they were, ahem, invited to live on. and my people's citizenship was doled out over the course of years from not at all to before you vote, can you please read this? to, you can be president, but just show us your birth certificate. and nowhere in this country is that strange citizenship two-step clearer than in puerto rico, which is a commonwealth. or a territory. or, okay, it's not a state. see, that's the problem. i don't even really know what puerto rico is or how it got to be whatever it is. and do puerto ricans even want it to be what it is? honestly when i was growing up, i didn't even know any puerto rican people. the only puerto rican i had ever heard of was juan epstein from welcome back cotter and he was part jewish. it's my fault i don't know about puerto rico and its people because they certainly made an impact in america. like supreme court justice sonia soto mayor. rosie perez to j-lo to ricky martin.