On the cover of life magazine. And he has published a book about his experience, moments of truth. Thank you for coming out tonight. We are hosting Howard Ruffner. During his College Years he was a photographer for the yearbook and newspaper. Moments of truth is a collection of more than 150 photos around the kent state massacre of 1970 in which four lives were lost. Without further ado, please welcome Howard Ruffner. [applause] Howard Ruffner first of all, i have to say it is nice to see some familiar faces out here. A lot of people from pasadena village and relatives. My daughter is here with my soninlaw and his parents. And people from near where i live. Most of all, i have to thank my wife for being here. [applause] as most of you know, whenever you endeavor on a big project, your spouse picks up the other stuff and laura kept me organized and going and major i did not lose too much of a focus on where i was going with this. Let me get started. Theention of my book intention of my book is to let you know more about me at the beginning before i attended kent state, my introduction to photography. The rest of the story starts when i enrolled in at kent state in march, 1969. The rest of the book is about my and the experience of photographing events on campus from a first until may 4. That is me in the photos standing next to my mom. Looking up at my newest brother, rick. That is me. Oh. The cleveland press in those days thought a family of six Human Interest story. They entitled it sing a song of six pants. They sent a photographer to our home and captured an image of us all. He positioned us and took the picture. Pagehoto ran on the front of the afternoon paper the next day above the fold. Friends and neighbors cannot wait to share the front page. We were famous. This was 1953. Are, 18 years later. We are now seven boys and eight years. My youngest brother mick is on the far left. He was still in high school. Three of us had been to the service. Two air force, one army. Joining. S would be one more air force, one navy. About a year after high school i enlisted in the air force. Years as airst two writer in the Information Office in waco, texas, i applied and was accepted to a group called the department of defense broadcast course in indianapolis, indiana. During the eight weeks of broadcast journalism, we were taught to write for tv news and incorporate video. I was then assigned to the American Forces philippines network. My duties included editing film, camera a television during live at shows and ufo broadcast. Quicklyowed me to compose pictures. A televisiond camera or a handheld, my visual awareness was growing and i became the primary news director and got all of the shots at the station. The bays offered me a lot of opportunities to take photographs of celebrities. Celebrities that visited during uso shows. Many included comedians, singers, movie stars to enter tain the troops and families. General benjamin no davis in this photograph, the highest ranking africanamerican u. S. Air force officer was greeted by greeted bob hope upon his arrival. Tois would later be asked serve on the president s commission for campus unrest. Thenof the photos i took were used during our daily television show. Airbase when i got seriously involved in photography. This was where i bought my first nikon camera and lenses. Now, i had a professional camera. To hobby shop on the base was my escape from work. Next came printing my images. Here they really taught me how to really photo finish a photograph. Watching a photo of the written in the developer was like magic. I was giving myself assignments and taking pictures daily. After a while, the photo lab tax encouraged me to enter a competition. Which wonthis photo first place for portraiture. Another photo i entered won third place landscapes. Having completed and won gave me a real sense of accomplishment and encouraged me to get even better. My photography was taking off, i decided to submit a recent photo i took to the newsbased newspaper. This was my First Published photograph. It ran with my credit and it took some planning to get exactly what i wanted. Now i am feeling that im becoming more accomplished as a photographer. 1969 and imarch, have enrolled at Kent State University ready to pursue my degree in broadcast term journalism. Spring on campus was a time first dunes to get out and play and enjoy campus life e. On books. The students had been involved in something as silly as a mud fight since elementary school. It looked like a perfectly natural way to break the ice and get to know your fellow classmates. This helped me realize there was a lot more to college than just going to class and studying. While i was surprised by saying this, it reminded me that it was safe in a playful way to relieve the tensions of school. Fights to dating. Casual fridays had not been invented yet. Few students were jeans and sneakers were for gym class. It was date night were a sly and the family stone concert. On stage. Ed were there best date night close. They looked like they were going to job interviews. The conservative side was apparent at the concert. Student my first protest a photograph. Up until now, the school is pretty quiet as far as protests were concerned. Students had been working on signs and banners during the week and during the morning of the antiwar march. And ats grabbed signs banner as they left the University Campus heading to downtown kent to protest the vietnam war and they did this on thursday because kent was a suitcase campus. A lot of students went home to. Kron or kent friday afternoons, the school was deserted. The woman standing behind the al is alison krauss. Theantiwar sentiment was on minds of many students especially the young man who knew they were deferred from the draft as long as they remained in school. This would change on december 1 that year when the draft lottery was put in place. As a photographer on campus, other than this protest march, most of the protesting i heard was in the classrooms and the student unions. The next antiwar gathering would not occur until may 1, 1970 when 300500 students would attend a rally to protest nixons expansion of the vietnam war into cambodia. By the fall, the Antiwar Movement had grown off College Campuses to the mall in d. C. Four of us decided to drive to washington, d. C. To join the antiwar protests on november 15. A few weeks after our own homecoming. We arrived friday evening in time to watch people on the soldiers that died in vietnam. Int night, 18 of us slept one realm in our friend storm. The next morning, we headed to the mall and i was impressed by the size of the crowd and by their focus and steadfastness to be part of something so big. It would make the government take notice. This was my first trip to washington, d. C. Everything was new and very exciting. The resentment of half a Million People of this continued war could be felt as i moved through the crowd. Their determination to have their voices heard was deafening. With the u. S. Capitol background, these protesters demand it and and to the war. I had to push my way through the crowds to find out where the march was to begin. After a lot of walking and nudging my way around, i came to the beginning of the prey. As i spotted credit scott king and George Mcgovern at the front of the prey. I nudged my way through to get as close as i could to take my photos. Locked arm in arm with mcgovern, king they showed the strength and unity of their commitment and i was moved to be so close to such committed and important people who opposed the war. Now, it is may 1 on campus, 1970. History graduate student steve urges a rally of about 300500 students to understand the severity of nixons intention to invade cambodia. He did this without the consent of congress. And according to steve, send murdered the constitution. Therefore, it was dead and needed to be buried. Buried, constitution the crowd beginning to leave, the graduate students packed up and went on their way but one last dude sees this as an opportunity to speak to the dwindling crowd to remind them of how important the rally was and that the discussion of the war needed to continue. On he urged them to return monday, may 4. This rally took place between 12 between 12 00 noon and 1 00. The rotc building was set on fire saturday evening, i stayed up late saturday night into sunday morning and watched as the National Guard took up positions on the campus. I had a surreal feeling as i observed the movement of the troops. Where did they come from so quickly . How did they get here . What kind of trouble would happen when students returned to campus . Students walked around the birds out rotc building sunday morning as they were turned to campus. Offenseoden film had been erected while they were gone and National Guards were posted at the building to keep gawkers from getting too close. The protesting had stopped. More were no rumors of protesting or more buildings being set on fire. Everything had quieted down. Why werent the National Guard leaving . Well, one reason was that around 10 00 a. M. On may 3 ohio and anr james wrote entourage of officials arrived on campus. To survey thee damage on campus and determine what they would do about student protesters. The governor was running for a u. S. Congressional senate seat and the election was may 5. Just a day later. Two days away. When i heard this, i realized his viewing of the burnt out rotc building was likely a planned event to get Media Coverage so he could be splashed across the newspapers and tv are around the state. He wanted to impress voters that he was a law and order candidate so they would send him to washington. They did not. [laughter] using streetlights and searchlights from helicopters, i took photos of students staging a sit in at the center of town. They wanted to hear from the ther of kent and from University President , robert white. They wanted to know what was happening. Who was in charge . What was the exact role of the National Guard . Was the town and school under martial law . Confusion reigned all around. On may 4, around 11 30 a. M. Students gathered on the comments to continue the rally of may 1. I have adjusted this photo to allow specific students to stand out. If you cannot see it very well, in the front row are the length are the legs and arms of Jeffrey Miller standing behind a female student. This is Jeffrey Miller. Was a native of plainville, new york where he was born in 1950. To his right is marion becky l. She would become the most recognizable nonuniversity student protester, the most iconic photograph you might remember is the day after. 14 years old. A runaway from florida. There are two shaded individuals in the middle right of the photo. They carry their books as a pause on the way to class. On the right is duane schroeder. Cincinnati,ive of ohio, born in 1950. To his left is davey shroyer. Seen here. Sandy troyer is a speech there a therapist, honor student intent on going to class. She was born in youngstown, ohio. Guards,d as a line of students reached the crest of the hill and the guard continue to advance on them. On the right, just under the pagoda is alison krauss. The photo oftook in 19 69 during the protest march in the city. Alison krauss was a freshman honor student and she was born in cleveland in 1951. And this photo is particularly difficult for me to look at because i see her Holding Hands with her boyfriend. I remember the original photograph that i took of her. And the banner that read bring all of the troops home. At this point, the guard seemed to have completed their objective. They were supposed to disperse the students that gathered as a crowd in front of taylor hall. And yet they were still advancing. What more do they need to accomplish . What was there real objective here . What they really wanted was for this all to end so they could go home. Guard continued their marching, they reached the corner of taylor hall. I witnessed the group at the rear turn in unison. Some crouched down while others stood and the gunshots began. Of course, i thought they would be shooting blanks. I took a photograph as they turned and fired. And i stood there. A moment later i thought to myself, i better get down anyway. I probably look like a good target with these cameras around my neck and back then, the lenses were long. We did not have tiny cameras. Around my left arm cameras and camera bag and went down to the ground. Just as i was getting down and dropping to my knees, i heard a god, woman scream oh my get down. They are using real bullets. They are shooting real bullets. I was 80 feet from the guard when they turned and fired. This cropped photo shows the ground in front of taylor hall where the National Guard turned and fired. It does not show evidence that anything was thrown at the guard or there was anything that would put their lives in danger as they would later testify at the civil trials. I show this because when you look at a photograph sometimes, you see what the foot locker for intense for you to see. In the first photograph you see the guns pointed in the air. If i go back, you will see what i mean and then, when i talk [indiscernible] you are kind of getting close to looking at me, in my direction. As i looked around for my crouched position come i spotted john cleary. He was wounded on the ground to my left behind me. He was at the base of the metal sculpture in front of taylor hall. I could tell if he was dead or alive. He was lucky as he survived a shock to the chest. The first time i saw this photo on the cover of life magazine. Someone called me to let me know they had chosen one of my photos for the cover. Unprocessedd sent rolls of film to life in chicago, i had no idea how my film turned out or what my images looked like or what i had captured. I never knew exactly what the cover shot was until life hit the newsstands later that week. I am sure some of you may remember remember this cover. I will leave it up. Here. Ill leave it up the memorial site of the shootings. Visitors see these engraved words. If you have not been to the , it is a thing to see if you go there. The first word is in. As i wrote this memoir, i asked hundreds of questions about the truth my photographs really captured. Who was to blame for killing unarmed students . What role did the students play . Where the lives of the guards ever at risk . Who gave the order to fire . Learn i learned the kent protests and subsequent killing of students precipitated a closing of colleges and universities around the country. I remember reading about this in a local paper and watching it on the television news. It was later estimated that more than 4 Million Students at more 2551 collegeshe and universities went on strike during the week of may 4. In response. This is all in response to the kent state shootings making it the largest student protest in history. Last word is reflect i have always been open and willing to share my kent state photos and memories. Talks in Public Schools to all grade levels and local community groups. However, my promised him and happened in october 2016. My proudest moment happened in october 2016. I told my story at Hanoi University where i was invited to speak to 200 englishspeaking undergraduates. This would not have been possible without the help of kent state international department. These Young Students had heard about the protest in the united parents andtheir grandparents and aunts and uncles. This was the first time they had heard the story from someone who actually was there and was a primary witness. That made this so important to me was just that the students at Hanoi University and their parents and that thents recognized sacrifice at kent state and all of the College Campuses that protested the war in 1970 was what actually determined the ending of the vietnam war. Because within 10 months of what happened at kent state, 90 of the troops in vietnam were either leaving or scheduled to leave. That and icognized think they really responded to what i had to say. The people i told you about, alison krauss, danny sure your and Jeffrey Miller those were the students that died. Nine students were wounded. And one was crippled for life from the waist down. I would like to turn this over to see if anyone had questions. [applause] in yournterested family thatrom the had many people in the military and the military that you served how, your, if, experience in the military affected your view of what was going on. If you became an antiwar evenist at some point or antiwar without being an activist. Im interested in that transition or relationship. Howard ruffner i grew up in a family of seven boys born eight years apart. My dad never drove. We did not have money for college. And as a young, poor middleclass kid, i stayed out of school for about a year working several jobs trying to go to an extension school. I realized it would not work out well. A friend came in and said he enjoyed the air force. It did not take me half a second to join. I was ready to go. As far as the war goes, i was against the war but i knew that if i did not enlist and get g. I. Bill money, i could be something other than what i was. In 1965 when i enlisted, when you got your draft place, if the marines did not have enough marines to fill their quota, you are a marine. You are a marine. Air force and navy did not have that problem. I thought it was better to enlist then taking my chances to be army or marine. , i i was in the service probably did not have the same experience that a lot of people did. I had a brother that was a mechanic in vietnam, another built roads in vietnam for two years. Wrote to press releases in waco, texas and directed tv in the philippines. My view of the war was still the thing. I did not think it was just. I had no reason to believe we should be there. When i got to kent state, i held that view but my personal desire was strongeraphy than my desire to be a protester. And so i chose that and i had to keep myself more objective five than objectified trying to do one or the other. Why do you think the National Guard opened fire . Howard ruffner i can explain that, really. And it is quite strange. Rhodes all of this is in the book. When governor rhodes arrived on had hise went and public appearance. And then he had a public it a private appearance at the i dont believe there were even any kent state officials there. National guardsmen, some reporters, police. And he, his words were being i dont wanto to call them dormitories but the facilities where the National Guard were being whacked bivouacked. He made clear from his announcements at the fire station that these students are worse than the brownshirts of world war ii and we will not let them get away with anything. This kind of stuff will stop here. They are no longer going to burn down our milliondollar buildings. The building burned down with a 1942 world war ii barracks worth about 100,000 may be. But he gave the guard in that talk which the people could hear permission to use any force they could to stop the protesting. And what became what becomes and is probably something that needs more answering than whether or not the guard had an order to fire was why did the University Administration give up their role and protect their students and why did they feel they had to give up their position to the Ohio Governor at that time . When governor rhodes took control of the university, he gave permission to the generals to do whatever they could to stop rioting. That included that there would be no protests of any kind, peaceful or otherwise, no gatherings of students. And so at 12 15 on may 4, a jeep when around where the students and told theg students they had to disperse or suffer the consequences. Though weint in time, did not know it, their guns were locked and loaded and there they are nuts were out and had and they had gas masks on. And even though if i were to go back to that one photograph, the people in the front of the protesters. 300500 behind them were people like the cheerleaders. And behind that, just onlookers. This was a school of 18,000 students at the time and the number of real protesters was fairly small. Anything further, the guard said they had permission to disperse the crowd. The problem is they did not have a plan b. Kent is a huge campus like many College Campuses. They chased them and they disappeared. When you look at the book you will see that the guard ended up in what they called a practice football field which is surrounded on three sides by a six foot chainlink fence. They had nowhere to go themselves in the students gathered in front of them. They could have gone down, back to the rotc building very easily and avoided any confrontation but they chose to disperse the students but from a military standpoint, they did so by giving them up the hill the guard the advantage of the parking lot and the football field. When they reached that spot, a certain number of the guard turned and fired. Things onspiracy some people said there may have been a gunshot. It really does not matter because the guard claimed their lives were in danger. We know that to be a lie. Guard had of what the said, they shot and fired and it took 10 years for one guardsmen to admit to a reporter from the journal that he had intentionally stood there and joe louis,llets into a student who was 60 feet in guard when he fired. There are a lot of secrets that we dont know but we do know that the guard got away with murder that day. There was a report that there fireape where the word was hurt. Had you heard that or do have any opinion on that . Howard ruffner i have heard about the tape. I know who has the tape. The audiologist who listened to it has passed away so he cannot testify to anything anymore. Ink it is interesting was 80 feet in front of the guard when they fired. I did not hear anything. It could have happened. To me, it does not matter. I feel there was a group of there was a group of older or more seasoned guardsmen and it seems they are the ones that stayed back as they marched toward the hill. It was only the Certain Group that turned and fired and if you go back and look at that picture you will see that the general is far ahead. That is where things are confusing about kent because no one knows who had control of the university. Martial law was never officially proclaimed that it is often thought it was there. Operatorselephone have a procedure that if the a townor anyplace like is under martial law, they cut off telephone lines. They were under the impression that it was under martial law though it had never officially been documented. Peter . Back to the comment on whether someone said fire how much noise were the protesters making per your recollection at that Crucial Point . Howard ruffner actually, there was no noise. Up the hill. King the students were watching them. I was watching them. For lifetringer magazine at that point so i was keeping my eyes and ears open ready for something that might happen. That is why i looked back a couple of times to see if there were rocks being thrown. I did not see anything. I did not hear anything. There was not really any noise at that point in time until they turned and fired. To this day i still get shook up tohave a reaction helicopters flying overhead with searchlights were ambulances racing down a street. I can still see the kids being put on gurneys and rolled away from the campus that day. Recap, how did this incident compare to any other University Campus violence at the time . Was this a huge deal . Can sort of remember, the young young, is there was violence at berkeley and ucla had a riot. Was this vastly larger then sees other larger places . It seems ohio is not really on the forefront Howard Ruffner i cant speak completely for the other universities but i had gone to ohio state several times before the incident at kent state and i had seen National Guard and parking lots and protesting. I think it was more pronounced butr schools but not the burning of the rotc building which happened on kent at that particular time was the straw that broke the camels back for the governor and the fact that he was running for Public Office at a high level. That is what that i would attribute kent states situation or tragedy to be all about. I know that schools in the eez, columbia, a lot of violence. Berkeley had violence. That is the kind of violence that precipitated the National Guard to stop anybody physically like they did at kent. It became a political thing. Governor rhodes was there and a evening, on friday activity some rough down in the housing, trash cans burning and the mayor called for a curfew for the town and demanded there be a curfew on campus. It all gets down to who is in control of what. One other quick we did not know who was in charge. President ofd, the Kent State University, robert monday, may 00 on 4, was having lunch at the brown derby 20 minutes away with one of the other generals in charge of the National Guard. Do you have any idea what is going on . 4, then there were massive demonstrations at universities across the country. I lived in seattle at the time and at the university of washington, maybe as many as 10,000 students decided to march downtown to the federal courthouse and protest. And they marched out onto interstate five and shut down the freeway. But you in effect said and certainly implied that it was not unusual for universities to insist public to insist, public as well as private, to ,nsist on their Police Forces the university police, retaining control over Law Enforcement on the campus. What was the case at the university of washington at the time. The University President at the time absolutely insisted that neither the state patrol or the Seattle Police department were to come on campus without express permission from the university. Howard ruffner i think that is what happened at kent. Easily togave in very the violence that took place and called governor rhodes. The governor sent the troops in and the troops came in on friday. The building was burnt on saturday. I was watching the troops roll in under the darkness of the night at 2 00 in the morning. This dunes were still a way or in their dorms. No one could see them. You wake up and here you have the National Guard. Nothe National Guard had been there, i am not sure there wouldve been a problem at all. Students went to rallies in those days for one thing to get information, really. A rally was not to storm or take over a building. That was decided at the rally. At the rallies were to get information and to determine what you believed in or did not. We did not have instant information. In the book i try to remind the reader that we did not have cell andes, atv in every room let me say one other thing about the book before we close this out or have more questions. Another intent of the book, 50 years later come it is timely right now. The 1960s and early 1970s, we saw a lot of passion. And the war. End the war there was a lot of passion with students at schools. That passion is just beginning endagain in the u. S. To climate issues and then control. I hope the book will help them understand to keep their passion, keep the fight. You will have to make some sacrifices. But you can make a change. Than just ais more reflection of kent state. It is a hope for our future students and generations to know that they can make change by being passionate about something. What motivated you to put this book together . Did someone tell you to do it . And think sit there you wanted to use this as a teaching tool . Allrd ruffner i knew i had of these photographs and i did not know what to do with them. My wife and i have real Close Friends that are phds in history and teach history at colleges. They also have a cabin in casper, wyoming. We were up there for a while with them. Visiting. Jeff looks at me and says howard whenever i am with someone, it gets around to kent state especially if they are historians. Ansaid, howard, you are eyewitness. A primary witness. You need to write that book. And they gave me a good kick in , a good push. And we have another friend, Michael Mcdonald that lives in brooklyn and he wrote a book about all souls pure gun he wrote a book with eddie bulger. I said michael, how do i get this started . I did not have a clue. And i taught english for two years in high school. He said, there is my writing desk. This is what i did. Start from the top of your head. I may have written 4060 pages. Laura said throw that away. [laughter] which is actually what you need to do because you get that rough stuff out of your head and then you get organized and focused. That is how it all got started. It took about three years. A long process. But it was something i wanted to get done. And as the only photographer there for the entire weekend, i have the only record. [indiscernible] Howard Ruffner i was hired by life on may 4 to be a eastern or. Bill. To kent on the g. I. I was not in any relationships. I had nothing to do. I had two roommates. I had free film. What better thing to do with free film then take pictures . Someone at columbia [indiscernible] think these are the kids of affluent citizens . And what about the repercussions . Was a horrible decision. The parents of these kids were slaving to send their kids to colleges and then to have them slaughtered. What were the repercussions . We know about the tragedy. Howard ruffner some of the students went home. I know someone who has a masters in journalism and her dad said if you were involved in those protests, you should have been shot. The conservative nature back then and i think you have to look at the generational thing. If your dadd or uncle went to world war ii , and yout in the war did not want to fight in a war, they did not think you were very manly. But, they did not understand that there was a difference. The cousin of the generation. And we they fought for ething [indiscernible] the nationalr guard the repercussions for the National Guard was they went to trial twice. I was a lead witness at both civil trials. Fors on the witness stand three years and passed all my photography. The first time they were convicted but then it was thrown out and appealed. There was a second trial in 1978. Stand. As on the witness after my few days, they got the second witness up there. While he was up there, the judge came out and said we have reached a conclusion. The government and the court had agreed to a settlement with the guard writing a letter of they did not want to say it was a letter saying they were sorry but it was a letter saying they wish it couldve been handled a different way. The judge awarded the plaintiff 600 50,000. The reason for this was dean taylor, who had been wounded and paralyzed from the waist down, he did not have a rich family and is still paralyzed. 450,000. Him part of the settlement was to end the whole thing and get to help people out. People who died. The parents of the children who were killed got money. But most of it went to dean taylor so he could live the rest of his life. He actually worked for the state of ohio. He has been a teacher. He is in a wheelchair and does wheelchair races every weekend. He is still alive and well and lives in kent. [indiscernible] Howard Ruffner i have a photograph that he saw in the kent state memorial area and he called me and said howard, you know that photograph . I have never seen that photograph before. That was the last photograph taken of me standing. When last question i guess. Maintain your ability to take photographs on such an emotional day . Howard ruffner i have been asked that several times. Ability tohave an not let my emotions get involved in my work. It is kind of difficult. When i got down we all thought they were shooting blanks. Or over their heads. The bullets they were shooting, there is a sculpture on campus, threel sculpture with inch steel. Some of the bullets were armor piercing and went through this culture. As far as my own way of maintaining myself, i had a job to do. And i maintained that sense of separateness. Askedwas even told were to stop taking pictures by some people on campus. Takingthem i had to keep pictures because people had to know what actually happened. Taking pictures of someone and they looked at me and said dont take that photo, i did not take it. And the person on the cover of life magazine, had no income to his aid, i wouldve put down my camera and gone to help him. I have done that in other situations when it was a picture opportunity but someone needed help. You cannot let your feeling sometimes get in the way of your job. It is tough. You for coming tonight. And i hope it was something useful. [applause] thank you all for coming tonight. We move on to the signing portion of the event. We ask that you purchase a book before getting it signed. You can find books on this table as well as over on the shelf. Or can buy them downstairs at will call. I hope you have a good night. Thank you. [applause] this is american a three tv on cspan3. We explore our nations past. Army heritage day is an annual event held in may at the and educationtage center in carlisle, pennsylvania. Hundreds of living history hobbyists are selected to duct demonstrations and talk to the public about military subjects ranging from the American Revolution to the war on terror. Next, we visit a medical tent set up as a world war ii u. S. Army battalion aid station. A mobile emergency room that would have been located close to the front lines. Are,