Thats right. Thats right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank for your underwhelming response. Happu for y monday, everyone. Y d lets do some jokes. Donald trumps ex attorney, cohen, took the stand today in the hush money trial. We dont have Footagtodae Becaun cameras arent allowed in the courtroom. In the cou of cohenaget leaving and having lunch with your. Meanwhile, also in new york. The new play, coproduced by hillary, is bombing on broadway. [ all right. Yeah. And like her husband, bill,t shes not very good at filling seats. Do you know what that means . I dont. According to a shocking new study, many patientsaccordi on life support actually recover. So there should never be a rusah to pull the plug. Finally, some good news ford joe bidenen. In an from 2018 reveals that actress Stormy Daniels maw y be lying on the stand about her sexual encounter with donald trump. He encouleaving her with egg onr face or something similar in the interview. Intervie daniels insisted it wasnt a me too situation but stress for the right money. Shes up fort mo a me three, mer even a me five. Actor Steve Buscemi had his face attacked by a maniacn i back in Midtown Manhattan last week. But this is no laughing matterdk. This was buscemi before the attack, and this is him torlier today, a Stevie Wonder 74th birthday. Congratsda wonder celebrated b by his family for taking himr to the bahamas over the weekend. Kingdom of the Planet Of The Apes was number at the box office. In a related story earlier, o youll never guess who learned to walk uprigh walk upt. All right. Monologue time. K juni well be all right. As you probably heard, Rfk Jorr Claims that a worm once ate part of his brain. Lucky for hit ofm he recovered. And lucky for the Brain Eating Worm that he didn. T, joe instead. Or he would have starvedul to deathth. But this whole worm in your brain thing got me thinkingrtag that theres no shortage of parasites out there living off the brains of others. The most obvious are the Campus Occupiers of segway into seg ruining College Graduation ceremonies across america. Intoining co the worm needs hd these kids sound like a cross between karl and someone with even worse hair. Joy reide , which explains the united front amongts, anar communists, anarchists, blm, antifa, and the hamas. Also Climate Change hoaxers. Yep. Weve seen gretas new gig now since the globe didnt burn up like she said. Timeow will she get her screen time . But theyre committed. Namita is clear. We want to destroy the west tot and. What were going to offer you instead is far worse. Trueg stead is them. Its like replacing jon hamm with a hamm. Here is video of for f palestine who have as much in common with hamas as cat Doesorstine Wh i with members oh eaters. Anonymous. Mousbut for palestine. N i do have one thing in commocon with hamas irrational. They tried to stop traffic at Walt Disney World in florida ,where palestine actually died. No, understand that. Do you know what you are reading, people . You losing people to your god because of this . 45,000. 45,000 dead. You understand me . A little bit. Youre losing people. E to hey, you got yourself. But they cant think they gotu. A worm. Thankfully, florida turne hdn these for palestinkfe into inmates for palestine in minutes. Clocs out you cant arrest blocking the road quickly. If you arrest people for blocking the road quickly. And if these are palestine, i think thats bad. Imaginif theine what happen if they ever met hamas. Hamas loves to party with the lgbtq community. First, theyll raise the roof. Off i then they throw them off it. T. But thats actual enforcement. Thank you. But thats actual enforcement. Contemplating root causes. Shouldnt civilizationshouldn w be collapsing . Like Jerrold Nadler during a stress test . Rudeau up next, canadian pm justin trudeau, whose countryy is is pushing the online harms bill, which criminalizes they call hate speech. What is hate speech in canada, you ask. Its any speech that might make a protected groupe. Uncomfortable if that net got any wider, it could catch whoopi goldberg. Lunch. Oh. Iv so is this law retroactive what have you tweeted problematic stuff thats stillue out there . What if you once shared a controversial vided prstuff oe what if you have an embarrassingly racist photo Lying Aroundgl in your you happn to be Prime Minister of canada e . The law is vague, but whats scary is that if you are likely to reoffend butf , you couldlyi be locked up indefinitely. Going forward,ng all to it, trudeau is rapidly becoming our hemisphere. Kim jong un. Turns out the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. If your mom bangs castro, yup. Yep. And what if, as Aniticiz American mocked or criticized a canadian, could you be extradited to canadaed . Face charges . Well, lets try it out are on three. Were going to say, hey, justin, you. Jusone, two, three. H hey, justin, you ey. E no congrats, everyone. You are now safe for vacationing in mexico. Think about it. Could you go to jail in canada for Sharind Yong A video about a certain canadian shop teacher . Just for the record, that that whole thing. De that wasnt me. That was all cats idea and tyrus. You bring arrested a black guy that usually works. Come get me and go easy on catst is called anywhere north of hondura hass. Heres another clear example of a voracious brain that musttu be on its second helping by now an irish o eurovision contestant crying over the israeli contestant advancing to thenals finals. Its been so hard, they named you. And i just want to say that as talented, we are what the Eurovision Debating is not what i am. I dont even care. And we are. I come in nonbinary. Who knew Hemorrhoids Couldta Talklk now . Perhaps this creature was probably a nice girl long ago, b raised by nice parents. But look at her now. Shes go looat her nt more haten i do for fox and friends. Wow. E and now shes targeting a truly normal, Healtha Trulyy israeli contestant for being, well, normal and healthy from israel. But perhaps the biggest idiocy is that theres thinks blindat ignorant antisemitism is punk. N sorry, its not punk. When the competition judges alig ithn with you. Dg nope. Youre about as edgy as a stickf of butter at room temperature, or what joy baker calls breakfast. So is the brain. Worms continue to burrow their way into our culture and our kids. Just remember they all have avec common ancestor. You can call It Progressivism or cultural marxisomcestorm, ma, whatever it is. Youve got to ask, how did it get there . Mean, look whos acting crazy today and who isnt. And that should tell you you something. True. There are a few zanies on the right something that bubp from below. This Mass Hysteriaribut Th on tt is purely top down. It comes from professors, the medi a, hard left, organizations that have money and no scruples. Thi ons thatmones it, cnn, msnbc, Te The Washington Media Matters and the like. Thats why we dont have the worm. E dot they theyre getting it t in their diet. But us, we dont eahat t tha. But whatever you call the Worms Parents Bettere wo said quietly, especially on campus orrm, if you live in canada. In the meantime, as the adults in the room, lets take a lesson from florida and convey a simple message to these Students Professors and the media. And yes, the canadian pm, for god sakes, groe w up. You and your wormsur are destroying the institutions that madree the west the most successful civilization ever. And it wont Stosuilizatiop Bect eventually every parasite kills. Host but who knows . By the looks of this lot b, t theyre so inedible that worms might be looking for a better meal forbetter m. Yet around. And i guess we wrote an introhix him but his exwife took that too. Actor writer comedian Jamie Lithgow he shows are like jamies marriage is short in ugly. Writer and comedian joe devito welcome back. Shes thinner than jamies wallet. The New York Times Best Authorfe and fox news contributorws catches. And hes so tall he sees jamies kids more than jamie does. S jamienew york best selling ar and comedian, former nba champion derek. Jamie, i suppose. I suppose its good you dont have a brain worm because that might hava brai gee sympathy from your family. Oh, yeah. Its so weird. Its so youyou just said that. About just my whole life. We when i walked into the green room, my wallet and my Calendara Arguing over who was emptierrg. This disney thing makes me, you know, the big, your palestine. There are big you know, we all know like homos for hamaowos also. Very good. My problem is, wereth your blocking the exit to disneyland and hoping that i will Comsneylandping Thae and Lr Disneyland is very expensive. Why dont you help me out . Lp why dont you block the entrance . Id liki e to save some mone. I just really protest. Are always trying to inconvenience us. Right . I feel like if a you said to mes hey, i got an extra fast pass, d yoan the gossip. Ying to inconv yeah, its a weird place] to throw down a protest. I mean, youve got families, rd Ve Got A Fatheyo T that probably wants to kill himself. Yes. You got some Screaming Bratser Probabl T in the back. You got a wife that you know. What the is she thinkin ig . This is going to be a good idea going to disney world. That ladys Voice Wa Isney Wos the worst voice. That ladys voice ruined an i going to have tomorrow t lady. Going yeah. I love that you plan ahead. Yeah. 315, maybe. Thatll be a good time, joe. T little w little elements working here. What do you think . The overarching theme of brain rm. Johinks . Well, the first thing i would tell rfk jr is that shes got a brain worm, and yourelnior is. For preside. You might want to keep that to yourself. It doesnt inspire a lott of confidence. Confell, it was in a divorce deposition that an divd came ou. Somebody did that to him o on purpose. Not good. Yeahn , but this i thinki th what were seeing here is that this this protest stuff, its itsinere this is thisa front theyre putting on. This is just a costumet th theyre wearing. Cant spell hamas without h m. Yeah, thats true. These kids doing and im not surprised that greta went and Turned Likmae that that she would go from Climate Change to supporting hamas. I thought she was to hit nonbinary on the way there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I figured she would glomon the d that. But it shows you how spoiled they are. I mean, you see the princeto the Hunger Strike, they canceled because they got hungry. Yesthey they didnt know its going to affect the lunch time. So w iine have we have people who are so spoiled, they demand we cater to thei sr while. Theyre also demanding catering. Yedemanding cateris. So we cant take them seriously. But t think its a good poin that. Socialism with the things they support, it just theyre against Anythinge Thin that works. Right. And how were going to see the way this plays out because the peopled were goin do work e things to do are important. They dont have time for this nonsense dont h this and its n its course because theyre spoiled, theyre pudgys a little brats, and theyre incapable of doing anything other than bringing other things dow pable ofn and complaining. Yeah, its a they say its a slippery. It might have just hit the wall like, you know, i. F al of all the places get a worm. Not in the brain, but at least, like, eat the food that im eating so i dont gain weigh t like a tapeworm. What do. You say to that . I dont think a tapeworm. Yeah, i dont think a tapeworm would be good for me at all now. I dont think so either a worm actually would complain wouldf. Ting a kat timp so. Yeah, thats on tapeworm. Yeah. What do you make in theg wha Eurovision Thing . Well, i. I meane , not much. Are you. Ou are you mad that theyre forcing you to care about Eurovision Forci . Re i know i. They havent. I stil yl dont. Ad i want to talk about canada, if thats okay. Yeah, sure. Because i think therats okay. Eh things scarier than having your Freedom Hinge upon whether or notere a canadian getsed offended. Yeah, that is true. And the way that its been. Covered i think is just nuts. Like the New York Times was like. Critics say that thiw yorks cros the line into censorship. Its like the critics say that oorship. R is that what the dictionary says . Yes. You know, government punishing governunishing for speech, the government punish you for speech. That thats what Center Censorship is by censors definin of the word. And their justification for it protec is kids, right. Like protecting the kids. Thats what the government always says. Ohtiids. Ats whae rnment, kids. Right. That solution at protecting kids is never to treat everyonee like a kid, except in thispt case, with the addition of a very adult like no kid everve catches the charge for saying something untoward. Yeahcharge, can go away for a dy date. Its open ended. The thing i mean its weird,s wr tyree said. We always worry dont go to mexico because of the gangys dont go to canada. You could end up in jail. They could look at anyend up ofr feeds. They could look at any of our past shows and all of us are guiltyl of. I dont go to canada, and even one in canada was a great place to wrestle because of the history it ths but i hated just going Throughto Customs and stuff. It was jusry t it was easier to get into russia and which is not easy, gentlemen, but thes all this thing goes back to its all like everyones like, oh, theyre you know, to your point, theyre spoilederyone i e but theyre being fed. Youre being fed by us. Theyre being fed by everyone. Because if we treated these protesters like streakers in sports events. Yes. No, i mean, that i,. S according to them. We tackle them well, yes. The tackle happens when off camera. Yeah, theres no camerkle happe so theres. So theres a streaker. Hold on. Well talk about somethingr hold while we deal with this. Go and then they go b back to playing the game. So playing the g reason why Thet A Streaker every week is because theres no there bes clip. All this is for clips. All this is for good to boys to throw up on the wall they dont have to go to the Hunger Strike and its on the news cycle for two days. Its off the cycle no more. Were done. We made our point because weree just getting clips. All we need is this whole thing a Soundbitestting Cl and clips. L and if we take away the visual people who are on the fence or confused or young or enviousfusr whatever, they are not interested in that because youre not getting because in te that the biggestal you know, we talk about minimal camera time and attentiok, n is just too big a drug. Dr. Drew would back me up on that. Im not a doctor, but i know dr. Drew. Yeah, thats okay. But the point is the point is, i is if you took away that feed, i think you would see a dramatic difference, like walkink yod seg out of oh, theyd out of the graduation. Remember why we have to see it . Mmhmm. D they walked out. Okay. You ruined your own graduation. Oh, were doing that the nexner but to my point. But im. Were. Were part of the, you know, part of the problem. You know, that should be our new logo. Logoe. New l. Oh, and Stevie Wonder is a National Treasure to tread lightly. I didnt write my joke. Was it you, joe . Not me. And well find out. D m. Fire the up next. 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If you hate having a bathroom, then we have a place. Come and join us in san fran. Well get your jaw. Got your face high. They crash city cots after downing vodka shots. Ic. G vodk the city where theres on the ground is now buying the homelessa areg the ho. Get the next round. Step is getting slammed for f a taxpayer fundeord program homl that gives Homeless Alcoholics free alcohol. Alcs free four years,years. Although if youve seen their street, youd think they wer te chugging milk of magnesia. That brewing that brings bri back memories. According to the San Francisco chroniclnge, nciso managed Alcohol Program Costhe Taxpayer Manag as 5 million per year, which could have been could have helped builn d five desperately needed toilets. Toilets. Hour. Every day during specific times, Homeless People line uphn at a former hotel where nurses pour them, quote, controur l doses of vodka and beer. But i guess in a world whered jill biden is a doctor, bartenders be called nurses. Th the facility has 20 beds. As the idea being the can sleep it off instead of winding up on the streets, in jail or in the e. R. But concerned citizenr s so sure, like the chair of the local Salvation Army who recently called the program on x quote, its that we allow and pay for people to keep harming themselves. We should be encouragingeopl people to get better, not to stay sick. Well, sorry, dude. Not anymore. Staying sick idudes an identity. And how dare you infringe on a a marginalized community . So san fran is giving homeless drunks free vodk ga shots and taxpayers are picking up the tab. But again, as always, decisions are being made by People Unaccustomed to the lawssu, laws incentives, or even the basics of reality. Alcoholics dont go for controlled doses. Their alcohol likes, whichs defe is defined as i cant control alcohol. Whats next . Dealing with the College Loan Debt by making other thes pay fr it. Dealing with shoplifting by legalizing shoplifting,g with dealing with overcrowded prisonnss. By closing prisons. See the pattern here . , eand so if the solution for alcohol addicts is an open baris ,whats next . Giving addicts free visits to the bunny ranch. Which reminds me, joe, how you holding upw the feet or good luck. Yes. Wha what do you make of this . I dont know why anyone woult d obey laws in San Francisco. W. Now you get. I mean, its bad enough them. Nt enforce you actually get happy hour now . Yes, exactly. Yeah. Although, to their credit,sunday the sunday brunch, that is a bottomless mimosch thaa. Yeah, its. I dont know what else to say. You candot of an exampleridi ridiculous enough that this is you dontculo help people by doing this. You dont enable. This is likee you dont have Alcoholics Anonymous alt. T them octoberfes no. T and say, well, well trust them at their own discretion. It it just goes to show, like, its such a shame that a great city lik ge is lost. I dont know how low downhow lo they neew d to go, but i would o say having open bar for Homeless Alcoholics. Thats thats a new one. Thats creative. Yeah. Its the irony is that San Francisco leadershiplly need actually needs an intervention, not just the addictsinterv. Way cat. O is there any way to arguear on behalf of this progragum . Lfo oh, i see. . I guess. Ieic mean, if you are lik a severe alcoholic and you stopu drinking, you can die. Yeah, but if. I think we should all strive for more for ourselves than just sho being dead. Mmhmm. I also jus esthe message that it sends, essentially, is if you cant buy your drinks, that you have to you b the bar. But if you keep drinking so much, theninking s. Then theyre free. Yes. If you if you reach this levelon of absolute, then your drinks are free. And i also to know justntroll how the controlled doses thing really works. Workthere people telling wasted homeless alcoholic. No, youve had enough. Yeah. And then they go out and then what happens then . Thenwhat hap the go out in the. And i dont understand really how that works. Yeah, you might. Its like almost like one of those starbucks drink cards. Like youve had 12 drinks, so you get to drink for free. No sw you qualify as an alcoholic. Yeah. What if you, like, win and youre like, sorry, youre not as bad enough of an alcoholic to qualify for this . Why dont you go and keep drinking some more . Yeah, keep drinking. Then come back when youre truly wasted. I want you covered in puke diaries. Its like they cant a problemrm like a problem because its too tough. So they. They dressese its too t up as compassionate so they dont have to actually do the hard workson treating these people. I dont know what what you are cryingw about. , ha you know, like this is downvida on your luck. Youre having a bad day. N you no longer have to sit at the bus stop and just look at Everybody Else being happyg p and living their best life. You can go to homeless happy hour. Like thats pretty cooy. N o hom. And then when you get there, you can drink as much as you k asasp off a you can slee in a bed and then wake up and do it all over again. Ndn wake but what the real cool part is, is these are the most expensive nurses in the history of man because they spend 5 millionin on what kind of alcohol is this . Its like this. Some high en l is thid. But what do we got here . What are we doing . Is it gold in the classes . No what it is, what it always dt is. They dont care about getting people better. Theres Anothe Cout Gettr One Oe their Money Laundering schemes, 5 million. And they probably boughtf r. Ill be generous. 10,000 with the will cover it . Yeah, cause its not like the homeless guy. Alcohol. Kind of like titos. No, you better, gray goose, or im out. Jamie, are you mad that, like this wasnt instituted earlier . Think about all the money we could have savedd ea growing upe we just told them we were drunks. For real. Drunksits unrelated, but im mg to San Francisco and living on the street. I know everyones kind s of saying that this is a negative thing, but just neg to become like, to support it a tiny bit. Like i had a friento ort a tid who was he was a heroin addict. And i tell you one thing that would get rid of all the symptoms was more heroin. Yeah. And he would have they would all vanish. Us i think its good. Its the worst idea. But i dont drink because im not reallyi allowed to. Hoi its just a horrible idea. And its. Tell do you, david, i would tell you im allergic to alcohol. I break out in handcuffs, thena . I. But is this the story infuriates me because youre numbing people and youre medicating them. And also, vodkase is very harsh. And where are the mixers . You know, so thats why mee an and some people in the community, weve started sodad somee in for Street Peoplo you can make a vodka soda and we have limes fo vr lunatics. Thats going to be starting. To b terrible w sucht idea. I didnt think it was a real story. I thought it wasas fake when i first heard it. And then i did My Cursory Y Cu found out. That it might be true. It is actually. Its actualls actuy true. I just saw it on fox business. Were e. Almost to the tru im kidding. Im kidding. Im kidding. It is true. I wonder if theres any of them s a who put a little napkin over their drink, though. Yeah, ill be right back. Them tha napkino one. Lets go to the bathroom. What, did they send their drink back . Becaus what ify send theire it. Up next is stormy toast cause she blabbed to a host. Oh, i cant wait for this family getaway shingles doesnt care. Shingles is a painful, blistering rash that didnthatr weeks. Theres nothing like a day theres nothing like a day out with friends. Thats nice. But she doesnt care. Reactiv99 of adults 50 years r already have the virus that causes shingles inside them, and it can reactivate at any time. At any time. A perfect day foshingrixcts. Outing. Guess what . Guess what . 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Our video of the day comes to us from real time host bill maher, who dug up we an oldked interview with stormy from 2018 our andals some questions regarding her credibility as a witness in trumps hush moned y trial role. Its been shes a bad witness. Witness. Its quite at variance t she said to me in 2018. Why did you, donaldp trump okay, but you saytrump its not a metoo, it is not immune to go. Y it not i, i wasnt assaulte. I wasnt attacked or or coerced or blackmailed. They tried to shove me in the o me to box to for their own agenda. R own and first of all, i didnt want any part of that because its not the truth and im not a victim. Thats not what shes saying now. Hmm. Interesting so will the jury ever see this or will it remaino unseen like an episode of fox nw news Saturday Night with jimmy fallon night w . That seems gratuitous, but okay well leave it in. What is your take . Do you think this has any impact . T ai know anything about the lr see, im not a lawyer either. Oh, you told me you were. Yeah. Thats how you got this joyob. Yeah. It was bad when outnumbered found out they grabbed me out again, so. Okay so my understanding is that the charges are supposed to beth about falsified records and Campaign Finance violation s. Yeah, to me, it doesnt make sense, but thats what its about. D to be so im very confused how we ever got to the position where being interviewed about their in the first exactly like why sh thee even a witness at all. Really its between what happened with him and michaeits bt hal cohen whoe credible for many other reasons. Yeah. You know, i think thisll is politically charged and all these other things. Tht. Sheall that out of i why is she sitting there talking about the they had . I have no idea about sex. Anything to do with nothing to do with it. It dont. Everything is aboug everyg is t what actually Michael Cohen did. Tyrus, how was the . What happened . Like what . What are we doing here . Yeah, it makes no sense at all. Well, this is when whe youre lucky to have a black perspectivare. T all this really lucky times. Yes, w yes, wee are. Yes, this makes perfect sense. E theyre painting a picture of the president. He interacts with stars. Wit he hires crooked lawyers. So, yeah, there. And every time someone comes on tv and said Therey Time Thi are criminal theyre this. Thats their point. Thats what theyre trying tha e to convey to everyone theyre only wanted cross they dont care if they getse the they just want america to see this is who your president associates with he hangs out with stars and crooked lawyers and makes bad Business Deals and lies about how much is there. Just they dont care. It just again, it Goess Backksse back clips were all talking about. Theres no substance in any of it. But thats noty of that what t. They just need long enough for a two Minute Campaign commercialh fo. Thats all they need. What do you think, jamie well,to i would have to say that ifif he actually did pay hush money, i didnt work. Yeah, very good. Its, you know, you know, they keep talking about Jonathan Turley, but you are you make Jonathan Turley look like an amateur. I just feel like its all we talk about for him, i feel like its a worst investment than like a like ite a lap dance. I also dont think josh is a Strong Enough word for hush money. I feel like youre like, oh, hush now. Dont tell my wife. Oh, hushmoney. Oh, shoo, shoo, shoo. It should be like shut the f up money. I just think it should be more firm. I dont know. Shed say. Tal but dont you think they talked about the because it was riveting televisionabout, of course, interesting. And she said some of stuff that was not vere y. She even talked about his performance. She said he only lasted seconds ,which like i could cut that time in half. Thats true. Do you know how you get your poor name . You take the street you grew uya on and then you run away frokem that house and go to a and the gives you your name. H ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, thats so funny. And sad at the same time, kidsts dont do. Thats my Public Service announcement. Kids dont do. Look a it wont end well. Look at joe devito. Tasteful. Do you yeah. What do you make of this . Do you think any any of thisseem seems like its imploding . Its like this whole case. Like. The cr who would have known . Putting the crooked lawyer and the actress on the witness acd backfired, right . Yeah, actually, although can we stop calling her a porn sta . . No, shes not a star. Not even close. Yeah, she was a participe. Exactly. Yeah. I mean, you have to be pretty desperate to click on that. On h yes. Especially multiple, multiple time. Exactly. You know what . Shes wonderful with her research fortimes. What wa pup tiats why i put on my time sheet. There you gomesheet. What theyre trying to do, theyre trying to have someone go up and say things to humiliate donalsay thand tru, but nothing to do with any sort of a legal process. E problem. This is thdo the left keeps falling for it. They fell for avenatti, they felg for. L. My dan Michael Cohen and now they they fall for Stormy Daniels is literallyie the stripper who made them think she really liked them. Yes but shes just saying what they want because they keep giving her money and attentio t n. Yeah. You know, i wrote something down here that i thought was really smart hers reallye. T this is what i said earlier, and i forgot to say it or i wrote it down ther areedone actually prosecuting a crime done by their witnesthe witns. Its like cohen who didot this, not trump. Cohen was the one that gave the advice, created this whole thing, paid. Thvice. Ally pro so theyre actually prosecuting trump for what the witness. Ut but theyre doing it now. And everybody goes, wait a minute, its cohen whos i guilty . I thought that was brilliant. But now that i say it n wht. All right, coming up,p, all right, coming up,p, new york crime becomes a facto r. e someone needs to customizele someone needs to customizele and save hundreds with liberty. Wait, theres an elevator only pay for what you need. Every delivery, every, allery with phony allergies dont have to be scary, right . Flonase center, ms. Daly for nondrowsy long lasting relief in a century. Gentle mist flonase all good also try our Allergy Headache and nighttime pills. Nobody wants to put any roof over head. Its too expensive. And if they can extend the life of that roof and get five more years or ten more years, its a no brainer. What ruth max does is it helps people in. They dont have to spend that 15 or 20,000 on a new roof. They can spend pennies on the dollar. The Roof Match Product was a small percentage of cost of replacing a wolf. 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Enroll now every saturday your games on here we got the guy the swings harder the guy that runs faster hits further steals nasty saturdays on fox we got the swag the scoops, the smiles, the steals we got the pocket, the bricks, the threads, the wheels we got the slides protects the shovels. It speaks to the highlight reel. The saturdays on fox. We got no big deal. Wednesday, may 22nd. Gordon ramsay finds his next food stall. Top Food Entrepreneurs are fighting 250,000 prize. But this time, buckle up, big boy. Gordon faces his biggest rival ever, the kids team. Lisa oh, why arent you . All the happier i am. First team. Good. Im not here to kick your them for food. Stop. Were done. Food stars premieres wednesday, may 22nd on fox. A story in five words. Steve, another random victim,s tyraste Steve Buscemi, great actor, randomly punched in the face. Broad daylight yet was it lastts wednesday . Attacker is still on the loose. Do we have a picture of the attacker . I don be hat. And it was like in midtown was t like 11 00. Look at that guy. He doesnt look crazy. Its newcrazs because Everybody Knows who Steve Buscemi is. But there are way worse crimes goings news b on. Well, and theres a lot more. I mean, you hate see great actor but hes an older man. Yeah. I mean lets forget all the hollywoo old. Thed stuff. Hes really minding his business. It wasnt even like, hey, you and me, lethet even liks lo this. Yeah, let me just run by someone. You get in someones life like that. Just like that. Its attempted murder, all guy. Yeah. Hes smart. Hes not taking a random punch. What . What . Were. Hes getting attention. But i guarantee there is at least a thousand older white guys and white women who arentn getting camera time because the target is whitg camerae peo. Anyone who looks welltodo or looks as nice clothes on. Are fi jamie, youre fine. Anyone who notne, you know, doesnt look. I mean, no, theyve got to punch you and probably hug you. But what im saying, im making jokes about it. But this is it and itse scar a thing. And the scary part is, is thatyr were going to see more of it. Its just new york doesnt report. They dont report the crime. Dow so crimes down, but no one can walk out in the streetne and. White people are being targeted and no ones doing anything about it. Yeah, yeahdand no. Funny, because, like, people do not want to report it Becausean Aney Knoport Iw that the guy wot be kept in jail and that person will come out and then there will be retribution. Jamie, i heard about this and i first thing i thought is, why does it have to be. Buscemi whdoes iy couldnt it have been you . Yeah, yeah. S on i think america was on my side on that. I have such lode w selfworth. Hav i thought the same thing. Youre so right. Its scary. Br makes you scared to walk around, especially if you bring your kids or your girl or something. And youre so right. And ifinhing. Yo right was not Steve Buscemi, the famous actor, we wouldnt even know. I was also punchedemldn. And then they asked me for my credits and they were like, were just going to keep this to ourselves are. And you didnt do good at wants that at all. Jamie so, like t, no one wantsom to hear about the headliner from Rooster Teeth feathers getting punched in the back of the head yeah. Joe it feels like the, like in new york, like 11 p. M. Is the new 2 a. M. In some neighborhoods, its like you what . I think im going to head home as if i really go out. But you know, its like. But it is kind of like,t i dont know, you shouldnt be out at a certain time. Well, i think its weird. S is everyone saying this is such a terrible example of random violencebl . What if it wasnt random . What if this guy was just like, i dont know, like your work in the soprano wiurs. I thought it was a superfluous story arc. I punched him in the face because, look him. He doesnt look like the usual crazy guys. No, he actually looks like. Emi does a little bit more together than Steve Buscemi does. Hes pretty well. It looks like hes sleeping. S equinox. Yeah. So he should be easier to find because if he waequinos a filth crazy guy, theyre a dime a dozen. But yeah, that stands out in new york. Reg cat, do you think theres more to this than meets the eye that maybe not random. Maybe thats why we didnt hear about it till now. Hmm. Ntil nowi mean, either that or y didnt see a single i e. During the entir so, like, i dont even watch the movies and. E wa i and i know who that is. S yeah, he was a firefighter. Im just a good guy. Yeah, i do think he knows nowyo that he punched famous. Im like, oh,e i thought he just punched some old guy. A i didnt realize i punched the actual icon. The film industry. It could be like he had some words. Maybld be y hae he was like rusg the guy behind it at bodega the buscemis a guy, you know, g can you just get get moving . And the guy said, im going to punch this old dudeuyd. I thats what he did. You know what . I think we learned nothing from whrned. Yeah. If you students wanted puke when seinfeld spoke it, do it. I look back with great satisfaction on my 32 years in active duty. In active duty. I understand the veteran tions. To us in active duty. I understand the veteran mentality. These are people who have served. Theyve band they sdership positions. Theyre willing to put their life on the line if neceat t us andthey come they say, i need some financial they say, i need some financial help at thism at new point in t. Theyre not looking for a handout. Theyre looking for theyre looking for a little han my team at new day usa is going to do everything we possiblyof can to make sure that veteran gets that loan. No one takes care of veterans like new day, usa. Maggie, is this a manic episode . Because if you are, you know what comes next . I am not money for the i always fix problems and you have them. Im great at depression stay in bed barely move minimum Human Contact theyll find your instagram and. Make fun of yourself. Unbelievable. Do we have your attention yet . Is this the new face of the Great American race . Is this how you dance on the razors edge . Oh, how you find a diamond in the desert. How you beat the with this gladiator id be The Last Man Standing whos going to take from the rest of the pack. Whats the last question . Are you not entertained . The all star race from north look for sunday, air force one. We have a garage door that lift. So it went on and it took me just a handful of minutes or benders who were knowledgeable. They did high quality work. They wanted us to be happy with. The work done as well. It is a beautiful garage. It is a beautiful garage. Yes, i get started and aecom actually had ice works for us. Ice works for us. Heat makes it last year. Hot. The power of contrast. So you can rise from pain i see a john kennedy life on fox and friends. The senator weighs in ond. Its a super skill set. We got another clear foul. You its video of the day. Hey, hey. Hi. To to his Commencement Pitch made students cry like a. Peec our second video comes to us from duke university. Go tarstudents, where students d of Jerry Seinfelds commencement speech. Roll itenalked out of. So whats the Big Deal Aroundre4 40 people walked out orou as jamie calls it, a good tyrus. And that was it. A lot of peoplple doesnt kindds of tell you that this whole thing that theyre just really good anl t their cause. No this is yeah this has been the point my entire lastrs seven or eight years. But on the show its like the twitter verse, 10 of 10 , theyre nothing. But does it matter becauseng it. The entire world seeing it. So those 40 are getting all the attentio an, the the thousandshe that were there, like 40 people walked out of seinfeld show, 40 people walked out of one of his sold out, packed out wer arenas. Maybe they were going to a bathroom break, who knows . But let as not investigate. Just keep the camera on him. And the crowd booed him and again. You just say up. We had some streakers tonight. Dont evenom call them the righn thing. But you keep giving them attention. Theyre going to keep coming. And eventuallytionill keep they get numbers. Kat, his son is enrolled at duke. Thats sun i why he was there. Gt is that exciting . No, i agree. T a lot of what actors hads to say. I mean, this is a story only because the mediahad is i. A story. There was, what, like 30, 40 people. Ther 20,000 people. 20, yes. Twic nobody that was there evene thought twice about what is the centagf that . O very small. Very small indeed. But in a very small. Ery sm aljamie did you look did you listen to any of seinfelds speech at all . I did. I. As quite interestingspl . Did oh, i loved it. I bet he was like, why do they call It Commencement if did its at the end of the year . Cas like. D of it wa i would be. Hey, go really quick. How offended would you be ife you went to duke and then wan you and then they gave seinfeld an Honorary Degree like, youre like, oh, yeah, i studied for years. I spent 200,000. Youre like, oh, how did you get yours . Like, wrote this joke about how you lose your socks and. At the same degree. Joe any lessons to be learned from this . Well, maybde any les te were pre being dressed like the pied piper. That was kind of weird wherea ill tell you, they werent rushing out to pay their student loans. Yeah, thats whytheir s. They. De but i think they remind mepe of the people who get thrown out of a comedopleety show. And on the way out, they always say the same thing. Im never cominging. Back. Its like, yeah, we dont want you here now. Right . Ill leave. ,get out of your own. An youve ruined your own commencement. Enjoyou ruined yy yourselves. T bye bye. I wonder what their major was. They said we should find out. Now, that takes a lot of gender studies. Yeah. 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