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[ cheers and applause ] kat: i m kat timpf in for greg gutfield. it is friday. you know what that means. let s welcome tonight s guests. in his free time he enjoys reading, cooking, burning villages with his cult. fox news contributor tom shillue. she won t shoot off her mouth, she follows gun safety rules. fox news contributor katie pavlich. hip material makes audiences think this man is not well. actor and comedian scott capurro. and he looks like every guy ever inside your local cigar lounge, tv writer and producer rob long. okay. before we get to some news stories, let s do this. greg s leftovers. mmm. kat: time for leftovers, i read the jokes we used this week. like greg, it is my first time reading these. let s go. last week, new york representative george santos was expelled from congress. george tassays he plans to retu to new york where he lives with his roommates, elvis and big foot, because he lies. in an interview with rachel maddow former gop congress ....
[applause] greg: happy wednesday, everyone. [laughter] greg: yes, control yourselves. remember back in grade school when the teacher would leave the room and tell everyone to behave while she was gone, of course, the second she left the room went wild. that s how i got my first tattoo. i would show you but the fcc doesn t allow frontal nudity, so it s great what the teacher got, right? but remember how after a while it would get ugly. the bullying and fights would start. things would get tossed around the room. by things, i mean me. when the teacher came back you were sort of relieved. you knew your class needed a grown-up to keep things from chaos which brings us to america. can someone please call the teacher back into the room? not so they can sleep with their students, although that helps. but to save us from the madness. every weekend we re seeing the same stories of violent mobs disrupting and destroying our cities. it makes me remember the good ole days whe ....
welcome to hannity . these are all the only normal people in new york. thank you all for coming. tonight, illegal immigrants are literally thinking your president joe biden as senate democrats are now poised to abandon ukraine all in a desperate bid to stop a border security bill from becoming law. we will revealed the extreme measures that some democrats are willing to take in order to keep your southern border wide open. plus the far left had america s once prestigious universities like harvard. we have a young kid from harvard in the studio audience. it is now worse than ever. three pompous college presidents testified that threats of genocide or calls for global islamic wore are no big deal depending on the context. but don t dare say anything nice about donald trump on a college campus because you will likely get kicked off that campus. right on cue you have the woke privilege college students from harvard working as interns at joe s white house. the interns. you ....
i m ayman in new york. start right now. have a good night. a good night. (wind chime dinging) (wat splashing) - when i would go see her, i used to stand by her door, and if she was looking the other way, i would stand there and say, terri, it s mommy. she would turn right around and look at me, okay? right at me, and nobody believed me. well, that s their problem. (gentle choral music) she was there. she could hear me. she knew i loved her. she wanted to be there. (gentle choral music) hi sweetheart. hi. it doesn t matter what was wrong if she just laid there for the rest of her life. all i wanted to do was love her and take care of her. hi babe. but then everything changed. terri. - [interviewer] you got a letter in the mail. do you remember what the letter said? - just that they wanna kill my daughter. (dramatic music) - [news reporter] the battle over terri schiavo has come to involve state judges, federal judges, the supreme court, the congress, and even the presi ....
- - i don t knknow how to dese jerry jacobson. jerry had a way about him. they re either gonna love him, or they re gonna hate him. there s no in-between. he couldld snap inin a millisecocond anand you don t even know why he snapped. my kids s did not get alalong with h him. he laid hands on em more times than i knew about. [dramatic c music] - jejerry jacobson was actually my stepfather. you know, he was prone to have a short, short, fuse and a a pretty badad temper. ththe most vivid memory y i hav: we werere in the b basement. i i can t rememember what the i issue was.. seememed insigninificant to me atat the time.e. and jerrrry justst kind of l lost it. he pickeked my brother up by the h head and wawas, li, bouncicing his heaead off the e. and d i was in t the room juju. kikind of more scared and hopig it didn t turn towards me cauause i didn n t understatat at the timime. - i i stepped inin between t m and d i told micichael, my oldesest one, to r run out thehe ....