[cheers and applause] ♪ >> greg: you sound great! you sound amazing. you are not flat at all. happy wednesday, everyone. so as america grew and expand nothing represented the promise land more than california. it was the golden state, endless summer dancing raisins music icons like the beach boys and charlie man son. go west, young man, was the saying, and true, we were disgusting sexists even then. but california was literally the ultimate end of the american continent. and of american aspirations. it was the mountain top. it attracted immigrants like arnold schwarzenegger in search of fame fortune and bentover housekeepers. but california just became the end of something else. true progressive policy just died. and now the woke need a wake. in lieu of flowers, send nancy pelosi a new bra. but it's indeed over. that big loud thud you heard was the progressive agenda hitting the ground like joe biden near a sandbag. and it was all thanks to governor greasy locks. our nation's weird bitter souls called journalists won't admit it but gav just caved to reality and switched political sides. and his reason is what we've known all along. the left's silly sanctimonious adolescent [bleep] simply does not work in real world. so how did we get a new newsom? today in san francisco begins the asian pacific economic cooperation con for instance which is a grifty way of saying let's spend money on whores and limos. this is something american politicians have perfected. but like everything else asia learns fast t guest of honor chinese communist party chair man xi jinping. i love his menus. a racist would say. but he's no slouch. you want to see how a world leader exits a plane? take a look, joe. this is how it's done. look at that smooth, confident descent. you get the feeling he's actually in control of his limbs. and without a spotter, too. it's almost like he knew how to use the stairs. how many hours of practice does it take to do that? and it looks like he knows where he is. not an ambulance in sight either. excellent dismount, by the way. i could watch that for days, and maybe i will. you got to get the dog to check him for fentanyl, if obama hasn't eaten him first. so with xi in town newsom discovered his inner republican and made san fran look like a place where people would actually want to live instead of od. you wouldn't believe what america's newist fascist accomplished in one weekend nthe dead of night pedestrian barricades went up to control crowds and keep junkies out of the streets, gone too is the graffiti, garbage and perhaps most obviously gone are the home lila rose. poof, just ike that, vanished. that's a lost buses to martha's venn yard. even xi can't make his own citizens disappear that fast. and that's a guy who's so far out ahead on labor camps that nike has him on retainer. you know, usually when people disappear from california that fast they've moved to texas. but it's weird that no one's asking where they went. and why it couldn't have been done sooner if it was that easy to do now. now since the homeless think the city streets are toilets, newsom wants to make sure the chair man doesn't step in a san francisco treat. and also with biden scheduled to attend things could get messy in the president actually tries to walk. if he falls in one of those streets he would come up looking like a six-foot tall baby ruth. delicious. so why is it that when a lib wants to govern effectively he suddenly becomes a conservative. let's ask gav. >> i know folks say they're just cleaning up this plays because all the fancy leaders are coming into town. that's true, because it's true. >> greg: ha ha, great answer right. that is what they call in court proof. gavin just murdered the left's entire agenda. so can we now get on with making our democrat-run cities livable again? sadly it turns out decades of progressiveism can't be undone overnight. in la on saturday a fire damaged the crucial ten freeway so badly it will be closed for weeks if not months which means every day more than 300,000 citizens will miss their botox appointments. the fire, which officials already determined was caused by arson, just happened to occur by a homeless camp. which is like saying there just happened to be a bag of coke at the premises where hunter biden happened to be staying at the time. investigators say it was started under an overpass fueled by wooden pallets and newsom was quick to say that it didn't start in the camp. but that's clearly a political move because the city has seen similar incidents before. the state has known for years that fires surrounding these camps is the constant risk. in 2019 a blaze started in a homeless camp tucked under an la freeway. in june 20, 2154,% of the fires responded to by the la fire department were caused by the homeless. and in downtown la, that rate was 80%. that's 8 out of 10. i love math. now, initially california's transportation secretary said it was very possible the fire started in the camp. others suggested, though, it might be california politicians lighting their own farts. but, of course, la mayor karen bass warned citizens not to jump to conclusions. and why? because yesterday, another freeway fire broke out in la in, yes, a homeless camp. which is no surprise, because there's hundreds all over the city. so i think i know where all those homeless missing from san fran went. and apparently they brought their webber grills with them. so, yeah, overnight san franciscans have seen a remarkable transformation and all it took was a communist leader to come for a visit. do you think there's anyone else out there who might want to impress a big commie? holy smokes. i think i just figured out how to clean up america's cities. we could use president xi like a human dust buster. so please chairman come to beening no, you can stay at my place buddy, i own a would being and most of the stuff in my apartment was made in your camps. then we can go to baltimore, philly, memphis, houston, chicago, dc. because if there's one thing a liberal loves it's showing off to the rechltdz even cleaning up san fran isn't going to make up for the rest of gavin's miserable track record in that state. how's that going to play when he runs for president? well, maybe we can help. >> his name is gavin newsom and he can do for america what he did for california. with him as president, you'll enjoy friendly people, fresh air living, prescription drugs without the long lines of walgreens. also no more walgreens. and say good-bye to filthy public bathrooms when the whole world is your toilet. you won't have to hold it in one second longer than you want to. act now and we'll convert your car to carbon neutral air conditioning for free. gavin newsom is your very best friend. brought to you by the committee to make america terrible. >> period! >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests! this anchor always rocks the boat, fox news anchor julie banderas! [cheers and applause] >> greg: he was happily married until his wife saw his act. actor, writer and comedian jamie lissow! [cheers and applause] >> greg: he's an expert in emergency management, which makes him a perfect fit for this show. campus reform higher education nicholas giordano. [cheers and applause] >> greg: and finally if she gained a pound it would be lonely. new york times best selling author and fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: jamie, how you doing there? >> jamie: i'm good, thank you. >> greg: i don't care. would you say that the hell going on in california right now looks better or worse than the end of your terrible and depressing marriage? >> jamie: similar. >> greg: sim sflar. >> jamie: similar. yeah, i've hated gavin newsom, by the way, for a long -- i've not liked him since -- my least favorite thing was remember when he told everyone to wear masks and then he was caught not wearing a mask. god, that happened to me during sex once. this girl was like we're all putting our masks on, and it was just me. the through ways in california, by the way, i don't know if you've ever been on them, they're say disaster when they're not on fire. this is like really bad. also, like a confusing message. they come on and go we don't have to shut down the 10, that's good news, but it's going to take months not weeks. and gavin goes, yep, that's right, it's going to take 6-8 weeks. and i was like, i think that's months. i think that's 1.5 to 2 -- are they trying to trick me? i don't like when people -- i was at the playground the other day and there was this little girl my daughter was playing and i go how old's your daughter i say to this lady. and she goes oh, she's 39 months. i go i think she's three. first of all i don't care how old your daughter is, i'm trying to be nice now i have to do some mathematical formula to figure out how old she is. but this whole thing did remind me of my marriage to answer your question from the beginning because they said it was a disaster waiting to happen, which those are the same words the priest used. [laughter] >> jamie: disaster waiting to happen, yeah. >> greg: that was a good line, i like how you worked that playground line into there? it had nothing do do with it. >> jamie: a lot of mine don't. >> greg: at least you didn't say the election was flat. an inside joke. julie what do you think america would look like if he ends up being president if you see what's happening in california? >> julie: he actually said he admitted that san francisco got a face lift. which, i mean, a face lift. after, you know, arson and fire and czech news crew was held up a at gunpoint and that's their face lift. i some day want to get a face lift when i get to that place but you ever walk on the upper east side and see a bad face lift, that's what san francisco is. like cat woman, that's san francisco. as far as marriages ending like san francisco, i would only be lucky if mine ended as well as that. i mean fires explosions gunshot and drugs sounds like the hun moon i never got. next. but san francisco is flat, no hills there. >> greg: not at all. >> jamie: san francisco doesn't need a face lift it needs an enema. >> greg: but it looks like it's had an enema. i don't know where i'm going. professor, how come it's not possible to teach people in california their mistakes. just seems like this stuff goes on and on and on. my theory is that the rich are farer removed from the poor so they actually don't see the consequences. what do you think? >> nicholas: i think that that is absolutely correct. look at the obvious. he comes out and they put up these heavy-duty fences. and democrats love walls and fences, they actually work to keep people out, except on our southern border, that's where they can't work. and then he comes out and says, well, when you have a guest over, you have to clean your home. it reveals what he really thinks about the people. he looks at them as garbage, the residents of california. they'll still vote for him, that's the scary part. but it was his marie antoinette moment saying let them eat cake and i feel bad because after this little apec summit is over, guess what's coming back in? it's the homeless encampments. >> greg: it's almost like let them eat urine cake. >> nicholas: or feces cake. >> greg: do you remember those little -- you don't have that problem >> kat: i'm a girl. >> greg: i forget >> kat: you always forget. >> greg: what do you make of the whole fire situation? it's actually in california almost a natural disaster because all they do is drive. and that is like the most crucial freeway for southern california >> kat: yeah, you also think that freeway not on fire is a great bipartisan initiative. because it does affect everyone. and the thing that's sad is california's really great in a lot of ways. i was just there. i had the best time. the weather was beautiful. my show sold out, the crowds were amazing, i had the best time with my friends. it would have been perfect if that lady didn't throw the knife at me. >> greg: true >> kat: all's well that didn't break the skin you could say. but it was pretty bad and she wasn't even in a homeless camp she was by herself. i think there are simple things that can be done. something like a knife being thrown could be taken more seriously. there shouldn't be multiple freeways being caught on fire before someone's like this is a problem. it shouldn't be that hard to make california awesome because california is awesome just based on the weather and so many other things. >> greg: you know, that reminds me of an analogy i came up with. california is like a beautiful woman who doesn't have to do anything, because they have the water, they have the scenery. so they're sdwluft, no matter what. it's like a completely brain dead beautiful woman. >> jamie: you're right, that smokes >> greg: that smokes. [laughter] >> greg: leak a beautiful brain dead woman who smokes. we can dream. all right up next pink tries to be cool blathering about book bans in schools. >> if you'll be in the new york area and would like tickets to see gutfeld go to foxnews.com/gutfeld and click on the link to join our studios audience. ♪ when you have chronic kidney disease... ...there are places you'd like to be. like here. and here. not so much here. farxiga reduces the risk of kidney failure which can lead to dialysis. ♪far-xi-ga♪ farxiga can cause serious side effects, including ketoacidosis that may be fatal, dehydration, urinary tract or genital yeast infections, and low blood sugar. a rare, life-threatening bacterial infection in the skin of the perineum could occur. stop taking farxiga and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of this infection, an allergic reaction, or ketoacidosis. when you have chronic kidney disease, it's time to ask your doctor for farxiga. because there are places you want to be. if you can't afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. ♪far-xi-ga♪ (swords clashing) -had enough? -no... arthritis. here. aspercreme arthritis. full prescription-strength? reduces inflammation? thank the gods. don't thank them too soon. kick pain in the aspercreme. all right. 60 seconds to draw the perfect gift. what's it gonna be? a bottle of don julio, 1942, delivered. delivered with drizly. gifting without the guessing. drizly. (inspirational music) - [narrator] wounded warrior project helps post-9/11 veterans realize what's possible. with generous community support. - aaron, how you doing buddy? - [narrator] we bring warriors together and empower them to become stronger inside and out. - it's possible to begin healing - to get the help you need. - to find peace. - [narrator] and as each warrior's needs evolve, so do we. because these last 20 years are just the beginning. all right, sheila, are you throwing a dress like a dad party, a birthday brunch, or a vow renewal for your dogs? yes! the right drinks delivered for any party. drizly. all right. 60 seconds to draw the perfect gift. what's it gonna be? a bottle of don julio, 1942, delivered. delivered with drizly. gifting without the guessing. drizly. all right, sheila, are you throwing a dress like a dad party, a birthday brunch, or a vow renewal for your dogs? yes! the right drinks delivered for any party. drizly. ♪ >> greg: thank you. oh, stop. pink took a stand against books that aren't banned, but the singer gets wrecked by a simple fact check. the annoying artist known as pink gave away 2,000 supposedly banned book at her florida concerts confusing her fans as they're mostly illiterate. the songstress claimed several times includings to catch a mocking bird and catcher in the rye are banned. but they said it's provening fault they're not banned: and the only ones that are banned are so bad they're on the reading list to catch a predator. but she still said the maga cult is mad and their panties are in quite a bunch. that just shows you how much she knows about the maga crowd. they don't even wear underwear. oh, yeah, there you go. he's going commando in the back row. but maga is the new catchall for anybody who proves a liberal wrong on the facts. of course she went on. quote, i wish i could continue cause y'all i'm just getting started but i got to read my kids a bedtime story about how it's okay that some families have two dads. that's so cringy i bet her kids wish they had two dads, too. but all this makes me think of one of my favorite pink songs, get the party started? although it sounds different than i remember. ♪ >> get this party started on a saturday night, everybody's waiting for me to arrive. sending out the message to all of my friends, we'll be looking flashy in my mercedes benz. i cut my own hair it really doesn't look good, i'm sorry ♪ >> greg: she has not aged well julie but you have. i never like saying celebrities should stay in their lane and stick to singing or selling jokes so can you do it? >> julie: i think she should never talk about woke books at a concert. first of all i can barely get my kids to read and you get them to a concert and you expect them to open up a book and it has to be about gaze and trans. what does that have to do about singing. same thing about taking to a football game it's not about politics it's about going to see people play football but i can't stand football so i wouldn't go. but a concert. who the hell is she trying to teach her children or our children? her children don't need that. >> greg: this is what happens when stars see the glow in their life fading and they start getting desperate and the best way to get some kind of resurgence and credibility is virtue signaling and she's really bad at it professor. what did you make at it? >> nicholas: they are bad at it but they want to redefine what the word banning means and that's what it's all about. books aren't being banned. parents are complaining that there's inappropriate books in the school library. you know, k-12 shouldn't have pornography, you know, especially we don't have lord of the flies in k-5 and so what the books they're trying to put in are ones we would never read to our children. however, they're the ones that did try and get dr. seuss banned and cancelled. and they're the ones that are having american classics be rewritten because there's so many trigger words. >> greg: true. >> nicholas: they don't know what they're talking about and should be more combernd the 13% of students that don't know american history that can't read, write or do mathematics. oregon just announced they're doing away with all graduating standards of proficiency levels. let's be more curbed about that and the fact that our education collapsed than fake book banings. that's what i think. >> greg: exactly. [applause] >> greg: kat you are in favor of book bans i was surprised as a libertarian >> kat: okay. look, i actually have, throughout the years, had issues with some of ron desantis's pieces of legislation as a free speech absolutist. because of that nothing makes me more frustrated than to see someone coming out saying something that's depletely not true because it makes it more difficult for those things to be taken seriously. she said to kill a mocking bird was banded diary of ann frank was banned, it's not true. she goes maga people are wrong. no you're wrong. like julie said she's handing out these books at a concert. that is really weird. to go to a concert about songs to get the party started and someone hands you a copy of the diary of ann frank. important book for many reasons but doesn't want me to dance. >> greg: what is it get nancy party started? she's anti-semitic >> kat: that's what you said. >> greg: i didn't say that somebody else said that. jamie you said that. >> jamie: i don't even remember doing it. >> greg: jamie did you ever read to your kids? >> jamie: yeah, i'll read to them a lot sometimes. >> greg: what did you read to them? >> jamie: i'll tell you what. i was going to read them, and i'll pose this back as a question to you. i was going to read them diary of ann frank and it just occurred to me, should we be reading ann frank's diary? like there's a tiny lock on there for a reason guys >> kat: my diary would be banned from schools. >> jamie: i was thinking could you imagine if you had a diary. we have good news and bad news, the good news is you now have a best selling book. the bad news is everybody knows that you think second cousins that are hot don't count. i'm impressed by pink giving away books that at her concert. that means she's doing well. like at my shows, i can't even give away tickets. to my shows. they said the first thousand people get books at the concert. and they said if anybody is not amongst the first 1,000, you can find one in the trash or on the floor. [laughter] >> jamie: just grab one. >> greg:. >> greg: it's so true. but this is what she needs to do, right? because nobody -- this is the first time i've heard about pink in screes true. isn't it weird, too, that you ban a book -- like if my kid finds out that those books are banned he's going to buy them. they're not burning them all and saying you can't get them. they're sort of letting the parents choose. then when i heard pornography, you could read it, i was like thank god that there's video now. i just feel like reading pornography? that's an instance where the movie is always better than the book. >> greg: i never understood errotica. >> jamie: yeah, then you turn the page and it gets weird and it all goes away. >> greg: enough of that. up next is it a crime to call 90s music the best of all time. my doctor told me rybelsus® lowered a1c better than a leading branded pill and that people taking rybelsus® lost more weight. i got to my a1c goal and lost some weight too. rybelsus® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't take rybelsus® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop rybelsus® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects may include pancreatitis. gallbladder problems may occur. tell your provider about vision problems or changes. taking rybelsus® with a sulfonylurea or insulin increases low blood sugar risk. side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. need to get your a1c down? you may pay as little as $10 per prescription. ♪ no. ♪ -no. -nuh-uh. ♪ yeah. oh. yes. ♪ oh yeah. yes. isn't this great? yeeaahhhh!! ♪ yeah, i could do a cartwheel in here. oh hey! would you like to join us? no. we would love to join you. ♪ there once was a tree lovingly made to look real. 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(♪) balsam hill. honey... honey... nyquil severe honey. powerful cold and flu relief with a dreamy honey taste. nyquil honey, the nighttime, sniffing, sneezing, couging, aching, fever, honey-licious, best sleep with a cold, medicine. >> 90 high school the best music? please explain this idiocy to us. >> greg: yeah, a podcaster calls the flap by loving the decade of grunge and rap. rock critic and podcaster rob harvilla argues that the 90 gones were the greatest musical era in world history. i know. during the pandemic he created a podcast about songs celebrating nostalgia during uncertain times and settled on the 90s highlighting the hits from different genres. that's how you pronounce it jamie. like pop to hip-hop to rock. he says he claim to the conclusion that the 90s were the best decade for music simply because he, quote, grew up in the 90s. true the decade did give us kirk cobain, school wyland and biggie smalls. if you're a vocalist in the 90s you just knew there was a bright future ahead of you. you know, everybody's dead from the 90s. >> julie: yeah. >> greg: just occurred to me they're all dead. all right nicholas, okay, there's a weird thing about nostalgia. nostalgia is basically a reminder that something that wasn't good in the beginning but then you look back at it as redefined as something great. it's like your brain is taking some -- like i love the 1970s bay area, and there's nothing good about the 1970s bay area. but i love the malls, the cars, the hair, the litter. what do you think? you love the 90s. >> nicholas: you forgot to put tupac on the picture, too, he's no longer with us as well, killed in the 90s. listen the 90s were a great time. that was my teen-age years, i enjoyed the 90s, america was at its pinnacle of power. we were coexisting well together. there wasn't all this animosity. like the biggest story was, what, cline to dance was monica lewinsky in the oval office. if that was the biggest thing back then, that's not too bad compared to what we have today and the dumpster fire we have today. >> greg: that means it's not really about the music it's about the era itself. >> nicholas: overall, everything, the music, the movies, the politics. >> greg: you know, you bring up this point and it makes me think, what machine were they raging against in the 90s? >> nicholas: they actually became the biggest conform sniffed exactly. >> nicholas: during covid they were telling you to put on your mask and doing vaccine songs. >> greg: how did 30 years of raging against the machine help? the machine got more powerful, and they got richer, kat. what say you about the 90s? >> kat: well they were huge for me. >> greg: really? >> kat: yeah i learned to warix i learned to talk. i learned how to use a toilet. i learned how to read, i learned how to write. pretty big stuff i found, i use all of it still. >> greg: that's amazing. do you have any recollection of the 90 dismiss do you look back at the music? >> kat: i still listen to a lot of music from the 90s. i can think of four brian jones albums from the 90s i still listen to all the time, still like 90s rap i do like nervana. >> greg: what's your feeling on nostalgia in general >> kat: i look back on a lot of things which is weird because my wife was a lot worse than it is now just objectively. >> greg: so there is no nostaljia just a painful memories with medications >> kat: the only medication i take it a stimulant for my adhd. >> greg: jamie is he right or full of isn't it how old were you in the 90s. >> jamie: absolutely right. i was 20 something. not that good at subtracting under pressure. yeah, but, honestly, you're so right. like you were talking about the bay area. like there's stuff i used to bump in the 90s that's garbage now, like cocaine. stuff used to be great. but think about how you associate those memories with that stuff, right? like i remember, i lost my virginity to the back street boys. we were all very drunk. [laughter] >> jamie: and -- >> kat: that is a great joke. >> jamie: thanks kat. i agree with them but thank you. 90s, when i go to a college party, when i associate music from the 2,000s all i think about is my hard life. oh, britney, i remember listening to that when i threw out my back. oh, kings of leon i remember i was listening to my kings of leon jam when i found out my colonoscopy was out of network. oh, beyonce, my wife left me to all the single ladies. yeah. i do think you're right though. it's like the association with that memory, i don't think it's really better snufk no. you know what it is julie, you pick a decade that you had the lowest stress or responsibilities in your life. so you immediately think that's the great decade because you didn't have a mortgage or a miserable marriage, jamie. >> jamie: uh-huh. >> greg: or julie. [laughter]. >> julie: i wasn't married in the 90 snows that's my point. nostalgia is you didn't have worries about taxes or impending death. >> julie: when you listen to music it reminds you where you were, i was definitely walking but i was failing through high school, i have great memories sneaking out of the house smoking pot making my mother have emotional brake downs when she went into my bedroom and found a bong under my comforter which was not me. i was across the street getting high. i would say i went through like a roller coaster. i was a confused teenager i loved axle rose whchlt the song patience came out i actually cried, when we watched mtv videos, i cried, i was e marshaled then fast forward, i was into heavy metal, like metallica all those really dark songs. then i became a country song, i was like a country loving lesbian almost. but not like a lesbian because i never kissed a girl but you know where i'm going because i was all over the map, all over the place. >> greg: you liked country music and played some softball. >> julie: i love reba mcentire, yes, and a little bit of sara bareilles >> kat: just through up reba mcentire. >> julie: i've seen her in concert five times i went from metallica and axle rose to reba mcentire. >> greg: that was about the same time you came to fox isn't it? everybody has to can listen to country music when they come to fox. >> julie: now i listen to nothing but the 70 snows good for you. >> julie: thanks. >> greg: that's all the time we have. same time next week, julie. and remember to keep a journal. when you get those crazy thoughts just write them down and then eat them. eat your thoughts. coming up, an animal jubilee to fill you with glee. liberty mutual customized my car insurance and i saved hundreds. with the money i saved, i started a dog walking business. i was a bit nervous at first but then i figured it's just walking, right? [dog barks] oh. no it's just a bunny! calm down taco. sit duchess. stop! sesame no no. archie! walter don't, no, ahhhh. ahhhhh! you're lucky you're so cute. only pay for what you need. ♪liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty.♪ ♪ if it hurts when you poop sometimes like pinching off ♪ ♪ a porcupine and you're sweatin' your ♪ ♪ next trip to the loo ♪ ♪ colace is the brand you need ♪ ♪ to soften stools we're all agreed ♪ ♪ #2 should be easy to do ♪ trust colace to soften stools, with no stimulants, for comfortable relief. businesses need 5g solutions today. that's why they choose t-mobile for business. las vegas grand prix chose t-mobile to help power operations for one of the world's largest racing events. mlb partners with t-mobile to advance how the game is played. and t-mobile's network helps aaa stay connected nationwide... to get their members back on the road. now's the time to see what america's largest and fastest 5g network can do for your business. what is cirkul? cirkul is the fuel you need to take flight. cirkul is the energy that gets you to the next level. cirkul is what you hope for when life tosses lemons your way. cirkul. it's your water, your way. my active psoriatic arthritis can make me feel like i'm losing my rhythm. with skyrizi to treat my skin and joints, i'm getting into my groove. ♪(uplifting music)♪ along with significantly clearer skin... skyrizi helps me move with less joint pain, stiffness, swelling, and fatigue. and is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. skyrizi attaches to and reduces a source of excess inflammation that can lead to skin and joint symptoms. with skyrizi 90% clearer skin and less joint pain are possible. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. thanks to skyrizi, there's nothing like clearer skin and better movement... and that means everything. ♪nothing is everything♪ now's the time to ask your doctor about skyrizi. learn how abbvie could help you save. ♪ ♪ >> greg: time for greg's animal friends, or gaf if you need to save time. it's a segment seen called anything better than in their primetime lineup which is true by the way. kat i want to go to you first because i always go to you last when it comes to animals. i hope you have something good >> kat: you said that during the break kat i hope you have a good animal story. like if i could have seen that in the past, some guy yelling that at me. i wouldn't know what to think. but i do, i do. it is he a baby elephant and i'm not going to talk about africa at all though i did go there. he's running around chasing all these birds, he's chasing all these birds, look, he's so cute, he's so cute, look, he's chasing, look, look, he wipes out. but then he gets up and he's embarrassed like i have to go hide. so cute he's probably been alive in a couple days or not that long, i learned a lot in africa. so it's crazy that he knows what shame is at such a young age. >> greg: it is cute. elephants are very bell gentleman, aren't they kat? >> kat: yeah, and they're cute. and when they get bigger they can trample you to death. >> greg: yes. generally at low rent circuses in eastern europe. >> greg: that's your thing not mine. >> jamie: those were >> greg: those were the days i had to change my name. professor i know this is new you never thought you would do an animal story but i trust you have something very important. >> nicholas: very important, because it gives a lesson about what we learned from the first segment of the show. so we're going to watch a video of a silly horse that's going to trot around and you have the cattle rancher there who is governor gavin newsom. and this horse is going to keep on going around and around because it sees the fence, because fences work. and when the horse tries, you're going to see the horse try and leap and try to get through the fence and she's telling the horse no, you're not allowed to do that and look at what happens with the horse. it's going to get stuck because scientifically walls and fences work. it's science. [cheers and applause] >> greg: objectively this is what you call proof i believe that walls work and horses are stupid. they don't watch. i don't care. jamie? >> jamie:. >> jamie: uh-huh. just now i realized that i have the same shame level of a baby elephant. [laughter] >> jamie: i have a clip here that's showing you, it's a dog doing an impersonation of any woman using a public restroom. [laughter] >> jamie: where they try >> kat: it's true. >> jamie: where they try not to touch the seat. >> greg: is there something wrong with the dog? jamie? >> jamie: well, his owners are [bleep]. >> greg: okay. either the owners are doing horrible things to this dog for a trick or maybe he has a spinal issue. >> jamie: oh, my god. whenever i have a dog like this i want to take my dog and show it and say look what you could have been. >> greg: he did go back down. >> jamie: yeah. >> greg: it's not a permanent condition. he's just showing off apparently. >> jamie: you're right. when my dog would go in pee i would go let's go inside, they're like good job. these guys are like, hey, feet off the ground. [laughter] >> greg: it's just mean. julie do you have a wonderful animal story to round out this glorious segment that america speaks about. >> julie: mine is also about horses but note political ones like that debby downer over there. mine is about balls and ponies. >> greg: balls and ponies. >> julie: that's correct. >> greg: i went to that bar. >> julie: a pool of balls. and honestly i would love to dive into these balls but imagine being a pony and enjoying it. they are frolicking in balls. did i mention all the balls. and watch this one pony, it's so cute, they're curled up and rolling around in it. i hope it gets to that point. and then there as a dog or a cat that gets in there, that was a little far her legs are not long enough. >> jamie: looks like they have a whole case of footballs. >> greg: that's what i was going to say, it's multi colored, there's blue balls, there's black balls and then there's white balls, so all the food groups are in there. it looks fun i would dive in those balls in a heartbeat. would you? >> greg: anything else you'd like to add about those balls? >> julie: i just love a good ball pit. >> greg: we'll get to work on that, put it outside for you later. okay. up next, does the qb for the chiefs always wear the same pair of briefs? 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(car engine revs) (engine accelerating) (texting clicks) (tires squeal) (glass shattering) (loose gravel clanking) ♪ >> a story in five words ♪ >> greg: five words: pats trick mahomes game-day underwear tradition. i could have thought of something better than that. he wears dirty underpants. he wears dirty underpants. julie i'm going to you first because you're clean. chiefs quarterback patrick mahomes says he's worn the same pair of game day underwear for years admitting he washes them every once in a while. do you have game day underpants? >> julie: i do not but my kids do not wash their underwear because i always find them under the bed and then they rewear them. so this guy's got nothing on my children. >> greg: oh, well thank god. i would have him arrested. [laughter]. >> julie: but he does say he washes them every once in a while which again is better than -- i don't like to do laundry. >> greg: no, you don't. >> julie: i just tell them to turn them inside out. >> greg: that's disgusting. why do i talk to you anymore, you make me sick. >> julie: no, i tell them to go to school without underwear obviously. >> greg: you're a good mother. >> julie: i am. >> greg: in case the lawyers are watching. nicholas do you think there is something to superstitions? do they actually help? >> nicholas: i'm italian so there are a lot of superstitions, you know, italians have the pepper that sits right there and italian horn. >> greg: is that in your underpants? >> nicholas: not today. when you look at it the i italian horn is one of the main things to ward off evil and they have that hanging on their doors, we have that at my house but not because of me it's because of the wife. she wants to make sure it's there. so superstitions i think a lot of people believe them. i wouldn't re-wear dirty underwear. that's gross. i believe in hygiene. >> greg: you're an expert in emergency management. i would assume there would be some unnecessary roughness down below with those underpants ie chafing. look i'm just talking as a scientist >> kat: that doesn't even make sense. >> greg: that doesn't make center city >> kat: no. >> greg: maybe it doesn't. who cares, i can say whatever i want kat. >> julie: are you referring to skid marks? >> greg: no. >> julie: never mind, then. kat. >> greg: kat, i suppose if you wear the same underwear at every game no one's going to want to sack you >> kat: no, i think this is so disgusting. he was like if i'm on a hot streak, i can't wash them, you know? no, i don't know. that is so gross. and women get so much [bleep] for being like into astrology. at least astrology never tells you you can't change your underwear. grow up. >> greg: that would be interesting if it did, though >> kat: i know some people who probably would listen to it. >> greg: psychic says don't change your underwear i think half the women i know wouldn't change their underwear, if you know what i mean >> kat: no. >> greg: stupid ladies. >> kat: okay how many women do you know? >> greg: exactly >> kat: i know there's me julie. >> julie: i don't count as a woman. >> greg: steroids. >> jamie: i believe in the superstition snuff what do you do? do you do superstitions? . >> jamie: would you believe i have a lucky shirt that i believed was lucky with the ladies. it was my favorite band. my favorite band, it was called i'll give you a thousand dollars if you [bleep] me. >> greg: i don't think that's a band. >> jamie: it might not be. this is lucky if he's winning, why not just wear -- i used to do the same thing in wrestling i won a bunch of matches. what i would do is i would change my underwear during the match and they would forfeit. very lucky. >> greg: anything else? >> jamie: i don't think so. >> kat: i'm just picture you writing that joke in a coffee shop, like everyone around you has no idea. >> jamie: i'm like, oh, i got one. then i can hear them, like, maybe not. >> greg: i just assume you wear the same underwear daily but that's a budget decision not a superstition. because of, you know, the alimony and stuff. >> jamie: it's a lot. >> greg: it is a lot. >> jamie: support. >> greg: should we end this segment now? >> jamie: yeah, when i add it all up it's more than a hundred percent of what i have. >> greg: all right. don't go away, we'll be right back. >> tech: cracked windshield on your new car? bring it to safelite. my customer was enjoying her new car, when her windshield cracked. 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