But maybe im just the kind of person who needs to have it all or nothing. Nah, all or nothing is easy, but learning to drink a little bit, responsibly. Thats a disaprin. Disaprin. Come from within. How did i manage to raise such a smart kid . Ive had a great teacher. Thanks, son. No, not you, my karate teacher. Hes really smart. Oh, well, tell you what. Lets leave the car here, walk home, and watch the game. Id like to have another beer or two. All right. Come on or maybe ill have three beers . Thats probably okay, if you spread it out. How about four . I think youre pushing it. How about twenty . Thats not disaprin. Right, right, does vodka count . Dad captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out thank you so much for coming out im trevor noah our guest tonight is a congresswoman from massachusetts and shes one of the four women who make up the squad. Ayanna pressley is here, everybody cheers and applause also on tonights show, democrats have an eating contest. Hong kong protesters are now affecting the skies. And i reveal which billionaire pedophile killed himself in prison this weekend, it might surprise you. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets begin in the world of sports and super heroness. This past weekend was the u. S. Gymnastic championships where tough athletes competed in a range of events including high bars, pummel horse and the ring thingies. laughter while all the athletes are Pretty Amazing one is simply in a league of her own. Simone bails finished up a milestone filled weekend with another Gymnastics National championship, a final night including the olympic champ performed a triple double following a history making move on the balance beam. Two flips, two twists never been done in competition. Oh did you see that smile . Trevor thats amazing the only time ive seen someone do two flips and three twists when my uncle was drunk and tried to get into a hammock laughter at the end of the competition. Simone bails somehow didnt have a perfect score from the judges which, in my opinion, means theyre assholes. They know more about gymnastics than i do but i prefer to think of them as assholes. If someone does something completely new in a competition, how is that not a perfect score. Yeah, ive never seen that before but it could have been better. laughter gymnastics is an amazing sport to watch but none of us knows whats going on. Im not going to lie. If they just land on their feet and do this, in my head, its a perfect score. Im done. A lot like watch ago chef at benihana, as long as theyre fast with the knives, im impressed. King, king, king, king, yeah, this guy knows how to cook. People in hong kong took to the streets to protest. After weeks of protests, they took their demonstration to the next level. The massive protest in hong kong bringing one of the busiest airports to the world at a standstill. Outbound Flights Canceled for the rest of the day after thousands of pro democracy demonstrators swarmed the terminal, this after a weekend of clashes, Hong Kong Police are using force, including tear gas inside a train station. Trevor damn, that airport looks crazy, yet somehow still better than la guardia. laughter applause and really, after seeing this, there is no way you can doubt the dedication of these protesters in hong kong because they went to the airport, not to fly, but to protest. laughter do you know how committed you have to be, even when i am flying . I dont want to go to an airport. I hate the airport. laughter last week, my mom asked me to pick her up from j. F. K. So she lives there now. I told you, mom, dont test me you dont test me laughter can you imagine, like, getting off the flight and seeing this . Because you forget people were landing as well. You probably want to get right back on your plane because this is chaos, unless you flew on spirit airlines. Spiers airlines is like a violent chinese protest in the sky. laughter applause and finally, while many in the u. S. Are still dealing with last weekends Mass Shootings, some jackass in missouri thought it was a good idea to do this. Tonight dimitri anchanko is in jail after setting off fierce of a mass shooting. He walked into a store dressed in body armor, carrying a assault weapon, carrying ammunition. He asked if walmart honored the Second Amendment and he said he wanted to protect himself. His gent intent was not to cause peace or comfort to anybody in the business here. In fact, hes lucky hes alive, still, to be honest. Trevor this kid walked into a walmart wearing full body armor and carrying a giantass gun and said it was a prank or experiment. I dont know how much he demonstrated the power of the Second Amendment but that was a very effective demonstration of white privilege, thats what that was, because im going to warn you now applause i will warn you now, do not try this shit if you are black. laughter or muslim. Or one of those greek people who are super tanned. laughter i will say this, though, like, the kid has exposed how crazy open carry laws are. In many states, you can just walk around with an Assault Rifle and its completely legal until the moment you threaten someone. Which is terrifying. In a country where theres this many shootings, open carry is like having a law where youre allowed to dress up like a clown and sneak into someones bedroom with a knife. Are you here to stab me . No, im just testing the law, man. Go back to sleep. laughter lets move on to our main story. cheers and applause Jeffrey Epstein. Since his arrest last month for running an underage sex trafficking ring there were hopes his upcoming trial would finally expose the full extent of his crimes and who else was involved. But over the weekend, that all became a lot less likely. Welcome back. We continue to follow this breaking news. Accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein is dead. Sources say the multimillionaire finance year was found unresponsive in his manhattan jail cell early this morning. Officials believed he hanged himself. Trevor pedophile and fake billionaire Jeffrey Epstein was found dead in his jail cell after he apparently committed suicide saturday morning which, if you ask me, is some bullshit. I wanted him to stay alive for two reasons one so their victim could get their day in court and, two, i wanted him to snitch on all his high profile pedophile friends now hes dead hes gone you know who we need . We need that lady from game of thrones to wake his ass up thats what we need come on, jeffrey what makes this epstein thing worse is we already had questions about his whole pedophile operation. Now we have additional questions about how he died. This morning, the question on many minds, how did Jeffrey Epstein die while in federal custody . Epstein had been taken off suicide watch and checked by guards every 30 minutes but that procedure was not in place the night before he was found. They cleared him from suicide watch on or about july 29, allowing him to return to his cell. Trevor yeah, they werent checking in on epstein and took him off suicide watch. Why . Like, im not an expert on psychology, but if someone tries to commit suicide, i dont think two more weeks of jail would suddenly improve their outlook on life. laughter you may remember the reason this Jeffrey Epstein case blew up wasnt just because to have the magnitude of his crimes but his circle included high profile individuals including blintsen, donald trump and scientists and royalty. And because the story involved so many powerful people, many are wondering if epstein likely suicided himself. This is a suspected suicide and it just smells fishy to so many people. The timing is so suspicious. This comes just one day after those documents were unsealed. Im not a believer in a Conspiracy Theory but i believe theres lots of suspicious activity to investigate here. Twitter erupted with a number of other theories following the shocking news of epsteins apparent suicide, trump and clinton body count and epstein murder among top trends. The theory was tied to the death of Jeffrey Epstein. Trevor i get everybody else on twitter but the president of the United States is also retweeting conspiracy theories that Jeffrey Epstein was murdered by the clintons. The president did this, which is pretty wild, because this is the type of moment where you think the president would be the voice of reason. Instead the president is jumping into the fray. You know, hes basically that dad that when a fight breaks out in the Little League game, he runs into field but instead of breaking it up body slams the third graders. Take that take that laughter trump needs a finster, then he can use the it to go crazy with his racist stuff, conspiracy theories, butt picks, he can git all out and america doesnt have to stress laughter but this time, though, this time its not just trump. Seems like everybody thinks that something shady happened here. People on the right were saying it was the clintons who killed jeffrey. People on the left were saying trump killed him. Jesse smollett says it was two white nigerian guys. laughter im not a conspiracy theorist but Something Weird happened here. Like i was thinking maybe it wasnt trump or the clintons. Maybe it was america. This incident should make us all troubled about the jail system. We know that there are many deaths by suicide in jails throughout the country. The Metropolitan Correctional Center has been understaffed, leading to low morale among guards, and the two guards in the special housing unit where epstein was kept were both on overtime, one of the guards on his fifth overtime shift of the week. Sources at the jail tell cbs news they often rely on certain inmates to assist guards in monitoring other inmates due to a lack of manpower. Trevor yeah, you heard that right, thanks to overworked staff and underfunded prisons, suicide along inmates is all too common in the United States. With some prisons so understaffed that guards ask other inmates to be on suicide watch for them, which is not ideal. I mean, what if the person they put on suicide watch is a murderer . Huh . What happens then . laughter hes just like, so, the good news is he didnt kill himself. laughter so look, man, ill be honest, i get why everybody is suspicious of how this went down because you would think a high profile person like Jeffrey Epstein would have eyes on him all the time. But to be honest, im not sure theres a conspiracy here. For me, if anything, the conspiracy has been taking place over the hast ten years. First of all epstein magically only served 13 months for his crimes, and in that 13 months he got to leave prison and go to the office six days a week, and the prosecutor sealed the case which protected epstein and coconspirators and robbed victim of due process. For me, that was the conspiracy. What happened . That was going on there. That was the conspiracy. applause and maybe just maybe what happened here is the result of their not being a conspiracy anymore and epstein being treated for the first time just like everyone else. Bacwell be right back. cheers and applause cheers and applause another foodie trip. Who even cares . 211 people. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. That fish is done, carol. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. [ scoffs ] if you say so. Im sorry . What teach here isnt telling you is that snapshot rewards safe drivers with discounts on car insurance. What . Or maybe he didnt know. [ chuckles ] im done with this class. Youre not even enrolled in this class. I know. Im supposed to be in ceramics. Do you know room 303. Oh. Thank you. Yeah. Good luck, everybody. Oh. Thank you. Yeah. vo vfundraising. Giving back. Subaru and our retailers have given over one hundred and sixtyfive Million Dollars to charity. We call it our love promise. And its why you dont even have to own a subaru to love a subaru retailer. Subaru. More than a car company. Gatorade. Packs carbs to refuel and electrolytes to replenish so you can bring the heat. Nothing beats gatorade. I can taste your beer. I want to taste his beer. [ indistinct conversations ] Samuel Adams Sam 76 finally a refreshing lager that you can taste. The daily show. So this weekend was the annuli iowa state fair and because iowans get to vote first in the president ial race, the fair has always been major stop for candidates hoping to win over those crucial vote,. So lets look how the 2020 democrats did in another i digs of world war d. cheers and applause the iowa state fair its an allamerican experience where you can do everything from win a giant stuffed animal to deep fry and eat a giant stuffed animal. laughter and how do the candidates show that they can appeal to Everyday Americans . By discussing healthcare, share education policies . No, they do it by shoving a ton of food in their face. The senator of the political universe this week the iowa state fair, the 2020 president ial candidates ready to dive in to local cuisine. Oh, my god. You like it . Its so good. laughter oh, my god. Sorry. Corn and hot dogs were meant to be married. I could eat this at every meal. Trevor yeah, of course. Of course, de blasio could eat that at every meal. Normally he grinds bones to make his bread. Come on, the corn dog is a step up. laughter the candidates i feel bad for the cory booker because dont forget hes a vegan, yeah, at the iowa state fair his options are pretty limited. Thats like being a satanist on christian mingle, you know . laughter but turns out at this event the press wasnt only paying attention to what was going into the candidates mouths, they also wanted to see what would come out of their mouths and in the wake of the el paso shooting and president trumps racist rhetoric, the hot topic was White Supremacy. Frontrunner joe biden and other president ial hope sms are flocking to the iowa state fair and asked flat out if the president is a white supremacistist. Based on his words and actions, yes, he is a white supremacist. He cant have it both ways. He cant keep trying to stir this up, give aid and comfort, be embraced by the White Supremacists and say, oh, but not me. No. Hes responsible. Enabling White Supremacists as i said earlier, what other conclusion can you come to that he supports it for some reason . Hes a white supremacist. Thats what im basically saying. Then say it no, you didnt hes a white supremacist he supports White Supremacy so what else can you conclude . Trevor that got aggressive quick. One minute youre answering questions about pork chops on a stick and another youre getting yelled at to call the president a white supremacist. Say id, say id hold on, hold on its like a racist ideology, sometimes they wear robes dam independent, just say it white supremacist say it, say it laughter now, coming into this weekend, former Vice President joe biden had a clear lead in the iowa polls, but you know that old story of the race between the tortoise and the hare . This was just like that if the hare was 76 years old and kept sticking his food in his mouth. Still ahead, joe biden called himself a gaffe machine in the past but is that now turning from a folksy joke to a real problem . We have this notion that somehow if youre poor you cannot do it. Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids wealthy kids, black kids, asian kids. No, i really mean it, but think how we think about it. Trevor oh, i dont know whats worse, suggesting poor kids are synonymous with black kids and trying to cover it up by listing as many kids as he can and hoping no one notices. White kids, black kids, asian kids, Cabbage Patch kids, new kids on the block, iowa, thank you but anyone can make a slip of the tongue. Whats worse is a weird memory laps, and biden had tha that, t. Then in another comment he said that he had met with parkland students after the shooting at that school when he was Vice President. But, of course, that was after he had already left office in 2018. I watch what happened when the kids from parkland came up to see me when i was Vice President , some of you covered it, and you watched what happened when they went up in the halls of congress. Trevor this is super awkward. Either biden thinks he was still Vice President in 2018, or hes just invented a meeting with parkland kids that never happened. Lets be honest, mistakes like this dont help the narrative that hes too old to run. Because this sounds like the classic tbrawnd pa mistake, like, oh, you made my favorite turkey sandwich. Come give your grandpa a kiss sir, im not your grandson. I just work at subway. But i will take that kiss. laughter now, with some of bidens gaffes, you at least knew what he was trying to say, but this next one was a little harder to translate. Here is another sample from joe biden open the campaign trail. We choose unity over division, science over fiction, we choose truth over facts audience reacts trevor we choose truth over facts . No, joe what is going on . Like, i know he calls himself a gaffe machine but the machine is going into overdrive right now. And in case youre wondering, trump has noticed bidens many faux pass and is already using them against him. Yeah, the one up side is that trump is well, hes trump. Yeah, because, after biden said, we choose truth over facts, trump tried to come off to biden, but messed it up by misquoting the former v. I. P. And said, joe biden just said we believe in facts not truth which is the wrong, wrong thing. laughter like, at this point, i dont know which one of these guys is going to be president , but i know neither of them will be able to get through the oath of office. Is this going to be, like, i donald j. Biden trump joseph do solemnly swear to applause this is not going to work out. Well be right back. cheers and applause a run to the left side, no foul given, morgan running. Looking for one hundred. [ kids screaming ] a run to the left side, no foul given. Morgan running. Looking for one hundred. Shes got it [ kids cheering ] lets have some fun. With our favorite people. At our favorite places. With our favorite snacks. Theres a million ways to celebrate summer. And we got the perfect side for them all. Frito lay, the perfect side of summer. Letdoctor pepper . an icecold dr pepper are you really a time traveler . Why dont you ask my friend crug here . Ahh just kidding. He hates questions and eye contact. Dr pepper. So nice to treat you ooohhhh starter, entree and drink ifor always 10 bucks no strings attached, no hoops and no hurdles were not an obstacle course, were a chilis 3 for 10 bucks, baby, bucks, baby, bucks mmmhmmm together we chilis, oh yeah, baby, yeah hashtag vacay. Sonoma . I want wine with lunch. Its 11am, cindy. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight represents massachusetts seventh Congressional District in the house of representatives. Please welcome democratic congresswoman Ayanna Pressley cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show. Thank you for having me. Trevor such an exciting time to have you here. Im surprised that you made it. I thought you would have gone back to the country that you came from. laughter have you figured out where that is yet . Is it wakanda . Where is it . Where is this world . Do you ever think about that and go, like, where is it . You know, in all seriousness, i wish i could fain surprise or outrage. Trevor right. Its a very predictable prompt from someone who has a long history of not only racist rhetoric but racist actions and everyday is rolling out racist xenophobic policies. These are things he does to distract us from the corruptness, the chaos and callousness of this administration, but i cannot pretend this rhetoric is not dangerous, its exactly why el paso happened. Trevor lets talk a little bit about the country as it stands. As a lawmaker, youre in a unique position where you can do more than most people to try to change america in the way that polls have shown that people wanted to change. Lets talk about the shootings. On the one hand you have, you know, the White Supremacy and weve heard you speak about that, but, you know, everyone has agreed on one commonality and that is guns, whether the person is a white supremacist, whether the person is mentally ill, is surprised by somebody or just lashing out, the gun is the common factor. What do you think america can do about peoples easy access to guns . First, i want to say that, yes, guns are the common factor, and the common enemy in all this is mitch mcconnell. And, so, i just want to ask all of you cheers and applause to please give him a call and say i sent you, lobby him at 202 2242541. cheers and applause whiefned we why havent we acted . This tbufs is a Public Health crisis and epidemic, this is an urban issue, it is a rural issues it is a suburban issue, transcendent, a Public Health crisis and epidemic, it is pervasive and it is growing. New zealand had a mass shooting and, shortly thereafter, they banned assault weapons, so why havent we acted . Because of a deficit of political courage and leadership, despite a mandate cheers and applause despite a mandate from this from american citizens from every walk of life. Now, heres the other thing that i want to say is important so tomorrow, we could save millions of lives by passing the assault weapons ban. I mean, again, new zealand acted in a matter of days and banned assault weapons. We could pass assault weapons ban, we could pass universal background checks. I want to give a shout out to my sister in service robin kelly in illinois because we have to address strong gun purchasing. There are Mass Shootings and communitybased violence. There are more guns than people. As long as that is the case, you are going to see an intersectionality of violence. Violence begets violence. How many mass shooters and perpetrators of violence were also abusers of women . These things are all interconnected, so we have to hold space for communitybased violence, Mass Shootings, we have to prioritize whether we are robbed of a life theyre not lost, theyre stolen on a city block, mosque, synagogue, church, school, every life matters, we have to hold narrative for both. Finally an issue i led in my eight year tenure on the Boston City Council and im proud of my six month tenure as a congresswoman t to convene a committee on oversight trauma. We have to address the trauma gun violence is leaving in its wake and choking at the pro proe of our communities. Trevor wow, thank you so much for being on the show. Wonderful to have you. Im excited to see what else you get up to. Congresswoman Ayanna Pressley, everybody. Well be right back cheers and applause they cant see good boys. Youre too young. Are you kidding . Its fudged up. Your parents have an indoor swing . [ no ordinary love by sade ] that swing is for sexing. People do sex on it. Rated r. 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So come in, sit down and connect in the place thats made for it. See you at dennys. Belvita breakfast biscuits to get you through your nine, ten and your elevena. M. Team mixer. Made with a delicious blend of grains. Get 4 hours of Lasting Energy to outlast your morning. Made with a delicious blend of grains. Lifewtr. Thirst inspiration. ® another foodie trip. Who even cares . 211 people