Transcripts For FOXNEWSW Gutfeld 20240704

Time time time time time greg yeah. Did you ever wonder how local news becomes national . It napped montgomery, alabama. A cityowned river boat tried to dock in its designated spot along the water front but a pontoon boat was mored there they asked the pontoon owner to move but when they were asked to move the owners were happy about it at all and then this happened. Mind you what youre about to see is disturbing. So if you have children in the room, punch them hard in the face as a diversion. Get out the way [screaming and yelling] greg well, thats disgusting. Appalling. And when im disgusted and appalled, i need to see more. Oh, new angle. Check the two guys in the water, make sure nobody drowns. Hey, hey, hey oh, my god that hurts. And then more people jumped in to defend the guy and it turned into quite the melee or what the irish call, friday night. But its what the rest of us might call just plain good tv which explains how this quickly went from a local story to a national one. The fact is, fights are interesting. Well watch a fight in some far away Parliament Rather than go to a Council Meeting in our own neighborhood. Especially when its set to heavy heavy heavy greg yes. See what i mean . But that cant be the only reason why a story about a Fight A Riverfront Merited so much attention. Hell, cable news actually took the local Press Conference, the police Press Conference, live. And thats including us. Is it because we think aunt helen in boise might know one of the brawlers in montgomery or are we just filling up space to help out a restless and bored and anxious country. There is no point to cover this story but everyone did. So who is the bad guy in this brawl . I guess i should have an opinion. If i dont, then im not doing my job, i might as well be bill hemmer. This makes him mad when i get home. I assume the other guys were parked where they werent supposed to be parked and they should have just moved their boat but they didnt so you end up with this fight. And because it was whites versus blacks, youve got something even more news worthy, race. Im sure if it was white on white or black on black it would matter less but it wasnt. And that brings me to another vital part of the story. The black guy who got attacked says it has nothing to do with race despite what his coworkers say and cops did consult with the fbi to determine whether it could have been a hate crime. They concluded it wasnt after again the guy who got attacked told the cops he didnt believe it was racially motivated anyway despite another person having claimed to have heard the n word. So the guy who got jumped isnt calling this a race fight why should anybody else . The truth is with anything like this there can be bad dudes and good dudes on both sides that has nothing to do with race. But the moment there are groups of a specific types, the media has taught us to see that variable first rather than the actual individuals within. Anyway, lets be honest. The video of the fight is better than 98 of what you see on netflix. Seriously, why have you not even noticed the Writers Strike . Because that void, the place where we seek entertainment, is now found in the same place as our news. News and entertainment are indistinguishable. Its like if my wife asks me if i have dinner and i say i already ate, but it was three margaritas. Drinks are dinner and entertainment is news. And the good news is people who get on fights and trains and planes and now loading docks, they never strike. Theyre always here when you need them. Maybe we should pause and give them a moment of appreciative silence. That mother beep bleep that mother [bleep] right there is not real. Greg the amazing thing about life these days we have e demock iced Entertainment One day you could be minding your business looking at videos on your phone and the next day youre whats being watched on the video on phone could happen to any of us. The most local stories could go national and we treat it for news when its really just chewing gumming for an anxious and restless soul but something to do until you chew the flavor out of that event. No Lasting Impact unless its you in that video and and thats something to remember. At any moment you can become news and the odds are you will, no one is safe especially in the summer when the people behind the scenes stop making up the news and leave it to the rest of us. And its safe to say i think were doing a better job. [cheers and applause]. Period greg lets welcome tonights guests she puts the fox in fox news, host of the story, Martha Maccallum [cheers and applause] greg he thought love is all you need, until he lost half his stuff. Actor, writer and comedian jamie lissow [cheers and applause] greg shes a woman of the people, and those people are weirdos. Fox news contributor, kat timpf [cheers and applause] greg and finally, black cats avoid him for bad luck. My massive side kick and the nwa World Champion tyrus greg . Greg so this story involves a number of variables. Youve got fights, brawls, youve got race. Whos the expert here on this . Kat . You havent brawled in years. All right, tyrus. We had a conversation about this last night and you had a very interesting take on it. Tyrus well, the first thing, we dont talk about how much the pandemic has hurt us and we saw it because weve lost the ability to fight. I think everybody in here, that was the worst fight ive ever seen in my life across the board. And i used to blame bad fighting on white people but my people showed up and together everyone was out of breath. You dont throw a punch and try not to get hit at the same time. It just doesnt work. That, and the fight was so bad that women were getting punched and everybody was okay with that. Like there wasnt one person that went on tv and was like, these men were hitting women. Because the women had a fighting chance. Like there was one where the guy hits her and shes like, did you just hit me . So theres equality, happy to see it. But, i mean, what has happened to us with fighting. You cant listen, when you are fighting someone you are going to say stuff. So there probably was a couple n bombs that went out there, probably from us talking to us coordinating our attack. And then one very scared white guy was like did you just call your buddy the n word and thats why he got the chair. It was a setup. But the fighting was awful and im glad that the man came up and said, it had nothing to do with race, it had everything to do with bad beer, no cardio, and just overall just laziness. Greg thats an astute analysis. I want to go to the news side martha. We actually did the Press Conference for this. Martha yeah. Greg is it because its news or because we just like gratuitously bizarre stuff . Theres hundreds, thousands of people suffering every day but this was a story because its just fun to watch. Martha im going to go with choice b. Greg yes. Martha i think thats probably, in our news Decision Making process, when i came into my meeting that mornings everyone was, did you see the video . Have you seen the fight. But i ask myself why this stuff seems to happen more often now and you point to covid. And im thinking that it has something to do with the nexus of bad beer, cocktails and not enough clothing. Its like when people are too casual, they tend to get into fights. Like look at what happens when people wear sweat pants at the airport theyre pulling each others hair out. Did this happen during victorian time, women who were corseted with large skirts, Scene Sglooings they didnt have airports. Tyrus shes right back then you had to slap somebody with a glove and then there would be an arrangement. But somebody had to go. Martha these people are not the best us and go Out On A Limb and say the pontoon boats are not the best and when they got handcuffed they were totally like yeah that happened. Greg i want to relive that stage of my life where you get arrested and youre like, yeah, just another day. Martha just sitting on the dock. Greg jamie did that remind you of how your divorce jean yeah, yeah. Greg you didnt see that coming. Jamie this really hit home. I now only have half a pontoon boat. It really was, though, i loved it. It was like watching mma where no one trained. You know . And youre right about the netflix people watch this more than i have a tv show on netflix, it took a year to write. I should have just fought tyrus. That would have been too short. Tyrus maybe build your way up. [laughter] jamie for the finale. How about the coverage on these fights though that had more Camera Angles than my comedy special. My favorite part watts the Folding Chair. Wasnt the Folding Chair there . The Folding Chair is the only piece of furniture thats just as comfortable to be hit with as it is to sit in. Greg it is true though. Why would you hit somebody with a chair . I mean, its like, thats a lot of work. Got to lift it up. Just hit em with your fist. Tyrus did you see them fighting greg . Martha theyre big Jerry Springer fans. Greg thats why it started. So, kat, what did you make have you ever been in the middle of a brawl . Kat no. I was so close, though, because i do have a show in Montgomery Alabama this upcoming sunday august 13th, tickets are available at the real kat timpf. Com. Greg why dont you have oh, my god. You should have both sides open the show kat i saw it trending on twitter when i was in the hotel at another one of my shows and i was like what happened. It was i assume a drunkle fight. I have a question for martha because we share a wall our offices are next to each other so she knows i come to work every day in a track suit and hoodie and i dont have a corset on. Do you think im a violent person . Martha i think it could possibly go down that road kat ive never been in a fight ever. Not to brag. Greg you have stabbed people kat no. Why does everybody always think that . I mean, nobodys offends these pontoon jerks, theres no like bail fund for these losers. Everybody hates these guys. Tyrus at least give them free fight lessons, the least they can do. Jamie theres actually a go fund yourself. Greg all right, before we go a quick reminder. I have some amazing Guest Comedians for the next stop on my book tour, tom shillue, jim morton, joe mackey and nick depaul 0. Go to ggutfeld. Com for tickets. Up next joe gets confronted by a doocy and the evidence against hunter gets more juicy. If youll be in the new york area and would like free tickets to see gutfeld go to foxnews. Com gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. Choosing a treatment for your chronic migraine 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting 4 hours or more can be overwhelming. So, ask your doctor about botox®. Botox® prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they even start. Its the 1 prescribed branded chronic migraine treatment. So far, more than 5 million botox® treatments have been given to over Eight Hundred And Fifty Thousand chronic migraine patients. Effects of botox® may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away, as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or Muscle Weakness can be signs of a lifethreatening condition. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Dont receive botox® if theres a skin infection. 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Tough questions make joe petty as new findings make hunter sweaty. And once again the bidens and the media play dumb about where all that money came from. Bank records obtained by the House Oversight committee, or hoc, revealed the biden family and friends made at least 20 million from foreign sources. Guess this is what joe meant by going green. Most of the money rolling in while biden was a veep back when he could still zip up his own fly. Check out this Handy Info Graphic we put together. Pretty amazing stuff. 8. 1 million from china, 6. 5 if from ukraine, 3. 5 from russia, 3. 1 mill from romania and 142 grand from kazakhstan. Havent heard numbers that alarming since abc bought that cattle scale to way the cast of the view. [laughter] greg that was a long way. As Committee Chair man james comer puts it no Real Services were provided other than the Biden Network Meaning Joe himself. Thats a new ad campaign, no Real Services will be provided. Pure play to play. Makes sense they dont want Little Navy Joan roberts to have the biden name because they dont want to cut her in on the action. Our very own peter doocy tried to get to the bottom of it by hopping over a fence to get a closer talk to the president. He looked like me when i tried to break into the Jonas Brothers dressing room. Watch it, for gods sake. Theres this testimony now where one of your sons former Business Associates is claiming that you were on Speaker Phone a lot with them talking business. Is that what never talked business with anybody. And i knew you would have a lousy question. Why is that a lousy question . Because its not true. Thank you, mr. President. Greg well, someone woke up on the wrong side of their life alert. But even liz warren can read these smoke signals. Here she is on another network. Look, i, i always worry about the influence peddleers in washington regardless of party affiliation. We have a problem with the revolving door, selling off their access to our elected officials. Weve got to shut down the revolving door. Greg kudos to liz for not sticking to the usual talking points, or as she calls them, tps. Laugh laffer. Greg i like when people do this, put their glasses like that. Jamie are you keeping up with the latest hunter news in alaska. Jamie yeah, i absolutely have been since i heard we were doing this tonight. Did you hear they think that biden was at some of those dinners with hunter and the oligarchs. They didnt have him by name but they said every Dinner Somebody kept ordering the T Bone Smoothie and they think that was biden. That question was a doocy you have to admit biden is used to easier questions like hey, you going number one or number two . To which he always has the same answer like how am i supposed to know . So much craziness though. I get like they said they poured through hunters bank accounts. I was like god i wish i had enough money for someone to pour through my bank accounts. He was like, i just did mine, just like that. I just poured through. He bought a car for 160,000, thats how much. Thats crazy. I never when i would get a car i would just have to wait for like a grandmother to die. I do have a pretty nice to be honest, you know, things are doing better since being on gregs show my car now has some cool features it has that thing where if you back up and you get too close to something it makes like a crash noise. [laughter] greg all right. Thats enough. You did like six. Pretty good, though. So, martha, it seems like the media is dropping the ball on. Should bee even be surprised . Now they go of course there were these meetings. They used to deny it and now they say everybody knew. Martha i love tappers question to Elizabeth Warren he says we all know there agencies no connection to joe biden and the money but what do you think about this . I dont know what the president Thought Peter was going to ask him and i find it very interesting that he was like, yeah, come on over. So he wanted to engage with him. He knows hes not coming over to say chocolate or vanilla ice cream. And, you know, he knows hes going to ask him a question but then he just wants to shake in his face and call him like a dog faced pony soldier and tell him its a lousy question. But, you know, he didnt answer the question and i had john kirby on from the white house and i said the question is the phones sitting on the table. Its not whether or not you were in business, the phones sitting on the table is what devon archer said bought the influence because it was the presence of look who i can get on the phone. Thats all they needed. So i cant figure out why everyones having such a tough time making some sort of connection. Greg its because they just dont want to, right, kat kat yeah, the way biden reacted to peter doocy asking that question is the way every guy reacts when confronted with cheating. Like i cant believe you asked me that. I heard you called her 20 times. Why did you ask me that question . He deflected it. He attacked the question rather than answering the question. Again still nobodys answered my question, i dont know, martha you can take this free one if you want, did anybody else in the meeting call their dad . Or was it just the guy whose dad was the vicepresident . Martha i like how they cut his pay in half when his dad left the office. Like how much more do you need to draw a line from a to b. You get paid A Hundred Thousand a week when dads in office, 50 grand maybe for a little while when hes on his way out the door. Greg thats hilarious. I just learned that now. How i did just learn that tyrus. Tyrus youre usually on top of things. Maybe youre slowing down. Greg sometimes they take me off those things. Tyrus not playing. You know, the prob doocys getting smart. Because biden can only see about a foot from his face, right . So hell ask the question 12 feet away with a childs voice. Hey, mr. President , i have a question. Well come on over. Greg like a 14yearold girl iyeah. Greg and then he gets mad. [cheers and applause]. Tyrus then doocy hops over and the president s like, whoa. Thats a lousy thing to do. Martha lousy. Tyrus the connection is so simple. Theyre giving money to your crack head son. The prosecution rests. Theres no reason to give a Crack Head Millions of dollars, under any situation. Even if hes the fastest Crack Grabber ever and won ever crack olympics, you still are not going to give him a million dollars. Youre not going to give him a job. You know why . Because he smokes crack and is going to rob everybody in the office. So theres a hundred percent the connection there. And you know why we also know . Because hunter broke again. Because he said to his daughter, you know, at least you dont have to give half your money to your dad. Well where do you get your money from . Again, im not a Rocket Surgeon or a lawyer, but this [bleep] aint hard. Greg . Greg There You Go Jamie tyrus is right man such a waste to give a crack head that much money. Like i got a crack head to paint my whole house for a dollar. Tyrus exactly. Greg you know what . I think we should move on. I dont like it when were bashing crack heads. Jamie sorry. Greg too close to home. Up next pens made an ad at the pump and looked like a horses rump. [cheers and applause] when you have chronic kidney disease. There are places youd like to be. Like here. And here. Not so much here. If you have chronic kidney disease, farxiga can help you keep living life. Farxiga and farxiga reduces the risk of kidney failure, which can lead to dialysis. Farxiga can cause serious side effects including dehydration, Urinary Tract or genital Yeast Infections in women and men, and low blood sugar. Ketoacidosis is a serious side effect that may lead to death. A rare lifethreatening bacterial infection in the skin of the perineum could occur. Stop taking farxiga and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of this bacterial infection, an allergic reaction, or ketoacidosis. Farxiga can help you keep living life. Ask your doctor for farxiga for chronic kidney disease. If you cant afford your medication, astrazeneca may be able to help. Farxiga mr. Sennas into nature. Professor kots into science. But together, we work like our senokot laxatives. To relieve occasional constipation, senokots made from the senna plant. Refined by science to be reliable. Perfect match just like us hmph senokot. Hi need new glasses . Buy one pair, get one free at visionworks how can you see me squinting . I cant im just telling everyone . Hey buy one pair, get one free for back to school. Visionworks. See the difference. Its coming your way hey hey its video of the day greg all right. [cheers and applause]. Greg todays video of the day comes to us from a man named mike pence. And like pences 2024 president ial campaign lets roll it. Hey everybody, mike pence here. Remember, 2 a gallon gas . I do. And then joe biden became president of the United States and launched his War On Energy. Since that time Gasoline Prices are up 60 . Electricity prices are up 25 . Joe bidens War On Energy is causing real hardship for working families, Small Businesses and family farms. Join us in the fight for American Energy leadership by going to mike pence 2024. Com. Greg you know, martha, why not just do it over again . Because if youre going to have the beeping noise, we know that you didnt hit the thing so theres no gas. Theres no gas going into the car. Thats why youre hearing the beechlth somebody should have said he was vicepresident , maybe theyre intimidated, but maybe we can do it worn more time without the beeping. Martha im thinking they tried it a few times and said okay forget it dont hold the button or pull the clamp up just put tonight the car and read the popup storm. You have to pay consultants a lot of money for this kind of ad, lee minds me a lot of Elizabeth Warrens, im going to get me a beer. Even i know, im from new jersey, i dont pump gas, I Will Go Out Of My Way to only get my gas in new jersey so i dont have to pump it but on the occasions i do have to pump it, i do know you have to put tonight and then you have to pull the handle on the inside up or else it doesnt pour into the car. Greg thank god he wasnt tackling a Sex Education issue, kat kat thats my question . Greg . Greg is it as bad as everybody says kat its okay. Of all the things to hit mike pence for, this is whatever. Its not so much on him as whoever edited the video. I would have made a phone call like hey, its beeping the whole time. Because it looks awkward obviously but i feel like sometimes if you have a camera on you, you suddenly get awkward. Like in photos, i forget how to stoned, that kind of a thing. But the fact that actually this went out to the internet, to me is confusing. Greg actually tried to add a court of oil to the rearview mirror. It was really embarrassing. He was trying to look for the dip stick in the glove compartment. Really bad. Tyrus yep. Uhhuh. Greg thats all i got. Tyrus just like pence youre out of your element right now. Okay, he is trying to be the president of the united [bleep] states and he doesnt know how to pump gas. And heres the deal. Watch the tape. Theres three cuts. So we know they at least did this dumb [bleep] three times. You are running to be the president of the United States. You dont know how to do this and Push The Button . And he never got out of a truck before. You see my guy with that door . He was confused. Because everyone knows his wife drives and pumps the gas clearly and he sits in the back in the child seat because this is ridiculous. And does anyone believe mike pence owns an aggressive red truck . Does anyone believe that . Does anyone think that hes driving around and whats the license plate say, hot rod . Come on, man. If he has a car at all it would be i would probably say white. Greg oh, why . Tyrus well, look at him. He was born with white hair. He wouldnt be in a black car. Greg you know, this always happens when politicians try to act real, jamie jamie uhhuh, very true. Greg they cant act like human beings. Why is that . Jamie when they try to relate. Like when he was done pumping it i guess he sat in the back seat and waited for the car to drive him home n pences defense though gas would be 0 if you pumped it like that. [laughter] jamie the price of no gas has not changed in 50 years. [laughter] jamie its funny you brought up new jersey and how they if youre in new jersey its always full service pumping and you cant pump your own gas. I always had a provenlt i feel like getting your gas in new jersey is like getting a prostitute, like i can pump it easier and cheaper myself. Greg you know, we moved this show to 10 00. Jamie oh. So you ever been pumping it and greg and what . Jamie i was trying to be clean and then i realized it was also dirty. Do you do this though when youre pumping your gas, if it ever says see cash shear, it might as well say go get your gas somewhere else. Im not seeing the cashier. This is over. Greg exactly. All righty then. At least i was clean. Jamie i thought could you cut the other one and put that in place of it. Greg im going to leave that in so you get a lot of hate mail iirks do politicians take their ties off to try to look cool. Greg roll up their sleeves. Tyrus yeah, no ones buying that. Greg yeah, roll up your sleeves, kiss a baby, eat a sausage. Dont get that confused. Anyway think i should probably get out of this segment. Tyrus yeah, you just ate a baby. Greg i ate a baby. Third time today. Coming up, Nervous Nellies soil their drawers and want to wear masks at home and indoors. Known as a passionate artist. Known for loving the outdoors. Known for getting everyone together. No one wants to be known for cancer, but a treatment can be. Keytruda is known to treat cancer. Fdaapproved for 16 types of cancer, including certain earlystage cancers. One of those cancers is triplenegative Breast Cancer. Keytruda may be used with Chemotherapy Medicines as treatment before surgery and then continued alone after surgery when you have earlystage Breast Cancer and are at high risk of it coming back. Keytruda can cause your Immune System to attack healthy parts of your body during or after treatment. This may be severe and lead to death. 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Sometimes after a big snack. You might think thats wasteful, but its not. cause even half loads use 80 less water than handwashing. Saving up to 130 a year on utilities. And with cascade platinum plus, you just. Scrape. Load. Done. So next time youre waiting to run it, just run it. Dare to dish differently. Let me be direct. Youre watching football wrong what do you call a guy in face paint that cant get the game . A clown sorry, what app was it again . No, no. Just give me a second. Amateurs. Ohhh sorry everybody. Directv sports central gives you access to every game. So you never have to compromise on gameday. Was that necessary . I was just illustrating a point. Oh. Get in the redzone with sports pack. Call 1800directv a story in five words greg story in five words time to mask in home. Roll it. Im just going to name a topic and, quick answer. Masks. Yes you should be Wearing Masks in crowded areas, especially during a search. But what about at home, when youre walking on the street. So certainly at home it works if you want to reduce household transmission. Greg household transmission. Does that mean like when you get covid from your house . I mean, youre alone. Jamie, youre used to that. I get it, i would wear a mask if i were like indoors around old people, like in The Green Room for cavuto. But what do you make of this jamie . Jamie i feel like its crazy. This is nuts. People do say like masks dont work. I think it depends on your goal. I think it works if youre trying to find dummies then they absolutely work. Im done with covid and the mask stuff. I dont know if she answered quickly and wasnt thinking but it sounds insane to me. In my profession it was awful we cancelled so many shows. Greg whats your profession . Jamie tonight, just speaker. Greg . Greg you cancelled a lot of shows, thats true sorry i interrupted. Jamie not at all. For a while i saw one performer the whole time he was on stage he wore a mask and it just kind of ruined it. He was a ventriloquist. Or was he . Greg we dont know. We dont know. That was the secret. Tyrus, what do you make of this . Feels like the mask is now another identity. Tyrus ive got to be honest. When you talk like this ti think you should wear a mask. Because when shes talking the mask might make her voice deeper at least it will filter out that annoying are you wearing a mask . You should. Greg that was an amazing voice. Tyrus its not amazing. Greg its freaking me out. Tyrus can you imagine hearing that . Good morning, how did you sleep . Help, help, wear your mask. Greg that voice is freaking me out. Tyrus thats her voice. Greg i know, i know. All right. Kat, did she say in iing that made sense . Kat yeah, i think that wearing a mask at home could be a good idea for some people. Like if youre feeling ignored by your spouse, start wearing one around the house, theyll probably start asking you some questions about your life. Greg why are you wearing a mask kat yeah, exactly. No one sees you theyll definitely be like what is going on with you. Greg do you think the Mask Companies are behind this, martha . The big mask. Martha probably. Probably theyre feeling sad because you see them all stacked up everywhere all the mask boxes that no one touches anymore. I think im just going to go reverse on this. I think im going to start wearing it all in my car by myself. I feel like if i do that i could be giving Something Back to society and i could end this thing once and for all. Greg yes. Tyrus greg, i would like to change my answer. Greg yes. Tyrus i think if you live alone or you live in new york city, you should wear a mask in your house so when you break in you can go what are you doing im working this side of the street. Go over there im working this side. Oh, sorry. Im wearing a mask bro. Respect. Greg imagine visiting somebody like that whos alone in a mask. Like the expectation that shes going to run into anybody. Thats like, i dont know, thats like jamie carrying around a condom. Jamie thats right. I feel bad for surgeons. Greg yes. Jamie because they were the original mask wearer. And then theyre like yeah im a surgeon and people are like, yeah right. Martha they also say that surgical masks really dont work so now im wondering why all the surgeons are wearing them and if i should feel protected when the doctors wearing that little thing. Greg i wonder if surgeons wear masks because theyre sticking their tongue out at you. Tyrus maybe theyre ventriloquists. Greg thats it. Tyrus or are they. Greg i think we beat this topic to the ground. Up next, can a spider in aisle six help men get their kicks . So you only pay for what you need. Thats my boy. Stay off the freeways only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Were reinventing our network. With smarter, more efficient routes. So you can deliver more value to your customers. Fast. Reliable. Perfectly orchestrated. The United States postal service. Pano ai chooses tmobile for business for 5g solutions. Because tmobile helps pano ai innovate, so they can stop the spread of wildfires. Nows the time to see what americas largest 5g network can do for your business. What . Is this even real . Sponsored by ipana toothpaste. Greg ipana toothpaste. Yep. Nothing but the best sponsors for gutfeld. In tonights is this even real, a Grocery Store in austria, i didnt even know that austria was real anymore. Right . Didnt they change their name . Martha no. Greg stop it martha. Dont fact check me. Apparently austria has been shut down because theres a dangerous Spider Hiding in a bunch of bananas and if the spider bites you could give men permanent erections. We go live to a local bar for reaction. [cheers and applause] greg kat, i go to you first. Is this story real . Kat i think its made up. I think some guy had an erection when he wasnt supposed and hes like babe, it must have been the banana spider. A spieder in the banana i ate earlier and all the boys are backing him up like yeah, that totally happened to me too and now herey. Greg and all these men going there claiming to have low potassium. Tyrus listen, nobody wants that power. Greg nobody yeah. What are you going to do with it. Tyrus most of the week, other than hanging a hat or coat, not going to change her attitude. Its like that all the time so ill just get back to ow monday. Its not goer anywhere. Its not going anywhere. No, actually this is true. But its not as fun as you think fellows. Greg youre an expert in this. Tyrus if i get bit by a spider i want to know what time it is. But they bite you yeah, rock hard you can cut diamonds but the hard part is it eventually will explode and no one wants to go near that. So all you guys running to bananas to get bit. Greg you know whats funny . I still like, you know, martha, im still hung up on the austria part. Do you know anybody whos gone to austria . Its not australia, its not germany, its this weird mix of australia and germany. Austria. Martha no, not sfleel where is it . Martha actually austria near germany, it is a been its own country since the empire. Greg i will aie see it when i believes it. Tyrus sound of. Martha not like Check Slovakia which is Czech Republic and slovakia. Im so happy i dont have to talk about the spider and the impact. Tyrus i think i covered that. Martha they should call it the Wandering Eye Spider and i think it is a probably scaryier to most men than a barbie movey lately. Greg that is true. Martha but austria definitely a country r put it on your country list. Tyrus ive been there, nice place. Greg whats the capitol of austria. Tyrus germany [laughter] greg all right, jamie, close out this show with a sparkling example of your whit with jokes that require long setups. Jamie well, first of all, i hope this is true or i wasted a lot of money this weekend on a tattoo that says here spider spider spider. I looked deeper into this, you get a fourhour erection. Oh, man, i havent had one of those since womens volleyball was in the olympics. Greg thats good, keep going. We have some time. Im not letting you off the hook. Jamie yeah. Greg use some of the material you think is too edgy. Jamie i thought side effects yeah, permanent erection seems like, it seems long. Seems too long. Like i thought side effects had to be negative. Greg you know, you bring up an interesting point kat you know whats weird is those arent very good jokes but whenever theres a subject about literally any other story you have like ten boner jokes. Jamie but when its about a boner i have nothing kat did you just crack under the pressure. Tyrus its the fear of the unknown. You want the spider to bite you and you dont want the spider to bite you but theres a chance the spider could bite you and somehow you could walk around the rest of your life ten hutting everybody, it might just be crazy enough to work. Greg you know what he has. Tyrus a kickstand. Greg no, when it comes to born jokes he has performance anxiety. Its okay. Weve all been there. Its all right jamie. Martha just say austria. Jamie isnt schwarzenegger from austria . Greg exactly. Its not real. Well be right back. [cheers and applause] if youll be in the new york area and would like free tickets to see gutfeld, go to foxnews. Com gutfeld and click on the link to june our studio audience. vo Verizon Small Business days are back. From august 7th to the 13th. Get a free tech check and special offers. Like a free 5g phone. Plus, switch, keep your number, and get up to 300 off. With verizon business. Its your business. Its your verizon. Greg were out of time thanks to Martha Maccallum, jamie lissow, kat timpf, tyrus, fox news at night with dreamy Trace Gallagher is next. I love you america. Trace good evening im Trace Gallagher, 11 00 p. M. On the east coast 8 00 here in los angeles and this is americas late news, fox news at night. And breaking tonight, several gop president ial hopefuls have agreed to support whichever candidate wins the nomination. But one notable name is refusing to sign. Meantime, theyre back. Bidens doj once again inserting itself into local School Board Meetings over transgender policies. And the parents, again, have had enough. But we begin with devastation continuing to unfold on