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- you know what i like? i like sichuan. man, i l love the fofood here. you u know what t else i li? tortrturing my f friend éric c ripert. i don n t know whyhy. maybybe it s bececause he s so dadamn nice. [exhaleses] you u high, man?n? you look k . - i am.. but i likeke it. - yeyeah? - you coululd pretty m much tetear his toeoenails outt anand he d stitill find sosometg nice to say about you. he s s so politete, yet t if you looook closel, and i i do, his didiscomfot can bebe exquisitete. [blowingng nose] - he s t the devil.. look a at him. [u[upbeat rockck music] both: i took k a walk through ththis beautifulul world felt the e cool rainn on my y shoulder found somomething gooood inin this beaututiful worldld i felt t the rain getting g colder - l la, la - sha l la, la, la,a, la sha l la, la, la,a, la - sha l la, la, laa - sha la,a, la, la, l la sha l la, la, la,a, la, la - it s t the spicy,, sensnsualist heaeartland of a all the thihings i l
wowow, you tooook it serio. - yoyou become me anand more chihinese. [a[all laughining] [upbeat music] - - ooh, , ooh, ooh,, ooh, o ooh, ooh [h[horns honkiking] yeah-h-eh herere we are,, arms a around eachch other white scecene, prpretty lighthts all over s snow is falalling and everyoyone seems i in lo - [s[speaking nanative langug] - santa s s sleigh bellls riringing in t the distancn i m waiaiting for m my miste anand kisses - happppy new yearar. - i i ll remembmber this mt for the rerest of my l life - - early chriristmas, - oh, my g gosh. this is frfrom albert.t. - it t s christmamastime - wewe have a rerequest from thehe audience.e. [drumsmsticks clicicking rhrhythmicallyly] [u[upbeat rockck music] boboth: [singiging in a foreigign languagege] - s sha la, la,a, la, la sha la,a, la, la, l la - s sha la, la,a, la - sha la,a, la, la, l la s sha la, la,a, la, la, l a [seagulllls squawkining] [instrumumental versrsion f g god bless
[dramatic orchestral music] [gunshots]s] - as farar back as i coululd rememberer, i alalways wanteted toto be a gangngster. - g goodfellalas is likek, f fasten yourur seatbeltst. i m gonna kick the shit out of you for 2 1/2 hours, and d you re gononna love it [glass shahatters] [laughghter] - therere have beeeen soso many gangngster movieis and soso many mob b movies. is it t really posossible that in 191990 martin n scorse will be abable to makeke a gangr movie e that has s something t y thatat hasn t alalready beenen d a millioion times? - itit s gonna b be a good s s. [laughghter] - - and you wawatch the momo, anand you re l like, yeaha - ththank you, s sir. - - all right,t, see you l la. thanks.. - - what are y you doing?? you re l leaving youour car? - he watchches the carar for . - we t tried to cacapture the exububerance of f that w. it s s dangerousus and ththreatening,g, but theyey re havingng a wondnderful timeme. - henrnry, this isis with mrmr. tony ovev
and ththen twist i it somewhe. i just can t believe the way people are. whatat is it witith humanity? what k kind of a w world dodo we live i in? andederson: you re notot alone, ulultimate. i think ththat s whatt the cocomic s sayiying. rereality is t the fodder r fory because it s what we have. so wherere else can n we find cy if not i in real lifife? david: as opposed to what, fake life? you know. life is real. yeah, we got that. first, a philosophical question. have you ever noticed when you re driving that anyone who s driving slower than you is an idiot? [ laughter, applause ] and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac! you see a million things a day in your life, anand they allll go onon the back k burner of your r six-burnerer wolf, ridiculoususly priced d mind. a comedianan comes outut and brs it to the front buburner. i dodon t like other peopople s showewers. there s always a problem with temperature adjustment. there s always a little hair stuck on the wa