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The Atlantic ” is a weekly column by Arthur Brooks, tackling questions of meaning and happiness. For years, I was haunted by a fear of failure. I spent my early adulthood as a professional French hornist, playing in chamber-music ensembles and orchestras. Classical music is a perilous business, relying on absolute precision. Playing the French horn, prone as it is to missing notes, is a virtual high-wire act in every concert. I could go from hero to goat within a few mistakes during a solo. I lived in dread, and it made my life and work misery. Fear of failure is not just a problem for French hornists. Looking bad in front of others is arguably the most common dread people face. This explains why, for example, researchers have found that public speaking is college students’ most common fear; some scholars have famously asserted that people fear it even more than death. And dread about failing doesn’t just afflict the young or inexperienced: According to a 2018 su ....
A revision of this piece was published in 2007 among the pages of The Vagrant Literary Quarterly under the title Prodigy, or the Perils of Earnest Praise. For this the author was woefully uncompensated. YOU: (You commence with an open-ended query) ME: Because it wasn’t in me, really. YOU: (Leaning forward, inquisitive assertion.) ME: No, that’s not it at all. The thing is, see, that musicians – real musicians, not some kid who takes piano lessons with the lady down the street for a few years – musicians, have this thing, have a sense for mode, and harmony, and pitch. I did not have this sense. You could play a series of notes, a musical phrase, and I wouldn’t be able to begin to identify which notes you just played. ....