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I Was a Teenage Beauty Pageant Loser


Illustration by Mariah Llanes,
Updated 15:36, Feb. 2, 2021 | Published 14:30, Feb. 2, 2021
The straps on the silver high heels dug into my feet, the prelude to the welts that would come later. Under the bright lights, my skin threatened to sweat off layers of concealer and foundation. My legs were shaking and my fingertips ached from a set of acrylic nails. By the time I arrived on the stage in my evening gown, after a half-hearted opening dance number and a fumbled interview, I already knew I had lost the beauty pageant.
In 2010, I had just started my junior year of high school when I decided to enter the Ontario qualifier of the Miss Teen Canada pageant. With my short, scrawny build; thick-rimmed glasses; and jet-black hair that I flat-ironed daily, I didn’t think of myself as particularly beautiful or popular. Instead, I prided myself on my good grades. While I dabbled in group sports like swim team and softball, I was more likely to be found buried in a ....

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Bittersweet | Quill and Quire

Indo-Guyanese Canadian Natasha Ramoutar's debut collection of poems charts paths through diasporas and ends in a celebratory uplifting of Toronto suburb ....

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"Grief Demands Compassion": An Interview with Emma Hansen – PRISM international


Home > Interviews > “Grief Demands Compassion”: An Interview with Emma Hansen
Photo by Aaron Vandenbrink
Emma Hansen’s debut memoir
Still ebbs and flows around the reader, much like its recurring motif of water. At times, it brims with heartbreak; at other times, it is tender and overflowing with love. Hansen guides readers through her journey of grief after discovering her first child, Reid, has died––and she will have to deliver him stillborn––and then through the aftermath of her mourning. 
Natasha Ramoutar: There is an overarching water metaphor woven throughout
Still
––grief coming in “waves,” for example. What were your intentions with this repeated motif? Was the motif added in during the editing process or was it apparent in the first draft? ....

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