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COM The Daily Show March 29, 2016

They got em, its over i love you. I love you, too [all crying] so wait, thats it . What about the chinese invasion . I really dont care anymore, butters. You see, ive learned something today. As americans, our fear of seeing another country become powerful can turn us into monsters. Watching how crazy you went, watching you just shoot people in the dick like that, it made me realize that i want america to be safe, but not at the cost of losing its dignity. Id rather us be chinese than a nation of unethical dickshooters. You think about it. I cant believe they put em in jail. I thought that movie was pretty good. Captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is. cheering, applause welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Youre in for a treat tonight. Our guest joining us, theo james is here cheering ....

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COM The Daily Show March 18, 2016

Ive created a monster. Go away, go away. Bud rudd. I dont get it. Democrats like him. Republicans like him. Why wont the republicans even consider him . They simply do not believe, they say, that a president in this heated of an election cycle who is a lame duck should be able to nominate somebody. The decision the senate announced weeks ago remains about a principle and not a person. The senate will continue to observe the biden rule. Trevor Mitch Mcconnell seems like a bit of a dick. laughter well, just in principle, not as a person. laughter the biden rule isnt the rule. It was a proposal in a speech that biden gave in 1992, where he argued against considering a Supreme Court nominee during that election year. So, yeah, dont get me wrong. Biden messed up, but its not a rule. Just because you propose something, doesnt make it a rule. And that includes tonightue dont have to ....

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COM The Daily Show March 29, 2016

Welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Youre in for a treat tonight. Our guest joining us, theo james is here cheering, applause theo james. But first things first. Happy st. Patricks day, everybody. cheering, applause yes. Yeah. I have to be honest, i dont really know much about st. Patrick, uh, but judging by the way people honor him, his most famous miracle must have been turning nine pints of beer into ten pints of vomit. laughter uh. Apparently. Apparently, this is supposed to be a religious holiday. Now, im no biblical scholar, but i dont remember jesus telling his followers to commit literally every sin possible laughter until their bodies shut off. Thats not something i remember. Uh, look, obviously, the truth is that st. Patricks day isnt very big in africa. Like, you know, youre not gonna get a nigerian guy whos like, ah, today everyone is irish. laughter uh. In america, though. In america, though a lot ....

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COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore March 29, 2016

Jussie smollett from empire. First, guys, we have to talk about a bizarre story out in minnesota. On wednesday diners add joes crab shack received an unpleasant surprise when they saw a picture of who black men being lynched as decoration next to their table. Larry its true. The picture was taken from 1985 and joes crab shack had a funny caption that read, all i said is i didnt like the gumbo. Thats the problem with decorate being in American History. If youre going to keep it 100, a lot of American History aint to appetizing. You have to keep it 100. Now, joes crab shock pulled the offending picture but the replacements arent better like nothings going to keep me from cole slaw. Thats wrong. Or we asked for root beer. Cmon guys. I like my jumbalaya spicy but this is ridiculous. I agree. That went too far. I agree with you guys. Oh, man, seems like weve gone a couple minu ....

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KNTV Today March 16, 2016

A white man with a lot of support from outside interest groups. The whole calculus is to try to nominate someone who will be difficult for Senate Republicans to oppose. As you know, the senate is in republican hands. Theyve said they will not consider any nominee by president obama. They say its a choice that should be up to the president. Merrick garland is a former prosecutor. Hes a prosecutor and worked closely on the oklahoma bombing case and the uni bomber case. When he was at the Justice Department he has a considerable following among many members and is well liked and well respected. The hope of the white house, of course, is to get a confirmation while president obama is still in office but the fall back for the administration is if that doesnt happen, could they at least get a vote if a democrat is elected president in november before the president finally l ....

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