âMan is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problemsâ â Epictetus
My imagination has been the root of more problems than have ever existed on their own. Iâm not sure when it began, but I think that my female intuition figures in there somewhere, which has given my worry an air of credibility.
I am not at all what most would consider a worrier, though. I use common sense to deal with most daily problems. Itâs the problems that come into my mind as Iâm lying down to sleep that become those âimagined anxieties.â When my head hits the pillow, I can often worry a problem into existence if it doesnât appear on its own.
âThere are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isnât true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.â â Soren Kierkegaard
The word is gaslighting. It has been a new one in my vocabulary over the past few years of sometimes difficult discussions with friends and family, but while the word might be new to me, the action certainly is not.
Kierkegaard was right â believing what is not true is a sure way to be fooled, but unless we know ourselves, we are as likely to be the gaslighters as we are to believe them.
âI am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.â â J.R.R. Tolkien,â The Return of the Kingâ
The news came as a great surprise. My husbandâs very dear lifelong friend. He had been sick, Stage 4 lung cancer. He was so close to the next trial, but chemotherapy weakened him too much.
And my husband and several friends are left with funny and meaningful memories. They might not have gone to the edges of the Earth like Sam and Frodo, but they shared some great adventures. We always hear of âgirlfriendsâ and how important they are, but whether Bernie and Mark or Frodo and Sam, we can be certain âbrofriendsâ are important, too.