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Focusing On Your Kid's Bad Behavior Won't Help Them Reach Their True Potential: Here Are 6 Things to Do Instead

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Credit:
Priscilla Gragg
A woman I counseled named Claire came to me because she was going through a hard time with her son, Daniel. Within minutes of entering a room, the 7-year-old would break or spill something. Claire trailed after him, warning him to slow down. When disaster struck, she yelled at him and sent him for a time-out, which he sometimes agreed to take. It seems like he s running rampant just to piss me off, she said. She registered only the disobedience. My son loves to give me a hard time. My worst fear is that he s always going to be like this. ....

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How Do I Get My Child to Stop Repeating Bad Behavior From Others?

I will start with giving your family
some benefit of the doubt: your daughter copying these behaviors does not really hurt anyone. Some families do not even classify curse words as off limits, arguing this is a natural part of language and making some words out of bounds is unnecessary. Passing gas on grandma? (Is grandma OK with this?) As part of the timeless appeal of potty humor, it s a joke that every child I know under 7 finds hysterical. And of course, plenty of adults can momentarily regress to a 4-year-old mentality. The shirt up for spring break, however, is definitely highly problematic for reasons that would take us down a long path of messaging about bodies and boundaries. ....

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