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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Dogs help us defeat coronavirus. Big businesses are taking Small Business money and President Trump protects your right to get killed. Welcome to the daily distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city, to your couch, somewhere in the world, this is the daily distancing show with trevor noah cheers and applause trevor if you reach the noint quarantine when youre arguing about what your last argument is about, you probably need something to cheer you up. The best way is with a little ray of sunshine. From the beginning of time, dogs have been a mans best friend. They give us companionship, they assist the blind, and they dont make fun of us, even though theyve seen how bad we are at sex, we do it the wrong way. Dogs might be coming to the rescue again. Dogs can be trained to detect diseases like cancer and parkinsons in patient because of the change in body odor. Resea ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Displefer day, before we turn to the serious stories, we like to look at the stories that put the us in coronavirus, in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. First up, thanks to this pandemic, government officials are highly strung. They have to keep people indoors, they have to keep hospitals running, and they have to take all their bribes over venmo, which is really tough, because you have to write in the memo what the money is for. Well, this week in kentucky, the governor was busy trying to stop unemployment scams, and in the process, he made an unlikely discovery. Unfortunately, its going to take a little bit of time on these, because a couple of bad apples can make this challenge that much more difficult. For instance, we had somebody apply for unemployment for tupac shakur here in kentucky. And that person probably thought they were bei ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

New york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor although things may seem dark right now, its important to remember theres some sort of light up ahead and, yes, that light may just be the world on fire, but beyond that light is another lying. And that second light is what i like to call a ray of sunshine. Lets kick it off with the heros of the pandemic. Since black panther and thor and other losers only work in avengers movies, weve come to realize our true heroes are the essential workers who are keeping people alive and fed and, yes, they might not seem as cool as batman and spiderman, but all of that is about to change. Mattel is honoring essential workers on the frontline to have the covid 19 fight with a special edition line of Action Figures. They are called thank you heroes. The 16 collectible
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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Of babies. Ha crazy what were all learning in quarantine. Anyway, on tonights episode the hot gossip about kim jong un, Jordan Klepper gets advice from survivalists, and President Trump builds a wall around the entire country. Welcome to the daily distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor with all the negative coronavirus news going around, its important to remember that the world is not ending, its just on pause a very weird pause. You know like when you pause a movie and then the actors face is stuck in a weird position like so because this is just a pause, its important to remember to smile. And for that, we turn to our segment a ray of sunshine. Trevor our first ray of sunshine involves zoom, the
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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

I just miss you so much. I missed you too. Really . Yeah. Well, can i kiss you . Yeah. Ok. Maybe thats not the best one. Keep reading. It was. Maybe it wasnt. Oh, thank god. I had a horrible nightmare that i was stuck in america with gabe. Oh [laughter] no, thats not the one i was thinking of. Keep going. I know what it smells like, but i didnt roll in anything. Its from listening to all of gabes bull [bleep]. [laughter] isnt this the perfect romantic getaway, erin . Sitting on a Desert Island in dog costumes . Im gabe, and im a weirdo. [laughs] thats pretty good. Gabes mom. Hmm. Gabes mom . Wait, tall woman, looks like gabe . Yeah, i banged her. Yeah[laughter] go. Trevor hey, everybody. Whats going on . Welcome to another episode of the daily social distancing show. Im trevor noah, and today is officially day 44 of us staying inside the hosue to try and kick corona virus ass. Yeah, thats right, corona, i said it. And heres your qu ....

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