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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Fire. Does it remind you of something . Reminds you of this, right . Bark. One more thing does it remind you of something . Reminds you of this, right . Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, ocial distancing, plus stephen welcomes trevor noah, and musical guests willie, lukas and micah nelson, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody. Welcome to a late show. I am still your host Stephen Colbert. My crew is still one of my children. Tonight it is my son john. Hello, john. You have to be louder than that. Youre not micd. Hello stephen there you go. John is doing his homework right now. Hes in school about to graduate. What homework are you doing now . Im reading beloved by toni morrison. Stephen beloved by toni morrison. ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Opera slapping finals. Then at 6 00, its the first time water skier invitational. And our primetime lineup is just as strong, starting with divorced dad calisthenics. Followed by onland santa rafting, the westminster banana ondog show. And finally, at 10 00, the best of old man hideandseek. Espn weve boldly loosened our definition of sport. I never thought id say this, but i miss baseball. crying announcer its a late show with stephen colbert. Tonight, total authoritarian plus, stephen welcomes dr. Jon lapook and Cate Blanchett. Featuring jon batiste and stay homein. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its stephen colbert. Stephen hello hey and welcome to a late show. I am your host, stephen colbert. Its nice to see you. I cant see you. I would like to see you. I miss you. I know you get to see me, but this is a oneway street. And i really like my audience. I like the connection. I like the give and take. I like the energy ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Tonight, earth dazed. Plus, stephen welcomes nathan lane and chef jose andres. Homin. and now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert. Stephen welcome to a late show. Im steve coalbert. Happy earth day, everyone. Today is a big one, because its he 50th earth day. The big 50. And, i gotta say, earth is still looking good. Shes just getting hotter every year, even with the receding glaciers and putting on a little water weight around the coastline. And earth is having kind of a moment right now, because with people staying home, the earth is turning wilder and cleaner, with reduced co2, better air quality, and animals roaming the city streets. Turns out the best present for earth day is the same as the best present for mothers day time away from her children. Just get all the unruly humans out of her hair so mother earth can sit in a bubble bath and watch outlander. Now, while humans stay inside, the worlds cities a ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

U. S. Is doing far better than any other country when it comes to wherever you go whatever you do i will right here waiting for you whatever it takes oh how my heart breaks i will be right here waiting for you announcer its the late show with stephen colrttot,e b. Plus ste wemen lithgow and cookbook author Allison Roman, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. Live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen whats going on over there . What are you doing . Texting. Stephen youre on the clock now. Is this work for the show . Yes, yes. Stephen this is not private, right . No, its very important for the show. Stephen because youre a cbs employee at the moment. Very important. Stephen its hard to get good help. Welcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. You know, its no secret, i got a little thing fo ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Ih stepcolber tonight all the president s meds. Plus, stephen welcomes gayle king and amy sedaris featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen ready to do it . One more time. No . That hurt last time. Youre not going to do it again . Stephen ill do it again. Im not afraid of you. Ready . Lets do it. Come on welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Were all still trying to process the shocking revelation that donald trump dropped last night he cares about his health. Case in point today he had an event in a room where he was surrounded by fruits and vegetables. He was shocked to learn that fruit was available in nonrollup form. Usually i only see fruits by the foot. Of course, trump had to brag about how good he was to farmers. We are providing 19 billion to support our nations agricultural produc ....

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