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Are you a robot? If you are, it is pointless saying yes when that answer is going to block you

Bikram Vohra is a humor writer.
You need to get into a website, they ask you if you are a robot. That very question indicates they expect the robot to answer. Now if you are a robot with a wicked bent of mind and you do not mind lying, cheating, stealing (and being occasionally tempted to swipe a fluffy white cotton dressing gown from a hotel room) and breaking robot codes of conduct you say no. Pointless saying yes, I am a robot when that answer is going to block you. So, you have conned the system though no one has ever explained this violent hostility to robots or what dramatic event happens if one of them sneaks past this first barricade. ....

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Perils of the password: My online banking account has been frozen so often I call it ice cube

Bikram Vohra is a humor writer.
Amazing isn’t it that people come to your home or office, plonk themselves and say, hey what’s your password, I need to connect, don’t have data. Why would I give you my password when the whole idea is to keep it secret? And now that our lives are held at ransom by this internet insurgent and we cower in fear of the fallout of forgetting it why would I spread it like butter?
Of course, that courtesy can only be extended if I recall it, seeing as how passwords are now so complex and demanding. In the early days they were simple freedom fighters and you got away with your birth date and the first three initials of one kid and the first three of the second and if you had three kids it was the first two letters and you came up with Sitaam or Nayka, and if you were smarter than the great unwashed masses you did first three and last three letters like Nananks or Ambix. Even then the password was a relatively benign pa ....

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Zooming into trouble: When grandma gave it good to the boss, he who had shushed down her home

Bikram Vohra is a humor writer.
The wonderful world of remote working. Lawyer Rod Ponton fetches up on the split screen in the New York 394th district court’s virtual case as a cat because he didn’t remove the Zoom filter and the pretty kitty is a tough one to get rid of even though it is a decade old gimmick. Republican Congressman Tom Emmer zoomed into a House committee meeting upside down. We all know the travails of getting this act together and synching audio and coming to terms with mute and unmute and entering the chat room or exiting it. ....

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