That was the one that was the one, that was the one this ones from torlumis9 she said, expelled my kid from home school. Well, i think thats pretty common right now thats a good one. This is from moonanawbit1. She said, very close to befriending a volleyball my quarantine in six words this ones from mike t. Barrett. Says funyuns for dinner okay, breakfast too. Oh, this ones from gumgummerson. We love gumgummerson. Always sends us things thank you, gum. gumgummerson says, toilet paper is our god now. [ laughter ] i should say thank you to our, my camera operator my wife nancy. Thank you, nancy for being there and not laughing youre welcome. Jimmy not one joke, here we go that was the one, that was the one this ones from ryan labarge it says, is seven hot pockets too many the answer is no seven hot pockets is not too many this is from susan pickover. This says, this ends in divorce or murder come on now. Come on, now thats very funny. This ones from elcaptainsaucy. Oh, this is great. It says, is upstairs neighbor a tap dancer [ laughter ] we had a neighbor upstairs in brooklyn that would chop pills heres our last one here for hashtags it says, theres not enough wine for this. How true thats our hashtags, everybody [ cheers and applause thank you very much for sending them in. If yoamerica like a bird and that was all you knew, would you really understand it with just that point of view . Weve got a different way to look at it, from right here on the ground. We dont just see United States we see united towns. Were grateful for what you bring, and all the sparks youve shown, in the thousands of towns that we get to call home. The census counts us all. And an accurate count helps inform where billions go every year. So, dont miss your chance to be counted. Shape your future. Start here at 2020census. Gov. Shape your future. Gotcha. Youre going down. Introducing the allnew sonata with remote Smart Parking assist. Have a good day. And hyundai digital key. A better way to stay one step ahead. Burrito. Raw kitfo fried shiso. Pork chop. Soda pop. Soursop. Hot pot. Scallop. Kebab. inhale brussels sprout. Sauerkraut. Freshcaught trout. Alfalfa sprout. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. You just gotta see the lighter side of things. Crush meee robots . [yells] i feel great little sore. Im cold. I wrote this a long time ago. I dont know how old i was. I hope someday i will be on a real football team. Im katie sowers, offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers. Im not just here to be the token female, im here to help us win. The surface pro helps me get whats in my head and get it out on to the field. I would want to tell this little girl to keep pushing herself, your dreams coming. Dramatic choir music dramatic choir music its the rush of relaxation. Introducing the allnew lincoln corsair. [ applause ] jimmy guys, i had the pleasure of talking to the great Jennifer Garner. Shes an awesome actor and her and her fellow actor teamed up. Amy adams, teamed up and they did some amazing stuff so lets talk to jennifer right now. Jimmy Jennifer Garner, youre awesome thank you for being a guest on our show i just want to start off by saying i hope youre safe and everythings okay as far as these things are concerned i know its crazy times, but you were the first person to call to action after this, you know, we selfquarantined, i think seven days ago mmhm jimmy and over the weekend im trying to think of what am i going do how can i do something to help everybody . And i got a message from you and amy adams. How did you get hooked up with amy, and explain really what the charity is, because i loved it well, youre the coolest. Youre the first to jump on. You and reese and, you know, if reese is on something its like oh, forget it, its a movement, know what i mean jimmy yeah, exactly. But having you made all the difference so amy called me friday night, and she said i want to do something to help feed kids who are stranded with school closures. Because you know between 25 and 30 million kids in the United States rely on school for food and free and reduced lunches, breakfast, backpack programs i was just in a school in kentucky a couple weeks ago with save the children where they opened their lunch at the end of the school day and kids take home cartons of food. So whats happening with those families as well as kids in urban settings and i said, okay, i actually if you really want to do this, i can, lets do it. I mean lets do it but its its been kind of nonstop since then and really great. Its great to have a purpose right now. Jimmy its a lot of work though i mean, to pull Something Like this off and you really did a great job i tell everyone the website is savethechildren. Org savewithsto. Yes jimmy and well put a chyron up there, so its savethechildren. Org savewithsto. And you have a bunch of friends and people helping out, reading books to kids. People id never met before our community is just so generous and so just how can i help what can i do . And we are getting rights to books. So thank you for loaning us yours. Jimmy i would read other ones, too. Let me know, im down. Oh, my gosh, really please jimmy without a doubt. Would you Read Everything is mama i love that book so much jimmy two seconds, i will do it right now. I cannot wait to do that great okay good. Jimmy i would love to do that how are your kids how are your kids dealing with everything thank you i think i have the perfectaged kids for this. Because theyre big enough to understand and to have the conversations, like, were built for challenge. We can do this were a tough team lets learn about a vacuum cleaner. [ laughter ] but theyre not so big that theyre just like, well, i dont care im gonna go you know, the hard thing are teens and early 20s. People and my parents my parents are the hard ones jimmy yeah im like, dad, mom, the world is shut down to keep you guys safe. And theyre like, we think were going to go to sams warehouse. Im like, oh my gosh [ laughter ] jimmy stay here stay home mom, you have to stay home. Jimmy god, you got to get amazon accounts. And theyll send you stuff everyones been going to amazon all of a sudden we have to stay in and Everyone Wants to go out and buy stuff. Im like i know. Jimmy its just kind of wild this, you know, if you watch the news and all this stuff its kind of, you know, its a a downer sometimes and, you know, i know its a a serious thing. But when you get to just kind of turn the tv off and just hang out with your family and do something or just appreciate where you are and that youre all together, its kind of something, something cool about that its, i mean, i have food i have shelter i have my kids have Online School, so they are engaged in different ways weve been doing like a family skype with my sisters and parents at night or zoom so i have nothing to complain about or worry about and so its actually been totally fine for me. We have a job to do. Were doing it were staying home were flattening that curve. Jimmy i follow you on instagram and all your socials and i do love following you. I love your cooking shows that you do what what made you want to do that . Are you just a chef . No, im not a im so far from a chef. But i learned to cook by watching people cook ive always been a huge ina garten fan barefoot contessa. And before that, Martha Stewart and i still love Martha Stewart but i love, you know, im just a food a cooking show junkie, so i just want to jimmy my grandma used to read me she would just give me, like, a cookbook when i was a kid. And i use to just spend hours just looking at the pages and just staring and i would go over and hang out with my grandma all the time and just look at a cookbook and even if i didnt cook it, im like, that looks good. Yeah i would totally look at the recipes. So i always kind of liked it, i think from my grandmother. Yeah, i do too, i always have a cookbook by my bed at night. Its like what i what i read to fall asleep [ laughter ] yesterday we had, my kids wanted hamburger buns. And we had turkey meat, they wanted hamburger turkeyburgers, whatever. And so i just looked it up and made them. And they were happy, and i felt, like, woo jimmy you made hamburger buns its not that hard. Its just a roll jimmy really you could do it jimmy oh, my gosh. I mean you guys could do it jimmy all right, im gonna do it and ill get back to you and ill find you and ill do them okay. Jimmy the other thing i wanted to say is the jenlookatme jenlookatme. Jimmy yeah, theres a whole thing going on jenlookatme how did you come up with that . And how did you are you happy with what you saw . Oh, i mean, cause you really think about it and who is this who is this impacting . Whos having to give up the most to stay inside . And its performers. And its kids who dont understand, who are stuck at home, who should be, whove worked really hard but maybe think about when we drop out at the olympics and those athletes, its just like, well too bad but for kids who are about to do frozen or who are about to do i dont know its a big, its a really big deal and High School Seniors and theyre just College Seniors who just, the rest of their senior year is canceled. So any way we can lighten things for them. And its so fun for me to watch at the end of the day. Its really fun. Jimmy i thought maybe we could end this interview by doing a little thing from jen look at me you used to play in high school, right . Oh, my gosh yes. Jimmy theres got to be something is there something lying around the house what did you play, again, was it is there a horn . [ laughter ] do you mean sally the sexy saxophone, you flat alto from 5th grade . Jimmy wow, calling it out what do you what do you this is going to be so fun what do you think we could play because i have my guitar first of all, i can not believe you had lin manuel yesterday do dear singing dear theodoja, by the way. I mean, come on. Jimmy isnt he unbelievable right . Hes amazing you are unbelievable. Jimmy but this is going to be fun i dont think anyones really seen Jennifer Garner play the saxophone. And this is going to be super exciting i played on the donnie marie show 20plus years ago. But i dont know jimmy did you really thats fantastic i love donnie marie love donnie marie theyre all right, you ready jimmy wait hold on wait hold on, im getting an intruder, yes . Daddy, how do i change my character . Jimmy you got to give me five minutes, okay, bud . Then ill be right in there. Okay all right, wait well do it. They all wanted to come in, and i was like, dont you have Online School . Jimmy exactly, just like go how about should we do happy birthday can you do that . Or no . A handwashing song jimmy yes. A hand we should do a a handwashing song. I think im going to let you solo on this i mean, no. Jimmy ill do percussion ill do percussion will you sing will you sing . Jimmy yes, for you, i will do anything. Yes, of course a one, a two. A one, two, three jimmy wait do i sing the lyrics to happy birthday you can sing whatever you want jimmy okay ill try ill switch it up a little bit here we go yeah, switch it up. I cant sing and play at the same time. Jimmy thats the next episode. Okay. Jimmy here we go wash your hands happy birthday wash your hand wash your hands wash your hands wash your hand and dont touc your face jimmy yes come on. Yay jimmy the greatest Jennifer Garner, you are awesome. Guys, go to the website, savethechildren. Org savewithsto. Theres another thing you can do whats the other thing you can do okay, you can also text the word save to 20222 for a a onetime 10 donation. Jimmy come on. How easy is that do it right now guys get your phones out. Phones are probably already out. Just do it guys. Text save, lets do it youre the best jimmy youre the best, buddy, ill talk to you soon i love everything youre doing. Ill talk to you soon. Thank you so much. Jimmy thanks, buddy. The corner of my eye. Just a blur when they jumped the median. There was nothing i could do. daughter daddy dad vo shes safe because of our first outback. And our new ones even safer. Thats why well always drive a subaru. avo welcome to the allnew 2020 subaru outback. The safest outback ever. Go where love takes you. For ralphies appointment. Whos his groomer . Carrie. Full groom for sure what . I just booked ralphies appointment online. That work . Wait you what . Its that easy download the app or book online at petsmart. Com its so cheesy, youll need a pick up line to go with it. Like, did it hurt. When all that cheese fell from heaven and landed on you . Its not delivery. Its digiorno. Now with more cheese. And holographicmapping drones. Impressive. There is one more thing. Ah. Jake from state farm. Heres the dealwith the drive safe and save app youll also get rewarded for being a safe driver. Now that is an upgrade. Well played, jake from state farm. As usual. When you want the real deal like a Good Neighbor state farm is there. When you want the real deal this smoothie has over 3 times v8 onlyas much. Ams of sugar. So maybe we should call this smoothie, sweetie. V8 the original Plant Powered drink. Veg up. Musi ladies and gentlemen shadow featuring de la soul get ready, yall get ready ready set jump to the rhythm as hard as you can go keep it steady steady, to the letter, right . Turn it up, we giving a show hey hey hey, whatd i miss . Ready, set steady, bet new colgate optic white renewal removes ten years of yellow stains. Thats like all the way back to 2010. Do the dougie remove ten years of yellow stains with new colgate optic white renewal. Jimmy hey, guys, i bought a tent for my daughters to play in the yard with someone on twitter told me that was a fun thing their kids did so im not i dont camp. Im not a camper ive read magazines. They look like it looks like fun. And i really did my research and got a pretty tent, i think, and it arrived today from amazon and so lets go lets watch me pitch a tent. Okay, im about to attempt to put together a tent. I went to a lot of tent websites tent blogs, tent talks and i found, i think i found the right one, which is the coleman elite with i dont know if thats the name of it. Im not a camper at all. Im from i was born in brooklyn, new york my parents are from brooklyn they dont know how to camp. They would never go outside at nighttime. But im going to try to put this up for my kids. I think i got too big of a a tent its like this is like 100 pounds so im imagining myself if i was camping what i would have with me, and thats a knife. Look at this knife its unbelievable, right thats a yeah, its a scary knife. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no even though the box says do not cut. How else am i going to open this thing please oh, i did cut into something 20minute setup . Thats nothing i can do that. Fits that. I mean, i have a family of four, but i figure we can make room look at how hes all exhausted, that kid dads like 20 minutes wish me luck find the zipper on this. Youre kidding me. Another box . I got to cut this one open, too. 20 minutes, what do you thats another bag this is like a little bag. Probably for people to hold beer when theyre putting this together this is 20 minutes 20 minutes can i do this in 20 minutes . All right, lets start the clock now. Here we go three bags, kind of, four bags very possible. I can do this. Very possible. All right, so i saw the instructions here but also in back i was looking how to do it, and its in spanish. And so i feel like thats a problem. Im going to have to call lin back but then i saw theres one in english. Here we go all right, layout of tent looks pretty good. And now im going to stake, put stakes in the position of where i want this to go. But i dont have a hammer, so im going to use the end of the knife. I should hammer it gosh i have a hammer here i got this for my wife years ago. Shes very crafty, but i forget who makes it but it says hard core hammers on top. I dont think thats where i went in fact, dont google hard core hammering. Okay, so i got all the stakes into the ground. And i didnt even have to use the hammer i just used my hands but i will use that knife for some good steaks [ laughter ] for over at the chop house id like a steak, please. Ill have it medium, because its very rare when its well done here. Oh, my gosh. Rare when its well done oh, god. What do you guys think good posish . Great posish. Jimmy what do you think . You excited . Can i open this box up . Jimmy sure all right, so ive been here for probably an hour and a half now. And thats what i have so far. What i did wrong okay but gonna keep trying i think i did it thats as good as im going to get. Im out of breath. Im out of breath doing that i got to clean all that up all right, back to you and i dont even know if this is usable. I think its going to rain once, and thats end of this thing. Thank you again. Please check out the website, savethechildren. Org savewith stories. If youre on the youtube account, please hit the donate button. Right there and itll be great itll change a lot of peoples lives. I want to thank you so much again for watching thank you to Jennifer Garner, for being my guest thank you to my tent which will probably fall down and blow in the wind and thank you to franny for doing the logo for my show and also for playing a little musical accompaniment. Guys, wash your hands, dont touch your face. Stay safe. Goodbye, everybody whoa yeah [ laughter ] jimmy thursday nights on nbc, is Brooklyn Ninenine time so if anyone wants you to make plans on thursday night say, no, thats my Brooklyn Ninenine time. Brooklyn Ninenine time. Jimmy its very say its Brooklyn Ninenine time. Brooklyn Ninenine time. Jimmy you know, so thats thursday night wait, is that a thing now dude, i think we just jimmy were living in a thing right now. Dude, were living in a thing right now. Oh my god well all be like, remember when that started . Jimmy i mean, we were all there. You were sitting in the chair. And i was sitting behind a a desk. [ laughter ] thank you. This thursday is Brooklyn Ninenine time. Yeah. Jimmy and whats happening this season . And it got picked up for another season were already were already [ cheers and applause jimmy thats a good investment its crazy. Jimmy but its really i heard the plot for this season is very funny. Thank you jimmy yes. I think so. The writers are great. Jimmy no, they are they really great. But basically yeah. Last season ends with Andre Braughers character captain holt getting demoted jimmy so now youre his were all yeah, were all his bosses now and hes having trouble adjusting. Jimmy and that would never happen in real life, would it . I dont think so. Jimmy no but it makes for some good comedy theres a lot of stuff on a a show about cops in our show that doesnt happen in real life jimmy cause its fake its a Television Show its super fake [ laughter ] jimmy its a comedy show yeah. Jimmy is there dream guest stars you want on the show cause youve had everybody on ive seen bill hader on there was funny. Oh, yeah. Jimmy mayas been very funny. Sandler, adam sandler was on your show. Sandman was on there. Jimmy yeah yeah. Jimmy who is there any dream guests for us theres one. My character is obsessed with die hard. So weve long said getting bruce willie would be a huge thing. But yeah. [ cheers and applause Jimmy Bruce Willis watches our show does he watch it . Jimmy he watches our show all the time i mean, ive appealed many times for this i think maybe hes waiting for the end to surprise us and shock the world or he hates me [ laughter ] jimmy no, no, no hes the coolest guy i love him. Jimmy bruce, trust andy. Anything he does is great. He really does you got to see high kickin. Truly jimmy thats what we should send to bruce willis truly jimmy well send him high kickin and well send him high kickin that will get it done jimmy high kickin and bear meat. [ laughter ] high kickin and bear meat do it, bruce. [ laughter ] jimmy oh my god. Jorma says to do it, too bruce, this wont happen to you if you agree to do this. Sitting in the dark is so much more depressing [ laughter ] jimmy still eating raw meat not even lit. I would do it if i were jim jimmy if i were jim. He said, i would do it if i were him. Yeah. Thats what he said thanks, jorm. Jimmy i want to show a a clip heres andy samberg in the new season premiere of Brooklyn Ninenine. Take a look. [ cheers and applause okay, doyle, its time for the man hunter to hunt man ooh here he comes watch out ma hell hunt you down ooh here he comes jakes a man hunter charles, i love that. Keep doing the song while i work the scene you got it. Okay, the bullet lodge is four feet below the hole of the backdrop indicating a trajectory of about 15 degrees which means the shot was taken from either the second or third floor of one of the buildings across the plaza ooh here he comes that buildings windows dont open watch out man hell hunt you down that ones obscured by trees ooh here he comes which means the shooter must have been located on the sky bridge jakes a man hunter officer holt, i thought i stationed you not here [ laughter ] jimmy andy samberg [ cheers and applause catch him on a new Brooklyn Ninenine this thursday at 8 00 p. M its Brooklyn Ninenine time on nbc more tonight show after the break. Stick around [ cheers and applause weve all been here before. The conference room. The speaker phone. The missing files. Not in the room . Then youre not in the know. Well, this has been nice, but can we not . Microsoft teams invites everyone you work with to work together. Be seen, be heard, be there when youre not. 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Over 75 years of savings and service. Geico. Its more than just fast. It keeps all your devices running smoothly. With builtin security that protects your kids. No matter what theyre up to. It protects your info. And gives you 24 7 peace of mind. That if its connected, its protected. Even that that petcamera thingy. [ whines ] can your internet do that . Xfinity xfi can because its. Simple, easy, awesome. [ barking ] [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back to the show thank you. Guys, the bafta awards were held last night. And one of the winners, again, was a good friend of our show, brad pitt. He starred in once upon a time in hollywood. I know, yeah [ cheers and applause and his acceptance speech was super funny. And it was very funny at the Golden Globes as well. Hes always been a funny guy it shouldnt surprise anyone heres something that brad and i did earlier this year. I wanted to show you guys. Check it out jimmy oh im sorry, i didnt order that courtesy of the gentleman at the bar. [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] courtesy of the gentleman at the table. [ light laughter ] a scorpion bowl with a steak, medium rare. Courtesy of the gentleman at the bar. [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] seafood tower, courtesy of the gentleman at the table a pyramid of ferrero rocher, courtesy of the gentleman at the bar. [ cheers ] edible arrangement [ laughter ] pancakes 30 hot dogs. Whole coconut with minihammer [ laughter ] a bucket of tatar tots [ laughter ] hardees sub red m ms astronaut ice cream. Calcium chews. Toothpaste with orange juice teeth. Hibachi shrimp threetiered wedding cake. I ordered im sorry, sir. The kitchen is completely out of food. Well, i guess its the check then [ laughter ] courtesy of the gentleman at the window [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause jimmy we love that guy congrats on the win, brad. We love you. 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Usaa [ cheers and applause jimmy our next guest is a talented actress who stars in the highlyanticipated new film, birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn which is in theaters this friday please welcome, Mary Elizabeth winstead. [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you so much for being here thank you jimmy welcome to the show. Thank you for having me jimmy i havent seen you in a long time. In a long time. You remember that . Jimmy yeah, i mean it was we were in a movie together yes jimmy called factory girl. Factory girl. But i was in one scene so i wouldnt blame you if you didnt remember. Jimmy well, i dyed my hair for it i know yeah. Jimmy you brought a photo, unfortunately. I did jimmy oh, my gosh. It was a good look. Look at this [ laughter ] the two of us. Jimmy thats all right come on, two blondies. Yeah two blondies. Jimmy what do you i do remember, yeah yeah. Jimmy of course i remember you. It was a great look. It was great. Jimmy it was a fun movie, right . Yeah, it was fun. I was young. I was sort of i had been acting a while but it was kind of a big deal for me i was coming into this movie where theres all these with big actors, guy pearce, you and sienna miller. I remember being flown in for my scene and we all go hang out in guys trailer. And were going over the scene and you kept going, like you just kept telling me how great i was. You just kept going, oh my god. Oh my god. Youre so good youre so good and i was like jimmy yeah you were so nice that i thought you were making fun of me jimmy oh, really [ laughter ] i kept looking around going like, is this a prank why is he being so nice to me . Jimmy yeah and then, when i saw you on the tonight show, i realized thats just your personality youre just the nicest jimmy yeah [ laughter ] person that ever lived. Jimmy i was rooting for you. You really were great. Yeah, but i but you were so lovely. I couldnt believe it. I couldnt believe that you were such a nice person. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, yeah absolutely well, i am yeah [ laughter ] im so happy youre here because i have been wanting i wanted to tell you because i do remember meeting you. And then i think it was 10 cloverfield lane . Yeah. Jimmy you crushed that movie. Awe, thank you. Jimmy that was all you, man. It was fantastic oh, thank you jimmy you were so great in that see, nicest person in the world. Jimmy well, yeah thats right. [ light laughter ] but i did mean that. I read somewhere that you grew up in Oakwood Apartments yeah, a lot of my adolescence was spent there. Yeah, yeah jimmy this is these this apartment i dont know what you call it, where all basically a lot of kid actors live yeah. Jimmy and, kind of, go on auditions and stuff. Yeah, they come up for pilot season and that kind of thing, yeah jimmy so, did you meet a a bunch of your friends there and thats i was kind of a loner but there were a lot of kids who come out there there was a little bit of competition. Like youve meet up at the pool and it would be like, what auditions are you going on or you know, whos your agent. And i was always a bit freaked out. And occasionally you would see people like hilary duff or Frankie Muniz just hanging out and jimmy wow. They were the cool kids and i was always like, oh, god. Jimmy really this is scary. Jimmy but did it help you with your did you did they do agents come by there or acting teachers or yeah, yeah. On the weekends, they would have casting you know there would be workshops, like a a casting workshop or an acting workshop and jimmy wow. Wed have sunday brunch where theyd give you free muffins and you can network. And it was always a bit its a bit weird. Its a bit surreal jimmy wow, but its clearly worked look at you now. Well jimmy i mean, come on. Youre doing fantastic [ cheers and applause birds of everyones talking about this i cannot wait. This is like birds of prey is out this friday it is awesome. Margot robbie does harley quinn but explain what this film is about. So its sort of the film is kind of through the eyes of harley quinn so we saw her in suicide squad. And now she kind of gets her own shes emancipated from the joker in this film so shes on her own. And she meets the birds of prey, who are these female antiheroes from the comic books, who are these really cool, badass, mysterious characters jimmy i mean, you really are. I mean, do you how do you know how to do this type of stuff like youre some great action fight scenes are crazy. The action is insane. Yeah, a lot of training. Jimmy you fight someone while going down a slide yes [ laughter ] its the best thing. Jimmy how do you even practice that . I mean, what it was insane it was quite difficult to shoot. Because the camera guy had to be going down with us. So wed get shot out at the end of the slide after every take, literally fly out of it. Jimmy and land on the camera guy landed in jimmy and go, hey, guys. Yeah, yeah. It was dangerous but it was exhilarating. It was fun jimmy really yeah. Jimmy i love that you just went for it and just like, yeah, this is perfect. Its great. Jimmy whats the name of your character again i play the huntress jimmy yes, come on i mean, how cool is that so cool jimmy to be in a big dc a big comic book movie its exciting, yeah jimmy are you gonna are you going to comiccon and all this stuff we did. We did a brazil comiccon, which was crazy. The brazilian fans were so enthusiastic jimmy its next level of fans, right . Yeah. Oh, ive never experienced [ cheers ] never experienced anything like it jimmy yeah, yeah its really cool, right . Yeah, and for the rest of your life yeah. Jimmy yeah, kids will be dressing up as you i love it i hope so. Jimmy its pretty fun, yeah i want to show everyone a clip heres Mary Elizabeth winstead, in birds of prey. Take a look. This will be fun. Its just like a sleepover we can order pizza hey, cosmo. Harley okay, yeah. Hey, nice what the hell is up with this bow and arrow . [ bleep ] its not a freaking bow and arrow its a crossbow. Im not 12 [ laughter ] i love this chick shes got rage issues. I dont have rage issues you know, psychotically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the stars that we hoped for. Yeah. [ cheers and applause jimmy i said it i said it years ago, ill say it again, you are unbelievable. You are so great Mary Elizabeth winstead. [ cheers and applause she really is. Birds of prey in theaters this friday. Well be right back with a a performance from finneas stick around [ cheers and applause tv just keeps getting better. How you watch it does too. This is xfinity x1. Featuring the Emmy Awardwinning voice remote. Streaming Services Without changing passwords and input. Live sports with realtime stats and scores. Access to the most 4k content. And your movies and shows to go. The best tv experience is the best tv value. Xfinity x1. Simple. Easy. Awesome. Xfinity. The future of awesome. [ cheers and applause jimmy performing lets fall in love for the night from his ep blood harmony, give it up for finneas [ cheers and applause lets fall in lov for the nigh and forget in the morning play me a son that you lik you can bet ill kno every line cause im the boy that your boy hoped tha you would avoid dont waste your eyes on jealous guy stop that noise i know better than to call you mine you need a pick me up [ cheers and applause ill be there in twenty five i like to push my luck so take my hand lets take a drive cause ive been living in the futur hoping i might see you sooner i want you riding shotgun i knew when got one right lets fall in lov for the nigh lets fall in lov for the nigh and forget in the morning play me a son that you lik you can bet ill kno every line cause im the boy that your boy hoped tha you would avoid dont waste your eyes on jealous guy stop that noise i know better than to call you mine i love it when sh talk that nerd were in our twentie talking thirties were making mone but were saving i cause talking is chea and we talk a lot of it you wont sta with me i know but you can have your wa with me till you go and if all your kisse turn into bruise im a warning lets fall in lov for the nigh and forget in the morning play me a son that you lik you can bet ill kno every line oh cause im the boy that your boy hoped tha you would avoid dont waste your eyes on jealous guy stop that noise cause i know bette i know bette i know better than to ever ever ever call you mine [ cheers and applause jimmy come on. Thats how you do it oh my gosh finneas. [ cheers and applause absolutely a standing ovation i agree. [ cheers and applause blood harmony is the album thats out now my thanks to andy samberg, Mary Elizabeth winstead, finneas, once again. [ cheers and applause and the roots over there from philadelphia, pennsylvaniaay tu seth meyers. Thank you for watching have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow byebye. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight representative alexandria ocasiocortez chat and music from james taylor [ cheers and applause featuring the 8g band with glen sobel [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause that is great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news senator Elizabeth Warren announced today shes dropping out of the president ial race warren was an incredibly competent, pragmatic, intelligent, and wellspoken in other words, she never had a chance [ laughter ] thats right, Elizabeth Warren is dropping out of the president ial race. And it kind of feels like when your favorite teacher retires. Youre sad to see her go, but also happy for her because she doesnt have to deal with your annoying classmates anymore. [ laughter ] republican congressman matt gaetz wore a gas mask on the floor of the house of representatives yesterday while voting on funding to combat the coronavirus. I mean, look at him. [ laughter ] he looks like bane on a job interview. [ laughter ] where do i see myself in five years . Killing the batman, of course. [ laughter ] according to reports, disgraced movie mogul Harvey Weinstein underwent heart surgery last night and will be transferred to Rikers Island prison when he recovers in that case, get well soon, harvey [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause mariah carey has postponed a concert in hawaii this month due to the coronavirus outbreak. Instead, shell be replaced by a more coronavirusfriendly performer, Purell Williams [ laughter ] [ applause ] its all downhill from here. [ laughter ] a zoo in tennessee recently gained attention after their female Komodo Dragon reproduced without a male partner, or more likely, shes cheating, dude [ laughter ] a popup restaurant based on the movie clueless will open in los angeles later this month theyll even have someone who looks just like young paul rudd. Paul rudd. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause adult website, pornhub, has recently added more than 120 coronavirusthemed videos. [ light laughter ] guys, guys, were supposed to be conserving tissues right now [ laughter ] yeah [ applause ] Purell Williams. [ laughter ] disney world opened its first mickey and minnie mouse themed ride yesterday big deal, all of our rides are mouse themed, said the new york city subway [ laughter ] [ applause ] i know on my way to work today, i saw, like, four mickeys and two minnies. [ laughter ] and finally, the success of plantbased Meat Industry is really taking off with companies, like, beyond meat and the impossible burger. Fake meat is becoming very popular and companies are claiming that their products are tasting more and more like real meat i saw a commercial last night making the same claim. Take a look. Hey, greg, you hungry always. Well, here, try this. A hamburger i really think youre going to love it just try it. Well, you dont have to tell me twice what do you think its really good. So, you like it yeah, its delicious. What if i told you that it wasnt real meat, but was 100 plantbased wow those taste just like meat, and i love it. I know, right yeah. Its the only 100 plantbased burger that tastes like real horse meat. [ laughter ] what now . Its made from plants no, the other part . Oh, it has the exact same flavor, aroma and nutrition as real horse meat. Take another bite. I dont want another bite [ laughter ] yeah, youre probably full. Full of plantbased meat that tastes like real horse all right, this is disgusting but you said you loved it well, yeah. Thats before you told me what it was supposed to taste like. Like horse meat okay, i have never in my life had the desire to eat horse meat but now you will, because youve tried it and you know now like it. Yeah, i dont want to eat anymore. Well, maybe youd like to try these meatballs. One is plantbased and the other is real horse meat [ laughter ] im not trying either of these. Really . Because the plantbased one does taste like real horse meat [ laughter ] a taste weve established you like no. All right well call this one yay and this one neigh. [ laughter ] no, i dont want anything that tastes like horse how about you try some of these Chicken Nuggets. Guess what theyre not made from chicken. Yeah, i get it, theyre made from plants, whatever. But do any of these taste like horse meat no, silly why would we make Chicken Nuggets that taste like horse meat that doesnt make any sense. [ light laughter ] i fibbed [ laughter ] do you want to know what it tastes like . No. Its something you said you really liked ummmm. Its horse meat mmm [ laughter ] you want to know what part of the horse it tastes like no. It tastes like the horses [ bleep ]. Eat beef, because for some reason eating cows isnt as disgusting [ applause ] seth we have a great show tonight. She serves new yorks 14th Congressional District in the u. S. House of representatives. Congresswoman