Transcripts For CSPAN3 Rita 20240703

This evening. Were happy to welcome dr. Rita roberts, who is a professor of history and Africana Studies and the Nathaniel Stevenson chair in history and biography at Scripps College all the way in california. She teaches courses on the history of early united states, 16th through 21st century africanamerican history, african diaspora, black intellectuals and the politics of race and the modern civil rights movement. She holds a masters degree and ph. D. In history from the university of california, berkeley. This evening, she will be discussing about her book. I cant wrap it up in there. Its on the screen here. I thought it was up there. I cant wait to call you my wife. All right. African american letters of love and family in the civil war era. This book illuminates the struggles of africanamericans who spent the civil war trying to hold their Families Together through letters, family, family members exchanged despite harsh laws against literacy and brutal practices of of separating families. This work explores how africanamericans found ways to write to each other against all odds. So without further ado, please join me in welcoming our author. Thank you, gavin. I am so delighted to be here. This is one of my favorite research places, i have to tell you. And i want to thank olivia, who has been so instrumental in coordinating all of this. And heather rockwood. I dont know if ive met heather yet, but weve met on email and others who helped put this whole event together. Thank you all. And especially i want to thank my dear friend katherine al gore, who is the president of the message, whos this Historical Society for her support and long lasting friendship and its exciting to visit with you and with andrew, your significant other who is a good friend from scripps. We met there and have retained our friendship. Im so delighted to be here. So gavin has told you pretty much what my book is about. I was going to talk about that. So i just want to stress that this book challenges the notion that africanamericans had a monolithic experience. Its really important that we know that because so Many Americans have a very slight understanding of africanamerican experience. Doesnt matter their ethnicity or color, just a very poor understanding. And certainly they do know anything. Its very one dimensional. And so i challenge that notion that African American experience was one dimensional. It is multidimensional. It depended upon where one lived. It depended upon where, whether one was free or enslaved, whether one was enslaved on a large plantation or in an urban area, or in louisiana or in the upper south. So much depended upon where one lived in terms of what their experience was. And of course, whether one was enslaved or free. So the experience is not monolithic. And i try to stress that in the book and what i do try to also make sure is, is that everyone who is mentioned in this book that African Americans demonstrate a large number of them demonstrate theyre determination to live their lives with purpose and with dignity as far as whats possible, even in oppressive circumstances. And so i wanted to make sure that this book would tell their story in their own words. I really think that thats important. So i wrote the book. People ask me all the time, well, why did you write this book . Because i have been doing other things. I tend to focus on free blacks mostly, and im im writing this big, huge project of free blacks in the south, in the upper south mainly, but in sort of using one family and trying to tell the whole story of free blacks from the mid17th century, which is very rare to know that there were free blacks in the mid 17th century. Virginia, of course. And try to trace their lives all the way to the late 19th century. And just to see how they navigate the racial terrain. But more than that, to see how they lived their lives and how they managed to do that. And im depending upon youre probably wondering what my sources would be. Property records, because these individuals were were not sure where they actually slaves or not, but they were treated like indentured servants. They were given land actually, when they finished their service after seven years, some ten depending upon the stipulations in the contract. So im trying to sort of trace that and its not easy. Its taking me a long time. So i was working on that and ive been working on that. But in the meantime, ive been asked so many times to give a talk about, quote, africanamerican history to all kinds of organizations. For example, the National Colored Womens Association and chaka invited me to speak at their regional talk in san gabriel, california, and talk about africanamerican history. Well, its a big topic. How do you do that . So i started narrowing down on sort of how do you tell people a little bit, give them information, fill in some gaps of their knowledge of history and. You know, not be to try not to be too didactic. So how do you do that to a general audience and audience . Often professional people, but still without knowledge of history. And so i thought, ill do what i do with my students. Ill read documents, ill pass them out, have them read them. So i started doing that. And catherine is a historian, knows thats one of our devices to get students thinking and talking and so i did the same thing. And so i started using letters and i continue to be invited to organizations all over california and so i just thought, okay, im going to ite a book. Im just going to get this book out because i keep keep, you know, sort of writing this book in my head. So ill just do that. So i decided to write a book and i was going to rely mainly on letters, which is what i managed to do and tell the story of africanamerican experience. And i chose the civil war era because the civil war intrigues me. Its a fascinating period in american history, and you all know that were still fighting the war in some ways, right . The war is very much with us. So im mainly a 19th century historian, so it made sense that i would focus on the civil war and naively, i thought it would be a really Quick Research project. Five years, ill do this in five years, and then ill get back to my real work. Right. Ill get back to that and i can continue to do the other as well. All i needed to do was synthesize my own work, synthesize the work of my colleagues, and voila, there would be a book. Well. I found that its not easy to find a commercial press. I wanted a commercial press because i wanted to be able to use images that University Presses tend not to have the money for or the interest in. And i wanted the images. And if you know anything about this book, if youve read the book at all, youve seen there are lots of photographs. I found a press that wanted 75 foot wanted demanding that they have 75 photographs. I thought, wow, you know, this is the press for me. But it wasnt easy finding this press. First i found out and i shouldve known this entry. You could have told me this. You need an agent. You just cant write to a commercial press and think that theyre going to talk to you. Who are you . You may be an academic, but you know. So i guess i started looking for an agent and i sent my manuscript. They said, let me read. And too scholarly, too much. All those footnotes. This is not my goal. So. I decided, okay, im, im going to. Figure out what i can do to make a an agent, really find my book, appeal. I had already started doing the research. 2012 a good friend of mine told me, you need to go to the massachusetts Historical Society and read John Washington letters. I was here summer of 2012, already knew my title after reading John Washingtons letters. John writes in his letter to any gordon, his fiancee. I cant wait to call you my write my wife. I cant wait to call you my wife. Shes writing to him and ill ill tell you a little bit more about it later. And hes trying to defend himself. Hes sort of letting her know, i really do love you right. So in 2012, i started this project and at the same time, i was teaching mostly full time coordinating program. Mellon mays undergraduate fellowship started it coordinated it, so ten years later, two years with covid. Archives are all closed, including yours, im sure most of the archives were closed for two years, so i had collected quite a few letters. Many of them were published, some from archives, some on, some already digitized. And all of this just took much longer than i. You know, just being totally unrealistic. So originally i had 500 pages or more. I had two major i had six chapters. And i think, you know, the agents just thought this is just way too much. I said i wrote very clearly, i want this to appeal to the general public. And i think they thought, you know, shes on another planet somewhere. So i kept sending it out, took a long time, but i found a perfect agent. So supportive. She called me up during covid and said, i hope you havent signed with anyone. And i said, oh, no, no, no. Once. And she said, i loved your book. And so we talked. And she decided to represent me. And then i think it was around may 2020 or 2020, when ive lost covid is sort of first my mind. I dont know about your brain, right . I cant remember exactly when things happened. I contacted my agent and i said, im going to cut this book in half. She was shocked and i wasnt sure. Well, maybe i shouldnt do this, you know . Her response was one of disbelief. And she said, are you sure . And i said, well, i think its due diffuse. I think i really need to narrow down. I had public and then i had private letters. So two chapters, each of public and private. Six, six altogether divided in antebellum civil war and then postcivil war. And then i thought, let me just make it more focused on the private letters and focus on family and thats what i did. And i got a publisher really quickly. So obviously i was on the right track. So the title again was one that i had always known was was going to be important because i have to tell you, i was sitting in the massachusetts Historical Society Archival Library. Where is it . Downstairs. Yeah. Okay. And have you been here for a while . And. And i was reading these letters and i looked up and i just wanted to shout. And those of you who have actually studied in an Archival Library know that no one is interested in your work. They could care less if you found your title. They dont want to hear it. Theyve got their own project. And i was just looking around thinking my title, ive got my, you know, but no one cared. But anyway, so when John Washington says, i cant wait to call you my wife. This title resonates so much with enslaved African American experience in most African Americans were enslaved for million in 1860. The best majority were enslaved. So we need to understand what slavery is. Slavery essentially means one human being or an institution, a school, a university, a church owns another human being or several human beings. So that human beings, it means are commodities. They can be bought, sold, auction, traded. Passed down in wills. Inherited. And the american legal system ensured that slaves were more property than human in law. In law. So the american legal system not only ensured that enslaved individuals were more property, they ensured that enslaved individuals were kin, less kin looseness and racial slavery defined the american slave system. Enslaved individuals had no formal power over themselves. Their children, their wives, husbands. They could not direct at all. What was happening to their own children . Babies, teenagers . The slaveholder had complete control, so they couldnt protect their children. They couldnt provide for the welfare of their children. And slave codes. And every state forbid the legitimization of marriage or balance marital bonds. So we need to understand that. So this meant that slaves could be sold, traded and so on. Youre not breaking a contract if you can do so. So it wouldnt interfere with the profits. A slave owners. So when John Washington says perhaps unwittingly, i cant wait to call you my wife, unwilling only he might be challenging. He definitely is challenging the system that denies the legitimacy of family. And in this way, he reflects in many other ways he does not. But in this way, he reflects the experience of most enslaved people. So the letters show that africanamericans in slavery consistently rejected the fundamental nature of the slave system, that they were more commodity than human. And they did this in so many ways and in estab destroying family was one of the primary ways. They refused to allow a system to deny them a basic universal expression of humanity, which is forming family, engaged in courting, forming communities. They did so without legal sense sanction. So they challenged this notion that they were more property than human. This is a primary form. Form of resistance that enslaved people engaged in throughout the entire period of enslavement. And so the evidence is definitely in the correspondence. Its there writ large. And they show that africanamericans, as far as possible, engaged in monogamous relationships. They assumed that their relationship would be permanent as far as possible, although the threat of sale held over the heads of every enslaved person, child and adult, they were aware of the precariousness of their relations. But at the same time, they persisted in this in these relationships, because, again, this is part of the expression of who they were as human beings. So just a few examples. I will show you. And then leave it up to you to ask me questions. We see in this exchange between adam and Emily Plummer, are you havent been looking at the book. Lets go back to the book just once. Dont you love that . I love that cover. I fell in love with that cover. Okay. So adam and Emily Plummer are azing. Couple. They write back and forth to one in one another. Excuse me. Eyre on two different plantations in slaveholders tended to like their slaves on dierent plantations. And i adam knowsowo read barely and write barely. Emily is illiterate, and at firsheslave holder is writing for her. And then she has a good friend as a seamstrs d a wte woman who writes for her, and then at the end, it looks like shes actually writing for herself. Its fascinating just to read. And there are many more letters. I just included a few just for a glimpse of of African American life in slavery. And so, emily is moved and then moved again and then moved again. Adam is in a rather stable slave holding family. Hes with the calvert family in maryland. And thats pretty stable. Lots of money. And you. Your fear is, is that the slave holders going to lose money or are moved to mississippis separate family or any number of things can happen, die was one of the main reasons that enslaved people were always, you know, wondering whats going to happen to me, whats going to happen to my children and to my spouse. And so emily is moved and then shes moved again. And they theyre exchange letters. So evidently adam had written her i dont have this letter, but adam must have written to her and said something about he was in despair that he just didnt know they could go on. Emily, april 20, 1856, writes back, wa you to tell me why you wrote me so troubled in the letter. I was very sorry to hear that you should say thayoand i are parted for life, and a very troubled that it and she had good reason because many times enslaved people were aware that their slaveholder would want them to marry someone else. Mary in terms of producing more children. And so shes kind of not sure whats happening. And then she signs it again. The form formality of 19th century letter writing is so precious. Your affectionate wife, shes saying all these things, your fiction. Why . Sodam writes back, and you know, you have to read through the lines this is just cerpt. Hes basically telling her, i didnt intend to for you to be upset. He said the same day in the morning that i was inng about you in my heart. A few minutes, a little boy ca and brought your letter and he said, i received it with open nds and joyful heart, and you are mistaken, and that i wish to to be with you and the children. And their letters are like this throughout. They are constantly keeping abreast of whats going on. Emily has most of the children. Two of the children are separate. One of the older one is the the oldest child is is sent various places, but not too far. And the younger child is left behind when emily is forced to move. Eventually, they move the emily and her children move. So far away that adams slave holder allows him to catch a train to be, you know, and then he travels and by foot walks to see miles and miles, to see his wife and children. The family wasnt central. And i do not understand the english language right. So. Harriet newby is another example. Dangerfield newby. Can we keep the image on the not on me, but on the on the slides . Dangerfield newby was owned by his whites slaveholding father, and he was the child of the concubine. Theyre called. Oh, sorry. He was. He hes the child of the. Of the concubine. Or we wont say slave mistress, because the mistress was usually the wife, the white wife. And danger filled newbies. Father decided that they would all move to ohio in the 1840s and fifties. Dangerfield was an an adult. He had a wife and he had children. They had all been slaves. The wife of course, was not owned by Dangerfield Newby slave holder. And so harriet is left with the children. Dangerfield is determined that he is going to raise the money by hook or crook, working as hard as he can. Hes in ohio. Hes free. Hes hoping that he can raise the money. He gets about 700, 750, but its not enough, not even to pay for his wife, let alone the children. So she is writing to him all the time, telling him, i thought, i never should see you on this earth. No terms for me. And she keeps telling him, you have to come get me. And shes letting him know that possibly shes going to be sold and the children and separated. He becomes so desperate. He joins john browns raid. In 1859. In the fall and harriets letters are found on him. Hes so desperate, he thinks he can. I guess john brown convinces him that hes going to enslave me. I think john brown really thought somebody is writing a really good book on john brown right now. Walter johnson at harvard and im really looking forward to learning. You know, theres this sort of argument, is he kind of mentally unstable . Whats going on with john brown . I think john brown really thought that at least this would be a catalyst to war. I think he was right in that regard. Well find out what walter has to say. So harriets letters are found on on dangerfields body. He is shocked by the virginia militia family was central, and its evident between children and their parents and we have ten year old annie who writes to her dad. This is the only image we have any she writes to her dad. Her dad has escaped out to england because he is sought by the Virginia State of virginia and the federal government. Actually, he is considered a suspect in conspiring to bring about the john brown raid. He told john brown it was an insane thing to do. Dont do it. And that he john brown, did not have an understanding of how slavery was protected in virginia and the rest of the south. But john brown went anyway and went ahead anyway. And so Frederick Douglass escapes to great britain. So annie writes to her dad just to lighten things up a little bit. She says to her father, she knows that he is proud of her and she brags about her. Her. About her ability to read german. So ill just read a little bit. She says, my dear father, this is rochester, december 7th, 1859. Im proceeding in my german very well, for my teacher says so i am in the first reader and i can read. I expect that you will have a german letter from me in a very short time. I have learned another piece and it is about slavery. Im going to speak it in my school. My piece is this. This is not the man for me who buys or sells a slave for he who will not set him free but sent him to his grave. But he whose noble heart beats warm for all mens life and liberty, who loves like each human form. Thats the man for me. So she tells him its in the garland of freedom for verses of it. And then she says, poor mr. Brown is dead. That heart had a hard hearted man said he must die and they took him in an open field and about a half a mile from the jail hung him and then, she adds, the german children like me very much. But i have gone ahead of them and they had been there longer than me to they all send their love talking about the family from your affectionate daughter, annie douglass. So ten year old annie, like others should, different type an exhibition of familial love is any any is quite positive that her dad cares about her even as she brags about learning german. So in contrast, fugitive slave Germaine Logan is receives a letter. From his former slave holder and and she has no idea that shes writing on the eve of war. But. Im trying to find it. Sorry. I thought i had it marked. So shes writing her name is sarah logue, and shes writing from tennessee. February 20th, 1860. Right on the eve of the civil war to harm. I now take my pen in hand to write to you a few lines to let you know how we all are. I am a cripple, and i am still able to get about it. I write you these lines to let you know the situation we are in, partly in consequence of you are running away and stealing old rock. Our fine mayor, though we got the mayor back, she never was worth much after you took her. And as i now stand in need of some funds, im determined to sell you and i have had an offer for you, but not did not see fit to take it. If you will send me 1,000 and pay for the old mayor, i will give up all claim to you. Ill claim i have it to you write to me as soon as you get these lines and let me know if you will accept my proposition in consequence of your running away. We had to sell abe and end and 12 acres of land and i want you to send me the money that i may be able to redeem the land that you as the cause of our selling and on receipt, receipt of the above names some of money i will send your bill of sale by this time. Germaine logan has gone to school in new york, fled to canada for a while, came back to new york, has a huge congregation in syracuse, new york. Its quite a prominent abolitionist. He and Frederick Douglass are very good friends, incredibly, incredibly well read. And as you will see, eloquent. I will im reading just excerpts. The letters are much longer. Syracuse, new york, march 28th, 1860. He is now a minister of presbyterian church. I louis, mrs. Sarah logue, yours of the 20th of february, is duly received. You are a woman that had you a womans heart. Youould never have insulted a brother by telling him you sold his only remaining brother and sister because he put himself well beyond your power to convert him into money youold my brother and sister even in and 12 acres of land, you say because i ran away. Now you have the untenable anness to ask me to return and be your miserable chattel, or in lieu of thereof send you 1000 to enable you to redeem the land, but not redeem my poor brother and sister. And he goes on and on ke this. Its a very strong letter. He doesnt fool around. Lets her know that she doesnt respect africanamerican family. Thats basically what hes telling her. And then when the war came, the evidence of the centrality of family and africanamerican life is really overwhelming, not just among enslaved people, but also free as well. Enslaved people take advantage and the disruption of the war and they go looking for their family members. In fact, Union Soldiers, union captains, Union Officers had a hard time understanding why the soldiers were disappearing. Black soldiers, when they became involved in the war in 1863, they were going to look for their family. They were trying to say their family, family members. And so they are searching for family members from refugee camp to refugee camp, wherever the union lines were. And like couples everywhere, black couples engaged in courtship and marriage during the war. Its the beginning of the war when John Washington declares his love for any John Washington escapes to crosses the river. Union soldiers tell him to come on. He and his cousin escape and he becomes at first an assistant to a Union Soldier officer. And its an exciting story. I tell about it in the prolog and its kind of fun to tell. The letter, including words that line that says basically, i really want you to be my wife. And he has found out that john is going to parties. Not a good idea. Theyre supposed to be engaged. And evidently shes chastising him for it, criticizing him for it. And he writes to her and says, i really want you to be my wife. I really youre youre the only one, is basically what hes saying. And he writes like this in several letters. Its a wonderful letter, wonderful communication between the two. And they do end up getting married. Actually during the war. And then theres Sergeant Major louis douglass, who writes to amelia logan, Germaine Logans dahter and their love letters. I have to tell you, our our beautiful. Its just absolutely beautiful there from a prominent abolitionist family. Both of them and they write so eloquently that, you just want to keep reading morend more and at first theyre just courting and then soon they are actually becoming very much involved. And during the war, even more so. So during the war, he writes to her and and shes not sure if he is as committed or is she kind of toys with him. And he lets her know thate loves her very much. And he essentially says to her, i want to marry you. This is hes a soldier in the war. I want to marry you simply because i love you and my love for you has stood the test of nearly two years and those years spent in absence from you in a portion of time, not even having the pleasure of a letter from you. I base the he on such foundation that my love and your love remain undying. And in this particular slide that im showing is she is worried about him getting killed in action. And he is he is actually he fights with 54 regiment anhe isctually hurt very much so much so that they cannot have childrennd but he writes to her and he lets her know. He says, i shall always love you, never give me up for death until you are certain of it. My fear is that i may be reported dd and this happened a lot. When i am not, it is often the case in battle. And so he says, i love you and so on. So beautiful letter and and i followed the Douglass Family from the antebellum period through the civil war. And then after the civil war in 1869, amelia and louis douglass married and they are written up in of the major important newspapers and told about this lovely wedding and thats the way the book ends. Thank you. Questions. How did you find the letters and the pictures and . The thought of the civil war time . It sort of reminds me of the ken burns. Im sure, and that it was more, you know, but the thought of them, you know, and that was a beautiful, beautiful picture of the. Yes, very much the last one. Mm. Im proud to be me. How, how did i find the letters in places like this . Massachusetts Historical Society had the John Washington letters no longer they are now in virginia in a virginia archive. But there are many other letters and works to be had here. Library of congress, the national archives, some are digitized, some of the library of Congress Letters are digitized between Frederick Douglass and his children. So everywhere i went to one private archive, david blight, whos a wellknown historian and wrote a masterful work on Frederick Douglass, told me about walter evans. Walter evans had a collection of letters of the douglasss, had a scrapbook, and amelia and lewiss letters. And i stopped there and read them on his dining room table in savannah, georgia. Left from california there and sat there for a week, going through his material. Theyre now at yale and his materials are at yale. Walter evans archival materials at yale. So theyre everywhere. And so, you know, there are a lot of letters i could have added more and i still would like to do that. There are a lot more letters that i didnt want to make the book overwhelming. So i wanted to give examples of diverse experiences. And i think ive achieved that. I so im fascinated by that. Who wrote the letter to germaine . Was it germaine . Mm hmm. Sara. Luke. Mm hmm. How did she find him . I mean, if he ran away, how how was she able to get the letter to him . He wasnt really in hiding anymore. He had a picture which he was writing for abolitionist papers. He was quite bold, like Frederick Douglass. Frederick douglass is essentially eventually someone buys him so that he doesnt have to worry about constantly on the run, but Germaine Logan was sort of saying, dare i dare you to come after me . And in letter he says, i have many people who would come up and protect me from people like you. So do you know if reverend logan was ever able to find his brother and sister who had been sold . No no, i dont know that. Its a really interesting story, because it seems that his mother was actually free and was kidnaped, and that did happen. So the children should have all free. Yeah. There is also a question online about i think it was danger field, his family, if you know the fate of his wife, im sorry, whos dangerfield . Uh huh. Dangerfield newbie. Mm hmm. What about his wife . If you know the fate of the rest of his family after he was in the john brown raid . No, no, i dont. Can you Say Something about how the civil war brought freedom . But also it created this enormous number of refugees and disruption in the peoples family lives. And that part of your story. Yes. And so this is a war like no other war, because enslaved people were not going to sit around and wait to be rescued whenever union lines were nearby. They snuck away to the union lines. Now, imagine if you were a general in an army and youre trying to conduct a war and youve got all these people with little children, older people coming along, following you, its disrupted. So they started creating camps. They called them contraband camps because Jonathan Butler called them that for practical reasons. But i call them refugee camps. And they were and because they were not property and i want to stress that. And so those who were men were put to work and eventually they were part of the union army. After 1863. And the women were also often put to work helping feed, you know, works to breakfast cooks as nurses and so on. The aged were hard to care for, so it was a problem. It was difficult. But what happens is, is that northerners go down, northern teachers, black and white, mostly white teachers, go down and start teaching. All of these women, mostly women, older men, how to read and write. And they are overwhelmed by the number who want to learn how to read and write. They shouldnt have been surprised. Its a literate society. Most whites know how to read and write, at least in the north. By that time, the level, the degree of abilities are varied, but we dont know for sure how much. Its very hard to get numbers in the mid19th century on literacy, but the enslaved population and basically were denied access to to learning to how gaining literacy. But we now know that about. 5 to 10 actually did know how to read and write and if one person knows how to read and write in a group they can share with others whats going on. And thats what happens. And so these refugee camps became schools. Doctor roberts and so this books been out for a little while. Yes. And youve gotten some lovely notice, man. Say about it and youve presented a few places. And i wonder what peoples reaction has been to your overall theme about what youre really talking about is the basic humanity of these people. And do you have any stories that you could share or about audiences reaction to this . Well, its really interesting because ive been talking to the general public and i was in a kind of posh town club in pasadena and one lovely woman was telling me how much she enjoyed the book, but she thought it was going to be just a love letters. Bunch of love letters. Its just going to be, you know, just a easy book to read. And she said and it was the history book. And i liked it. And i, of course, said, oh, im so glad. Thats one. But i found that letters, just whether i talk to general audiences or my students, just enthralled those who are listening, i, i used to have students literally reading some things and they cried. Theres, theres this letter between god and laura spicer and her husband. And we know that we dont have we have his letters. We dont have her letters, but we can into it. What he is saying and let me just read a bit of it for you, because its so eloquent. I cant improve on you. He they had been parted for over 20 years and they thought that they were both dead. They thought each one, each other was dead. And then they find out after the civil war they are not. And this is when i cry and my students cry and so he writes to her, he writes back to her, and he says, i read your letters over and over again. I keep them always in my pocket if you are married, i dont ever want to see you again. I would much rather then you know, shes not i would rather you get married to some good man for every time i gets a letter from you, it tells me all two pieces. And he says, the reason i havent written to you in a long time is because the letters disturbed me so much. You know, i love my children. They have three children together, and i. I would come and see you, but i know you could not bear it. I want to see you. And i dont want to see you. I love you just as well as i did the last day i saw you. And it will not do for you and i. To me, im married and my wife and i have two children. And if you and i meet, it would make a very dissatisfied family. But it keeps it keeps writing to her. Now imagine her art is towards a heart wrenching. So they decide theyre not going to meet again. But then he writes to her again and he says, send me some of the childrens hair in a separate paper with their names on the paper. Will you please get married as long as i am married, my dear, you know, the lord know both of our hearts, you know, it never was our wishes to be separated from other, and it never was our fault. Oh, i can see you so plain at any time id rather anything to had happened to me most than ever have parted from you and the children as i am. I do not know which i love best, you or anna. If i was to die today or tomorrow, i do not think i would die satisfied. Till you tell me you will try and marry some good, smart man that will take good care of you and the children and do it because you love me, not because i think more of the life i have got than i do of you. And it goes on. Yeah, its part heartbreaking. Hard to read. And this is the postcivil war period. These are happenings we dont usually read about and we dont think about the fact that people found each other in refugee camps thinking the other was dead. We have stories. Freedmans bureau kept records of those who came through different refugee camps. The mother who was barefoot, Walking Around this is april 1865, looking for her, maybe later looking for her baby and after interviewing her, they they discover this baby was no longer a baby, had to have been over 20 years. And would say, has anyone seen my precious baby going from camp to camp . And they couldnt get her to stay, to take care of her, to get shoes for her. She was determined to find her precious baby. This is the part of the american story that we all need to know as well. Thank you