now theres powerwash dish spray its the faster way to clean as you go just spray, wipe and rinse it cleans grease five times faster dawn powerwash. Spray, wipe, rinse. And your friend says they dont want fries. Get them the fries. Or else, your fries. Will be their fries. Ba da ba ba ba [orange] hey, whats up guys . [ginger] oh my god [captain] orange, why are you naked . [orange] oh god, is my camera on . [captain] ill never unsee this. [orange] okay hold on. Hows that . [miscellaneous reactions of disgust] [orange] floridas finest baby. [join tscore savings andetf dipdeals in store and online. E. Plus, help target support your community. Enjoy exclusives just for you, at no cost to you. Join target circle for free today. An extra 15 percent credit on car and motorcycle policies . Ok . Thats 15 percent on top of what geico could already save you. So what are you waiting for . Dj khaled to be your motivational coach . Yo devin remember to brush in a circle motion. Thank you. Dj. Khaled. Tiny circles, devin. Do another one. Another one. Is this good . Put in that work, devin. Dont give up. Geico. Save an extra 15 when you switch by october 7th. Stephen hey, everybody im Stephen Colbert. This is tom hanks. Tom. I got oh, do i have it . Wheres the photo . Right here. This. Here we go, here. What have we got . Oh, man. Stephen this is yeah, i got hightech. Came in over the fax machine . Stephen you want to know hightech . My i. F. B. Mic cord is caughtol. Hold on. That is i got it. There you go. Is that. This is careful with that. Careful with your own stool. Stephen theres you, and theres your son chet right there. Oh, yeah, thats right. Stephen was this the first project you guys had done together . He was hes been in a couple of other things that i did, in cameos. He delivered a pizza to Julia Roberts and called her a babe in a movie called larry brown. See, now, thats an interesting thing. We needed to communicate time in the shifting of watches, so we had a guy, great actor, who played our daytime sonar operator, and we were able to squeeze in chet. Hes a bona fide actor, so its not like you know, hes been on empire, and hes doing a new series with Bryan Cranston right now. Stephen i understand that. Was that fun, to do that with your son . It was incredible fun because he was just so good, and i actually got to have that dad like face with him, you know. Left to my own devices, i would have been looking at him like this, but because i had to play my character, i had to give him this kind of look. Stephen oh, good. Oh, yeah, yeah. Good work no, good work, yeah. So it was its one of the pleasures of having enough clout, to be being sort of the star of the movie, where you can ask for certain, you know, people to be in it. Stephen ive had a similar feeling because, for the last four months that we have been out of the ed sullivan theater, my family has been my crew, as you know, and for a lot of it, it was my boys over here, you know, doing the camera and the sound and the zoom calls and the lights. And it feels very 19thcentury. Its like, its like, you know, the children have come to papas workshop to help him cut the wood for the day. Every day is bring your family to work day, every single day. Stephen tom, it was lovely to see you, thank you so much. Always great. Thanks for putting up with me, stephen. Always a pleasure. And in all honesty, i wouldnt come on your new show and not hey, there she is look at that fantastic hello i would come on your show just to chat. I dont have to be constantly selling anything. Stephen of course, of course. But im glad you are this. I truly enjoyed it. And its called greyhound, america who else is on the show . Who else is on the show today . Stephen tonight . Only you, tonight. Oh oh doctor, doctor stephen only you. Yeah, you dont need to gussy up a hanks night. laughter its youve got to keep it lean, keep it lean. Just the facts. Just the facts. And the jokes. Thank you, though. Its great. Always great to see you. Stephen thanks again, tom. Greyhound is available now exclusively on apple tv . Mr. Tom hanks, everybody. Well be right back stephen now lets say good night with some music from jon batiste and stay human. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh q1 captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show oh, oh its the late late show james good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the late late show. I hope we find you well this