[ cheering ] >> greg: yes! thank you. what did i miss? all right. let's do some jokes. tell all books from under biden's baby mama will go on sale in late august. meanwhile hunters working on his own book how to win friends and bank your brother's wife. when asked by reported few few people to finish out another tour president biden replied, okay? are you all right. did you fall on your head. but it was not the first time that he was caught talking to himself. on wednesday the first lady urged americans to choose good over evil. in the upcoming election. was to choose living or dead. she also said trump cannot put a sentence together. which made them qualified to be her husband. meanwhile joe says the 2024 election will depend on biden's ground game but he did not say above below. terrible. white writer is getting criticized for disguising himself as black to write a book about racism. that's like me pretending to be brian to write a book about failure. could have gone in a number of directions with that joke. criminals should not be prosecuted for theft. she's now facing two counts of impersonating gavin. on this day the brassiere was invented. jared celebrated quietly. to the news. liberal hallucination known as the people of new york versus donald trump has ended. and let's just say that the oj trial was a lapse up -- less absurd and he only banged stormy once. let's start with the verdict. it's result more prearranged that a marriage in afghanistan. the only difference there is the gag orders for the wife. what are you fans of afghanistan? i don't need it. the way the judge set it up, it did not even me that there had to be unanimous agreement even though that's firm constitutional law, jurors can vote guilty as long as someone somewhere who look like trump broke the law. if the logic of the hate crime hopes, just because the cracks not happen we are certain it happened somewhere. so finding trump guilty as a punishment for all those who got away. you don't need to be alex jones to see that the trial was the visible outcome of an invisible process. invisible to you and me. the plan was a conscious collusion of united interest sharing a common cause in eliminating what they deemed a threat. they, the government, media and legal system figured out the path forward to this very place that we're at now. never mind how makes you feel or how it makes america look at what it does were legal system, the deeds trumped all. the judge, diehard democrat did not just put a thumb on the scale, he put himself,'s daughter that works for them, wife who works for them, letitia james, james herself and alvin all on that scale. must be the views old scale. i never know if you people. no wonder the judge has some great legal minds fighting over him like he's harry styles jockstrap. >> with respect and like a man crush on him. he is such a great judge that it's hard to see that jurors would not have the same impression, you just keep thinking that if you looked in the dictionary for judicial temperament that is what you get. [ laughter ] >> greg: andrew. keep it in your pants. and buy it i mean what is left respect. there's your media objective legal expertise, what is it with them in their lust for authority figures as they call us the flashes. they soak their panties over totalitarians take castro and doctor fauci you. meanwhile they go after trumped away joy goes after glazed ham. with this conviction the same judge who through the case against trump gets to sentence him on july 11th. this would be trump's first criminal conviction and based on his own policy trump would not face jail time. but when it comes to trump longtime legal policy has away vanishing like hunter after paternity test. so he could ask for jail time and merchant can give it after all he is his bitched. defiantly trump could still run for office from jail, he can even went and run the country from jail. the big house would become the white house. what is great is that he can be in solitary you would still see him more often than biden. [ applause ] that is because even at 32nd clip of joe biden is more stitched together than kathy's face. of course trump could be sentenced to confinement. but have you ever see where he lives? it could be worse. 's house is better than the actual white house. especially now after four years of biden the have to change the name to the brown house. poop joke knowledge. or trump could get no confinement at all but probation. imagine being that probation officer, trump's probation officer talk about a thankless job, that's like being jesse waters to pay wrangler. [ laughter ] where is it? good news is as the trial dissented deeper into the absurdity of corruption trump's numbers have been going up while joe biden's keeps falling like joe biden himself. turns out americans love it when one man fights against a corrupt system with his back up against the wall just as much as they detest a dimension ridden dirt bag that's been spent a half-century patting his leg with your money, the true verdict may come november 5th. and my advice for merchant, and the rest of these loftier losers, laugh now but lawyer up as the saying goes it's not over to left that lady things and that fat lady is america. let's welcome 10 nights guess. he's known for million-dollar deals and zero-dollar haircuts. shark tank star kevin o'leary. [ cheering ] his audience has trouble hearing him over the crickets, writer and comedian. she's like an electric car, a pain in the ass on long trips. new york times best-selling author. and when he plays hide and seek in the forest, the trees get laws, new york times best-selling author and comedian world champion. so this news broke earlier this evening, you had some very smart and solemn words about this case yesterday on the five, how do you feel now, what are you're initial thoughts about the case and about america and about my hair? >> i think the smart move her biden and i started talking about this yesterday, a look like the verdict was gonna come quickly and it did would be to pardon shan through the governor of new york. and say, look. it's now time to talk about that country and policy, it would lift biden out of the morass that happened half the country feel is politically motivated, having this jury make a decision we have a verdict now, we have some incredibly complex situations because the whole system has never contemplated an ex-president being a felon or facing jail time. for example secret surface mandate is to keep them safe under all conditions. they will never allow them to go into prison or how could they. so unless you're going to a prison the entire detail of the secret service to build a special series of cells around him, that's question number 1, number 2 if this things get sentence four days before the convention if he's any way restricted, i think that's gonna look even more politically motivated than anything so far in this trial. >> greg: that is right travel restrictions. >> how would that work, a couple days. just like you said some of these questions are things that you don't even know how you can consider these things. what if he goes to jail a couple days before the convention, do we still have it in milwaukee? do you still go to milwaukee? or do we go to jail? >> or is it done by zoom? he's standing the slammer and holding the convention. >> if he goes to jail it be the greatest jail you ever saw. [ laughter ] it'll be amazing. >> it what he should do, kick everybody out, let him just coasting, hang out there. i think there is no way that he's going to prison. but it would be awesome if you did because this guy feeds off of adversarial energy. what you think what you have a lot of adversaries? did you have no energy. >> what i've learned from this is that i'm not gonna give sex workers hush-money anymore. it's a waste. >> the soviets used to say show me the man and i'll show you the crime. we did not even get back, they shorten the don't know what the instructions were that said go to the jury room find a crime is good enough, close enough. i don't blame them. this whole trial was set up to funnel them, that is why in a way i am more bummed that we are not upset and shocked by this. we saw it was the only way this is going to play out. everything was set up and they turned misdemeanour's into felonies and one count to 34, they just kept using this form of law fair horrible, it's really bad. and i want the people who are cheering for this now, it always comes back around and if they think we can weapon denies the legal system and the irs, that'll never come back to bite us. it will. and that is why we do not do this in a free country. >> well put. >> the little beauty guy made a good point, it felt very pretty preordained, it was like a lawn order as few were you know who the murderer is, it's scripted just as soon as you hear and see the white architect walk in, he's guilty. >> i'm not surprised, necessarily but i don't really under -- understand it. everything does come back around, i think that is what people should be nervous about to understand something like this where they did this untested thing and went after this person and anybody, have somebody who thinks it's a good thing, try to explain to you what he did and why this fits, without saying overall their opinion of who he is in that he shouldn't be president. i think that would be hard for a person to do. especially because these are misdemeanours, it's a thing untested. i really don't understand how you can be just fully excited by this, or blinded by this hatred but even if you hate him so much to not worry about what you said. >> i'm not that broken up about it because i feel like were not even near the third part of this you know what i mean. the way that this whole thing is going with trump's 2015, it works like a movie, there's a first act in a second. i feel like this is the build to whatever's gonna happen, that's why i have this built into the system. >> at this point if we did not see it coming what have we been doing on tv for the last six years. we knew -- i called it. i said he was getting all 34, it didn't matter what the deal was. it was a trial of feelings. we found out that it barely he's not the greatest husband sometimes get you can go to jail for that now. we should all be afraid, man. that's another thing. but what they keep queueing and everyone's like, i liked you at first when i heard it, i was disappointed, and nothing to do with president trump, it's the system. this stuff must happen in the forties and fifties, it's not supposed to happen anymore even the did nero thing outside, it's all part of the plan. and i even planned -- i kept saying is your first time living and breathing martyr in this country. and that happened tonight. i'm ready to get mine on. >> ike i'm calling a now, trump 24. it's ready to go. you should be inspired and anytime you been punched in the mouth, they should be a wake-up call to everyone anywhere because it they can do it they can do it to anyone creating new jobs, i don't like the way she was, semien my guys are gonna get together make sure you can get a business here. >> usually want to get something like this made, is a give sent to me. but now it's all it should be, trump 24, no riots, wheedling violence or nothing, we'll have a hell of a beer party when this is all over we don't need to flip cars in active full be done. it ready, i can't wait to get in line and vote, i'm excited. >> that is the attitude. that is the attitude. get your butterflies in formation, when you're feeling uneasy, at your butterflies information. >> how long would it take to get the butterflies. >> why is dana eating butterflies. that is what creeps me out. up next to the praise trum believe it or not baby... you could earn your... master's... for under 11 thousand! 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[ applause ] >> is trump the hip pop devotion of a racist notion? times does not like when trump fans rock the amply named charles blow -- just wrote a piece highlighting why wrappers have become so-called trump evangelist, he pointed out that two artist at the bronx rally last week chef jean lowe are facing felony charges of their own. which hardly makes them unique in hip-hop or in the bronx appeared to be fair to find a wrapper that it's not facing felony charges you have to ask ben schapiro. [ ♪ ] [ applause ] he can't hear you. he is our own [ inaudible ] , charles claims that the proper support tracks with trump's seemingly transactional relationship with several hip-hop artist. he claims trump dangles pardons to create an unwritten indenture ship for those who get them. what normal people call loyalty but he calls them ponds. so trump helps black people that's bad and if he doesn't that's bad. at least blows are consistently up his own [ bleep ]. he also writes the ostentatious display of wealth endeared him to many in the rap community. as opposed to everyone else would not mind getting rich either. sorry, not everyone can be the recipient of journalistic welfare for newspaper soaps and white guilt. supporting candidate out of one's own self interest is racist. and what does he leave out? that's how everyone votes. wrappers just like us do not want to get shot in the street. and they want to make money and keep their money so they could have a good or better life, just like everyone else in this godforsaken country. i guess charles think that black wrappers are not like the rest of us. would you call that? racist. [ applause ] i wonder who should i go to first on this. >> don't do it. damn you. >> i was gonna ask you who should i go to first on the. >> that's worse. which white person on this panel >> which white person would know the most about this. did charles make a point at all? >> know his last name is blow, enough said. [ laughter ] anybody who does anything creative or do anything that they don't like because it's not their god, they say racist. it's a lazy, what else do you have? there racist against who? and here's the trump before he ran for office everybody wanted to be like president trump, use on posters, it did not matter good be households or college dorms, scarface up and that you have president trump, money, money, money or you are fired. something like that and we all wanted it. he was so over it so i guess home alone two is a racist movie. because not only was he on there but they used his real name to promote what was coming because he was so popular and so beloved by american general that he could walk on a movie and play himself and no one in the audience goes, who exactly. that's who they are against. now its racist, genius. leases thing a brother can claim something is racist he doesn't like. just laziness. >> wadi thank wrappers relate to trump, your businessman. what's wrong with aspiring to financial greatness? >> nothing wrong with it. and he definitely has that iconic image of success in america. real estate here new york and they punished him badly for it so far. this story reminds me of the process that's occurring in the press can give an editor and every day you have to comment was something to get some space because that is your job. and it's almost like publishing if you were a professor. 's you come and say, i have an idea and it's crazy. but i think everybody's a racist including all these musicians. what you think? never done that before, one with that? you can write a story about it and may be people will talk about it. and maybe they might buy the paper, may be. and i think that's kind of journalism that really blows. >> and for that reason -- [ applause ] he demeans this as a transactional relationship, what world is he leaving in when there is no transactional relationship? that's how the civil society is based on i'm good to you that you're good to me. that's all it is. >> but more specifically using a celebrity to try -- politicians ever do that. all the time they are politicians doing that. and he wrote a lot about little wayne in there and i don't think that how to do with race so much as the millennial vote because if you went to college, i don't they there's any millennial's in the room but me but i let everyone know that if you went to college circa 2008, it was just a four loco. this stuff before they outlawed it without the café because people are blocking out and throwing up like that wasn't the point, you were in college. but that was the millennial nostalgia for that, from your. i can't hear the words grocery bag without finishing it in my head full of money right now to the vip section. one millennial the room got it. >> that's a beautiful story. >> maybe 14's watch the show. >> why are you ripping on our audience. are they used as ponds? >> if you go back to 2020, nalley was rapping about donald trump because donald trump represented something that he did not have the ultimate white privilege were trying to act like you're not rich when you're rich, he was like, yeah, i am rich i put my name on a building and i think people who are poor was like i put my name on a building. it had that appeal. but if we're gonna talk about people i think hunter biden is the ultimate, he should be a rapper named white privilege because. [ applause ] >> that's great. >> he combines the worst of both cultures and he's all about hookers and drugs and guns but he has a healthy dose of you know who my dad is. he's the guy that should be complaining about and i think if you put on album i know who he would want to have the right a good calm about it because charles blow. >> blow meets below and he got his teeth fixed. >> it does go back to this sin that the woke hate that if any cooperation or integration seems a betrayal to your identity, it's going against the whole idea of a melting pot. we should actually be segregated by our identity. there's no way you can survive that way. i like it when i mashed potatoes touch my meatloaf. >> this is what, i hate to say, this is what lazy black journalist to do now because all they have to do is put racist in front of it and the work is done. and the differences that people will stop apologizing, they're starting to realize i'm not, i tell them what i do and some but he calls me racist. wink at them. 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[ ♪ ] [ applause ] >> seinfeld shares his infinity for real masculinity, the iconic comedian brings us the video of the day, discussing his new netflix movie on frosted with very wise, nostalgia came up for a bygone era of real men. that no longer exist, watch. >> i cannot help but wonder if part of it is maybe you're own nostalgia for this time that feels like another planet. >> of course it does but there's another element there that i think is the key element in that is an agreed-upon hierarchy which i think is absolutely vaporized in today's moment. i always wanted to be a real man. i never made it. but i really thought that when i was in that era, again. it was jfk, mohamed ali, it was sean connery, you can go all the way down there and that's a real man. i want to be like that someday. i miss a dominant masculinity, i get that talk. but still i like a real man. >> said why. but i also miss the days when men were men and women were not. but think about the unbridled masculinity, you know what i'm talking about. a guy who got with them all bromance is shame, a man's man if i've ever seen one. that guy i bet god all the ladies. how to beat a mom with his stick. the least manly person in the building. >> that's me. >> you would not have survived the seventies, would you? >> not at all. >> they would put you in a tiny locker inside of another locker. >> i'm barely surviving right now. i do like how seinfeld immediately said, i'm not one of those manly men. because if you watch a show the toughest person was elaine. and i don't think i can't imagine clint eastwood making a movie about pop tarts. but he's right, i think this is why comedy is good for people like seinfeld, certainly for someone like me. i would do the same thing where have the good men gone and then i have to slip my super and intendant five bucks to change a lightbulb i can't reach. i think you made good points. >> that is true. we are losing the ability to do basic skills. like i could not change my aureole, not that i ever consider changing my oil. >> don't try to do that, that's not a good idea. >> if you sent a generation z. back to the college campuses of 1976. when they have the time of their lives? >> i'm pretty sure talking about what makes a manly man is racist. i really do. >> no question. >> this topic came out of the sixties and advertising, and if you think where it was born right here in new york. a madison avenue. manly man, that guy on the horse, the guy in the car. selling all these products and establishing this supreme alpha dude in the pecking order of what you're buying is kind of how it started. and then it came racist. >> it's funny, you're right. what is being sold to us now,,, you can notice it. betta males are selling. it's the goofy guy who doesn't know what's going on, i don't know how to do this and the wife comes in the other guy comes in and says i'll fix it. it's almost like we can't do that because it's considered misogynistic or patriarchal. or one of the words they use in college. >> i think a lot of different kind of manner. i guess i married a pretty masculine guy, he fought the war. that's pretty masculine. was it toxic? probably to the terrorist he shot. i agree with you and i'm glad that he said but it's funny for me to be saying that. >> cleaned up. >> you say my name three times i get involved. >> we are fine. alpha males are good. we're just chilling, listen, don't worry little seinfeld we got you. we are all training in the fields right now. everybody got the signal a few hours back. so get the preworkouts together, our animals we counted, let's pack a mob. wives, nice brown bags, i don't know how long will be back. we'll be back. i have a truck with six wheels. i do. she is seen it. >> beautiful. >> i pull this stakeout of the bulls asked to eat it. i as alford toxic masculinity, i open doors and someone breaks into the house and it's my time to shine. and i don't have to express my feelings. you asked me a question whether it's christmas, my birthday my mom's funeral it's the same answer. we are all right. [ cheering ] >> up next we'll have prod if you have wet amd, you never want to lose sight of the things you love. some things should stand the test of time. long lasting eylea hd could significantly improve your vision and can help you go up to 4 months between treatments. if you have an eye infection, eye pain or redness, or allergies to eylea hd, don't use. eye injections like eyla hd may cause eye infection, separation of the retina, or rare but severe swelling of blood vessels in the eye. an increase in eye pressure has been seen. there's an uncommon risk of heart attack or stroke associated with blood clots. the most common side effects were blurred vision, cataract, corneal injury, and eye floaters. and there's still so much to see. if you are on eylea or a similar type of treatment, ask your retina specialist about eylea hd today, for the potential for fewer injections. >> while your idea sink or swim, tonight. plus pox. >> this is such a rip off. >> the product can be something new or improved on existing product, i'll start with mine, so my product is bf bf, blackface best friend. it removes blackface when one of the stupid friend shows up on tv or at a party. before use my handy new product and sharks, here he is after social work, how valuable this product be. i'm seeking $1 million for 3 percent of the company. what you think, kevin? >> i'll tell you that is racist. right there. number to, don't give up your day job. >> that was brutal, you have not heard my idea. >> i think the three greatest inventions are george foreman grills, tortilla chips and elevator door close button. when your lazy pressed for time. i noticed that the scoops do not have the hint of lime flavoured. you may want that. why is it a hint of lime. i don't want a rumour of saratov or a glance -- i want the limeys to scoop you can get, it's a product you can come up with. [ bleep ] instead of chips there actually cut up limes. i would've brought some but my doctor says i'm not allowed to go to mayor nieves. i'm asking for $3.89. [ laughter ] >> i meant. >> a load of law. -- limes. what are the margins on the products. >> two cents per bag. >> i have the marketing campaign. >> said no. >> here be out. >> this is why you're not allowed. [ shouting ] >> at least anderson how bad it was right out of the get. you want to be able to communicate the possibility of never what i do that. >> it's a treadmill, stay with me. but when you run on it incident view getting healthier and stronger, your cat gets healthier and stronger. as you can see the cat is hooked up to the treadmill but instead of it improved my cardiovascular health, it improved his cardiovascular health. and it's even safer cats with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. >> you have to work in the personal story that will target your heartstrings. my cat. i'll give you 50 percent of this. you just need to find a scientist who can create this technology and quickly because my cat is 14. >> listen. why don't you just by a new cat? [ laughter ] >> no! you're a smart man could have you've never heard of codependency? >> 14. >> i've been through everything with this cat. >> i get about 14 years old for a cat? >> for that reason your cat is out. >> this will offend a lot of people when you watch is because a lot of people have love for very old feral cats. which defies all logic and reason because he's not even a nice cat. >> a terrible cat. >> why don't you commencing i sell cats for 599 because these cats are gonna diet will make a huge margin. that's what i like. >> a lot of you don't know this but i had a twin brother. and when we were being born together i was impatient. and as i pushed through him to get out. apparently his umbilical cord got wrapped around his neck, it was not me putting it around it i was just trying to move. and as i was sliding past them to be first to get out a got awkward. because he cannot breathe the more i pushed in pretty soon i realized i could be the first went out but that means he's gonna die. but i love america so as i was going out it was awkward. the nurses figured out what i did. the dr, instant spanking me was questioning me. and then it came to me, wouldn't it be great in a situation like this if i had something to get me out of it. so the next time, and maybe if you're not killing your twin brother may be you're in a situation like this where someone decides to try to make you buy a bag of limes or keep an old, going or his creepy weird [ bleep ] he was trying to sell. if you had a little device, two watches and one can fit on either one so when you're sitting there and curing the picture just press the button on your watch, your phone will miraculously rating and we have operators online who will create an excuse for you improv actors, emergency excuse specialist, and what this is you want to get the hell out of a conversation like girls pushing you to marry her because you've been with her for 10 years and will pop the question. i would love to have a discussion, it's mom, there's a car accident, three cows in your living room, i have to go. did you hear this. and then if the person is sceptical, you talk to yourself. and that's. >> your story socks. [ laughter ] absolutely zero with a bullet. >> my brother died for this. >> greg: up next ♪ stay ahead of your child's moderate—to—severe eczema, and they can show off clearer skin and less itch with dupixent. the number one prescribed biologic by dermatologists and allergists, that helps heal your child's skin from within. serious allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. tell your doctor about new or worsening eye problems such as eye pain or vision changes, including blurred vision, joint aches and pain, or a parasitic infection. don't change or stop asthma medicines without talking to your doctor. ask your child's eczema specialist about dupixent. somebody would ask her something and she would just walk right past them. she didn't know they were talking to her. i just could not hear. i was hesitant to get the hearing aids because of my short hair. but nobody even sees them. our nearly invisible hearing aids are just one reason we've been the brand leader for over 75 years. when i finally could hear for the first time, i could hear everything. call miracle-ear at 1-800-234-7090 and schedule your free hearing evaluation today. toddler sells art for thousands. two euros from germany's being held a pint-size because of for creating its own abstract paintings first set in grand peas. which he blew on juice boxes. >> i feel terrible for this kid. >> being a successful toddler is setting the bar for yourself in a ridiculous place. >> will, what you paint when you are a toddler, i don't know if i would've made it threw i was a successful toddler. >> i feel like it's a statement on the art industry as a hole. i doesn't matter if it's any good. >> how do i know this is not a ibs. that's what i'm thinking. you showing a toddler sticking his hands up against something that may be was just computer-generated crap. that's what i think, the kitchen be arrested. [ laughter ] >> i was gonna say you're accusing a toddler of a conspiracy. >> absolutely. >> that's more valuable skill for a toddler to have. >> wanted to be great if you was paid with chuck e. cheese tokens? >> it's ridiculous. seven grand for a picture by a toddler, i've six kids i can give you a picture for free. as a matter of federal every a picture, honey. >> greg: joe, does it bother you that a 2-year-old is more successful than you? >> been there a million times. [ laughter ] the art industry are the only industry that charges all this money for their product and it's a child that paint today, a monkey painted it, hunter biden painted a. there's no barrier to entry. i say we still have to buy painting because if it's one thing history showed is that someone who speaks german hoop is try to sell art by a one he's younger get mad later on. >> we only listen to joe everybody wants super straight, super white teeth. they want that hollywood white smile. new sensodyne clinical white provides 2 shades whiter teeth and 24/7 sensitivity protection. i think it's a great product. it's going to help a lot of patients. what's considered normal for your cat is interesting. but if your cat isn't their quirky self lately, they may have pain from a common condition called osteoarthritis. now, there's solensia. solensia is a once-monthly injection to control your cat's oa pain. veterinary professionals administering solensia who are pregnant, trying to conceive, or breast feeding should take extreme care to avoid self-injection. self-injection could cause allergic reactions like anaphylaxis. ask your vet about solensia and help get your cat back to their normal. hi, i'm kevin, and i've lost 152 pounds on golo. i had just left a checkup with my doctor, and i'd weighed in at 345 pounds. my doctor prescribed a weight loss drug, but as soon as i stopped taking the drug, i gained all the weight back and then some. that's when i decided to give golo a try. taking the release supplement, i noticed a change within the first week, and each month the weight just kept coming off. with golo, you can keep the weight off. [female narrator] at childfund, hope means helping children worldwide grow up healthy, educated, skilled, and safe. and that means safe at home, at school, online. hope means walking that path together, all of us. hope includes you. childfund, because we need each other. [music fades out] >> out of time! thanks to ever ♪