Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, dems debaits. Plus, stephen welcomes John Leguizamo comedian candice thompson. And a special appearance by ricky gervais. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hello beautiful. Lovely, beautiful. And the box. cheers and applause . Stephen this is awfully nice. Thank you very much. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen oh, thats nice. Thank you very much. Thank you, my friends. Happy friday. cheers and applause stephen thank you very much. Please, have a seat, everybody. Welcome, welcome, one and all to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause and it is friday. Happy friday, happy friday, everybody in here, out there, around the world. We are just days away from the second round of democratic president ial debates. Im going to tell you all about it. Were coming to you live both nights, okay. The candidates will make their case and right after the debates, i am giving myself 60 minutes for a response. Or as the candidates will say, my el responseo. And ive got all the hot debate pregame action in tonights doin it donkey style. Eliminate systemic racism stephen the race is still his to lose for former Vice President and guy in reverse mortgage ad telling you how retirement sneaks up on ya, joe biden. laughter papa joe took a bit of slapping around in the last debate, but hes still the frontrunner. And a recent poll showed that biden is the only democrat beating trump in the swing state of ohio. Of course, both of them are polling below the writein candidate, Cleveland Browns rule dawg pound all the way im very drunk cheers and applause woooo wooo biden has been pushing back on accusations that he relies too heavily on his friendship with president obama, saying, its not a crutch. You can ask president obama. I dont need any crutch. laughter you just did the thing you said youre not doing as biden obamas not my crutch. Here, well call him right now. Hes my emergency contact. Were gonna do matching halloween costumes. Im gonna be wolverine, and hes gonna be wolverines best friend, barack obama. Hello. laughter and bidens bringing that fighting spirit to next weeks debates. At a fundraiser this week, biden said, im not going to be as polite this time. Oh, and i am excited for the premiere of bad grandpa 2 biden his time. laughter pow, pow, pow joe a reporter asked what we can expect from the new, ruder joe, and he was coy. What did you mean when you said you werent going to be as polite in the next debate . Well see. laughter stephen well see . What impolite thing is he gonna do . as biden senator booker, if youre gonna stand there and attack my record, let me just say this pull my finger. laughter bidens already catching heat from new jersey senator cory booker, seen here soloing on the air accordion. Ok has ge aftedes record with the African American community, calling him the proud architect of a broken criminal justice system, which caused biden to hit back at bookers time as mayor of newark, saying, his Police Department was stopping and frisking people, mostly African American men. Joe, cory, dont fight. These debates should be about coming together for a higher cause ignoring bill de blasio. Theres also news cheers and applause theres also news about one of the democrats rising stars, south bend mayor and Rhodes Scholar who stores nuts in his cheeks for the winter, pete buttigieg. Buttigieg is getting attention for his travel habits after spending 300,000 on private jet travel this year, more than any other democrat running. But thats only because whenever mayor pete tries to fly commercial, they think hes an unaccompanied minor. laughter this is is someone picking you up . Is someone . Let me see your wrist band . You dont have it . Okay . This is an issue because, as a former press secretary for john mccain said, taking a private airplane can look very elitist. Though, personally, i dont think its elitist. And neither does my pilot. laughter mayor pete has spent far more on private jets than any other candidates. For example, Bernie Sanders only spent about 18,000 on private flights, and senator Kamala Harris dished out 17,000. While john delaney spent 3 to rent a citibike that he hasnt returned yet. laughter john . Its an honor system. Its an honor system, john. applause pull my finger. Speaking of john delaney, no one is. Laugh which is why his staff, earlier this month, sat down with him and told him to r. You know youre in trouble when your Campaign Staff holds an intervention. Dear congressman delaney, when you run for president , it makes me feel. Sad. laughter it hurt me when you polled at 0 , and my parents asked if my job was made up. laughter love, scott in digital. And there are some Early Warning signs oi out there. The campaigns just released expense reports, and we learned that john delaney spent 699 on cake. Gah everyone on my staff said i should drop out. And the icing on my cake says, quit. im still going to eat it. Gah but this delaney story isnt the saddest thing you will hear this week, because donald trump jr. Wrote a book. Yeah. Its going to be released in november, and its called triggered. From what little we know, the book of touch on don jr. s experience working on construction sites with his father. as don jr. i still remember those grueling days playing game boy in the limo while dad refused to pay the contractor. laughter applause yeah. I remember. This is true in the about the author section, it says don jr. , is an avid outdoorsman and when hes not on the campaign trail, he can be found on streams and in the mountains all over the world. Yes, legends say hes in the mountains all over the world. No ones been able to get a photograph so far, just imprint of his see the and broscat. This fall, well be searching for him in the new cbs hit show finding bigdouche. cheers and applause we got a hit we got a hit jon gotta look for the foot print stephen but don jr. Isnt even the most embarrassing person in trumps orbit. That title goes to commerce secretary and man who lives by the phrase, soup before beer, youre in the clear, wilbur ross. Ross has led the Commerce Department for more than two years, and in that time, insiders say the agency has reached an apex of dysfunction, which is also the name of wilbur rosss latest scream metal album. Part of the dysfunction stems from the fact that ross isnt around the office much, as he spends much of his time at the white house to try to retain trumps favor. Sucking up to trump is a fulltime job. as trump man, this talking walnut sure visits me a lot. laughter and even when ross is at work, hes not exactly present, because, according to Commerce Department insiders, ross is prone to falling asleep in meetings. Can you imagine the horror his staff must feel every time this happens . Oh, god. He definitely has to be dead this time, right . laughter get me a small hand mirror and a poking stick. Hes fine. Its misting up. But the Commerce Departments woes dont end with ross, because his absent leadership has created tension between old and new staffers, so much so that political appointees sometimes close doors right in front of career employees to keep them out of meetings, which must be demoralizing. But you know what they say when god closes a door, the slam cheers and applause John Leguizamo is here. But when we come back, i get up close and personal with ricky gervais. Hello . Flamin hot nacho . They made the original hot hot hot . Hello . Heres a shake up my hot flamins mixin with doritos why all these people in my face wanna be my ace wanna be my migo talkin bout how far back we go way way way way back i dont care about that i aint sharin my snacks i made this for you. Wonderful. Hello . Now its hot whoa. Travis in it made it. Its amazing. Oh is that traviss app . Its pretty cool, isnt it . Theres two of them. Theyre multiplying. No, guys, its me. See, im real. Im real he thinks hes real. Geico. 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Nothing beats getting the latest trends at 20 to 60 percent off Specialty Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Were here with ricky gervais. Its always great having you here. Its always a pleasure. Stephen i always enjoy talking with you. We have fairly long and fairly deep conversations, or at least about deep subjects even if we dont dive deeply into those subjects. Sure. Stephen we can only be honest up to a point with each because theres an audience and,ob, were entertainers and that influences the way we talk to each other, i have to imagine. Yeah. Stephen and i wonder if you would ever want to get to know each other in a private, you know, more personal more personal way. No laughter . Stephen okay. Great. Then join me now in the late shows personal space. cheers and applause . Stephen ricky. Thank you for thank you for so enthusiasticically agreeing to join me in my personal space. laughter i will see you in the box. Why the glasses coming off . Why are they coming off . Stephen they get knocked off by going through the entranceway. laughter . This is so weird. This is so weird. Thats so small. Okay, oh, this is so weird. laughter its too weird why are we doing this . Stephen come on, ricky. Okay, okay, that is this is really weird. Right, okay. Stephen is it weird . It is weird, yes. Stephen let me ask you my first question and thank you for joining me in personal space where we can just be honest with each other. We dont have to worry about entertaining the audience, just two guys look in my eyes. You have to look at me. I really feel uncomfortable. I really do. Stephen good thats the start of honesty. Im literally uncomfortable because of the stance im in and everything and its weird. Stephen but i bet look good. I bet your ass looks fantastic right now. cheers and applause . Stephen first question, and i want you just its personal space and there are no wrong answers, no wrong answers, okay. Youve been controversial in many of your performances. Yes. Stephen is there anything that you would like to apologize for . All the things im going to say in the future as well. laughter id like to approximation now for all the terrible things im going to say in the future. Stephen is there anyone you tried to offend but it didnt work . No, i dont try to offend. Stephen it just comes naturally. Yeah. People say to me, why do you go to so much trouble to annoy everyone . And i say, its no trouble. This is, like, some sort of weird perpetuity. Stephen would you be willing to rest your forehead against mine . Because i have found i have found i have done this a few times and what happens is your neck gets tired. So you can rest. You can rest like that. Thats good. Thats good. Why do you make it so why dont you have something i put my hands down. Stephen grab the column. I got them. These things up here. Its a corinthian column and you can grab these things at the top. This is so weird. Stephen we talked about this before. You had a band. What is the name of your band . I think the one youre talking about is the early 80, sean dancing. Stephen when was last time you listened to shawna danning . It must be been when someone posted it on twitter. Stephen would you like to listen to a little shawna dancing right now . Not really, but go on. Stephen is this the face you would make . laughter . All right. This oh right. This is laughter this is right. This this is worse than sex. laughter how long is this going on for . Stephen are you getting hungry . Are you getting hungry by any chance . Oh, for bleep sake. What do you mean. Stephen youre a vegetarian, right . Youre definitely a vegetarian. Have you ever had an impossible burger . No, whats that. Stephen its a vegetarian burger, its very delicious. Have you ever tried one . No. Stephen would you like to try one . Yes. Oh, no, no no laughter bleep . Stephen open your mouth. No n. Stephen open your mouth. No you cant listen, this is this honestly. laughter . I could i could right. Listen, i could bleep take you to a tribunal for this. Open your mouth open your mouth open your mouth its like honestly. Stephen i felt that just now. laughter one more, a little deeper. laughter oh stephen i apologize. That was too far. Im sorry. Oh, it stinks in here now as well, and thats not even real meat. laughter . Stephen your show is your show is bleep this is the worst thing ive ever done oh bleep stephen it does it is close quarters. It is close quarters for a meal right now. Yeah. Stephen its also quite hot. Yeah. What oh, god stephen is that better . Is that better . I dont need to do this . Stephen no, you dont. I dont need to do this stephen but you agreed to it. I did. Stephen what do you think you wouldnt do this with obama, would you . In a minute. If he would do ti would do it. I suppose i mean he wouldnt do it. Stephen i did it with tom hanks. Thats close enough. Stephen ricky i want to thank you for doing this. You pulled away from me, a long way. Youve pulled really far away from me. Okay there, you go. Stephen there you go. Okay. laughter ricky. What . Stephen ricky . Yeah. You just saying my name is creepy. Oh, bleep . Now theres a hand coming in. Whats that . Its like its like a really weird bleep drugs dream, isnt it. Stephen ricky, ricky. Welcome to black mirror. laughter ricky gervais, everybody well be right back hey, who are you . Oh, hey jeff, im a car thief. What . im here to steal your car because, well, thats my job. What . What . . What . laughing what . . What . what . [crash] what . haha, it happens. And if youve got cutrate Car Insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. So get allstate. And be better protected from mayhem. Like me. woman man have you smeno. D this litter . woman nobody has its unscented vo tidy cats free clean unscented. Powerful odor control with activated charcoal. Free of dyes. 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Going on now. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back to the show. Folks, you know my guest from bloodline, chef, and when they see us. Hes currently on a 15city tour with his solo play, latin history for morons. Please welcome back to the late show, John Leguizamo applause no matter where you are, you. John leguizamo, nice to see you again, john. Great to be here. Look at all the love. Its nice. Stephen it is nice. Welcome to the love shack love shack baby stephen how has your summer been . Its good, turning around. Stephen you only get so many summers in your life. Thats depressing. Stephen i like to start low and we get happier as we go along. I just turned 55. Stephen what if i was in logans run i would be gone. Stephen heres a happy summer news. Last week you were nominated for an emmy for raymond santina sr. In as they see us which is about the central park five. What is it like to work to be an actual a character, a real person from this harrowing story that in some ways still haunts us . Such a painful story. And i got a chance to hang out with the dad, Raymond Santana sr. And the son. Stephen just for the few people out there who may not know. There was a horrific attack in central park. 1988 1989. One kid got off because he wouldnt confess, wouldnt seen anything. And the rest who wanted to go home and were really young signed confessions and did videotapes, and they stephen later proven later proven innocent. Exonerated. Stephen exonerated. I asked his dad how people were asking me, how could you sign that confession . How could you let your son admit to crimes he didnt commit . The dad was a single dad. He had a 24hour gig he was afraid of losing. He knew his son was innocent. His kid oofs his son was 15 years old. He couldnt have raped this woman. He was be a woman in the park, and the d. N. A. Never matched or anything. And he just said, i knew my son was innocent. I knew he was innocent and he would be cleared in the light of day. But that doesnt work in the court of law. Stephen did you get to did you get to meet any of the other people the others. I met them all. And theyre so hopeful, man. You cant believe going through the criminal system for that long wrongfully ask theyre still positive, happy go lucky guys doing positive things in the world. applause Stephen Donald trump donald trump and this is included in the film. Yeah. Stephen he notoriously put out a fullpage 85,000, fullpage ad in the new york times, i believe asking for the Death Penalty to come back to execute these children. I mean, who does that . Who takes out spends their money wanting to execute children . You dont he didnt even k stephen they have since been exonerated and he wouldnt take it back. He doubled down, well, they must have done something. Stephen after having done and having met these people and getting this perspective on the president , how are you feeling about him these days . laughter he makes he so angry, he makes me horny. laughter applause . Stephen what that rage stephen im sorry, you gotta back up. Im not backed up. Im not backed up. Stephen i did not quite facility logic of that. laughter . You know when youve got all this rage in your body, and it turns into testosterone, and you gotta let it out somehow . Love trumps hate. Stephen love trumps hate . I procreate. Stephen you procreate. Thats your opposition to the president . Yeah, it helps me unplug my poor wife. But its going tos a im going to make a little army of latin people that will be, like, worst thing that he could ever have to deal with. applause . Stephen good luck. Good luck with that. Youre a new yorker. What do you make of our mayor bill de blasio running for president . laughter come oman. Its like do one office right before you take on another one. applause get this office, to be a mayor, and do the mayoring right. Ride a subway and try to get somewhere some day. Stephen would you recommend, perhaps, that he drop out and come back to the city and take care of us here . Yeah, there are too many people running for office anyway. Why dont you step off and fix this and well talk. Stephen who do you like, there are 20 i think i have this right there are 25 democrats running too many. Stephen who stands out to you . Who do you like . Hiewlian castro. I lot that cat. I had the him 10 years ago. He was what, 30. He was so brilliant, so smart, so composed. I want him to win. Plus hell make Stephen Miller so angry if he wins. Stephen right. Hes great, actually, he was sitting in that chair three days ago. I saw that. Stephen you could feel the greatness running up through your body over there. Wow i feel it. I feel good. Stephen youve got a oneman show that you started in 2017. Its called latin history for morons. Right, correct. Stephen now, we talked about thraft time you were on here. Youre taking it out on the road. What is the difference in sort of teaching this latin history for morons out in not new york or, you know, not a major metropolitan area. Its different. I did it at the apollo, and then did new brunswick, new jersey. And then i was in midland, michigan. Yeah, madison, wisconsin. And it was cheers . No way. Were you there . It was very quiet. It was a very different thing. I saw a lot of cornfields and go, what am i doing here . And the people showed up and, you know, they were very quiet, very polite. And, you know, grateful at the end thank you for coming out here. Thank you like, was there something wrong coming out here . Does nobody come out here. Stephen it has a point but this is also comedy, right . Oh, yeah, its a comedy. Theyre laughing their butts off, but the point is stephen what you dont want is respectful silence in comedy. No, no, unless youre performing in canada and you know theyre respectfully silent when youre doing comedy. Then its okay and acceptable but not in america. Stephen what do some things we morons im a moron about latin history. I dont know much about it latin people are the second oldest ethnic group in america after native americans. We are the only ethnic group to fight in every single war america has had. Were the most awarded minority. Im talking the american revolutions. 10,000 unknown latinos fought out of 80,000. Stephen where were they living . They were living in the south, southwest, virginia, cuban women in virginia sold their jewelry, hoop earrings, door knockers, gold teeth, to beat the patriots. In virginia, florida, all the towght. Thats right. Sometimes they were riding on the wrong side. In the civil war there were 20,000 of us who fought north and south. We go wherever they pay us. You know how we do that. Im sorry. Stephen what do you hope the audience takes away from your show ultimately . I want americans to know that we helped build your country, and that we deserve the same respect as every other american. And i want every latin person cheers and applause to walk out feeling that they belong and that this is their country ask no one can take that from them. Stephen well, john, wonderful to see you all. Thank you. Stephen latin history for morons is making its way around the u. S. Right now, and when they see us is currently streaming on netflix. John leguizamo, everybody well be right back. [text tone] [text tone] [text tone] nice mmmmmm so nice nice and lets make it work. Pens, grab those command strips they hold strong with a peel, stick, and press. And with that college life begins. I said, college life begins. Oh dear, lets take that down damage free. Stretch release and look no marks no mess, much more you. Command. Do. No harm. At their reddest, ripest, they make everything better. Like our strawberry poppyseed salad and new strawberry summer caprese salad. Strawberry season is here. Panera. Food as it should be. No wait ugh, sorry its ok [laughs out of breath] oh you got a fast one there just cant get him to slow down this class will help with that we get it. You got it were petsmart this is hals heart. Its been broken. And put back together. This is also hals heart. And this is hals relief, knowing hes covered. This is hals heart. And its beating better than ever. This is what medicare from Blue Cross Blue Shield does for hal. And with easy access to quality healthcare, imagine what we can do for you. Thiss th. Try dove go fresh. Something fresh . With the classic, crisp scent of cucumber green tea. 48 hour protection. And signature freshness. Now available in new deodorant wipes. Keep it fresh cheers and applause stephen hey, everything, welcomet ght is a standup comedian and host of the podcast the struggle. Please welcome, candice thompson, everybody cheers and applause oooo how is everybody . Good. Thats great. I am going through it a little bit. I recently got dumped, and my friend said something very silly to me. She was like, thats so weird. You dont look sad on your instagram. And i was like, yeah, thats not what social media is for, right. No ones posting their lowest moments on the gram. Nobody is doing that. Im not going to poavment me deep throating mozzarella sticks at the cafe yesterday. Thats reckless. Cte fm tubveyearso, liva appsa now. Messaging dudes on waze. You up . You stuck in traffic, boy . You need some company . Alexa, find me a man laughter i am learning the words people use on these dating apps have different meanings than the way we use in daily lives. Ive learned that entrepreneur means poor. applause i am very single, and im terrified of getting into a longterm, committed relationship, and thats mainly because i watched forensic files. And if you also watch forensic files then you also know that 90 of marriagessen in murder. And so im not trying to get stabbed for love, all right . Im not going to do it. I dont know if you guys know this, but crimes of passion happen very frequently, so frequently, that if you kill your spouse, you can go to court and the court will lead you plead insanity. Thats right. If you kill your spouse, the court will let you plead insanity. You know what that means . Thats the court saying, i get it. Right . Thats the court saying, weve all been there. Weve all been in love. Weve all been hurt, and we all wanted to hurt somebody, right . Thats all that is. I was watching a documentary not that long ago and in this documentary they were interviewing men who were all in prison for murdering their wives. And when they asked them why they did it, they all had the same response, and that smns was, i wanted to be with my mistress, but i didnt think my wife would leave me so i could leave her. And im looking at this thinking, you didnt think your wife would leave you . Well, maybe if you had told her you were going to kill her, like, did you did you present all the options . laughter what are you doing . You could have made a powerpoint presentation. You could have maybe made a pie chart showing her percentage of survival if she stayed. laughter maybe your wifes a visual learner. I dont know. I feel like you didnt try. Im so angry at so many things. Were not allowed to shame anymore. I misshame. You guys remember shame, that feeling you get when you mack a bad decision, right . Thats shame, and were not allowed to do it anymore. Heres the thing. You shouldnt shame somebody for the way they look or something they have no control over, thats not nice. But not all shame is bad. If it leads to a productive end shame is the reason i took a shower today. Do you see what im saying . Not all shame is bad. That you would have have been ashamed to tell somebody you watched 13 hours of television. You have to think back because that was so long ago. Now, not only are we not ashamed of it, were bragging about tbragging about all the television weve been watching, making other people feel badly if they havent watched the same amount of television. What you mean you havent watched game of thrones. I watched all seasons yesterday yesterday . Thats 92 weeks of programming. How did you do that . Thats not mathematically possible. I dont know, i peed in the book case you gave me. What is happening with all the antishaming is key created a society of blind acceptance. Were just accepting everybodys behavior just to spare somebodys feelings, and thats not healthy, either. Cant you love me with all my flaws . No laughter no no no. Pick up a book. Go to therapy. Find out why i cry every time you hear i want it that at a w. Thank you so much. Stephen you can see her at the comedy store in Los Angeles Stephen you can see her at the comedy store in los angeles tomorrow night. Candice thompson, everybody where certain fungal infections are common and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Woman 6 ask your rheumatologist about humira. Woman 7 go to mypsaproof. Com to see proof in action. Woman 7 go to mypsaproof. Com mmm, exactly ug Liberty Mutual customizes your Car Insurance, so you only pay for what you need. Nice but uh, whats up with your partner . Oh we just spend all day telling everyone how we customize Car Insurance because no two people are alike, so. Limu gets a little confused when he sees another bird that looks exactly like him. Ya. Hell figure it out. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Look its a beluga whale. Hmm. I dont know. Thats it. Suit up haha watch the fur ahhh. What do you see in your cheetos . Wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. [ soft piano music playing ] mm, uh, what do you do for fun . Not this. Oh, what am i into . Mostly progressives name your price tool. Helps people find Coverage Options based on their budget. Flo has it, i want it, its a whole thing, and shes right there. Yeah, shes my ride. This dates lame. He has pics of you on his phone. Theyre very tasteful. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody, to the late show. Folks, you may not know this, but i have a number of preshow rituals here at the late show, and the home audience never gets to see. Lets just say, i go through a ton of goats. Also, before each and every taping i come out here and take a few audience questions. We recorded a few. Take a look. applause stephen are there any questions i could answer before i get going . Yes, young lady. Stephen do this oslender as a willow wand, oh, clearer than clear water, oh, read by the living pool, fair river daughter. Oh, springtime and summertime and spring again after. A wind on the waterfall and the leaves laughter. applause stephen you just got married yes. Stephen when a man and a woman love each other very much i know what the question is they share a special hug what was your question. I want to know if you had any marriage advice. Stephen do not hesitate to say, im sorry. Because you dont lose anything you cant why are you looking at him . See, see, i told you, i told you, you should say. Now say sorry to her right now. It works beautifully. Ive been married 25 years. Dont be afraid to say, youre sorry, because you dont lose. Stephen do i have a favorite souvenir from the last show . Yeah, captain america shield right there. applause i got a letter from mashle with the shield in a big box and a letter. And the letter said that they read caps will, and in the will he said that the only one patriotic enough to wield the shield was my old character Stephen Colbert. I showed it to my wife and had her read the letter, and she knows nothing about comic books or super heroes or anything like that. She read it and looked up with tears in her eyes and said, i have no idea what any of this means, but im so proud of you. Stephen is your opinion on chicago pizza the same as jon stewarts . Well, i know that jon stewart thinks that chicago pizza is for animals. My opinion on chicago pizza is this, is that i lived in chicago for 11 years. And love chicago pizza. And wh l about chicago pizza and i like a nice thin crust. Im not saying one is better than the other. What i do i will say this about chicago pizza it is almost entirely but not completely not pizza. It is a butter crust baby pool filled with cheese sauce. laughter that you really need a snorkel to really appreciate. And i love it. But its really its almost like youth neighborria to have a chicago pizza because it will put you down like a terrier with hip dysplasia. It is narc leaptic inducing. Do you like chicago pizza . Im from new york. Ive never had a chicago pizza. Stephen yes, maam, in the white sweater. Thats you. Or gray. Steph wh did we first meet . Thats right, exactly. The colbert report. Jon was a guest on the show. I didnt know much about jon. My booker said, youre going to love this guy. And you came on and i went to interview you, and i had some cards in my hand, and you were talking about improvisation in jazz and you said. Jon i like to improvise, but you like to read those cards, i see. Stephen and i spent the first 10 years of my career as an improvisor at second city and i threw the cards away and got up real close, we got face to face, and i said, lets talk. And i threw your album away too. After the whole thing was over, especially after they played and tore the roof off the place, i thought i could spend a lot of time with that guy. It was kismet. It was a very happy accident. Thank you, i thank all of you all. Thank you. applause laughter . Stephen ill give you a hint. He has the Nuclear Launch codes. cheers and applause stephen well be right back. The next american chinese original is here. New sichuan hot chicken. For a heart breaking limited time only at panda express. Stephen thats it for the late show. Join us next week for our live shows following the next two democratic debates. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the gloves tonight dont you worry bout that second piece of bread itll be all right its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from rancho cucamonga,uc