Tomorrow between doug jones of the democratic party, and roy moore who is not allowed at parties. [ laughter ] one more. Thats right, the election is tomorrow, and roy moore is already setting up for his victory celebration. [ crowd groans ] bridge too far . [ applause ] overstayed my welcome . Okay, i hear you loud and clear. Four women today accused celebrity chef mario batali of sexual misconduct. And when he found out, batali was so depressed. He could barely dress himself for the past five years. [ laughter ] [ applause ] according to the New York Times, President Trump sometimes watches msnbcs morning joe because it fires him up for the day. Its the same reason he watches dora. [ light laughter ] why doesnt she give me more time to answer . [ light laughter ] i knew where the key was, it was just so fast. [ light laughter ] the New York Times also said there is a rule in the white house that no one is allowed to touch the tv remote except President Trump and the Technical Support staff. And i know that sounds insane, but, remember, thats literally the only rule. [ light laughter ] a former facebook executive recently said that he feels tremendous guilt about helping to create the company. While the creator of tinder said, i feel nothing. [ laughter ] according to a gallup poll, 80 of russians approve of Vladimir Putins leadership, while the other 20 are missing. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] im sure theyre fine. Theyll turn up. Golden globe nominations were announced this morning, and hbo led with 12 nominations. Not to be outdone, netflix led the field in allegations. [ crowd groans ] imagine having to host it. [ laughter ] a man in england had to be rescued by firefighters after cementing his head inside a microwave for a youtube video. [ laughter and applause ] i dont know, did he have to be rescued . [ light laughter ] and finally, according to reports, prince harry has chosen to quit smoking for his fiance meghan markle. More for me, said the queen. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] hes the star of blackish on abc, and is the voice of bones the bull in the animated movie ferdinand. Anthony anderson is back on the show. Always a delight to have him here. [ cheers and applause ] she just received a golden globe nomination for her performance in a great new film downsizing. Hong chau is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] talk about that fantastic film. And we will have standup comedian Amanda Seales is here, shes very funny. [ cheers and applause ] im very much looking forward to you getting to see her. Before we get to all of our fantastic guests, President Trump is pulling out all the stops to help elect an accused sexual predator in tomorrows special election in alabama. And thats because roy moore and donald trump have a lot in common, up to and including the fact that theyre both wildly unfit for office. For more on this its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth for most people selfcare usually involves eating well, getting some exercise, or staying off social media. For donald trump it means periodically holding a rally to bask in the warm embrace of his supporters, and relive the 2016 election as he did yet again on friday in florida. The great state of florida, where we had a tremendous victory, didnt we . Michigan hadnt been won in many, many years by a republican. We went to wisconsin, hadnt been won in many, many years. And her husband supposedly said, you better go to wisconsin. And she said no, no, no, bunch of dummies, just a bunch of dummies. Do you remember, there is no way for donald trump to get 270. We heard that for week after week, and we won. Seth oh, my god, get over it, man [ laughter and applause ] trump is like a guy who threw one touchdown in high school, and tells the story to everybody who comes into his bar. [ light laughter ] hes the buddy garrity of american politics. [ laughter ] of course, our current catch22 is this. Is it better for trump to obsess over his election win . Or to focus on and potentially mishandle the north Korean Nuclear crisis. Hes clearly more comfortable talking about his win as evidenced by the fact that he briefly mentioned north korea, and then immediately veered off his prepared remarks to undercut himself. As part of a campaign of maximum pressure on the vile dictatorship of north korea, we have imposed the toughest ever sanctions passed by the United Nations security council, and we have a lot of other sanctions. But you know i dont know that sanctions are going to work with him. We got to give it a shot, you know, well see. Who knows . Ill just tell you, folks, youre in good hands, thats all i can say. [ crowd groans ] seth you cant say youre in good hands right after a sentence that makes it clear were not in good hands. [ light laughter ] thats like saying im good to drive and then sticking your keys into the gas tank. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] now, at the very least you might be reassured by the fact that our allies like nato have our back in a potential crisis. But trump has gone out of his way to pick fights with those allies over what he falsely claims is their refusal to pay for military assistance. A line he repeated on friday. I told the people of nato, standing right behind me, while they were standing behind me, they have been delinquent. They havent been paying. I said, you got to pay, you got to pay. And i guess i implied if you dont pay, were out of there, right . So well have a nation that doesnt pay, then their nation gets frisky with whoever. Seth gets frisky . [ light laughter ] our president refers to war the same way your grandparents refer to sex. [ light laughter ] you know, after a couple of sherries, russia can get pretty frisky. [ light laughter ] of course for trump, the substance of the speech is itself meaningless compared to the validation he receives from the crowd. So naturally, his fragile ego was once again bruised when a reporter for the Washington Post dave weigel tweeted a photo of the arena where trump spoke with many empty seats. Now, weigel quickly deleted the tweet after realizing it was misleading. But that didnt stop trump from whining about it on twitter writing, dave weigel, Washington Post put out a phony photo of an empty arena hours before i arrived. Demand apology and retraction from fake news Washington Post. And weigel in return did the standup thing, apologized, tweeting, i apologize. It was a bad tweet on my personal account, not a story for Washington Post. I deleted it after like 20 minutes, very fair to call me out. So there you go. Trump demanded a retraction and apology, got a retraction and apology, which im sure he accepted with grace, and im just kidding, our colicky man baby president wouldnt shut the hell up about it. [ light laughter ] President Trump called for his dismissal. Quote, dave weigel of the Washington Post just admitted that his picture was a fake, fraud, showing an almost empty arena last night for my speech in pensacola, when in fact he knew the arena was packed as shown also on tv. Fake news. He should be fired. Seth you know, im not sure getting fired for false tweets is really a precedent you of all people want to send. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i mean if tweeting something incorrect was a fireable offense, you would have had to give your inaugural address while holding a Cardboard Box full of your stuff. [ light laughter ] well its great to be here, but ive been fired. But this goes to the very heart of trumps world view. One set of rules for him and the people closest to him. Another set of rules for everyone else. If youre an immigrant, or a minority, and trump thinks you broke the law, he only wants to punish you. If youre a white man close to him, whos been accused of a crime, trump thinks you deserve leniency. If youre a reporter, and you make a mistake, trump wants you fired. But if youre trump, or one of his acolytes you get to lie brazenly with impunity. Reporters are human, human beings make mistakes. The difference is, when reporters get something wrong theyre accountable, take responsibility for those mistakes. Trump lies as often as he breathes, and yet when asked if he has ever made a mistake said only this. That notion of forgiveness, thats not a central tenant for you . Well i try not to make mistakes where i have to ask for forgiveness for one thing. The idea of repentance. Is that something thats important to you . I think repenting is terrific, i mean but do you feel the need to . Why do i have to you know, repent . Why do i have to ask for forgiveness if youre not making mistakes . Seth i would love to see trump in a confessional. Forgive me father, but i nailed it again. Another perfect week, zero hail marys, and zero our fathers. In the name of the donald, the trump, and the holy me. [ laughter ] [ applause ] trump constantly lashes out at the media, even though he seems to spend so much of his time watching cable news. In fact, in a behind the scenes account of trumps daily routine, the New York Times reported over the weekend that trump spends at least four hours a day, and sometimes as much as twice that in front of a television. Eight hours. Whos letting him watch that much tv . Even netflix checks in on you after three hours. [ laughter ] but the most important take away from this article is the shocking degree to which trump is temperamentally and emotionally unfit for office, and the degree to which hes in over his head. Which brings us back to that rally in florida. Even though it wasnt in alabama, the main theme of the rally was trumps fullthroated support for a candidate who is just as unfit for office as he is, roy moore. Alabamas special election is tomorrow. And trump used the rally once again as an opportunity to urge his supporters to back moore, an accused child molester. At one point he even repeated his support for moore at the urging of someone in the crowd. This guys screaming we want roy moore, hes right. Just so i can satisfy this gentleman out there. How many people here are from the great state of alabama . [ cheers and applause ] so get out, and vote for roy moore. Seth hes taking requests from the crowd now. We dont have a president , we have a radio dj. Youre listening to donnie in the morning. This next one goes out to roy moore, and its called banned from the ymca. [ light laughter ] now, trump and moore have a lot in common including their penchant for conspiracy theories, alleged sexual predation, and the fact that theyre both grossly unfit for office. Lets not forget that even before the allegations against moore surfaced, he was removed from office twice for disobeying court orders, said homosexual conduct should be illegal, and said muslims should be barred from serving in congress. And like trump he also seems to be an admirer of Vladimir Putin. In august, moore was asked about a quote from Ronald Reagan who said, russia was the focus of evil in the modern world, and said this he said that russia was the focus of evil in the modern world. You could say that very well about america, couldnt you . Do you think . Well, we promote a lot of bad things, you know. Like . Samesex marriage. Thats the very argument that Vladimir Putin makes. Well, then, maybe putin is right. Maybe hes more akin to me than i know. What would you say to him . [ speaking in russian ] [ crowd groans ] seth its pretty alarming when a guy slips into fluent russian, and it isnt even the most sinister part of the clip. [ light laughter ] is roy moore a character on the americans . [ light laughter ] it would make sense. He dresses the way a russian would think americans dress. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ russian accent ] dimitri, here. Here is cowboy hat dimitri, wear this, become judge. [ light laughter ] is this a good way of talking . Yes dimitri, that is southern talk. I dont like homosexuals. Very good dimitri, very convincing. [ light laughter ] so, youve got donald trump the president , and the leader of the Republican Party enthusiastically supporting roy moore. Two accused sexual predators, and outspoken admirers of vladamir putin. One, a wannabe authoritarian strong man, and the other, a lawless theocrat, and in other words bunch of dummies. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with anthony anderson, everybody [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Volunteer at neighborhoodofgood. Com. State farm. That can make you sad, of multiple symptoms feel tired, and have difficulty concentrating. Trintellix is a Prescription Medication for depression. It may help you take a step forward in improving your depression. Tell your healthcare professional right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. Do not take with maois. Tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications, to avoid a potentially lifethreatening condition. Increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur, especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin or blood thinners. Manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. May cause low sodium levels. The most common side effects were nausea, constipation, and vomiting. Ask your healthcare professional if its time for a change to trintellix. Try degree ultraclear black white saves your white clothes from yellow stains and black clothes from white marks still with 48 hour sweat protection. Try degree ultraclear black white it wont let you down its the same as having wings. To the stars beyond the blue. Theres a never land waiting for you. When you leave the world behind, you can fly. You can fly. You can fly. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. And please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also joining us this week on drums, hes one of the most innovative voices in jazz music today. And the critically acclaimed album jersey from his band, the Mark Guiliana jazz quartet is available now. Mark guiliana is here. Welcome back. [ cheers and applause ] thank you seth. [ cheers and applause ] seth our first guest tonight received a golden globe nomination this morning for his work on the hit abc show blackish. Hes starting in the new animated movie ferdinand, which is in theaters friday. Lets take a look. Cant we just show you off to the rest of the guys . Whoa. Ferdinand is that you . Hey guys. Whooo little ferdinand, youve had a growth spurt. Suddenly i regret every time i called you weirdo. Dont sweat it, bones. Were good. Seth please welcome back to the show, anthony anderson, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] okay. Seth welcome back. Thank you seth. Before we get started, can i Say Something . Seth please. You have Amanada Seales on the show. Seth yeah. Right. I was just backstage with her. And she told me, i was rude to her the first two times we met. Basic she actually said i was an asshole. Seth okay. [ laughter ] so seth this is our standup comedian. Yes. Seth that is on tonight so i would like to amanda, i know you can hear me. So i was like seth there are tvs in her dressing room. Yes. But i want her to hear me through the walls. Seth okay, great. Amanda, i sincerely apologize to you in front of all these people and the 72 Million People that are watching seth meyers right now. [ laughter ] i do apologize for my rude behavior. I dont recall it. But if you say that happened, i believe you. So i do apologize. Seth alright. Alright. [ cheers and applause ] seth i do think thats too late to affect her set which is all about what a dick you are. [ laughter ] cant write a new set. Congratulations. You had a great morning. Thank you. I did. Seth youre nominated for blackish. Nominated for blackish. Seth the show was nominated as well. The show was nominated. [ cheers and applause ] seth and ferdinand and ferdinand was nominated. Seth so thats really exciting. Yeah, it was a great morning. Seth im very excited. I also this is exciting for me to ask. Because my sons very young, i got another one on the way. You have two . I have two. Seth your daughter finishing college, senior in college . Senior in college. Seth your son is waiting to hear, yes . Waiting to hear, my wife and i are supposed to be empty nesters. But thats not going to happen because my daughter is graduating in may. And just found out the other day that shes moving back home after graduation. Seth okay. And my son has not received his acceptance letter to any of the colleges he applied to. So he may not even leave the house. Seth okay, gotcha. Yeah. Seth so youre a full nesters. So im a full nester. Yeah so thats right where i am right now. Seth gotcha. Yeah. Seth you i wanted to ask, did you go on the College Tours . Did you go with your son . I did. We only went on one. Seth uh huh. I went to Howard University. Thats it, just one. Seth thats great work man. He was only going to Howard University. Seth okay. Thats where i went. Thats where his mother went. And thats where his mother and i met. Seth oh, great we didnt conceive him there. But we tried to. [ laughter ] seth yeah. We tried to. Uh, so no, we went to howard, man. Because i wanted my son to have the black experience that i had when i was a student at Howard University. And, you know, because hes been living a blackish experience. Seth yeah. So i wanted him to experience that. And i took him to the school. And he fell in love with it. Seth when you walk around on the tour are you hoping that well you got your son with you. Are you little hoping youll get recognized by the other kids . Its a black university seth. Yes, they recognize me. Seth okay, good. [ laughter ] im good in the black markets. [ laughter ] seth cause i i was on Howard University campus once. And i couldnt get arrested. Yeah. Yeah but if you went across town to g. Dub and georgetown seth seth yeah. Seth true story, i went to Howard University once. You know who i went with that i think is one of the reasons i did not get recognized . Who was it . Puff . Seth michelle obama. Oh, michelle obama. Seth yeah. Oh no. Nobody gets recognized with michelle obama. Seth no, i was just the blurry outside. Oh yeah. Seth yeah. What were you guys doing there together . Seth we shot something for her educational initiative. Oh really . Seth it was fantastic. Okay, yeah. Seth when college we surprised college students. Like she walked out and surprised them. People lost their minds in a way. Oh yeah. Seth and it made so much sense to me once i saw it. Yeah. Seth especially kids that were freshman. Because you realize how young they were when they came into when she came into their lives. Right. Seth it was just stunning to watch. I had the opportunity to play golf with president obama. Seth oh, wow. And not too long ago. And, man, just its amazing, they had snipers on mountain ridges. [ laughter ] you know, they shut the golf course down. It was just the president , myself, chris paul and Michael Phelps man. Seth wow. And some of our other friends. Thats one hell of a foursome man. Seth now how how is your golf game . Its horrible. Seth okay. Yeah, its horrible. Seth is it but you still were confident enough to golf . Oh, yes. Seth okay. Oh no, no, no, its horrible, only because work gets in the way. You know when im playing consistently seth but you know what youre doing . I know what im doing. Seth were you more nervous when youre golfing with the president about your game . No, not at all. Because i didnt think he could play. Seth uh huh. [ laughter ] but he can play. And he talks a lot of trash man. He talks a lot of trash. And he was the best golfer out of all four of us. Seth wow. Yeah, he took our money. And i couldnt believe it. [ laughter ] i was like, as a taxpayer, i cant believe he takes the money. [ laughter ] he was like, im a civilian now. I can take your money. But then, i took chris paul and Michael Phelps money. Seth alright, so yeah. Seth it all worked out. It all work it all balanced itself out. Seth okay, thats great. I want to ask about you were the were you grand marshall of the grand marshall of the Compton Christmas parade. Seth what is the Compton Christmas parade like . Its exactly oh what its like . I thought you were about ask me, what is it . Seth yeah, no. I was going to be like, its a Christmas Parade in compton. Yeah, no i [ laughter ] i had pieced that together. Oh yeah. Seth now i want to know what its like. No, its interesting. I have been the grand marshall of the Compton Christmas parade a few times in the past. And, you know, we its not your traditional floats or anything like that. You know, we rode in lowriders. Seth uh huh. Yeah, we rode in lowlows. I was in a six deuce impala. My mama was behind me no, my children were behind me in a convertible bmw. My mama was behind my children in a corvette with the doors open. [ laughter ] and actually like flying, wings up. And my grandmother was in the corvette behind her. So it was five generations of andersons. Seth that is very exciting. I wanted to ask about your mom. Here you guys are. Oh, there we go. Seth and your mother is shes in the dating scene. Unfortunately for the men out there, yes. Seth yeah. Yes. Seth how is it for you . Does she talk to you about it . You know what . She comes around with, you know, different guys. Let me clear that up. My mama not out there like that. She comes around with, you know, fellas. And was like, baby, you need to meet your new daddy. I was like, im not calling that man my new daddy. [ laughter ] im going to call him your new boy toy because he aint going to be around long. But the thing about my mother, my mother alright, i was born with a gap because of my mother. But my mothers gap is on her bottom row. Seth uh huh. At the come the Christmas Parade on sunday, my mother when i saw my mother, she just started smiling at me. And thats normally how we talk about people in the crowd that were in. I was like, oh, okay. I see it. But we werent talking about anybody, i couldnt understand what she was doing. And she was kept smiling. She said, boy, you dont notice i was like, what mama . She said, i got my damned teeth fixed. She got a whole new set of teeth on bottom and top row. But she said, but i kept my gap. I was like, no you didnt. She said, yeah i did. I just moved to the top. [ laughter ] so she moved her gap on the bottom row to the gap on the top row. She said, because i didnt want to lose my personality. [ laughter ] i was like, what the hell are you talking about, mama . [ applause ] seth that is fantastic. Yeah, true story. Seth people might not be able to tell, that we knew that was your voice in the clip for ferdinand. Thats john cena. Yes. Seth as ferdinand when you do a film like that, do you get to hang out with john cena . Not at all. Seth yeah. As a matter of fact, i had no idea john cena was in the movie. Seth okay. Because when seth up until when . Ill get to that. Up until the premiere sunday. You know, because when youre doing animated films, youre doing voices. Its just you and the director in the vocal booth, you know . And its just your session and so youre there. And i never thought to ask who was in the movie. Because i always think its all about me. [ laughter ] so we were at the press junket a couple of weeks ago. And the reporters kept asking me about john cena and nick jonas and all these other and i was like, hold on. Wait a minute. They in the movie . [ laughter ] they were like, yeah, you didnt know . And i was like, i had no idea. I just went in and played this little cow. So i left the room and started introducing myself to everybody in the boris kodjoe. Its chuck full of people. Seth thats fantastic. Yeah. Seth i cant wait to see it. Congrats again on all the nominations. Oh, thank you. Seth ill see you out there in january. You got it. Seth always a pleasure. Anthony anderson, everybody. Ferdinand is in theaters friday. Well be right back with hong chau. [ cheers and applause ] come on in for a subway footlong the price is 4. 99 black forest ham meatball marinara spicy italian get five footlongs for just 4. 99 each right now at subway. Nothing. What u doin . Hey. Break through. Break through. Weve made you all diets dear januand cleanses. Rry. Thing is, food isnt a resolution. Its fuel for our resolutions. Fuel to power us, made for us. Its whole grains, fruit and iron. Protein, almonds and quinoa. Food that keeps us strong. January. You deserve better. Youre not a bad month. Youre our beginning. Special k. Woman so, greg, its a lot to take in. Woman 2 and i know thats hard to hear, but the doctors caught it early. Hi, blake my dad has cancer. Woman and i know how hard that is to hear. But youre in the right place. Man and dr. Pascal and her team, they know what to do. They know what to do. The doctors know what to do. So heres the plan. First off, were going to give you all. voice fading away [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a talented actress you know from hbos treme and the film inherent vice. She was just nominated for a golden globe for her break out role in downsizing which is in theatres december 22, lets take a look. You have butterflies . Yes, i like very much. When i little girl, my father, he take me and my sister go and see butterfy. Me in my village, they lived in the trees. You know, they fly cold place to hot place every year. Stay tree, then go away, come back. The migrating butterflies. Yes. That sounds beautiful. Seth please welcome to the show hong chau, everyone. Seth how are you . Hi, im great. Congratulations on your golden globe nomination. Thank you. Thank you. Seth how did when did you find out . Well, i found out this morning, but i took a red eye and arrived at 6 00 this morning to do a press junket. I was in the shower when they were doing nominations so my phone, like, blew up. Seth well, thats very exciting. Yeah. Seth you kind of cant tell, i feel like want to describe a little bit about the film. You and matt damon play people who have been shrunk to tiny size. Were five inches tall. Seth youre are five inches tall. You live in a community of other people that have been shrunk, for the purposes of saving the planet. And shrinking everyone down. You play a vietnamese dissident in the film. I do. Seth and your parents are vietnamese refugees. Were they excited for you to be doing a film with Alexander Payne directing and matt damon as your costar . Well, they dont know who Alexander Payne is. Seth okay, thats okay. They dont care about him but they do know who matt damnon is so they were super excited for me. Seth thats great. [ laughter ] did alexander take it hard when he heard they didnt care about him at all . No, no, he needs to be taken down a couple of notches. Seth okay, got ya. [ laughter ] and your parents have an incredible story. You were now were you you were born in thailand, is that correct . Yes, my parents story is pretty wild, they left vietnam after the war, they were part of boat people. My mom was six months pregnant with me. My dad got shot that night that they were leaving and was bleeding on the boat for three days, until they got to a refugee camp in thailand, thats where i was born. We ended up in new orleans, louisiana because we had a sponsor family there. Seth thats fantastic. Thats such an incredible story. [ cheers and applause ] they its certainly, again, i would be excited to hear you were doing a movie with matt damon. Hes very exciting. Do a lot do people ask you a lot of questions about what its like to work with matt damon . Yes. Seth what was a question they asked about it . People always ask, whats matt damon like . Whats matt damon like . But, and of course the answer is hes wonderful. But some people lean in and they ask, did matt gain weight . [ light laughter ] he looks a little he looks a little fat. Seth hes a little chunky in the movie. He looks fat, in this movie. Seth good, all right, im glad now that question is out. Yeah, but they [ light laughter ] well, i know hes mr. Perfect but i hate to break it to you, he was wearing a fat suit. Seth really . He came straight from doing borne, he was ripped. Seth oh, man. So while the rest of us were finally feeling good about ourselves cause matt damon let go. Yeah. Seth not true at all. Not true at all, sorry. Seth thats all right, thank you for your honesty. Im hoping to work that fat suit into my Golden Globes outfit. Seth absolutely, i think fat suits are going to be the hot look this year. So, you we were talking backstage, new orleans, you were in new york for a while, boston, you found your way to l. A. Obviously the first thing about l. A. Is you got to drive everywhere. But you did not make that decision to drive everywhere. No, no, i was so terrified, i didnt drive for the first four years i lived in l. A. I thought everyone was high. [ light laughter ] seth like high on marijuana . Yeah. Seth yeah, okay, sure. So i was just no, no. I cant risk it, im just going to walk everywhere. Seth wow, its an impossible city to walk around, did you use public transportation, as well . You know, ive been nearly hit a few times. Seth okay, got ya. Well, im glad you survived. Thank goodness. Im glad it was so funny to you. Are you sure youre not the one thats high . [ laughter ] you know while youre being so judgy of everyone driving around l. A. They are like, hey, theres that girl giggling on the sidewalk who almost got hit by a car. They are like, i think she might be the problem. Look, i try to stay positive. Seth i also heard that matt damon reminded you of a game of thrones character . Yes, we didnt meet until our very first day of shooting, so, of course he was a little bit ripped and they wanted him to look doughier, so, not only did he have a fat suit on but they also put chalky makeup on him. And his eyes are so blue, i met him in the makeup trailer, i had my eyes closed and he was like, oh hey, hong, is that you . And he was standing above me and he looked like a white walker from game of thrones. Like, ha [ light laughter ] seth i feel like you have had a very different experience of matt damon than most people, most of his costars. So i do you want to honestly, we talk a lot about immigrants right now, we talk a lot about refugees. Your parents, your family has this incredible story which is, as you mentioned, you came here, you had a sponsor in this country. It seems to have been very welcoming in a way to your family. Is it a story that you feel comfortable telling these days with everything going on . Well, you know, my Natural Inclination is to not talk about myself, which is why im here on this talk show. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] but i think given the climate, if it helps to share my story, so it can humanize a refugee, im happy to share it. But, you know, i also grew up i lived in government housing, i needed government assistance. I was one of those kids who needed lunch assistance, and thats been in the news, i needed pell grants, so, to go to college and, you know, i dont feel like im a scourge to society. So [ cheers ] seth really its really just lovely having you here, thank you for sharing that story and congratulations again on your nomination. Thank you. Seth its a delight to have you. [ cheers and applause ] hong chau, everybody, downsizing is in theaters december 22. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] ok, so with the awardwinning geico mobile app, our customers have 24 7 access, digital id cards, they can even pay their bill beep bill has joined the call. Hey bill, were just phone hi guys, bill here. Do we have julia on the line too . k, well well just phone hey sorry. I had you muted. Well yea lets just phone so what i was thinking ok well well phone yeah lets just go ahead phone oh alright the awardwinning geico app. Download it today. New year, new phones for the family. Join tmobile, and when you buy one of the latest samsung phones get a Samsung Galaxy s8 free. Plus, unlimited family plans come with netflix included. So, you can watch all your netflix favorites on your new samsung phones. Join the uncarrier and get a Samsung Galaxy s8 free. All on americas best unlimited network. Chil chicken and steak for just 10. 99 major fajita improvements 48 more meat, 10. 99 please sing it with us its 10. 99 chilis is back baby back baby back mmhmm oh baby chilis is back baby back baby back even when you know where youre going, it Still Matters how you get there. The lexus line of luxury suvs. Giving you the power to make your own way. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Doto be our next spokesperson . M hes so boring. Hm. Sounds like youre on the fence. Why dont i just leave you my resume . Yes, its laminated. No thanks. Youre hired try caramel m ms. Ow. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Republicans have promised to pass their tax plan by the end of the year which has capitol hill scrambling. To find out a little bit more about how things are going in washington, we ve come up with a new segment called just the tax, maam. [ cheers and applause ] paul ryan continues to push hard for tax reform. Though its hard to push for anything when you dont have a spine. [ laughter ] leave em alone. Seth excuse me . Leave em alone havent we made fun of paul ryan enough . Seth well, you know, he is a public figure. So i think its okay to make jokes about him. Leave em alone. [ light laughter ] poor guy, day in and day out, just trying his best. The last thing he needs after a long day at work is to turn on the tv and see you ripping him a new one. Leave em alone. [ laughter ] seth im sorry, are you a paul ryan supporter . If im a supporter of anything, its compassion. Its human decency, not snide little jokes. If you have to make fun of somebody, make fun of me. Seth yeah, i dont even know you. So why would i make fun of you . Well, you could make fun of the fact that my toenails grow so fast that i have to clip them twice a day. [ laughter ] seth not really something you should tell people. You know, i just usually tell jokes about people who are in the news, people like paul ryan. Oh, sure, make fun of paul ryan. Have your fun. Go ahead and say he looks like a lipless dracula who just shed his skin. Seth whoa, thats really harsh, man. I know. So leave em alone. Seth you know, i think i would just love to get back to my jokes. Oh well, you know what youd love, a laugh. And how about this . You could make fun of the fact that i dress my dog up as santa and my cat up as jesus. And i make them fight about the true meaning of christmas. [ laughter ] or you could make fun of the fact that sometimes i whisper things to superman. Because i figure with his superhearing, he can hear me. Seth i would really rather just make fun of paul ryan. Leave em alone. Seth what . I cant hear you . Well, i was talking to superman. Seth sir, why dont you please sit down so we can continue the show . Fine, go ahead and get back to your paul ryan jokes. You know what id say to that . Seth im guess youd say, leave em alone. Leave em alone [ laughter ] if you need to make fun of somebody, make fun of me. Make fun of the fact that when i got married, i took my wifes name, her first name. So now my legal name was beverly beverly. Seth what was your name before that . Susan beverly. Seth okay. [ laughter ] wow. Need some more material . Seth no. Well too bad, so sad. Leave em alone. Because i got more. You could make fun of the fact that i pee a little bit every time i cry. And i cry a lot every time i pee. [ laughter ] or you could make fun of the fact that the reason the they announced the walkway is about to end, because every time i step on one i scream, dear god, when is this ending [ light laughter ] or you can make fun of the fact that my nickname is miniballs. But its not what you think. Its because i have tiny testicles. [ laughter ] or you could make fun of the fact that i lost my virginity when i was 24. And it came back when i was 31. Seth alright, thats enough. You can just sit down, sir. Alright, ill sit back down. Seth oh no, i didnt mean to upset you. Im not upset, im just peeing. Seth alright, thats enough. Well be right back with standup from Amanda Seales, everybody [ cheers and applause ] new puppy . New food, but theres so many choices at petsmart, we have the largest in store selection of blue buffalo pet food, including puppy solutions which are specifically formulated to support healthy growth and development. From grain free to meat rich recipes, wet food and even puppy training treats. Petsmart and blue buffalo have got you covered. And now, when you spend 50 on blue buffalo puppy products at petsmart, youll save 10 why shop anywhere else . Petsmart. For the love of pets. Take a deeeep breath in. And. Exhale. Aflac and a gentle wavelike motion. Liberate your spine. Aflac and reach, toes blossoming. Not that great at yoga ya but when i slipped a disc, he paid my claim in just one day. So he had your back . Yup in just one day, we process, approve and pay. 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Its the lowest prices of the season on the queen c4 mattress with adjustable comfort on both sides. Now only 1199, save 400. Plus, 36 month financing available. Ends monday. Visit sleepnumber. Com for a store near you. There. More adventure,ere you can get. More woohoo more magic and more happy. So now come to the Disneyland Resort and get. More happy like jacks oneofakind breakfast pockets for 2 each. Three of jacks famous tacos and a small drink for 3 or a classic bonus jack combo for 5 its like i tell jack jr. , its all about big values, jr. Prices. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a very funny comedian who will be headlining at Carolines Comedy Club february 1st through the 3rd. Her podcasts, small doses is available on itunes, please welcome Amanda Seales, everyone [ cheers and applause ] so, surprise cat calling is still a thing. I was on cnn and the other correspondent said, Everybody Knows that women love when strange men yell compliments at them in the street, Everybody Knows that. Thats when i decided i needed to tell him what a compliment was . Cause he doesnt know that. A compliment is words of praise. So, if im in brooklyn at midnight and a jamaican man appears, from the shadows, and says, sweetness you look like a vanilla ice cream, i want to lick ya. [ slurping noise ] thats not a compliment. Huhuh. [ applause ] its a threat. [ light laughter ] if im walking by and some guys pause their dice game and say, yo, shorty with the curly bun and the Janet Jackson velvet and the beetlejuice pants. I see you, ma. [ light laughter ] its not a compliment. [ light laughter ] it an observation. [ light laughter ] if im walking by a construction site and i just hear, eh. Thats not even words. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] well, speaking of compliments, shout out to colin kaepernick, you know . [ applause ] making kneeling sexy, you know, protesting Police Brutality with the national anthem, got people riled up about the national anthem. But i have a question. To everyone in the audience who is not black, make some noise if you know that there is a Negro National anthem. Youre lying. [ light laughter ] there is there is a Negro National anthem, and spoiler alert, it is not a song from hamilton. [ light laughter ] its called, lift every voice and sing. And when i was in high school, i had a white best friend who was like, amanda, as your friend, i feel i should know your anthem. And it was only right because i knew her anthem. Wilson phillips hold on. [ light laughter ] so, we found ourselves at an event where they said please rise for the Negro National anthem, and i was ready to just have malcolm and martin hear me. And here she comes, lift every voice and sing yall she out sang me. [ light laughter ] this is white girl grew cotton under her vocal cords overnight. [ light laughter ] she sang it so good that i am 36 and single and she married a black man. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] thats how the kardashians are getting them. [ light laughter ] they know all the words. I took an uber here i took an uber here and the driver said, i think we can all agree, donald trump looks great for his age. [ light laughter ] i got concerned because a blind man was driving this car. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] donald trump dont look good donald trump dont look good for his money. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] listen. You got that much money, you should have skin smooth like a babys bottom, yet he makes john mccain look like a young asian woman. [ light laughter ] donald trump dont look good for his money, have you seen black people . Pharrell williams is 127 years old. [ light laughter ] he doesnt look good for his money or his age, Obama Left Office with some grey hair. Donald trump will leave in a jar. [ light laughter ] okay . He doesnt look good for his age. You know what . Okay. Okay. Jokes aside, i mean, his Approval Rating of 32 , so to be fair lets just say he looks as good as his presidency. [ cheers and applause ] im Amanda Seales, thank yall. [ cheers and applause ] seth Amanda Seales, everybody. Well be right back. That was great. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth our thanks to anthony anderson, hong chau, Amanda Seales, everybody [ cheers and applause ] roy guiliana, and of course the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ] carson hey, whats up . Carson daly here from last call from the federal bar. Weve got an awesome show coming up. Were going to get things going right now. For our comedy spotlight we tu