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Troy Kingi on fatherhood: 'You just never went to men for problems'

“We were all super close. I suppose as far as musically, him and my whole Kingi are all quite musical so unconsciously, I suppose I was being inspired all the time – or kind of nudged in a direction without even knowing.”
When his dad disappeared – between Auckland and Rotorua around Christmas, 2005 – Kingi says he was lucky to still have male role models to look to. Those men have played huge roles in his life.
LAWRENCE SMITH/Stuff
Musician Troy Kingi is a father of five tamariki.
“A big role model of mine was my stepfather. He s a policeman, and he s been there since I was super young, five years old,” he says. ....

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New Zealand men don't have to be stuck in roles that risk harm to themselves and others | New Zealand

And while we did talk to an All Black – Karl Tu’inukuafe, one of the largest players in the game at nearly 140kg – he wasn’t a stereotypical muddied oaf. Karl’s more of a great bear hug of decency and vulnerability, who runs old fashioned values alongside sophisticated emotional intelligence and an ancient Toyota.
Men like Tu’inukuafe showed how traditions associated with masculinity aren’t all bad. Māori leaders, such as Professor Pou Temara, of the Tūhoe iwi (people), a modern day tohunga – or guardian of Māori tradition and custom – have long been concerned with Māori losing connections to the culture. He says an absence of traditional culture and a breakdown of hapū (tribal) connection has helped fuel issues of toxic masculinity. ....

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He'll Be Right: How worried should we be about porn?

This report deals with sexual topics – including abuse – that some readers may find distressing.
Claire Meehan studies pornography. More specifically, she’s interested in the place porn has in the culture of young people and how it’s affecting their lives.
By “young people”, she means very young. Not young first-home buyers, or young adults. Live-at-home, pocket-money, mum makes their sandwiches young. Young. She talks to those who are not even teenage, interviewing 12-year-olds around the country about their porn use.
Stuff-co-nz
Most young people will have viewed porn before leaving school, the censor says.
Her current target age group is youths aged 12-16. So young, it s illegal to supply pornography to them. Yet Meehan hasn’t struggled to find young people to interview. ....

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He'll be Right: There is no 'essence of man' – masculinity's a contradictory mess

LAWRENCE SMITH/Stuff
John Daniell, left, and Glenn McConnell host Stuff s new podcast about modern masculinity, He ll Be Right.
OPINION: I can’t recall if I was in the middle of interviewing a rape victim or writing about the gender pay gap when my son told me he didn’t like girls.
He’s 5, and it was on the way home from school.
“Why not?” I asked. “I just don’t like them,” he replied.
“I’m a girl,” I pointed out. “What about your cousin? She’s a girl. What about your mates, Evey and Wairere? What about Grandma?” ....

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Review: He'll Be Right deftly challenges what it means to be a modern man

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January 21, 2021
John Daniell, left, and Glenn McConnell host Stuff s new podcast about modern masculinity, He ll Be Right. (Photo: Lawrence Smith)
Review: He’ll Be Right deftly challenges what it means to be a modern man
Review
Tackling topics such as rugby and body image, Stuff’s latest podcast shines a much-needed light on Aotearoa’s complex relationship with masculinity, writes Trevor McKewen, author of the book Real Men Wear Black.
I wasn’t sure what to think when two episodes of the new local podcast He’ll Be Right landed in my inbox. My daughter sent them to me and asked me to listen and share my views. ....

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