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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20240714

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All right, everyone, id like to be the first to welcome you to the gates of hell. Unfortunately, hell is a towin gate. All aw captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com captioning sponsored by Comedy Central within luf were Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, the daily show with trevor noah presents, democratic debate number two. Too serious, too many candidates. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out. Lets do it my name is trevor noah and tonight we are coming to you live, thats right, we are completely live. Dont believe me, look at the screen behind me. Its night out, huh, you see, were live. Now the second night of the democratic debates just ended and of the two nights, this was the debate everybody was waiting for. You know, if last night was a small lower back ta too tonight was mike tyson hes face because coming into tonight we all knew it was about. The stage is set for a second showdown, Joe Biden Kamala harris facing offer. Joe biden and kamala facing off again tonight after her blisserring attack in the firs debate. Biden vowing he wont be so polite this time. Joe biden telling donors its no more mr. Nice guy. I was probably overly polite in the way i didnt respond. Trevor yes, according to biden the last time he didnt do well was because he was overly polite which is a convenient excuse for getting your ass handed to you. I used that same excuse whenever i lost a fight in high school. The on reason he was able to shove me in that lock certificate because im a gentleman. So in the buildup to tonights debate the main story was Kamala Harris versus joe biden. But because Corrie Booker has also been going after biden for the past couple of weeks shall tonights debate was set up for fireworks especially once we found out where everyone would be standing on that stage. Biden will find himself flanked by booker and harris. Biden standing in between two candidates who have targeted him most. Cory booker , kamal harris and racial inequality could be a very big discussion. Scwhroa biden is in an uncomfortable sandwich on that stage, he has on either side of him Kamala Harris and cory booker. Trevor yeah, joe biden, unluckily draw, cory booker, Kamala Harris, is he in the mid, the most raiksly charged oreo. I feel like joe boden on got on the stage and instinctively tried to lock his car doors, no, no attack. And if you tune into the debates hoping to see conflict t didnt take long for you to get your wish. Vice president bidens Campaign Calls your plan quote a have it every which way approach. Well, they are probably confused because they have not let it. It will be a public plan under my plan for medicare and a private plan under my plan for medicare. If you notice, there is no talk about the fact the plan in ten years will cost 3 trillion, you will lose your employerbased insurance. You cant beat President Trump with double talk on this plan. You are simply inaccurate in what you are describing. Your plan by contrast leaves out almost ten million americans. So i think that you should really think about what you are saying but be reflective and understand that the people of america want access to health care. Trevor thats right, two moneys into the debate and kamala was already removing her orings and biden was removing his hair plugs, oh its an o, its on now this time, this time biden and kamala were arguing bab and forth about who had a stronger Healthcare Plan am and compared to the previous scirm shall, there were a lot more civil as you saw. This is luke a couple fighting after the cops had told them to calm down, you know. Just like im trying to keep my cool here, but your Healthcare Plan aint shit just like your mama. laughter but other than that, other than that the Health Care Debate was pretty civil tonight. Again the democrats largely a he grood on the big picture of Getting Universal Health care. What they disagreed on was how to get there. Biden proposed polishing obama care and disrupting the system as little as possible. Kamala wanted a medicare plan that also incorporated something that would include private insurance and bill de blasio wanted to knock the whole thing down, you know, like he did to tokyo. So figure out who had the best plan, the democrats got down to the numbers. And i mean a lot of numbers. Lets talk about math, lets talk about the fact that the pharmaceutical companies and the Insurance Companies last year alone profited 72 billion. My plan costs 750 billion. That is what it costs. Not 30 trillion. That is 70 percent of what the government will collect in taxes over the next ten years. 20 of our economy, one out of every 5 spernt on health care. I dont know what math you do in new york. Done know what math you do in california, but i tell you, that is a lot of money. Trevor hey, i will tell you what kind of math we got in new york, number one and number two, asshole, thats the kind of math we got here. A i am going to be honest. This is the part of the debate where i think kem krats really need to get a whole lot better. No one at home can keep up with all of these numbers. 40 billion, 7 , 70 over continue years, 30 trillion, 3 trillion when you compound it, its too complicated, all right. It almost made me miss donald trump, yeah. Because when he does math he just says folks, were going to do numbers. Best numbers, big are numbers and everyone at home is yeah numbers, i guess there is numbers. You have to find a middle ground. But that was health care. Then came immigration. And just like last night the major question facing democrats was how would they deal with the crisis at the border. Most of them agreeing again that they would try and find a more humane way to treat Asylum Seekers and illegal immigrants. When they brought up president obamas record of mast deportation joe biden probably wished he could be have been de port. Vice president biden, i didnt hear your response when the issue came up with all those deportations am you are Vice President of the united states. I didnt hear whether you tried to stop them or not using your power, your influence in the white house. The president came along and is he the guy that came up about the idea, furs time ever, dealing with the dreamers. He put that in the law. I dont hear an answer from the Vice President , i am confused. Mr. Vice president , you want to be president of the united states. You need to be able to answer the tough questions. I guarantee you as you are debating donald trump, is he not going to let you off the hook. I was Vice President , i am not the president , i keep my recommendations in private, unlike you i would expect you to go a heads and say whatever you said privately with him, that is not what i do. Trevor hold up, did joe biden called bill de blasio a little ass snitch, that is what he said, right . Yeah. I hadnt realized biden was so true to the street. He is like mr. Mayor, unlike you a protect my neck because these bitches aint loyal, that is what i do. So this is where the debate got interesting. Bill de blasio sublger punches biden out nof where asking him why he let obama de port so many people. And just when bied sen trying to baffle the giants of new york, cory booker jumps in with the shiz. Mr. Vice president , you cant have it blot ways. You invoke president obama more than anybody this this campaign, you cant do it when st convenient and dodge it when it is not. Trevor considerree booker makes a good point, joe biden is good as use og bama when it helps but when it comes to something o 3w578a want great at. He is like obama, obama . Is that the irish guy, patty obama, i think i have brn to that pub. And that obama line was just the beginning. Because after that, quoree went on fum on attack mode. Senator booker called your new criminal justice remorm reform plan quote an inadequate solution to what is a raging cries nis our country unquote. Why is senator booker wrong. I think he is wrong. I think we should Work Together. He has a similar planment i think that we should change the way we look at prisons. We have a system right now that is broken. And if you want to compare records and frankly im shocked that you do, i am happy to do that. There is a thing in my community, are you dipping too koolaid and you dont even know the flavor. Trevor whoa. Yeah. You know what is cool about being black you can make up phrases and white people dont even know fts real. laughter we were much whatting and every white person just looked at me like is that a thing . Black people, we can say whatever, man, you better watch yourself because right now you deep frying a chicken but it aint got no skin. This is where cory was in his element. He had biden on the rope. And he was always going to have him on the rope. Because Vice President biden has been in politics for 50 years. He is bound to have more baggage than anyone else stvment not a fight he can win. Just when you thought that bied enwas the target of the night, Tulsi Gabbard comes up and slams kamala with a chair. Senator harris says she is proud of her record as a prosecutor and will be as were cuter president but im concerned about this record. She put over 1500 people in jail for marijuana violations and laughs about it when she was asked if she ever smoked marijuana. She blocked evidence she blocked evidence that would have freed an innocent man from death row. And she fought to keep bail system in place that impacts poor people in the worst kind of way. Trevor yeah, that was a rough moment for kamala. Because while she was trying to come after biden for his history on criminal justice, Tulsi Gabbard came after her for hers. Which isnt exactly the best record. And you could see kamala wasnt happy in this moment. She was about to be tulsi, let me tell you a story bay little girl who got her ass beat, and that little girl was you. So now you have got de blasio coming after biden, booker jumping in the middle, gabbard hitting kamala, it was almost like Quinten Tarantino wrote this part the debate, and just like yesterday, all the bigger candidates were fighting, the smaller candidates used the little time they will to try and break through with policy and ideas. And tonights Marianne Williamson, was colorado senator michael bennet. This is the fourth debate that we have had and the second time that we have been debating what people did 50 years ago with busing, when our schools are as segregated today as they were 50 years ago. applause i believe you can draw a Straight Line from slavery through jim crow, through the banking and the red lining to the mass incarceration that we were talking about on this stage a few minutes ago am but you know what other line i can draw, 88 percent of the people in our prisons dropped out of high school. Lets fix our School System and maybe we can fix prison pipeline that we have. Trevor okay . laughter say you what want about him but mr. Macky is right. Instead of spending half of the he can bait talking about laws written 50 years ago t would have been nice to hear more about how the Democratic Candidates plan to fix americas problems today. And i will be honest with you, it was really weird that the democrats allowed themselves to get side tracked by side beefs when they all also acknowledge that they have one common goal, it is beating public enemy number one. This pitting against progressive, against moderates, is unrealistic and the other doesnt care enough, that to me is dividing our party and de mol de moralizing us in face of the enemy. I would take any democrat on this stage over the current president of the united states. We cannot tear each other down, we have to focus on beating donald trump. Dont let the republicans divide this party against itself. We will make plaryk america better than it has ever been in the years to come, lets do that together t together. Its weird, everyone says that. They all said they want to beat donald trump. But here is the honest truth. If the democrats spend every debate destroying each other, by the time you imet to a oneonone with donald trump, he you will already have done his work for him. Will you get to the debate all discredited and he wont have to do ig in. Will be like guys so many numbers, so many numbers. Well be right back. applause see . Romance isnt dead but it is here. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Why are you here . Why are you here . Why are either of you here . hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. The hazelnut spread m msve all been wspokescandy clapping audience gasps oh my what did you do . . giggles we ate him. Introducing a boost to your workout water. Electrolytes, meet vitamins b, c and e. With no artificial sweeteners, this is the new propel vitamin boost. Trevor welcome back to the daily show. There is a whole other event after the debate called the spin room, where the candidates try to spin their debate performance to the press. Now usually they only allow respected members of the media inside the spin room which is why we were surprised when they gave access to our very own Michael Kosta, and here is his report. Here we are in did he troit, michigan, across from the fox theater, im sorry, im just trying to shoot something. Sorry. Again. Here we are, from the fox youre still in our shot, were across, in detroit, the same. Your first time on the job. As i was saying, were in detroit michigan covering the after party of the democratic debate. Now here is where we, the real reporters can ask candidates whatever questions we want arent get so close that we can actually smell what they had for dinner. You want to know what bernies breathe smells like, stick with me, welcome to the spin room. Since this was my first time at the debates i wanted to hobnob with a few of the 500 press teej us journalists myself included allowed in this room, Chris Matthews is right behind me. Is this your first spin room here or first spin room. Huh, actually quite quiet in person. What are you going to ask delaney. Why you. Is that kind of seems like a dumb question. If you ask me. I kind of like swal well. He dropped out im pretty sure. What . I think he dropped out. Did Eric Swalwell drop out. What . What the [bleep], what the [bleep] is doing here, did you know Eric Swalwell dropped out . What are you going to ask klobuchar, for instance . When you were president , would you bring back a pet to the white house . You get one question and that is what you are going to ask . Yes. What, is this your notebook, where you keep your good ideas. Yes. Now i was more prepared than ever. Welcome back to the cnn democratic president ial debate. The debates were starting and i was ready to kick ass and show these clowns what real reporting was. What do you say we get this spin room spinning mr. Bull october, mr. Bullock, story, well, now its over. All these media personnel trying to get time with the candidates but i have a secret weapon, gets over here, jeffrey. Smile for the camera. You turn down a kid you are the candidate that hates kids. All right, lets go, buddy. Come on. Im still the star. Beto you looked ted cruz in the eyes, how do we know youre not blind. Senator warren, even philosophy majors . What about speech, communication, didnt they make their own bed . Mr. Hickenlooper, you were the governor of colorado, do you personally know where i could get some weed here. No. I have no idea. Come on. I sure. Tim knee john ryan s america ready to have a president with three first names and no last niem. Were going to find out. He laughed but i got to the heart of it, and that is what Good Journalism does. Mr. Delaney, you are polling in last place, your staff is asking to you leave, do you have a comment . Neither of those are true, so my comment is you need to do your work a little better. That is how you do journalism, whooo the author of this book is right behind me. Where is my secret weapon where is jeffrey . That slippery son of a bitch got to her first. Do you have a pet. I had a cat and the cat died. That kids took my question. That kid took my question. I mean these kids, theyre ruthless. Jeffrey, i thought you were on my side, buddy. Going through the hell of the spin room can rip people apart, thats for sure. Oh man, what a day, huh, jeffrey . Guess we are got to go to the bar and hash it out. That is what i like to do. But i had a feeling jeffrey and i, we were going to be just fine. I vent allly got to talk to everybody i wanted to, what about you. Yes. I didnt get warren though. I did. What . applause . Trevor Michael Kosta and jeffrey. Well be right back. We have to Work Together as a team. Thats right. Pretty disappointed. Buckle up. There he is. The inlaws have moved in with us. And our Adult Children are here. So we save by using tide. Which means we use less. Three generations of clothes cleaned in one wash. Anybody seen my pants . 1 stain and odor fighter, 1 trusted. Its got to be tide. For all of historys creators if thand pioneers,party without question, that party would be thrown by the father of tequila. Cuervo tradicional. Since 1795. The father of tequila. Ooohhhh we hide hotel names so you can score 4star hotels at 2star prices. Hotwire hotwire. Com packs carbs to refuel and electrolytes to replenish so you can bring the heat. Nothing beats gatorade. Wireless Network Claims are americas most reliable network. The nations largest and most reliable network. The best network is even better . Best, fastest, best. Enough. Sprints doing things differently. Theyre offering a new 100 total satisfaction guarantee. I mean i think Sprints Network and savings are great, but dont just take my word for it. Try it out and decide for yourself. Switch and get both an unlimited plan with hulu and one of the newest phones included for just 35 a month. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. Welcome back to the callee show, coming you to live on debate night, my guest is a democratic strategist and pollster a member of barack obama polling team, please welcome cornell bell cher. So lets get straight into it, tonight was a night where most people were looking to see ho joe bied enwould recover from his first debate performance. Do you think he did a good job . I think joe found the magic again. I think he woke up, i dont know if he took some uppers or something but he certainly was flat the first debate but this he debate it seemed like he was prepared, ready. They came at him with a lot of punches but he gave as good as he got this evening. I think he was the adult in the room that a lot of people thought he would be in the first debate, this debate he came back and had a solid point. He really had an interesting tactic. The first time around he seemed surprised by what had happened but even from the beginning, when he came out he said to kamala take it easy on me. That was him going i know what is about to happen in a way. Question. When it came to records it was interesting they brought up his record but then he brought up his record. Yes. Is a record or good or bad thing to have in this situation. The good news for his o points is he has a long record. The bad news for his opponent is he has a long record. He has a long record of actually accomplishing things and doing things. The whole thing that it is he brought out the fact that he supported the Hyde Amendment a. Sow does have a solid record but there are some things there that certainly are problematic, certainly around the crime bill but i thought the interesting back and forth between him and senator harris, you have to be careful because obviously she has a bit of a glass on the crime bill as well. Tulsi was the punch of the night, it was a punch of the night and she was staggered by that punch. That was a line i thought also cory booker may have had the blackest moment in president ial primary history. I dont think anyone has brought koolaid out at a debate. Never anything as black as that in primary history in debate history. Trevor when you look at Kamala Harris, why do you think that moment was so severe, joe biden gets attack but his support among black voters remains strong. With kamala it does feel like that say weakness, why . It is interesting because and by the way, i will remind people that obama started off at this point, he was not winning africanamerican voters, he was 30 points behind everywhere. But africanamerican voters are such a large bloc of the electorate and will you notice that in her attack on the first debate which she rose in the poll, it didnt come from africanamerican voters. Trevor interesting. You know, so i think there is also a part, she has to be careful. I cant say this on television, right, but if i were sizing her i viezinger i would say there are stereotypes of black women and some crew cues you have to be careful because it turns people off and its not fair, but i think there were moments where she flashed anger tonight and i done think that it t is particularly helpful. Trevor that is an interesting point. But i didnt a that. Trevor no, no, you didnt, were not live, there is no one here and no one seeing this. But it is is an honest and interesting point, there is a double stad where if you are a man and you get angry they go the passion. Strong. Trevor but kamala has to, you know, figure out how to strad el that line between showing her passion while not coming across as any of the stereotypes. And African American women have it very tough, news flash, africanamerican women have it it really tough. Trevor lets talk about some of the other candidates on the night who are trying to have their moment. Without do you think stood out. Everyone said Marianne Williamson won yesterday, i think it is crazy but there are moments that stand out, were you surprised she had a tat, i thought a karkts of thought of course she las a cat, of course she has a cat. He is holding plg hand. But he did have a breakout, i think inslee had moments but yang, i think yang, i want my 1,000 a night, 1,000 a month, right, but he also got very big applause lines but some of those were clear nee clearly in the mode where i have to attack, have i to make a breakthrough and some seemed desperate but some of those will not make the next debate. Trevor i used the term some of them will not make the next debate. Who had the breakout . You know, the did de blasio help himself. He came out as new york cop and went after biden but does he have a breakoutment i think cory booker needed a brokeout moment because he has been sort of flat. And i think will not question whether considerree book certificate black enough again after this debate. Trevor which is a win, that to me is a win. When we look at the larger narrative, one thing that concerns me and people who watched the previous debates was the narrative coming too the main debates was democrats are not here to fight against each other it will be a battle of ideas to present to america who should be the next leader. It feels like that has quickly di solved into you are the worst, you are the worst, here is your bad record. Does this work for democrats by putting them and keeping them in the news or hurt them by breaking them apart before the main race. I dont want to beat up on cnn. But i am going to beat up on clrks nn. D cnn. The way they set it up, they almost set it up so it would be contentious. The way they asked questions sort of directed back at other candidates, it set up a fore mat for fights, which can be good ratings but i think the substance of the he can bait was her, we were 20 or 30 minutes if on the Health Care Debate and we didnt really have a great understanding of Peoples Health care positions because they were de fending and attacking. I done think that was particularly helpful and i certainly hope we wont see that againment i would rather for them to ask questions, okay, tell us about your Healthcare Plan and why is your Health Care Better than everyone elses. If someone else wants to pivot back in on that, that is finement but dont. Trevor interesting, thank you for being on the show, great having you here, cornell bell cher, everybody. Well be back we will be back after this. [ alarm sound ] [ alarm sound ] hello. What is happening . What is all of this . Move everybody get out of here whyd they kidnap bunch of normal folk like us . Theres no escape. 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Trevor thats our show for tonight, thank you so much for tuning in, lights out with david spade is coming up next, but here it is your moment of zen. First of all the president is a racist. We can no longer allow a White Nationalist to be in the white house. He has done nothing except try to beat people down instead of lift people up. So the first thing that i am going to do when im president is im going to clorox the oval o im goin down to south park, gonna have myself a time Friendly Faces everywhere

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