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House democrats released a copy of an eightpage resolution they will vote on this thursday to formalize the impeachment inquiry. Ah, yes, the old make it so long trump wont read it trick. [ laughter ] im supposed to read eight pages by thursday . What do i look like, a library person . [ laughter ] President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump hosted trickortreaters at the white house yesterday and gave out fullsized hershey bars. And the kids were super excited, until they got the bill. [ laughter ] thats right, trump and melania held a halloween event at the white house. Melania handed out candy, while trump took it back [ laughter ] sorry, kid, executive privilege. [ laughter ] no, i dont want the candy corn you can keep the candy corn. [ laughter ] during the event, President Trump and melania passed out candy to trickortreaters on the white house lawn, im guessing for the first time [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause seth why why are you putting it on his head all right ill give this banana in overalls some candy, but im not im not bending over for it. [ laughter ] apple added 400 new emojis to iphones yesterday, including a pinching hand used to suggest that something is small. Said men, so what she wants me to buy only a little bit of eggplant . [ laughter ] what do you think that means . What . The university of arizona announced yesterday that it will be changing its abbreviations from u. A. To u arizona in an attempt to differentiate itself from United Airlines it will also differentiate itself from United Airlines by providing meals. [ laughter ] a town in ireland broke a Guinness World record this weekend by gathering over 1,000 people dressed like harry potter and if you want to see 1,000 people who look like ron weasley, just go to any town in ireland any time. [ laughter and applause and finally, the impeachment inquiry in the house rolls on. In todays docket, there was testimony provided by Lieutenant Colonel alexander vindman, the top ukraine expert on the National Security council. And a decorated iraq war veteran who received a purple heart after being wounded in iraq. Pretty solid witness, right . Well, turns out that depends on whom you ask get this. This is buried in the New York Times piece tonight, but i found it very interesting. Because colonel vindman emigrated from ukraine, along with his family when he was a child, and is fluent in ukrainian and russian, ukrainian officials sought advice from him about how to deal with mr. Giuliani, though they typically communicated in english. Here we have a u. S. National security official who is advising ukraine while working inside the white house, apparently against the president s interests, and usually they spoke in english. Isnt that kind of an interesting angle on this story . Seth this bring us to a segment we call hey [ cheers and applause seth hey laura ingraham, youre attacking a decorated veteran to protect donald trump who do you think you are, donald trump [ laughter ] and by the way, yes, colonel vindman emigrated from ukraine when he was 3. Nobody even remembers where they were when they were 3, with the possible exception of you. Im sure when you were 3 you were already at saks fifth avenue making a salesperson cry. [ laughter ] and hey, do you really think its smart to attack veterans on fox news veterans make up a pretty good chunk of your audience i think it goes veterans, people visiting their elderly relatives, and rageaholic golfers age 73 and up. [ laughter ] but hey. At least you werent alone a cnn contributor named sean duffy got in on the action as well. Mr. Vindman, hes an adviser to the president he is a former ukrainian he wants to make sure the taxpayer money goes in military aid to the ukraine im sorry im sorry. Why does it matter why does it matter where he was born im sorry, congressman duffy why does it matter where he was born im going to explain that to you. That came up on fox news. Hes an active duty military member, an american who was awarded the purple heart but you know what, it seems very clear that he is incredibly concerned about ukrainian defense. I dont know that hes concerned about american policy, but his main mission was to make sure that the ukraine got those weapons. Seth oh, hey, sean duffy, you dont know about his concern for american policy . He got a purple heart fighting for america. You were, and this is true, this seriously true, a cast member on the real world boston. [ laughter ] and by the way the real world boston is the biggest oxymoron i have ever heard. [ light laughter ] boston isnt the real world. Its like Colonial Williamsburg with fistfights. [ light laughter ] and hey, you guys think hes putting ukraine over america, because he speaks ukrainian . It might actually be helpful to speak the language of the nation youre dealing with. Imagine how much Better Things would be doing here if this guy spoke english. [ laughter ] and hey, cnn, why are you having sean duffy on anyway from now on, anytime you have someone from a reality show on cnn, someone from cnn has to go on a reality show. [ light laughter ] lets see how wolf blitzer does on love island. [ laughter and applause hed probably if im being honest [ cheers and applause i bet hed do pretty well. I like your beard your beard matches your face. [ laughter ] your first name is wolf i like that. [ laughter ] this has been hey [ cheers and applause we have a great show for you tonight. She is an Academy Awardwinning actress and the star of last christmas, in theaters next weekend Emma Thompson is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause he is a very funny actor and comedian and a wonderful guy you know him from saturday night live. Alex moffat is here tonight. [ cheers and applause and he is an incredibly talented playwright whose show slave play is currently on broadway at the golden theater jeremy o. Harris is joining us [ cheers and applause now i you guys, im in my 40s. Im married. I have two kids. But nothing makes me feel older, and im being serious about this, than when i realize those moments i realize i no longer understand teen slang terms. And it seems like these days they evolve so quickly that its very hard to keep up so as a service to you and to myself, we decided to give you a little primer on new teen slang terms in a segment we call seth explains teen slang. [ cheers and applause seth all right our first slang term the teens are using is george w. Kush. [ light laughter ] heres the definition. Its a terrible weed dealer who you now miss because your new guy is somehow even worse. [ laughter and applause for example, my last weed dealer was always late and could never break a 20, but hes great compared to this new weirdo who just sits on my couch, talks for an hour, and never has weed. [ light laughter ] i miss that george w. Kush [ light laughter ] you might have overheard some teens talking. And heard this one dropped this slang term is called spidermansplain. Heres the definition. Its when a male comic book fan explains the marvel universe to a female comic book fan. [ laughter ] for example, jason was telling michelle about how thanos made his first appearance in the invincible iron man no. 55. And she was like, i know the marvel universe like the silver surfer knows his home world zennla. Dont spidermansplain that to me, bitch. [ laughter and applause moving on. [ cheers and applause this is very helpful thanksgiving just coming around the corner this will be helpful when youre with grandparents and maybe also teens. Its yeezer. This is an old guy who loves kanye. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence my grandpa is such a yeezer, i went to the nursing home on sunday and he was listening to late registration on full blast and shouting, we want prenup. [ laughter and applause our next new cause of course teens, very evolved, very interested in politics these days engaged, which explains this next new slang term. Its joe biden. This is the kid who is overconfident he will be voted prom king. [ laughter and applause for example, kyle thinks he has prom king in the bag, but that joe biden just lost the theater nerd vote when he says hamilton sucks ass [ laughter ] next one is really blowing up with the teens across the pond its legxit. Legxit [ light laughter ] good, save your laughs cause [ laughter ] legxit, in case youre wondering, its when youre having trouble getting out of a pair of skinny jeans [ laughter ] it was worth the wait. [ cheers and applause for example, i had three slices of square pizza in the cafeteria, so now legxit is impossible [ light laughter ] guess ill try again in january. Sleepinginjeans [ cheers and applause moving on. Nothing the teens like more than facebook whenever you hear about facebook, its always the teens. [ light laughter ] which explains this. Moving on, we have schmuckerberg. This is a prick who somehow knows all of your most personal details. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence its bad enough that nick gives me a wedgie everyday, but he somehow knows my birthday, my mothers maiden name, and the exact brand of sweaters i buy. He a schmuckerberg [ laughter ] you may be familiar with the existing teen term snack, which means an incredibly attractive person. Well this is snackolantern. This is someone who is hot despite looking like a carvedup pumpkin. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence damian is bald, bulbous and has one tooth, but he can still get it that boy a snackolantern [ laughter and applause helpful for the season, helpful term for the season. You may have heard the slang term hot girl summer. This next slang term is pot girl fall. [ laughter ] heres the definition. This is when it changes from swimsuit weather to sweater weather, so now girls just get high [ laughter ] karen rolled into chemistry in a xl cable knit and shades and couldnt stop giggling whenever the teacher said bunsen burner. [ light laughter ] guess its pot girl fall [ light laughter ] our last teen slang term is doob goldberg machine. This is a large, unnecessarily complicated device thats designed to light a joint. [ light laughter ] for example, i went over to jeremys and just wanted to smoke up, but hes got some crazy doob goldberg machine where you pull on a juicer which sends a ball down a ramp that rolls over and hits a stick that sends a little ball down a ramp. And at the end of that ramp is another stick that pushes another ball down another ramp above that one [ laughter ] and that happens six more times. And the ball seems like its headed down, but it keeps climbing higher up this wall [ laughter ] and then the last ball falls into a pail that drops and spins a globe. But the globe has a moon attached to it you know what . Actually you know what, it would actually [ cheers and applause it probably probably just be easier to show you how it works. [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] [ cheers ] [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause this has been seth explains teen slang. Well be right back with Emma Thompson. 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And give it up for the 8g band, right over there [ cheers and applause back with us tonight, shes the fantastic drummer from an exciting new rock n roll band, starbenders. Be sure to check her out on their latest release, japanese rooms, as well as their brandnew single holy mother. Emily moon, everybody. [ cheers and applause thanks for being here emily. Our first guest tonight is an academy and Emmy Awardwinning actress you know from films such as love actually and sense and sensibility. She wrote, produced, and stars in last christmas, which is in theaters everywhere on november 8th lets take a look. She is eating rubbish when she is outside when shes at home, shes eating my food, and its good im sure it is. What about sleep its all right. She never sleeps. Exercise . Religiously not at all. Alcohol maybe once and a while. Shes drinking like the pirate [ laughter ] you say youre okay yep and your mother says the opposite who do i believe me, obviously me, the mother, of course all right seth please welcome back to the show Emma Thompson, everyone [ cheers and applause seth they would have gone all night. Cant i just sit down seth they would have gone all night. Welcome. Love a dance, love a dance. Seth its so wonderful to have you back. Thank you, darling. Seth and congratulations you have written, you star in, a christmas film you are in one of the most beloved christmas films of all time, love actually. Oh, yes seth yeah. [ cheers and applause seth youre adding i had forgotten seth youre adding to the canon, which is very nice. You must like a christmas film yeah, i like some of them seth yeah. [ laughter ] i like some of them seth thats true theres some duds out there. Yeah. Yeah, though, its not common to get a really good one. But i did feel we needed a new one. Seth you did okay so this was out of necessity [ laughter ] i think necessity is putting it too strongly. Seth yeah. Although, i did need to earn some money seth right, right. [ laughter ] and that is what christmas is all about. [ laughter ] all about people. Lets not forget [ cheers and applause seth i dont want skip over a very interesting detail, you wrote this film with your husband. I did seth and youve never written a film together before no. Seth that must have been a lovely experience. It was, and it was accidental as well. Because because this wonderful producer David Livingston said, do you feel like writing a movie based on George Michaels wham song, last christmas . and i said, not really. [ laughter ] because im not its not my favorite christmas song. Seth yeah. And, um, it was a long time ago. And i listened to it and i thought, last christmas, you gave me your heart then the very next day, you gave it away. And then, what can i do that i cant think of a story so, i told my old man. And we were on a walk in the hills in scotland. And we thought, i wonder if theres Something Else we could do with it could we come at it in a different angle . So, is you started dreaming up this idea. As you start with the idea, which is like a little piece of grit seth yeah. And then you have to kind of pearlize the grit over many years with draft after draft after draft, you know . But, the idea was good and it lasted and i met George Michael about it two years before he died. And what a lovely guy. Seth yeah. And i will say, i which is a thing that i always regret, i almost feel as though i appreciated exactly how lovely he was after he passed away. I totally agree seth you sort of hear the tributes and you realize, oh i sort of saw you through the prism of your pop culture persona yeah. Seth and you were so much more there was so much more depth to you than that. Yeah, he was an extraordinary man. I mean, really on the search all his life for a kind of authentic way of being cause he hadnt come out for a long, long time and that was really hard. And his move from that kind of wham music to like, listen without prejudice is one of the greatest albums of alltime, i think. And i didnt realize it was really spooky, i had no idea how pertinent his lyrics, his poetry and his music were to the movie, abd the story in the movie, until it was, like that late, late arrival that you just described. I just went, oh, my god this guys really deep and profound. And had very, very great things to say about what it is to be human, and how difficult it is and how complicated it is. Seth when you get a message like that from the work youre you know, this is not an adaptation of a song, but the song is the inspiration, somebody elses work yeah. Seth when you get that from them, are you so excited cause youre, like, oh, my god. They had given me more than i even thought or do you have fears of, like, oh, i better not blow this cause this is now more than i thought it was going to be it happened over such a long period of time seth how many years was it from start eight seth eight years yeah. [ laughter ] seth wow yeah. Seth that you guys your marriage survived. [ light laughter ] working on an eightyear project of any kind. Yeah. Absolutely its extraordinary, isnt it seth thats the Real Christmas miracle. Yeah [ laughter ] i mean, any longterm relationship, yeah you just go, how is it possible . Seth yeah. Its basically impossible, actually so you just go every moment that it lasts you go, well, this is kind of impossible [ laughter ] but, it still seems to be here [ laughter ] wow, how fantastic. And just keep your fingers crossed. Seth when did you shoot it, because theres so much Christmas Decorations in the film hmm seth was it past christmas was it before . In real life, when you were shooting it. Well, the fortunate thing was that we were shooting in london at night, before Christmas Seth okay. Three weeks before christmas. Seth okay, great all great everyones okay we started at 2 00 a. M so, in Covent Garden and it was magical, magical and everyones, oh, guys, its christmas. Its so gorgeous. [ laughter ] and then we had christmas and we were thinking, this is great. We get two weeks off for christmas. Forgetting, of course, that christmas is so unbelievably exhausting seth right so, everyone came back afterwards oh, im so tried. It was a really [ bleep ] christmas. [ laughter ] [ mumbling ] long term relationships are impossible. Blah, blah, blah and then we had to carry on doing christmas. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] until february seth ugh [ laughter ] i mean, that is just a nightmare. A nightmare seth you were that terrible neighbor that doesnt take their decorations down oh [ laughter ] seth do, in england because we go from halloween, and then we have a little bit of a break with thanksgiving that you dont have is it just pretty much straight christmas from halloween on over there . From about july seth yeah, from july [ laughter ] yeah, about then. Seth youre a christmasy culture . Terrible. Seth yeah. No, its not i mean, culture is just the wrong word [ laughter ] when we start selling christmas, they start selling it fast and very early seth yeah, yeah, yeah. They come right at you yeah, and im, like with our family, i like christmas, because i had a nice childhood. Seth uhhuh. So, i start sticking cloves into fruit around november [ laughter ] and my husband, who did not have a very nice childhood, really wants to be placed into some medicinally induced into some induced coma around december 15th to january 1st seth okay, gotcha. Yeah, just, like put on a drip or something yeah, so talking of longterm relationships, its taken 25 years you know how you get a hedgehog to come in, just open the backdoor and leave a saucer of milk there and hope it seth im going to pretend i do yes [ laughter ] its a small mammal. Seth okay, yeah. We dont have any left of course, because of Climate Change seth right and brexit as well. They all packed their little [ laughter ] their little mammals rucksacks seth yeah, oh, really . And just yeah, they just left they said, i dont need to be here anymore. Seth they were very they were prostay. Yeah. Seth yeah. There wont be any spare food [ laughter ] and people will start eating us again. Seth interesting, cause i was in italy this summer and there were so many more hedgehogs than i yeah, just yeah. [ laughter ] seth theyve emigrated with their little packs seth and they had british accents. Theyre gone, yeah. [ laughter ] Little Hedgehog passports. [ laughter ] [ squeak ] [ laughter ] seth which is hard for i feel bad for the immigration people, cause to me all the hedgehogs look alike [ laughter ] and their passports are so tiny [ cheers and applause you have to have those tiny stamps [ squeak ] in you go. Enjoy france [ laughter ] seth you know what im going to end it here, only cause i never want people to find out what your hedgehog analogy was going to be. [ laughter ] i want them always to be, like they got so sidetracked that we never knew why emma was saying you know how you lure in hedgehogs with water . And youve got your mallet, anyway [ laughter ] thats Emma Thompson, everybody. [ cheers and applause last christmas is in theaters everywhere on friday november 8th well be right back with alex moffat. 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[ cheers and applause seth you know our next guest from his work on saturday night live, which returns this week with host Kristen Stewart and musical guest coldplay please welcome to the show alex moffat, everybody [ cheers and applause seth welcome to the show thank you thank you so much seth im so happy to have you here im delighted to be here. Seth i was very excited when i first met you, when you went on snl, because i knew you were a chicago guy yep seth got your start there, much like me you had a very different job than i did in chicago. I was a waiter uhhuh. Seth to pay the bills when i was an improviser. Your job your side gig, you worked for the chicago bulls. I did, i was a point guard. Seth you were a point guard. [ laughter ] on one of the years that they werent very good. Yeah shockingly. [ laughter ] seth you were on the acrodunk team yeah. Seth so what is explain the acrodunk yeah. Seth yeah. Yeah. [ cheers and applause everybody here knows what the acrodunk team is, seth. [ light laughter ] its yeah, so you how sometimes you go to a game and theres a bunch of people running down the court and hitting trampolines, and flipping and dunking seth yeah. Yeah, thats what it is seth did, i mean benny and the elevators, we were called. Seth benny and the elevators. For benny the bull. Seth of course, that is a reference to benny the bull. Uhhuh. Seth anyones been around chicago, a very famous mascot. Good old b the b. [ cheers and applause seth how do you thank you seth how do you find your way into diehards. Seth an acrodunk audition, even you know, the same way everybody does [ laughter ] i was up one late up one night, late, having a couple of beverages in my little hovel of an apartment and looking up craigslist talent gig. Seth uhhuh. Possibilities and there it was seth wow yeah. Seth and so then you were and then you there was some acting involved in being on the acrodunk team you would do bits with benny the bull i would, sometimes. Seth okay. Yes seth so what would be a what would be a bit you would do with benny the bull . So one one of my absolute flavorites was one time i was basically a plant in the audience and this is going to maybe pull back the curtain a little bit. So prepare to be sad [ laughter ] i was a plant in the audience. The bulls were playing the mavs. Seth okay. In the Dirk Nowitzki years. And so he had me in a dirk jersey and a mavs hat, sitting in a particular section. Seth and this is, benny the bull sort of tells you where to go benny the bull seth okay. He was my boss. Seth okay, gotcha. [ laughter ] my boss was this creature. Seth you went from this to Lorne Michaels yeah. [ laughter ] similar deal seth for all we know that was lorne. [ light laughter ] im still not sure i want. Seth okay, gotcha. So, yeah, he had me in the audience he had it all preplanned so that the p. A. Guy was like, direct your attention to the jumbotron. Like, phil and stacy had their first date here at a bulls game 10 years ago theyre celebrating their anniversary with us here tonight. They played brown eyed girl. Benny comes up with a cake and then i, as a jerk mavs fan, am like getting in the shot. Like, go mavs dirk, youre the man. [ light laughter ] and bennys assistant, todd, was like pushing me out of the way and i was like, dont push me, dude. [ light laughter ] classic dallas accent. [ laughter ] and so then i kept getting in the frame, he kept pushing me. Until finally, like, he kind of shoved me down a stair and then id, like, get this look of rage and slap the cake out of his hands yeah [ laughter ] oh, it was right, so seth so you were basically a wrestling heel is what yeah i was a wrestling heel. Seth and so the audience must have hated you. Oh, yeah. A little while later i went to my seat and, like, you know seth so you stayed in your seat oh, yeah. Seth okay. Uh [ laughter ] which then a Security Guard came down they kept showing me and my friend on the jumbotron. And any time they did, people would be like, boo get that jerk out of here [ laughter ] punch him in the face. And so a Security Guard came over and was like, sir, wed like to move sections for your own safety. And i was like, thank you very much, but theres this part two to this bit that youre going to love. [ laughter ] and so, like, a quarter later he was like, just be in your seat, be on your phone, dont notice anything. And i was like, copy that, benny the bull. [ light laughter ] and so they show, like, me sitting in my seat everybody starts booing. And then they show benny, like, going like this. And then he starts creeping down and pulls the hat off my head. Everybody cheers and then i, like, ran after him. And was like, mr. Bull, please [ light laughter ] give me my hat back. Im sorry about the cake thing. Which was all for me they couldnt hear it. But [ laughter ] anyway seth as an actor, you have a character, a story yeah, i needed it seth yeah. I needed it seth yeah, yeah, yeah. So then he takes a bundle of balloons, and sends my hat into the rafters. Place goes up for grabs. And then i went down to my seat, grabbed my jacket, and then stood up and walked out. And when i walked out of the stadium, there was the biggest cheer ive ever gotten in my life [ laughter ] people hated me. [ cheers and applause seth well done bravo. Yeah. So that was a fun gig. Seth i feel as though weve made a lot of fun of being an acro acrodunk team yeah. Seth but we actually have footage. This is from, i guess, a christmas video. Prepare to be disappointed. Seth no, i [ laughter ] i was not disappointed lets take a look great seth to prove this is all true seth i mean, thats pretty impressive not bad [ light laughter ] seth you have a sort of famously, snl has a pitch every monday uhhuh. Seth and when i was there, you pitched something that was based on my name yeah. Seth i did not realize that this was something that you had been doing consistently on every monday yeah. Seth do you remember what you pitched for me absolutely seth okay. Seth. How about a commercial for a product, for people who love their drugs extra crispy seth uhhuh. Called seth meyers meth fryers. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] i remember that. Not bad [ cheers and applause seth yeah. And that is probably i wouldnt even say thats a little better than it went in the room because i find that thats about how it went seth but you did it for everyone i did seth and until Steve Higgins finally said, no more. [ laughter ] im telling you this as a friend, dont do it. [ light laughter ] so, yeah, i did it for just two solid years straight [ laughter ] til people were, like, throwing tomatoes at me seth i appreciate your commitment to a bit. Truly my pleasure seth i also really appreciate and i just want to mention this quick trump boys, as good an update feature as ive ever seen. Thank you [ cheers and applause seth and do you ever do you ever i mean, obviously you dont actually look do you ever get any eric trump recognition on the streets i do. Seth yeah. Yeah, yeah. Seth hows that feel great seth yeah. [ laughter ] it does feel like thats a little bit like being the guy in the mavs jersey at a bulls game. Its a lot like that. [ laughter ] boo like, im not the real guy i just do a spoton impression seth it really is, yeah. Yeah. Seth Pitch Perfect impression i just studied a lot of tape. Seth hey, thanks for being here have a great show saturday this was awesome. Thank you. [ cheers and applause seth really appreciate it. Alex moffat, everybody [ cheers and applause snl returns this week with Kristen Stewart and musical guest coldplay well beig r bhtack with more late night. [ cheers and applause state farm is challenging us, every good act we do goes. On the board. Its on. At state farm, were challenging ourselves to each do 100 acts of good. On the board little one. Im here with state farm employee max, who is saving a beached whale. Max. On the board on the board cheering this man has become an absolute hero. Giving back starts with us. Join us at neighborhoodofgood. Com®. Roll introducing jimmy dean a nebiscuit roll ups. St. We took delicious sausage, eggs, and cheese and rolled it all up, in a soft flakey biscuit. Give your family a good hearty breakfast that you can eat on the go. Man 1 vo proof of less joint pain woman 1 oc this is my body of proof. And clearer skin. Man 2 vo proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis. Woman 2 vo . With humira. 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Com to see proof in action. only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. Grab those command hooks and lets make it work. A wreath on every door, lights in every room, go all out because everything comes down damage free. Hallelujah command. Do. No harm. Needs somebody Everybody Needs somebody to love someone to love someone to love i got a little message for you. When you have that somebody, hold on to them, give them all your love. Wherever they are i need you, you, you i need you, you, you i need you, you, you i need you, you, you [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Lately i dont need to tell you that lately the news has been abuzz about the whistleblowers who have come forward about inside information about President Trump. And here tonight is the original anonymous whistleblower, bravely addressing the public for the first time please give a warm welcome to mildred mildew, everybody. [ cheers and applause hey, hi oh, wow. Wow. Hi, seth seth so, wait. Now, you are the whistleblower . Absolutely. [ light laughter ] seth okay. cause i only want to have you on the show if you are im definitely worth having on tv. [ light laughter ] seth all right well, tell us everything you know okay. Well, i blew the whistle because megan, whos in charge of crowning the Community Gardens monthly flower king, told me that my roses were the most beautiful. But the next day, her email blast to the whole club said arthurs were the best which makes no sense, because seth mildred seth . [ laughter ] seth i brought you here to talk about trump oh. His rose garden is great, but i heard he doesnt even grow them himself. Just like arthur that little rascal actually hired outside help to tend to his flowers. Seth so, you dont know anything about President Trump and his phone call with ukraine . Why would i know . [ light laughter ] seth well, you said you were the whistleblower i am. Im the whistleblower for the Royal Oaks Community garden scandal. [ laughter ] seth well then, you know, respectfully id like to wrap this up. I only want to talk with you if you have dirt for me oh, thats exactly what my cousin who works at the white house told me trump said on the ukraine call [ light laughter ] speaking of sneaky phone calls [ laughter ] when megan dated arthur seth wait, wait, wait. What did you say my cousin works for President Trump and listens to all his phone seth no, no, no. Did you say megan . As in the person who decided the flower king . Yes seth megan used to date arthur [ laughter ] who she named the winner for two whole years seth that is messed up i know [ laughter ] seth i mean, that is corrupt to its core ive been saying seth i cant believe no one else said anything what should we do about it should we start a petition what about a protest yes i made a shirt suck a tulip, megan. [ laughter and applause seth this is big we will be right back with jeremy o. Harris on closer look tomorrow [ cheers and applause shishito. Burrito. Raw kitfo. Fried shiso. French fry. Iced chai. Tasty. Pad thai. Baked pie. Half stack. Taco pack. Lobster mac. Baby back. Pork chop. Soda pop. Kebab. Soursop. Hot pot. Im hungry now. Noodle soup. Cantaloupe. Ice cream scoop. Whipped cream bloop. Dumpling. Chicken wing. Peking. And those crispy onion rings. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. We are americas kitchen. count time for one chore [thunder crashing], ah ahh my mower burke the number one. Seen it, covered it. 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Janssen can help you explore cost support options. Shouldnt mean a change in standards. Thats why thanks to you were rated number one in Customer Satisfaction by j. D. Power. Case in point, if youe saviget xfinity internetle. And mobile together, big savings on your wireless bill. Write this down, this is important. Amy, this is actually a life saving class. What a nice compliment, thank you save on fast internet and the best Wireless Network together. What can i say, i love what i do. Thats simple, easy, awesome. Get xfinity internet and mobile together and save hundreds on your wireless bill. Youll get unlimited talk and text and no activation or line fees. Switch today. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest tonight is an awardwinning playwright, whose criticallyacclaimed show slave play is on broadway at the Golden Theatre please welcome to the show jeremy o. Harris, everyone [ cheers and applause seth oh, my goodness, jeremy thank you for being here [ cheers and applause thank you for having me seth we have weve been fortunate enough to meet a few times before this but of all those times, this by far the best jacket. Yes seth and i want you to know that [ laughter ] thank you i feel like i try to, like, you know, come with my sartorial foot seth yes forward seth and, well, it is forward. Thank you seth thank you you know, tonight, i felt like the foot i should have led with was my dancing foot, because Emma Thompson was so good seth yeah. And i think she just outdanced me. Seth no, well well find out. Well have everybody text in to vote great seth yeah. Oh, my god, that would be so good [ laughter ] seth and then whoever does the best can come back next month. [ laughter ] so, first of all, we have something in common, which is we both have an enduring admiration for rihanna. You actually use a rihanna song in your show is this something that you had always thought you wanted . Or was it after you actually saw it on its feet you were like, oh, i know what will match with this well . Well, i mean, the thing with so rihanna is so a part of me. Im not not to make this, like, person whos so not inside of my body a person thats inside of my body. But she lives inside of me seth okay, gotcha. [ laughter ] like, she actually does seth so if we need her yeah, if you need her, i can actually, like, summon her to the space now. [ light laughter ] i mean, where do you think i got the jacket but the thing is, when the play came to me, it like hit me like a bolt of lightning. And the first thing that was playing in my mind was work. And thats because and this is kind of a spoiler but, like, work is a song that played in my mind for three years straight so i decided that it should play in the mind of the lead characters for three years straight seth gotcha. Its great that you have it. And then she came and saw the show she did seth and that must have been for you, as any creator of art, when someone you respect comes to see it. She was texting during the show, which some people were critical of but it turns out that she was texting you during the show. Yes yes. Seth that must have just been wonderful it both was and wasnt, for my inbox seth okay. The next day after i said she did that seth oh, gotcha. A lot of people got very up in arms about the fact that i didnt, like say like, no rihanna, no [ laughter ] all these people were like, you know when linmanuel had saw madonna texting during hamilton, he told her she could not come backstage and i was like, yeah, im not lin. [ laughter ] i dont have hamilton money. Also also rihanna was, like, texting me that she loved the show she also texted me some very funny things seth okay. About the show that just are going to live with me forever. Seth yeah. So i was just you know, again, there theres so many bigger issues with theater as far as like whos there, how theyre there, what theyre doing when theyre there that like for me, rihanna texting was, like, the least of my worries when it came to, like, theater. Because my mom texts every time she sees my play i dont know what to do about that so im not going to like, i would have to, like, yell at my mom and tell her she couldnt come back stage at my play seth yeah. If i was, like, going to have a hard line on texting in the theater. Seth youve actually be very outspoken about what you were talking about, the bigger issues with the play. Because, you know, it does some like, in a good way, theres more representation on stage but still, broadway audiences are theres a lack of diversity there. Youve tried very hard to bring diversity into the seats as well can you talk about the things you wanted to do and even with slave play, just the affordability of tickets, things like that yeah. I mean, so one of the things i told all the producers on slave play was that no one wants to walk around being like, hey, i got really rich producing slave play on broadway. [ laughter ] seth right least of all when youre a white producer, right . Seth right, right. [ laughter ] you dont want to be like, i made so much money doing slave play on broadway. [ laughter ] which is psychotic so i was like, can we make sure that we, like, are making it so that people like me can actually see a play on broadway . Because i and this is a very real thing i did not see a play on broadway until four years ago, and that was lucas hnaths a dolls house, part 2 on broadway with a free ticket that i got from a friend at juilliard. So and like, one of the biggest things was that i was a theater maker who wanted to do theater, wanted to make theater. And i worked four jobs and, like, also asked my mom to help me pay for my rent. To like in order to afford to have some piecemeal version of it so i could never afford, like, a 200 ticket. And most of the major plays on broadway right now have, like, an average ticket price of 110. Seth right and thats, like, you know if anything like a huge portion of your rent, if not your light bill for the month so i wanted to make sure that, like, there were 10,000 Tickets Available for 39. That any time someone came at 9 30 a. M. , they could get a rush ticket for 39 and that we could give as many free tickets away to kids as possible during, like, our previews which we did, which was amazing. Seth and was it [ cheers and applause as a creator of art, it must have been nice to be able to give that to them. And obviously, you know, youre making something that you want people from all walks of life to see. Yeah. Seth so it must be nice to have all walks of life in the theater. The theater has to be full of people who look like me. And not just my skin color, but my age, my like sexual identity, all these things and price is a big thing that prohibits them from coming not to mention the fact that, like, you know, most people who dont look white, wealthy, and like over 60, have never been invited to the theater and thats because in the 70s, all of the major regional theaters created subscription programs for young like, cool people who wanted to see theater. So, like, theaters like the roundabout had, like, programs where if you were a young couple you would buy, like, a 40 membership, and youd be able to see theater all year long. But they only, like programed those plays for that audience. Because they were like, we have it we have like all these people. But that audience is much older and theyre dedicated theatergoers. But that same invitation hasnt been made for my generation. Seth yeah. So i was like, how can we you cant invite someone to your house for a dinner party and like expect them to make a fourcourse meal which is what i feel spending 100 on a play is like but you do say like, will you bring a bottle of wine . Seth right [ laughter ] and thats a 39 commitment seth you also this is very nice. You tweeted some scams you even called them scams, of ways to see theater. This was nice, i havent used since i was an undergrad you go to the box office and confidently say your name when they ask when they dont see your name, just say, x board member invited my dad and i. they will find a ticket. [ laughter ] i mean, i hate to say this, but i scammed a lot of theaters in california seth yeah. And new york. [ laughter ] and chicago in my, like, rush to want to see theater in my early 20s. Seth this is another one i like text a rich friend, oh, my god, have you heard about this insane show slave play . Everyones saying its amazing. Then send them a link and they will say, should we go . And then they will buy the tickets. [ laughter ] yes [ applause ] seth one, i hope people do that and, two, i think its great that people should get in there, and they should see the play and its worth 39 it is worth all the other ticket prices as well and listen, im looking at you right now. Seth yeah. Because you said you think people should text their rich friends. Seth yeah. You are rich. Seth oh, yeah. [ laughter ] im in this space seth yeah. If someone tweets you tonight that they want to see slave play, will you buy them a ticket seth yeah. You will . Seth yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause okay. Okay i didnt plan this scam. Seth okay, great this is good i cant believe this is a scam i brought up on the spot. Seth i brought up the scams and then you scammed me yes [ laughter ] seth so i cant sit here now and be like, i didnt know he was a scammer, and then tweets. Argh no, it would be my honor okay, great tweet at seth lets say the first 10 people that tweet me about this, i will get tickets to slave play. Will you get them premium tickets . [ cheers and applause seth yeah. You will . Seth ill give the first 10 people to tweet me. [ cheers and applause you know what . What an honor to be played by you, sir jeremy o. Harris, everybody. [ cheers and applause slave play is currently on broadway at the Golden Theatre through january 19th well be right back. Bravo. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to Emma Thompson, alex moffat, jeremy o. Harris, everybody. [ cheers and applause emily moon, the 8g band. Stay tuned for lilly singh well see you tomorrow ill do it too [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause lilly tonight on a little late with lilly singh ive got the multitalented lea michele and the incredible Justin Hartley [ cheers and applause thank you so much for having us its really great to be here. Lilly oh of course lea, since youre such a talented singer, i was thinking maybe you

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