And just so you know, we love corporations. Viacom, youre great. Keep doing what you do. Were really big fans here at the daily show, viacom. Mwah, love you. So the answer is obviously to hug these corporations close, and corporations are hugging right back google, kpmg, aetna, lyft not chickfila and here comes the true slay queen, walmart. [all cheering] is walmart gay . Walmart does take pride in their gay associates. As a company, i dont think you can label a company with a sexual orientation. Walmart seems like a top to me. Ii wouldi would agree with that. I think its amazing that so many people could come out and just live their truth as a marketable demographic. For sure, and theyve really made it, like, a safe for everybody, i think, for us too, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100 . Its like, here i am. Im queer. I have a debit card. Everyones gay as hell now. And gays love money, bitch. You know that, so. So queer capitalism is totally chill. Actually, there is a specific issue with corporate sponsorship in pittsburgh, and it involves the fword. No, not that. Fracking. Theres a lot of corporations that are seemingly buying. Last year, this march was called the eqt equality march. Eqt doesnt stand for equality. It stands fortheyre a Fracking Company. Do you think that its appropriate that a Fracking Company is the sponsor for pittsburgh pride . Lol. I think that it is completely inappropriate that a Fracking Company is a sponsor for anything. Eqt doesnt just shoot hot liquid deep into holes in the ground. They also swing both ways by supporting pride and various antigay politicians. So what are people supposed to do, have a separate pride without corporate sponsors . Some say frack yes. This pride event represents the people, noncorporational pride, something that centers rtlgbtq communities of pittsburgh. Do you think corporations can be gay people . No, corporations cannot be gay people. The peoples pride is noncorporate, has more color in its rainbow, and i found someone who can keep up with my moves. But are they turning their back on progress . Dont you think its beautiful that queer people have been able to come out and live their truth as a marketable, capitalizing demographic . No. [laughs] i would think it would be beautiful if those actions were genuine. They want to be a part of whats trending right now, and right now, being gay is trendy, you know. Pose is out, and there are lots of gay celebrities now. Could you name a couple, by any chance, if theres any . So off the top of my head right now, big freedia. Theres Dashaun Wesley and leiomy maldonado. Okay, all right. They dont even want my brand. This is where i draw the line. There has to be some way for corporations like eqt to prove that theyre really committed and not just experimenting. Like, maybe they just need to show that theyre really about queer subculture in, like, a more inventive, creative way. Im afraid where youre going with this. I thought that maybe this could really get across the message of what eqt stands for. Its like drilling but also. Its a little fast. With awith a could you slow it down [chuckling] oh. Eh, maybe that. Thats right, progress takes time. 50 years ago, corporations wouldnt touch the gay community, and now they cant wait to show their love in public. And what better way to reciprocate that love than with the eqt varispeed deep fracking drilldo, brought to you by eqt. [cheers and applause] [upbeat hiphop music] so in the last 48 hours, the president has gotten in fights with congress, the press, and twitter, and, look, we cant help him with the first two, but we do have someone who can help him out online, so please welcome someone whos on twitter right now, jaboukie youngwhite [cheers and applause] oh, hey. Whats up . [wild cheers and applause] thanks, trevor. Okay, look, i never say this, but i feel bad for donald trump. I mean, like, clearly, hes in a social media rut, and weve all been there. Your retweet count is down. Your takes are getting cold. You just got unfollowed by rihanna. [laughter] wait, jaboukie, did you just get unfollowed by rihanna . [choked up] i dont wanna talk about it right now, trevor. I just need to give trump some advice real quick, okay . Mr. President , if you want to get more followers, you gotta switch it up, man. I mean, first of all, youre too thirsty. Like, look at all those capital letters. [laughter] stop shouting. Nothing screams im desperate for attention like tweeting in all caps. You gotta play that shit cool, right . Put everything in lowercase. Like, i dont know, i mean, i guess we could do a muslim ban or not. I dont really give a [bleep]. [laughter] im chill, you know . Second, no one wants to hear about fox friends or all that old people shit. Tweet about shows people actually watch, you know, like that show with the black baby or whatever that gets kidnapped by mandy moore but then it turns out being a good thing. [laughter] youre talking about this is us . Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my god, every time i watch that show, im like, damn, this is us, you know . [laughter] its dope. And speaking of us, theres one thing that will boost trumps followers he needs to become a part of black twitter. Its the only gated community that hes not allowed in. Okay, okay, slow down, jaboukie. Come on, like, thats something thats never gonna happen, man. Trevor, have some faith, man. If trump wants to be on black twitter, hes gotta change that profile pic. I mean, look at those dryass lips. [laughter] black people will never trust someone that ashy. [laughter] it looks like hes been making out with an urn, you know, like. [laughter] get yourself some lotion and glow the [bleep] up. [laughter and applause] and while youre at it, i dont know, maybe get some earbuds, a new barber. You know what, just change your overall look, all right . [laughter] jaboukie youngwhite, everybody well be right back. Dude, you cant be you gotta be [bombastic hiphop music] boom goes the dynamite, club yoko plays ] feels like im taking flight. [sfx poof] [sfx squeaking eraser sound effect. ] i am who i wanna be who i wanna be who i wanna be. Im a strong individual feeling that power im so original, ya sing it louder. I am, ooo ooo ooo ooo Ehhh Ehhh Ehhh preorder and get more. Get up to 150 samsung credit, plus 6 months of Unlimited Music with spotify premium. Ooohhhh give extra, get extra with new extra refreshers gum. [upbeat rock music] for years, grumpy old white dudes have been telling us that socialism is total bullshit. Socialism leads to decline and ruin. This system crushes human souls. But as the daily shows new senior youth correspondent. [cheers and applause] i know that millennials right now think socialism is totally on trend. I popped some molly and hit the street to find out why even though the olds hate it, the kids love socialism. Uh, i think socialism is great. I think you should definitely help whoever you could at any situation. I [bleep] with socialism just cause i [bleep] with anything thats helping black people out. Okay. So youre socialism curious. Yeah, a little. Im in college. Do you hate billionaires . Lowkey, yeah. You look at jeff bezos. He doesnt look human. I mean, i think the idea of socialism is. On point. I mean, i dont really know what socialism is, to be completely honest with you, oh, its okay. Were all confused. If there were only someone we could talk to, someone with some deep experience on the subject. When i started doing this sort of piece on socialism, i knew that there was really only one politician who i can talk to about it, so i guess my question is, do you know aoc . Sure. And whats her availability . Like, if you could put us in touch, maybe . [stammering] you want to speak to her . Yeah, maybe. Oh, i just figured, you know. [laughs] seriously, you cant talk socialism in america without going to the og, senator bernie sanders. I believe in a society where all people do well, not just the handful of billionaires. Could he be the oldest millennial in america . I admit it democratic socialism looks pretty fine on his tinder profile, but are we gonna vibe when we meet irl . If you go to countries like denmark or sweden, gonna see very little poverty. You could leave your job. You could start a new business. You and your family still have health care as a right. So i could quit the daily show and be fine. Absolutely. Well, it was great meeting with you. [laughs] all right, thats a wrap. So under president bernie, wed be more european, like denmark or narnia. But try telling that to the haters. Its a terrible system. Its never worked. And in order for it to work at all, you gotta kill several Million People to make it work. [dark musical flourish] Karol Markowicz has written on why socialism needs to be canceled forever period. Millennials have been raised in such prosperous times. They just think that, oh, we can make it even better with this insane plan to share the resources. You know, i would love capitalism if it just werent for all the sick people and all the poor people who cant afford health care. Is there a way for me to enjoy capitalism without those things . If the solution is socialism, its gonna make us all equal in our poverty. But if everyone is poor, isnt that kind of cool cause were all experiencing the same thing . So itll be like, hey, like, the bread line was extra long today, and id be like, oh, my god, yeah, it was. That guy is super observant and, like, funny. Not so much, no. I was born in the soviet union. My greatgrandfather was killed in a gulag because he owned a business and socialists decided that was no longer legal. Thats truly horrific. Would bernie be sending Small Business owners to forced labor camps . Obviously, soviet union was an authoritarian society with no democratic rights, and i think if you know history, youll know that democratic socialists stood up and fought against that. You can look about what existed in the soviet union or in venezuela. That is not what im talking about at all. So no ones going to the gulag. Well, except no. [laughter] okay. Fact check the examples of failed socialism that critics use are not socialist democracies but authoritarian states led by corrupt, ruthless, and paranoid dictators, but i do have one real problem with socialism i like money. You know, tvs going kind of good for me right now, and im thinking of writing a successful book. Is socialism still for me if im a millennial millionaire . I mean, it depends on whats your heart. If what you say in your life is, all i wanna do is make as much money as i possibly can and screw everything else. I dont give a damn. Yeah, no, i dont think democratic socialism is your cup of tea. But if you have a decent heart and you say, look, im doing really well. But you know what . I also want to be a contributor to the wellbeing of society, so im gonna pay my fair share of taxes. Wow, i can have my cbdinfused glutenfree cake and eat it too . Im liking this socialism thing more and more, and bernie made me feel so good, i decided to share something. I brought you a present. Thats cool. So. All right, anticipating. Ohho thats beautiful. Thank you. I made it myself. When you are elected president , where do you think youre gonna put this in the white house . Someplace, i dont know the exact room, but its beautiful and i thank you for it. Youre welcome, bernie. Enjoy. [cheers and applause] [bombastic hiphop music] boots up as fast as 6 seconds when youre running late . At whispers its switching time or how about a battery that lasts up to 12 hours . Order up now were cooking. Or how about one with virus protection built in . Which. Would be helpful. Right. About. Now. Yeah, if you want all that, switch to chromebook. Fruit of the loom coolhave vents for airflow, and to demonstrate the importance of vents we removed them to see what would happen. Excuse me. Hello . Keep answering your phones. Help were going for it fruit of the loom coolzone fly boxer briefs. Without vents, its hard to keep your cool. Do you love reeses pieces . Well have we got a deal for you. Were making reeses with pieces. Sorta like a buy one get one free inside the thing you just got. Not sorry. Reeses. Were jack daniels. The oldest, realest, loudest, quietest, friendliest, lonesomest, proudest, mellowest, least likely to give up on a good tradition, most likely to make it how we make it whiskiest whiskey from lynchburg, tennessee. Whiskiest whiskey hey, who are you . Oh, hey jeff, im a car thief. What . im here to steal your car because, well, thats my job. What . What . . What . laughing what . . What . what . [crash] what . haha, it happens. And if youve got cutrate car insurance, paying for this could feel like getting robbed twice. So get allstate. And be better protected from mayhem. Like me. [upbeat rock music] if youve been following the Jussie Smollett story, you know that a few weeks ago, the empire actor said he was attacked by racist Trump Supporters, who beat him up, tied a rope around his neck, and poured bleach on him. For more on this crazy emerging story, were joined now by our senior culture correspondent jaboukie youngwhite, everybody [cheers and applause] jaboukie, youve been following this story from the start, and now that it looks like it may have been staged, are you surprised . Im not surprised, but im disappointed, you know. This storys been weird for me, trevor. As a gay person, im used to speaking on gay issues. As a black person, im used to speaking on black issues. But im not used to them intercepting, except when, like, someones like, as a gay black person, do you think i could pull off these shoes . [laughter] or, like, if rupaul robbed a bank, thatd be the only other time. [laughter] that actually is true. Youre looking at this as a gay person and as a black person. And im also a part of a Third Community that has been devastated by this the actor community, trevor. [laughter] because of jussie, everyones gonna think actors are liars now, which, technically, we are because, like, thats our job, but still, you know . And on top of that, i look like him. Well, actually, i dont really think you look like him. Mm, to white people, i do. [laughter] and hopefully to whoever is casting the Jussie Smollett lifetime movie. [laughter] [applause] because. [cheers and applause] this story was made for lifetime, you know . Were still piecing together leaks from the Chicago Police department and more reliable sources like tmz. [laughter] but you couldnt have written a crazier plot. I mean, Trump Supporters who watch empire. A death threat letter made out of magazine clippings. Thats so dated, you know . Everyone knows if youre sending a death threat, you post that shit on twitter. Well, jaboukie, i think youre getting ahead of yourself, though. The big question now is, like, why . Why would Jussie Smollett do Something Like this . I dont know why he did it, man. I mean, if he wanted to raise awareness for lgbtq rights, he should have just donated money. If he wanted attention, he could have just leaked his nudes. And if he wanted to hang out with two guys at 2 00 a. M. , grindr is right there. Okay, but heres what im worried about, thought. Wont this make it harder for victims of real hate crimes to come forward and get justice . Not really because that would have required people to have cared about queer people, specifically queer black people, in the first place. Whoa, jaboukie, thats a strong statement. I think most people do care. Trevor, you clearly havent heard of the gay trans panic defense. Its a totally admissible Legal Defense where someone can get a lighter sentence for killing a gay or transperson by claiming the victim hit on them. Are you being serious . Yes. No, in 47 states, including new york, someone could beat a gay person like me to death and then go, well, i dont know. He wanted to suck my dick. And you know what . Maybe i did. [laughter] but thats still not a good reason, you know . I mean, imagine if women could use that defense. Thered be no men left. [laughter] none. [cheers and applause] none. And then. I dont know. Who would be left to buy all the threeinone body wash, shampoo, and conditioner . Well, some of us are busy. We dont have time for lots of products, okay . But, anyway, this isthis is obviously unfortunate on so many levels. What is your takeaway Going Forward . Honestly, trevor, i think that this is a teaching moment for us all, and, personally, ive learned one really valuable lesson, which is that actors should not write their own projects. I mean, this thing had way too many plot holes. He totally miscast the villains. I mean, two nigerian Trump Supporters . [laughter] like, you cant just cast black people as racist white people. This isnt hamilton. [laughter] [applause] now if youll excuse me, ive got an audition to prepare for. I hear theres a new role that might be opening up on empire. [cheers and applause] heres your salary for the week, jussie. [light piano music] what . [chuckles] 60,000 . Ive worked three days this week. Maybe youre not as important as you think. [sobs] [crying] its not enough its just not enough. [ominous music] his poverty drove him to crime. Im so important on this show, im getting death threats. [dramatic musical flourish] wow, this is shocking. Youre actually getting fan mail. So cool. They didnt take him seriously enough. They dont take me seriously enough. So he came up with a plan that would change his life forever. What is wrong, jussie . Im sorry, nigerian trainer. I cant concentrate. I sent myself a death threat letter at work. Nobody cared. Why would no one care . You are famous. And gay. What if that letter was real and a trump supporter beat you up in the street because you are famous . And gay. I know what i need to do. I need to find a maga trump supporter and get him to beat me up in the streets, and then ill make more money. But, jussie, where would you find Trump Supporters willing to participate in this risky scheme . [chuckles] im looking at em right now. [laughter] im talking about you guys and so the plot was hatched. I have the hat and the noose so that everyone knows i am racist. Good. [claps] good job. Good job. You got it. And i brought the bleach. Bleach, why . I am so racist that i want to turn black people white. [laughter] critics are calling it the performance of the year. Mmm, i love eating sandwiches at 2 00 a. M. Hey, arent you that actor that is underpaid on the show empire who is very famous . And gay. Yes, i am. Ah ah, ah, ah, ah ah ow okay, that really hurt. This is maga country. Ah [dramatic musical flourish] im the gay tupac. [laughter] [bombastic hiphop music] but can they deliver highfives . Create mini stampedes . Or bring you instant hero status . Mcdonalds delivers something more. Delivering happy. Mcdonalds with uber eats. New user . Get 5 off new user . Ooohhhh so that early retirement we planned. Its going ok . Great. Now im spending more time with the kids. Im introducing them to crab. Crab . They love it. So, you mentioned that that money we set aside. Yeah. The kids and i want to build our own crab shack. Ahhh, youre finally building that outdoor kitchen. Yup with room for the whole gang. 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Imagine how cool it would be to get away with buying whatever you want with imaginary mexican money. If you want to change the world, you need substance and style. This is the one. Now i can afford looks that are as sharp as my ideas with my amexican express card. [loud beep] oh, um, yeah, theres no money on this. Yeah, mexicos paying for it. [laughter] that makes no [bleep]ing sense. With my amexican express card, all my purchases are covered. Somehow. Damn. Its super expensive and its not gonna protect me at all, but who cares . Mexicos got this. Im sorry, what do you mean mexicos gonna pay for it . Are they gonna write us a check . Check . No. I take the clothes now, and then mexico pays you back indirectly. With the amexican express card, nothings out of reach, no matter how stupid. Come on, man, you gotta pay for that. Its already paid for itself. No. No, it hasnt. The amexican express card dont buy stuff you dont need without it. Sir sir [cheers and applause] [bombastic hiphop music] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central david hey, guys, here is an interesting news story. Kanye wests neighbors called the cops on him because the construction was so loud on these domes he is biddin building on his property now, i aint saying he is a dome builder whats the . I shouldnt say it . All right. Lights out starts now. Amazing whatever announcer and now, david spade [applause and cheering] david thank you [applause and cheering] david hey thank you, guys [applause and cheering] david all right. Guys, thanks for coming. Lets get right at the good stuff. Today is National Brazilian blowout day. I dont know if that a martial arts move or a puke thing