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And i ve been incarcerated ever since.qerí i was so young, i just felt like my life is over. i ve got a life sentence. it s over. i came to prison and started into the same behavior. i was like for the first nine years, i was using whatever i . could, drugs, prison alcohol. just trying to do anything that i could to escape the reality of my situation and what i had done.,óti you know and that, and it s just self-medicating the same way i was in the street. all the pain, everything that $o came up for me that was my solution, to self-medicate. that s what i did. in his struggle to conquer addiction, rusty discovered a i ve been in 12 step programs for, oh, geez, probably about 18 years now, 19 ....